A good smack upside the head was enough to break Axis out of his loop, which both pleased and annoyed Vaile to no end.
“Fuck, it’s like you’re an old CRT television…” Vaile grumbled as he followed Axis along the path. “Where the hell are you going next, anyway?”
“I’m not going to Hell.” Axis replied, clearly misunderstanding the phrase. “I’m going to find the Holy Grail!”
“Are you shitting me?” Vaile asked dumbfounded. “Are you seriously looking for something like that?”
“I’m not you, so I can’t shit you, silly.” Axis responded, as chipper as always. “The Holy Grail of Uhhh is a priceless relic from a time before everything existed, even itself!”
Vaile found himself awestruck at the idiocy in front of him. Axis could be articulate at times, it seemed, and yet have a mind fit for a toddler at the same time.
“The Holy Grail.. of Uhh….” Vaile let the words tumble about inside of his head for a bit before he realized something. “How the hell do you know about Monty Python?!”
Axis didn’t respond as Vaile had hoped and/ or feared and merely asked who ‘Monty the Python’ was, and if he was a ‘good guy’ or a ‘bad guy’. Vaile honestly didn’t know how to respond to that question, as while he found the old humor to be funny at times, at others he found it to be too absurd even for his own standards.
“Uhhh…” Vaile tried to think of how to reply, as he was absolutely certain beyond any reasonable doubt that, no matter what he said, Axis would fail to understand it properly, which would, in turn, lead to more of this terrible, terrible comedy. “He’s a…’good’ guy?”
Axis remained silent for about a half-minute before replying to Vaile’s words with another question.
“What were we talking about again? Was it the clams?”
“What is it with you and clams?!” Vaile screamed in frustration as Axis brought up that non-sequitur once again. “WHY?! WHY DO YOU CARE ABOUT CLAMS?!”
“Because potatoes are nice.”
Vaile felt a part of himself die as Axis’ idiocy became even more clear.
“Jebus Gripes…. You really are a piece of work, aren’t you?”
“I are smart.” Axis replied jovially. “S, M, R, T. Smart.”
Vaile found himself silently gesturing wildly in all directions as his frustration and annoyance reached critical mass. Finally, he tensed his fingers into a near fist before trying desperately to hold himself back from simply putting this dumb bastard out of his (Vaile’s) misery.
After a few deep breaths and numerous de-stressing exercises, Vaile was of the mind to poke the bear again. However, it would probably have been in his best interest (mentally and emotionally speaking) had he just silently walked along with the dense moron. Instead, and against better judgment, he asked another question.
Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on Royal Road.
“How much further till we get to our destination?”
Axis stopped walking abruptly and Vaile very nearly ran right into him.
“Uhh… you alright?”
Axis looked around and then looked at Vaile.
“Where are we, and where are we going? Are there any clams there?”
Vaile grabbed the teen by his shoulders and shook him violently while issuing his response that bordered on manic fury in tone and volume.
“WHY THE GOD DAMNED FUCK ARE YOU SO FUCKING INTERESTED IN CLAMS?!?”
Axis stayed silent for around three to five seconds after that before giving his reply in a tone fit for an early 2000s era video character.
“I’m a banana.” he paused before speaking again in an equally old tone. “My spoon is too big.”
And Vaile, for his part, avoided simply crushing Axis into paste then and there. He did, however, give the teen a good few smacks across the face and a dressing down as a tidal wave of frustration and emotion poured out of him in an endless deluge of a rant.
And Axis, dense as ever, stood idle and didn’t process any of it. And that only escalated Vaile’s rage. After a solid hour of ranting, Vaile had finally burned through all of his energy (or at least a bit of it) and forcibly turned Axis around and pushed him forward.
The teen would get to Monarkea one way or another, at which point the Dragon-Lord would give Vaile the catharsis he so desperately anticipated experiencing. He only needed to put up with this idiot a few weeks longer, and he was sure of one thing more than anything else.
Those weeks would be a hell worse than anything he had ever had the displeasure of experiencing before, and he hoped that this would remain as the worst experience he would ever have. If something worse than this came along….
Well, he already had a boatload of reasons to hate the Races, and now this multi-week-long trek with this moron would only give him even more of them. This was going to be painful; he just knew it.
…
While Vaile was busy dealing with Axis, another event was transpiring in a massive underground fortress city that previously was the home of a great many Dwarves. Now the halls were filled not with the Races, but with those of draconic blood and body, while the last traces of the former masters of these ancient halls were only visible as nothing more than trophies owned by the current residents.
It was by the whims of the dragons that the great and towering statues of Dwarves long past still stood, and there they would remain standing as nothing more than a testament to the fact that their makers were long since dead or driven out, and that the dragons were both merciful and cruel enough to keep these around as a mockery of what once was.
And deep, deep, deep inside the former capital of a great and progressive Dwarven nation, a pair of dragons held court and discussed things of great import with other powerful beings. And while the talks were going smoothly, there was still a tension in the air, for all who engaged in these talks still remembered the treason committed by one of the dragons.
Thankfully though, compromises had been reached, and while more concessions had been demanded, these had been canceled by those that demanded them when they learned of a certain one of the pair of dragons’ ‘game’ that their Lord Vaile was now an active participant in. And, instead of meat, material, or any number of other offerings, those present only wanted one thing from the pair of dragons.
They wanted to play this game as well, even if only to see their beloved Lord and mock the dumb shit that was to die publicly for the entertainment of the dragons.