A lizardman, a kobold, a dragonborn, a draconewt, and a half-dragon sat around a table with a few cards in each of their hands. While there was a battle raging around them, they did not seem to notice, nor care, instead focusing on their game.

“This sucks.”

“Yep.”

“Damn straight.”

“Couldn’t agree more.”

“Annoying as fuck.”

One of them sighed and put his cards face down on the table, picked up a small hand crossbow, and fired a bolt off into one direction. Shortly thereafter, there was the sound of the bolt striking a soft, meaty target, which led to the hand holding the small crossbow putting the weapon back down, and picking up the cards again.

“Pretty sure that makes a ‘killtacular’.”

“No.” said the draconid that had fired the crossbow. “Just about one short of that.”

“Close enough…” muttered another person at the table. That person set down their cards in a similar manner that the first one had and picked up a long spear, held it at an angle for a while, and listened.

As if on cue, there came the sound of chain mail parting and organs being skewered, and the hands holding the pike swung the weapon around a bit before putting the weapon down now that the body on the end had fallen off.

“Now that was a ‘killtacular’.” said the monster who had wielded the pike.

“Okay, okay.” grumbled the largest person at the table as he picked up a mace and smacked the head of a person who tried to stab him with a dagger. “But, really, this is just getting annoying.”

“I agree.” grumbled another person at the table. “But we are all annoyed with this bullshit by now.” she then picked up a throwing ax and tossed it into the distance, letting it slam into and embed itself into the skull of an elf before calling the weapon back to her hand and setting it back down.

A draconewt flew down from the sky and landed nearby, swinging a heavy cutlass and slicing the arms off of a werean. “Why the fuck are you lot just sitting around?!” he yelled, almost running over to flip the table.

“Because they are not a threat, and they need to be shown as such.” uttered the dragonborn as she began to reel his head back. “Ah… ahh… ACHOO!” as he sneezed, he shifted his head to one side and unleashed cryogenic magic from his mouth onto the face of a nearby enemy combatant, which caused some rather nasty damage as their warm flesh reacted with the mix of gas, magic, and fluids that were somewhere around the range of -60 degrees, temperature-wise.

“Nice.” said the kobold as she flashed a thumbs up. “My turn.” she then leaned down below the table, picked up a small throwing knife, and chucked it off the side of the wall they were on.

“You didn’t hit shit.”

“Wait for it.” the kobold insisted. “Waaaaaiit for iiit….”

A Wilhelm scream came from somewhere in the battle that was raging around them, but it was coming from the rough direction that the thrown knife had been sent.

“Told ya.”

“Lucky shot.”

The kobold smirked. “All kobolds are lucky by default.”

“Oh, get over yourself.” hissed a dragonborn who was fighting nearby. “ 'Closest to the dragons’ my ass!”

“Hey!” yelled the card-playing kobold. “Don’t knock it because it’s true!”

Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.

“Half-dragons are literally the children of dragons with lesser creatures.” insisted the half-dragon. “Pretty sure that makes us the ‘closest’ to the dragons.”

“Being half part of the Races disqualifies you lot.” the kobold spat. “No offense, by the way.”

“None taken. It is a shame we have to deal with. Why the hell do you think that we’re the most militant and fanatical of the lesser draconids?” the half-dragon said with a shrug. “Gotta make up for our impurity somehow.”

“So, you were joking just a bit ago?” the kobold asked.

“Duh.” replied that half-dragon as they whipped their tail behind themselves and broke the neck of a would-be assailant. “Did you honestly think that I thought my kind were superior in any way?”

“Eh, don’t sell your kind short.” interjected the draconewt. “You and the dragonborn are more draconic-looking than my kind.” they gestured to their more human-like features before setting their cards face-up on the table. “look at this face; it looks too human. Oh, and I’ve got a pair of fives and a pair of sevens.”

“At least you have wings.” joked the dragonborn. “All my kind have are these damn tendril-like dreadlocks-looking things. Hell, I don’t even have a tail! I’m less draconic than a lizardman! No offense, by the way.” they then placed their cards face-up. “A pair of twos and thee tens.”

“None taken.” added the lizardman as they revealed their hand and then stood up and bit down on the neck of a nearby human before then Leonidas-kicking the man away to bleed out on the ground. “At least your kind can use a breath attack. And also, my hand is a dud, so I fold.”

“Well, kobolds are perfect, so I’ll just brag about that. A straight. Read ‘em and weep.”

“Well,” said the half-dragon with a bit of mild concern in their voice. “this sucks.”

“Bad hand?” asked one of the others at the table.

“No, quite the opposite.” replied the half-dragon as they set down their cards. “I just know I’m in trouble because I got a Royal Straight Flush.”

“That is… impressive.”

“Not thinking I cheated?”

“No.” the rest of the table felt the same way and insisted as such to the nervous half-dragon. “Why would we think you cheated?”

“Every other group I won against thought that I did. I didn’t, but as a half-dragon….”

“Ha!” laughed the kobold. “If you did cheat, then it’s our own damn fault for not being able to catch it. Besides, a half-dragon though you may be, that fact has no bearing on skill or luck. You just got lucky, or you were skilled enough to win by some other means.”

“Oh,.. okay.” the half-dragon then stood up from the table and slashed a man’s throat out with a swipe of their claws. “But shouldn’t we, like, help a little bit more?”

“Yeah, it is getting rather hard to-” the kobold stopped and picked up another throwing dagger and yeeted it into the melee that was raging around them. “-concentrate.”

“Then let’s break some heads!” roared the dragonborn as they got up and brandished their mace.

“Bet I can kill more than you lot combined!”

“You’re on!”