Vaile trudged through the dense undergrowth beneath the towering and twisting trees of the Karnarous Forest, the only sounds that could be heard being the crunch of the occasional leaf or the cracking of the occasional branch resulting from his foot coming down. Aside from those noises, the forest was deafeningly quiet, a sure sign that there was something nearby that was so dangerous that the normally vocal fauna decided that it would be in their best interest to be a silent as the grave they hoped to avoid. In fact, Vaile had yet to have heard any animal noises aside from the rutting beasts he had scared off just a few short hours ago.
As he wandered, lost and alone, through the Karnarous Forest, he kept checking and rechecking his minimap, hoping that he could spot the trace of something, anything, that he could talk to. Alas, there was nary a soul to be seen, even by the holdover from his time in the game. Deciding that he had enough time to waste, he stopped and almost sat down near the base of the gigantic Redwood-like trees, but the sound of a few rustling leaves and the cracking of a small branch set him into an alert state.
Why?
Because he knew for a fact that he was not the one to make those noises.
“If the freaking Hollow Man pops up, I’m going to punch its lights out.”
By ‘The Hollow Man’, Vaile meant a more recent take on an old creepypasta. He was not too sure about the lore behind the cryptid, but it was apparently some kind of ally or perhaps rival to some kind of really, really old Internet Boogeyman called ‘Slenderman’. Given that the devs of the game dug into all kinds of nightmare fuel and internet legends for inspiration, Vaile was positive that some kind of old and new creepypastas had a trace in the game, and therefore in the New World.
“All right, creepies. It’s me, ya boi. I’ve got a great big can of whoop-ass, and if you don’t want it served to you, I recommend you come out in the open. ‘Cause if I have to come and find you myself instead of you making yourself visible, I swear to whatever god, gods or lack thereof that you hold dear that I will mess you up so bad your mother will never recognize you.”
There was silence in the dark forest once again, but Vaile was not interested in dealing with this shit.
“I’m going to count down from 10. If I reach zero and you still aren’t out in the open where I can see you with my flimsy Human eyes, I will use my immense power to level this place.”
This was a bluff of course, but Vaile was not able to let his poor poker face be seen due to his mask and attire, so no one would have been able to tell that he could not fully back up his threat.
“T-Minus Ten. Nine. Eight. Seven.”
The nearby flora rustled a bit, but no one and nothing came out to play.
“Six. Five. Four.”
The sounds of something with a heavy build rushing through the forest assailed Vaile’s ears and his minimap displayed an entity with a Level of 58 moving towards him at ‘high’ speed. Still, rather than pop out into the open, the entity stopped and hid in some foliage.
“Three… Two…”
If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.
The minimap began to light up as over seventy-nine Level 24 entities raced towards Vaile and the hiding Level 58 entity.
“One….”
Vaile’s ‘fake countdown to doom’ was interrupted as a poisoned arrow flew from the group of Level 24 beings and smacked him straight on his mask’s forehead. Soon, this was followed by a few other arrows, all tipped with the same paralytic poison. These then were followed by sling stones that had Stun Enchantments on them, and finally by a launched weighted net that fell on the unamused gamer and merely made him supremely disappointed with whomever or whatever was coming after him.
The flora and shadows of the forest gave way and Vaile saw the individuals responsible for attacking him. The seventy-nine Level 24 entities were all Werean of various types. It was easy to tell that they were Werean rather than Beastmen because, unlike the more ‘furry’ and often chimera-like Beastmen, the Werean had tails and animal ears, but not much else that would identify them as non-human. The Werean Vaile saw were obviously as disappointed or even slightly more so than Vaile himself, as they seemed to be rather annoyed that they had not managed to capture their intended quarry.
But they seemed to want to take their predicament in stride, as once they got over their irritation that they had not captured the ‘mindless savage’ that they were hunting they came to the conclusion that their current captive would work just as well.
Among things spoken that made Vaile quite annoyed were lines such as;
“Well, at least we can ransom it back naked. I think those clothes should fetch a pretty penny, and if it can afford them then it should have rich relatives to buy it back at a high rate.”
“Nah, we should just sell it to a brothel. I mean, whatever it is underneath that fancy getup, it should be attractive to someone.”
“Yeah, and after we work it to breaking in a brothel, we sell it to a work camp while getting its ransom and then never hand it over!”
“You, sir, are brilliant! I’ll buy you an ale when we get back. Wanna stop by the whorehouse and break some dumbass savages in?”
“Sorry, but I don’t stick my dick in animals.”
Needless to say, Vaile was far from amused. In fact, underneath his mask he bore a similar expression to the meme of the still currently alive Queen Elizabeth II of England. Not that anyone could have seen his face, but it was the thought that counted. Vaile sighed audibly as he reached up and began to tug at the weighted net that was draped over him, much to the mockery of his would-be captors. However, Vaile was through with their bullshit and wanted to send a valuable message.
That message being that a mere Level 24 could never hope to defeat a Level 1000, even with so many other weaklings on its side, and said message began to be delivered when Vaile stopped toying around and ripped the weighted net to bits with his bare hands. As the Werean mob looked on in shock, Vaile stepped forward and took a rather Shakespearean bow.
“My good and noble sirs,” Vaile said in a theatrical yet mocking tone of sarcasm and irreverence, “it would seem as though you have ordered too much to ingest. However, being the demanding host that I am, I require that you enjoy the full can of whoop-ass that I serve to you. Alas, you may simply be unable to endure the meal provided to you, but I do hope you enjoy what I intend to serve. I worked long and hard to perfect the recipe, so enjoy your can of whoop-ass while you can, because you will be so full by the time I am done that you may have to enjoy other meals through a straw for the rest of your days afterwards.”
Vaile straightened up and took off his mask, which caused ever single Werean in the opposing group to instantly lose their lunch.
“That’s it.” Vaile said mockingly. “Just a taste of what is to come; now you can understand what I’m cooking. Now then, since you enjoyed the appetizer so much, here comes the first course!”
And with that, Vaile walked forward and planted his foot into the crotch of the leading Werean tracker/ hunter, crushing his ‘nads with ungodly force and sending the poor sob flying in a parabola and into a decently sized shrubbery. Vaile repeated this action several times before the rest of the Werean managed to pull themselves together enough to try and mount a counterattack.
As they surrounded him with watery eyes, dripping noses and the occasional dry heave, Vaile stood defiant and smiled.
“Second Course of Whoop-Ass is now being served. I hope you have room for it and three more after.”