Weather in Avalon is an odder phenomenon than on Earth; it rarely occurs, but when it does people run for the proverbial hills. The last time it happened was when I was 27, and when it did it marked the beginning of a catastrophe like it always did. That time it was The Dimensional Tears, named by both the fact for the first time our safe isolation was truly threatened when the skies ripped open and let in a horde of Otherworlders.

They fell upon us like an avalanche, destroying centuries of work and knowledge. They killed The Servitors, the faceless, robed monks that carried on the Last Will of Merlin, and with them we were cast into a period of chaos. They left us with no leadership, no guidance for the first time.

In their absence, men and women both great and monstrous, picked up the torch; some were better intentioned then others, like The New Queen who picked up the mantle of Queen Quinevere to beat back the darkness and opened up more institutions of Good than any other, like Kid Mordred who is a shadowy figure of the most heinous persuasion that killed children by burning the house they were in, that raided the Church Arcane and stole priceless artifacts, and who slaughtered countless good people.

Nonetheless, they provided us the leadership we desperately needed and saved us from ruin

Lost in my thoughts, I didn't even noticed that I was being followed until he shouted "Jack! I need to talk to you, Jack!"         

By God, how many people want that artifact! 

Sighing, I withdrew my gun and turned around. 

"Listen, I'm having a very bad day right now so if you don't mind walking off since I don't have the artifact, I'll appreciate that greatly," 

"Woah! WoahWoahWoahWoah! Wait! I don't know what artifact you're talking but I just want to talk!" He stammered out in a frightened manner.

"How do I know you aren't going to kill you?"

"Kill you?! Do I look like some crazy person?" He squawked out

Now that I had more time to look at him, I saw that he didn't look like a killer. He looked more like an accountant in his suspenders and striped shirt. He wasn't very intimidating when he looked like a skinny tree stump. He had hair like someone one put a brown wig over an egg. 

"Well, here in Avalon not everything is as they appear but I admit that I've never seen a killer that looked as mediocre as you so I'll give you a chance," 

It looked like he didn't hear me since he had his bugged-out eyes staring at my gun like it was a rabid dog that would leap on him if he took his eyes off of it. 

"Haven't you ever seen a gun before?" I asked sarcastically.

"No! They've been outlawed for decades! I don't know why anyone would ever want to have something as barbaric as that!" He choked out in genuine shock.

Sighing I said "Would it make you feel better if I put it away?" 

"Yes! Very!" He relied gratefully with a relieved sigh.

Exaggerating my movements, I put my gun back into my pocket slowly and said "I can tell you aren't from around here and you won't last long in Avalon, so how about we get off the streets and you can tell me why you felt like you needed to chase me down?" 

"Um. Well. That sounds fine, I guess," He answered uncertainly for some reason.

I internally shook my head as I marveled at the meekness of Old Worlders, I grabbed his arm and pulled him into a nearby restaurant that specialized in Demon Flesh; they were having a special on Fallen Angels.

He was staring around like a kid's first visit to the candy store, all wide-mouthed and shiny eyes, so I said "Listen, at least tell me your name first," to pull him back into reality and prevent him from drooling then and there.

"Uh. Sorry, I was distracted by all of this-Did you know they are having a special on Fallen Angels!" His voice got high-pitched at the last bit as he began to become sidetracked again.

Exasperatingly, I took out my stun gun and shot him in the chest to make sure I got his attention (also since I just got tired of vying for his attention). He spasmed like he was having a stroke and hit the floor like a sack of rotten potatoes. 

I bent down and picked him up in my arms which sounded more impressive than it was since he was as light as a feather, and said to the manservant that was watching us the whole time "Table for two and a bottle of Black Pandemonium ASAP," 

"Of course, Good Sirs, that'll be just a moment," he smoothly said as he lead us to a table discreetly hidden from view of the other diners that were looking at us askance since here I was, carrying a spasming person like there was nothing wrong with that whatsoever. 

"I sat him down on his chair and took back my stun gun which allowed him to finally stop spasming but he still shook randomly for a while afterwards. 

"Now that I got your attention, do you mind telling what the Devil is your name, you sad piece of camel shit," I said calmly like I hadn't just verbally abused him. 

Gaping at me open-mouthed, which seem to be a recurring thing with him, and gasped out "You just shot me," in a voice that didn't quite believe that it actually happened.

"Yes. Yes, I did since you were being too much of a tourist to be of any use to either of us. And I don't like repeating myself so unless you tell me your name, I'll shoot you with my other gun. The one with actual bullets," I said with my patience thinning.

"My name is Lionel Josephs and I need your help," he paused dramatically for effect and waited for me ask for more.

Tired of his antics, I reached back in my pocket for my stun gun with a sigh and Lionel's eyes went huge again and he sputtered out "Waitwaitwaitwaitwait. Just calm down for a second and let me finish!" in a fast-paced vein. I took my hand back out of my jacket and placed them on the table and said "Then stop being a ponce and tell me what's going on but if I have to repeat myself again, I. Will. Shoot. You," I enunciated those last words slowly and with emphasis on shoot.

Understanding that I would in fact shoot him, he cut the crap out and said in a business-like manner "The reason I came into this thieve's den of a place is that I'm looking for my sister," I was impressed by how much he could focus when given the chance.

"I looked all over Washington for a week for her and plastered posters all over looking for her but she seemed to disappear off the face of the Earth. So that's when I thought that if she literally wasn't on Earth then she must be in Avalon and even if she wasn't in here then there must be someone the Third Eye Corporation that could at least point in the right direction so I could at least know where to start to even begin to find her," he paused to take a breath and to calm his slowly rising voice. 

That was when the waiter came back with my Black Pandemonium that looked even more unappetizing than usual. Lionel stared at the smoke that came off of it that briefly formed into images of tormented faces before quickly crumbling back into smoke. He stared at the black foam that bubbled in the bottle and at the sulfurous smell that radiated from it.

"You're drinking that?!" He finally managed to say after staring at it in shock and wonder. 

"Yes. Do you want some?" I asked inquiringly and started to pour him a glass. The corrosive substances in the brew threatened to eat away the very glass it was poured in. 

"What is that," Lionel asked in a quiet voice that held both curiosity and horror at what he saw. 

"Black Pandemonium. The favored brew of Sinners and Failures in all of Avalon and possibly in different worlds too. It tastes like liquid asphalt mixed with rotten eggs, but fortunately it doesn't hurt your liver at all. Just your immortal soul by marring it unrecoverably beyond any hope of Redemption and by eating away at it like a tapeworm," I said in an all too cheerful voice as I reached for my deathly cold bottle and drank it like the alcoholic son-of-a-bitch I was, in big gulps one after another. 

"So tell me more about yourself and why I should give a flying fuck about your probably already dead sister?" I said callously, not giving a damn about his dainty little feelings.

Ignoring my deliberately antagonizing words, he replied to me "While I know that I don't look like much, I am the founder of the Josephs-Dawson Center For The Magically Gifted and while I don't mean to brag, I am a powerful sorcerer by the United Nation's Standards Of Magic so I was able to gather like-minded individuals that wanted to educate the next generation of wizards. We now have 27 schools throughout the continental United States with more to come and we have managed to raise up 250,000 United Nations Credit that is usable in any UN country that will be yours if you merely manage to take me to my sister," he said all of this in a long, drawn-out breath of a man that truly loved his work and the people he was helping.

While I probably won't be using any of that money any time soon it'll be good to know that I will have emergency funds to use on Earth in case I ever have to run from Avalon, besides how hard can finding someone be?" 

Curiously, I asked "If you have that much then you must've tried going to the Third Eye, so why didn't they try to find your sister?" 

Reluctantly, he said "They told that since she wasn't from Avalon they didn't care what happened to Sandra, obviously they phrased it in a more polite way than that but that was the gist of it,"

I nodded my head at that since the Corporation was as prejudiced as they were powerful, but I would've expected the money to change their minds. "But why did you pick me instead of some other independent Seer?"

He said "I think Sandra got in over her head and I needed someone that could get her out of trouble as well as find her in the first place. I heard that you knew people that could find her so here I am standing in front of you,"

Now that I knew how he found me I moved on to other business "You mentioned something about a standard of magic?" I said curiously since I wanted to know how I stack up by their measure.

Given the chance to enthuse about something he was so obviously passionate about, he said in a rapid manner "Yes! When we first found about Avalon mages started coming out of the woodwork like ants and we knew that we had to have at least a semblance of order so we drew up a table of magical power to help us categorize them,"

Taking out a ballpoint pen, he started writing on a piece of scratch paper he found and showed me the chart he drew.

According to the chart, there were three main levels of wizardry: from the lowest to the highest it went from Mage to Wizard to Sorcerer and within in each level there were nine tiers of strength. This seemed completely arbitrary since the words mage, sorcerer, and wizard are practically synonymous to each other. 

"And how strong is a Mage compared to a Sorcerer?" I asked wanting to see how strong they were.

Lifting his chin up, he said "While a Mage might be able to do anything from guessing how a coin to land to summoning a small flame, a Tier 3 Sorcerer such as myself can throw fireballs the size of a golf ball several times a day before passing out. So as you can see, I am quite a formidable opponent," he said all of this with no sign of joking.

Amused by how much they praised themselves for managing to do what an Avalonian child could do when he was 6, I said to him "You do realize then, that your strongest "Sorcerer" will get absolutely demolished by any odd magic caster of ours if we decide that we want to come in and invade?"

"Well, but then they'll be facing the combined might of the world's armies and Sorcerers!" He said, not seeing how silly he sounded.

I said to him "I'll find her but I'll need you to take me to Earth,"

Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

"Why would you want to come to Earth?" He asked not knowing why I would want to go there when so many other Avaloners wanted nothing to do with the Old World.

"I have business there," was all I had to offer to him as an explanation.

"Well, I will gladly take you back with me as long as you take me to Sandra," Standing up he offered me a handshake to seal the deal but I just sat and finished off the rest of my beer. When I did stand up I completely ignored it and told him "If you don't mind I need to do something before I can get started on looking for your sister, and if you want to come along you're welcome to it but you might want to stay behind where it's safe,"

As expected, he shook his said and said "No, I'm not leaving your side until we find her," I knew that he would say that since if I had family I would do the same for them.

Smirking I said, "You might regret saying that when you find out where we're going,"

"And where's that," he said in confusion

"Club Rain," I said, not offering anything else which left him scrambling to keep up with me in worry as I quickly tossed money onto the table and strode out of the restaurant with long steps.

Club Rain or The Rain Nightclub as it is called formally is a place that shows the evil of Avalon in the truest sense with crimes of all kind happening there very second. You can find Neptunian Meth being peddled and sold in the back, you can buy weapons of mass destruction on layaway, you can bet money in the Pit that makes drug addicts hopped up on Rise, a drug that took away the sensation of pain and made you feel like The Second Coming Of Christ, face off against trolls, you could pay money to watch dogs tear apart children, and things that even I won't mention.

It was guarded by warlocks that didn't care about being hidden but practically screamed out their presence in their gaudy robes and jewels. They promised violence in the form of bursts of green fire that would burn until you were melted down into a pile of sludge. They were strong enough to keep out even the Combat Mages, which was why I decided to just lob a grenade at them and watch their bodies fly.

Ignoring Lionel's shocked expression, I stepped over their bodies and used my Gift to blow the door in and walked in. Lionel followed behind me uncertainly, trying not to stare at the bodies around him.

"I'm back, boys! You all know what happened the last time I came here so how about you give me what I want and I'll get out of your hair! Or you know, I could burn this place down again?" I said cheerfully with a wide smile directed towards the shocked patrons who did not expect their night of wild debauchery to be disturbed so openly.

Finally getting over their shock, they all leapt up to their feet and started casting magic to kill me. Waiting until they unleashed on me their magic, I dived for the floor and pulled Lionel with me to avoid the certain death racing above me. I pulled out another grenade and threw it at the largest clump of casters. The spray of body parts and furniture did wonders for getting my point across to the rest of them. Ignoring Lionel who looked like he was trying not to descend into hysterics while on the floor, I got back up to look at the socialites with brain on their dresses and blood on their tuxedos. 

I looked around me slowly and saw tight-lipped faces staring at me, I pointed at a random Club Rain employee and said to her "Did I have to kill a bunch of your customers? No. But did I enjoy killing the scum that call themselves people? Yes. So you should really take me and my dear friend, Lionel," I said with a smile as I pulled him up when I looked for him and found that he was still on the floor "To Don Ferdinand before I kill anymore of your fragile and rich customers!" 

She opened and closed her mouth like a fish suddenly thrust onto land but before she could gather herself as she tried to parse through the wanton violence in front of her, a burly half-giant said to me "If you would allow me to escort you fine gentlemen in her place to the Don," 

I tilted my head and said "I would be ever-so-grateful to you if you would,"

Finally managing to speak, Lionel said to me in a quiet whisper "You can't just kill those people like that, Jack. You just can't," 

"Lionel. The people I killed deserved it, believe me. They deserved it a million times over for the things they have done," I said quietly to him like a mother explaining to her son not to talk to strangers.

Wordlessly accepting my explanation because if he didn't he would not be able to accept what he saw today, he limply followed me down the velvet stairs hidden behind the bar. I absentmindedly wondered if I was going to get killed or not by the Don's troops but I decided to not worry too much about it.

The Don is a powerful man that surrounds himself with loyal retainers and protective wards, he controls the Avalon drug trade which brings him an inconceivable amount of money and which gives him an iron grip over the people of the streets.

When I walked into the room, I was deeply impressed by the sheer amount of weaponry packed into the room. I mean, who the Hell keeps a freaking nuke in their office! The warlocks that packed the room were also rather intimidating as well, they weren't going to be as easy to kill as the ones outside, these were the real deal. 

I examined the man in front of me, Don Ferdinand, and saw a old man that still is brimming over with power and intelligence still glinted from his gray eyes. He was a skinny man wrapped around a skeletal frame that looked like he would snap in half if he stood against a stiff wind but that was just a guise made to catch the foolish off guard. He wore the classic black suit with red tie that would not be out of place in a action movie.

"Care to explain to me as to why you felt the need to waltz in here and blow up my fine establishment," he sufferingly said to me in a tone more quizzical than mad.

"If I don't show people that I'm willing to do anything than how would anything get done?" I replied cheekily to hide the fact I was secretly furiously praying inside that I wouldn't get vaporized on the spot. 

"Well, Jack you have my attention now, so do you mind telling me what you came here for?"

"What do you know about the artifact in the Smithsonian?" I said bluntly

With a wolffish smile he said "You mean the old thing that everybody thinks you've stolen?"

With a simple nod of my head, I showed him that that was in fact the thing I was asking about.

With a chuckle, he leaned backwards into his leather chair that was his throne and said "I don't know what the thing even looks like and I seriously doubt that any of the people that were chasing after you do either. I believe that they are just hounds sent after you to keep you too busy fighting for your life to see the bigger picture,"

"The bigger picture? What bigger picture," I asked interested in what it was.

"I, for one, don't have the slightest idea but I know there must be one since that would be what I do if I was them. After all, why would I even want the thing if it wasn't part of a greater plan I wanted to set in motion but keep hidden?" He explained to me while puffing on a cigar he picked up from the table and lit with a thought.

"So you think that I'm being led around like a dog on a leash?" I asked angrily at the idea.

"No, Jack. I know you are. But who's your friend standing over there?" He asked with curiosity.

Extending his hand, Lionel said "My name is Lionel Josephs, pleased to meet you,"

Grabbing his hand before the Don could shake it I said "You might not want to do that, the Don is a life mage which means if you so much as touch him, he can kill in a hundred different ways from making your heart give out to giving you an aneurysm," 

"Oh, that would've been bad. Thanks, Jack" He said with his trepidation palpable 

"Do you really think so low of me, Jack. I wouldn't dare do that to a friend," he said with mock hurt.

"But we aren't your friends are we, now?" I countered.

"Indeed, you are nothing but a thorn in my side that plagued me ever since we met," he hissed out with sudden anger as he stood up. He motioned at his goons and said "Whoever kills Jack will get a handsome reward and become an officer!" 

With graceful confidence, they all pulled out their short staffs and fired upon me, making it look like an inferno appeared from all sides around me that rushed at me rapidly. Activating my Timestop for the second time today even though I knew that might have repercussions even worse than what was in front of me, I pulled Lionel with me as I fell backwards. Nonetheless, one of the blasts came dangerously close to my face and gave me a 3rd-degree burn on my right arm. Yanking him back up, we raced up the stairs to escape to safety as fire rampaged in the room behind us.

 "You inbred imbeciles! Why did you set fire to my office!" I heard Ferdinand roar as the space around him became a furnace. "Never mind! Just go up the stairs and follow him! Make sure he never returns except in a body bag or you'll be the ones in it!" 

Grinning to myself in spite of the predicament we were in, I noted that while I didn't set the Club on fire myself, they did it for me instead which was even better and made almost getting killed worth it. But that was when the cost for using my Gift kicked in, thankfully I didn't use it for long so it wasn't too bad but falling to your knees coughing up blood from lungs isn't a too great of a feeling.

Pulling a handkerchief from his breast pocket, Lionel handed it to me wordlessly and I took it gratefully to use it to wipe up the blood from the floor in case Don Ferdinand found it and were to use it to cast a thaumaturgical spell to melt my insides out a thousands miles away. 

"I take it that it didn't go as well as you planned," Lionel asked me sarcastically.

"Considering the fact that I didn't have a plan, I would like to believe that it went splendidly," I replied whimsically as I found myself getting more injured than I had ever on any other of my cases, they were all fairly straightforward until this one; I went and found my target, killing those who deserved killing and sparing those who were just in it for the money, and going home drunk after spending the money on expensive drink and women. 

What was it about this case that was so difficult?

Shaking my head and clearing my thoughts, I said to Lionel "I got as much information as I could so I think it's high time that we started looking for your sister,"

Brightening up like a light bulb that got switched on for the first time, he beamed at me happily and said "Great! Where should we start!"

"Well, starting a ritual that requires me to offer up my blood to the moon goddess Selene sounds like a great idea. Let's just go back to my apartment to catch my breath before hand so I don't killed while doing it," I said calmly like what I suggested was a walk in the park and not a dangerous ritual form time immemorial. 

"Oh. That sounds possibly less fun than what we just went through," he said after a while.

"Well, you do want to find your sister don't you?"

"Well, yes but I don't feel comfortable with you constantly risking your life for me," He said in reply.

"Then if it makes you feel any better, you'll be doing it along with me; offering up your blood and all!" I said while I slapped his back comradely in partnership.

"Wait! What!" He asked scared.

A wild grin was all I had in response to that as I hailed for a taxi to take us back to my apartment to risk our lives again.