I wish I remembered my name. Sal couldn’t remember it either when I asked him. I stared down on the caravan, so far away that it looked like the point of a needle.

I stretched my arms and looked around me. I was higher up than I had ever been in all my life. The large tree we decided to rest inside didn’t just climb above The Pass, it climbed high above the entire mountain range. I could see the world splayed out in front of me like an oil canvas, stretching almost without end. On one side I could see the line where Gransus met the vast desert sands, the place I went with RE— Sal. The place I went with Sal so I could surpass level 1000.

On the other side I could see a deep fogged land, covered in rising white fog. Beyond it was the blue of the sea, an ocean that looked to stretch forever, beyond the curve of the planet.

To the North I could make out the top of the Capital City, just a small patch of gray to me from here, and beyond that I could see a range of white mountains.

I turned to the South, to the land of Barbory, and I could see cities and towns interspersed with woodlands, hills, mountains, and rivers. It looked like a fertile place, flush with the colors gold and green, beloved by whatever God watched over it.

A land of piety, that worshipped the Human Fae… A land that worshipped a devil as a God.

I reached my hand out towards it and held up my palm. If I cast [Heaven’s Downfall] a few times from here I could probably wipe the country from the map. I could eradicate it and everyone living there. If I did so, the other Fae would surely take note. They would come to realize Nox’s plan. I could have my cursory revenge that way...

And by doing so I would eradicate Lily’s hope of ever walking again. I would lose my family from my forst world due to Nox's revenge. I would probably end up getting hunted like an animal and, I would kill too many people to count, resulting in their souls being grafted onto mine like replacement skin over a burn wound.

I would probably lose my mind.

I wasn’t certain why I even considered it in the first place, why I even mused the thoughts. My headspace felt cluttered and wrong.

My heart hurt.

I stepped off the tree branch and let myself start falling. The wind blew by me faster and faster still. I held my arms and legs out, imitating a diving form. I angled myself and oriented my body so it pointed downwards. I felt my falling speed continue to increase.

Finally, after enough time passed, my speed stopped increasing. I reached terminal velocity, the point at which the acceleration of gravity met its match against the resistance of friction. 

I felt weightless, then. I twisted once and felt like an astronaut, just for the fun of it, and I laughed. I smiled again. In that moment life returned to me. I felt alive. 

I knew that, even if I hit the ground, it would hardly hurt me. My body could survive bigger impacts at higher speeds like they were nothing… But there was something liberating about the freefall that just made me feel good. Perhaps it was a childish thing, but I was happy.

For a moment I felt joy again.

During the fall I thought about my last few weeks in this world, about how I never stopped doing things or going places. I never relaxed.

From the moment the coup started, the moment I made that mistake and got teleported by the Tartarus Charm, everything went to Hell.

Endyrion was dead. Gertrude was dead. Lily was a cripple. James ran off to the Forgotten Lands by himself. I regained my memories from my past lives, as fucking useless as they seemed in hindsight now… And I regained my long lost best friend Sal.

Not all of them were terrible things. I regained my best friend. I kept my ego through a literal ascension to Godhood.

Those were amazing things. Though I did wish I could enter that mindspace again. I still have no idea how I built Sal's current body. I wish I did, because if I could make a new body what purpose would getting Lily healed serve? 

I sighed mid fall. Three bugs went into my mouth and I started hacking and coughing for a moment. My eyes teared up. Opening my mouth was dumb. 

The negatives still outweighed the positives in my list.

My family on Earth were hostages. My friends Lily and James were hostages too.

Even my best friend in all the world, Sal, ended up being taken from me without me ever even noticing.

That last one hit me the hardest.

If I didn’t notice Sal was gone, would I notice if Nox took other things from me?

“I’m afraid,” I said, making sure I said it aloud but also keeping a hand over my mouth, my fingers acting as a screen. The reason I threw myself into protecting the caravan with such fervor, the reason I fought so damned hard and aggressively, I understood it all in that moment.

I was afraid. I was terrified.

I wasn’t some invincible God. Despite surpassing level 1000 I certainly didn’t consider myself one of ‘The Fae’.

I couldn’t remember my name, but I could feel each soul within me stirring, crying out in unison, begging me to keep on the proper course. Just as they were part of me now, I was part of them too. We were one entity, a union. Whatever my name was on Earth, that wasn’t me now.

And that was fine.

I wasn’t a lone dragon wandering down from his mountain home. I wasn’t a kid who played video games for a living, either. I wasn’t a dancer, a firefighter, a necromancer, an alchemist, or even a fencer. I certainly wasn’t a shitty assassin who crippled a princess’s legs and got my head twisted off by a demon.

Three words came to me, words I repeated over and over since I came to this world every time someone called me a name I didn’t like. They echoed in my head so many times the sound started to harmonize, until it roared like thunder: “Call me Calliope.”

Because that’s who I was.

-

I looked down and saw the ground approaching. With a twist, I stabbed Belial’s Blade into the bark of the tree and stopped my downwards momentum. With a flash I disappeared from the treeside and appeared on the ground.

I dodged through the escorts and avoided wandering eyes until I reached Sal’s side. I grabbed his hand and pulled him with me, until we both reached the carriage.

I snuck us both inside and sat him down opposite a rather surprised Lily.

“I’m glad to see you feeling better, Calliope,” said Lily after a moment.

“Lily, I need to talk to you,” I said. “About me, about RED, and about everything.”

“That’s fine,” she replied. “I’d love for you to tell me about things.”

“This will take a bit of time,” I said.

“We don’t leave for another seven hours,” she replied.

“Then I’d like to tell you everything about me and Sal.”

“Sal?” she asked.

“RED here. His real name is Sal,” I said.

“Oh! Nice to meet you then, Mr. Sal.” Lily offered her hand. Sal took it grinned.

“I’ve told you a few things over the time we’ve been together, but I just want someone to listen to the full story to the beginning,” I said. “I just need to get it off my chest.”

I felt Lily put her hand on my forearm. “You can talk all you want. I’ll listen to everything.”

I looked up and met her eyes. I think I was smiling, but I couldn’t tell. Everything was kind of blurry. I couldn’t see her that well.

“It all started the day I met Sal…”

And I started talking. And I didn’t stop until I told her everything about me. Sal sat next to me and helped in places I couldn't remember all that well, filling in the gaps. Lily asked questions and laughed with me.

I looked at them both and wiped my cheeks.

I had lost many things, but I had gained others… And I wouldn’t trade what I gained for anything in all the world.

I didn’t deserve friends like them.