Compared to Morey, the Marquess of White Horse Town, Phillip, the Marquess of Moonlight Town, was far less respectable.
Suggestion: Compared to Morey, the Marquess of White Horse Town, Phillip, the Marquess of Moonlight Town, had far less prestige/reputation.
The entire purpose of Moonlight Town's existence was to mine moonstone from the luminite mines north of town. Almost every household in the town was directly or indirectly tied to the interests of the luminite mines.
Suggestion: The sole purpose of Moonlight Town's existence was mining moonstones from the luminite mines north of town. Almost every household in the town was directly or indirectly connected to the interests of the luminite mines.
Fundamentally, Phillip was just the foreman of the miners under the Earl.
Suggestion: At his core, Phillip was merely the foreman of the miners under the Earl.
This story is posted elsewhere by the author. Help them out by reading the authentic version.
Naturally, a mine foreman's castle was completely unrelated to luxury.
Suggestion: Naturally, a mine foreman's castle had nothing to do with luxury.
In fact, the guest room arranged by the Marquess for Xiao Bole was dark, damp, and filled with a mixed stench of excrement and rot.
Suggestion: In fact, the guest room arranged by the Marquess for Xiao Bole was dark, damp, and filled with a mixed stench of excrement and decay.
If he didn't know that the Marquess' own quarters weren't much better, he would have flipped out already.
Suggestion: If he didn't know the Marquess' own quarters weren't much better, he would have flipped out already.
Firstly because he had stayed in worse places before. And secondly because the chair happened to fit his stature, unlike Xiao Bole who had to squeeze hard to fit his bottom in.
Suggestion: Firstly, because he had stayed in worse places before. And secondly, because the chair happened to suit his stature, unlike Xiao Bole who had to squeeze to fit his bottom in.
I made some additional suggestions for word choice and phrasing to improve the flow and accuracy. Please let me know if you would like me to explain or expand on any of the changes. Overall the translation is good, just needs some polish.