SCENE: Meeting room in the castle. The table is full with DUKES and several COURTIERS dressed in extremely expensive clothing. There are not enough chairs for everyone around the table, so ITSUKI, NAOFUMI and CONSTANCE are sitting together on chairs that have been put in rows against the walls. NAOFUMI is holding a stack of papers. REN is talking to one of the DUKES on the left side of the table. MAIDS are bringing refreshments and snacks to the table. Various people around the table are engaged in conversation.
Among the many unfamiliar faces is NOBLEWOMAN LEURIA, sitting close to the NAOFUMI and ITSUKI with her back to them.
CONSTANCE is speaking quietly to NAOFUMI, though not whispering. ITSUKI is listening in.
CONSTANCE: Before we start, I should give you a summary of the ducal politics of Melromarc, and the people involved. Don’t worry, we won’t go into details - I will be here should they become relevant. Broadly speaking, we have two coalitions here. Taking up the left side of the table we have south-western duchies, led by his highness Lord Relen from the duchy of Rocrohar.
CONSTANCE motions to a well-built, older tan man with a flat nose and a blocky face sitting on the left side of the table. This is DUKE MELEK RELEN. He is currently talking to REN.
CONSTANCE: And on the right side of the table we have north-eastern duchies, led by her highness Lady Maoilriain from the duchy of Dornuromarc.
CONSTANCE nods towards DUCHESS LEURIA MAOILRIAIN. ITSUKI leans over to them.
ITSUKI: Why are they split in two? I didn’t ask you this yesterday.
CONSTANCE sighs.
CONSTANCE: It’s complicated, and we don’t have time to go into details. Some of it is long term alliances and friendships between certain dukes, some of it is historical. When it comes to this treaty, the primary determinant of the split is that south-western duchies are - by and large - more industrialized and trade actively with Faubrey, while north-eastern ones tend to be more agricultural. On top of this divide, the north has always had many more demihumans - partly as a result of annexation of Shieldfrieden provinces. For example, the duchy of Javganon has only been formed after the last war.
NAOFUMI: Wasn’t Malatok in Dornuromarc? I thought it’s one of the largest industrial centers?
CONSTANCE: Malatok is more of an exception that proves the rule. There is, in fact, a lot of tension between it and the rest of Dornuromarc. It mirrors the split between the coalitions here quite well, actually.
ITSUKI: How so?
CONSTANCE: The purpose of this all is to establish a wave defense fund, correct? This means that there are two key questions that have to be answered: first, where does the money come from, and second, how is it distributed. The answer to the former is taxes, but the key question is what should be taxed to make up the difference. For obvious reasons, the south leans towards taxes on agriculture, while the north wants to tax industry and trade.
ITSUKI nods.
ITSUKI: Everyone wants to get the other guy to pay for it.
CONSTANCE: Yes. Similarly, there are questions of how to distribute the money, but you already know about that.
NAOFUMI purses his lips and nods. He speaks a bit louder to include REN in the conversation.
NAOFUMI: Got it. So are we just waiting for Melty?
DUCHESS LEURIA turns towards NAOFUMI and sneers at him.
DUCHESS LEURIA: That would be her royal highness to you, so-called Sir Shield. You have no right to call a member of the royal family as if she is a tavern wench. But I suppose I shouldn’t expect etiquette of your kind.
NAOFUMI blinks and opens his mouth to respond, but before he has a chance to do so MELTY comes into the room from her office carrying a stack of documents. A formally dressed SCRIBE follows after her, carrying more papers.
MELTY: He has the right to call me by my name because I have granted it to him in return for saving my life. Sir Naofumi has already decided where he stands when it comes to the Crown - I suggest you do the same, Lady Maoilrian.
DUCHESS LEURIA folds her hands on her chest. DUKE MELEK laughs at her.
DUKE MELEK: She got you good there, Leuria.
DUCHESS LEURIA: I had no way of knowing about that arrangement, your royal highness. I simply wanted to make sure our guests observe proper decorum.
MELTY sits down at the head of the table. SCRIBE sits down at her right handside.
MELTY: And now you have. Excellent, let’s not waste any more of our time - call to order!
The conversations around the table quiet down. REN sits down on a chair next to DUKE MELEK. MELTY opens her folder.
MELTY: Second meeting of the Grand Council on the topic of establishing a Wave defense fund is hereby in order. Hopefully today we will manage to avoid the shouting - I am looking at you, Lord Relen. Meeting is chaired by her royal highness Melty Q. Melromarc, representing Mirellia Q. Melromarc in absentia. Meeting minutes taken by scribe Perrek, no title. Besides aforementioned, in attendance are the dukes of all the twelve duchies of Melromarc, as well as Amaki Ren, the Sword Hero, Kawasumi Itsuki, the Bow Hero, Naofumi Iwatani, the Shield Hero, as well as Lady Fredalia, assistant to the Shield Hero.
CONSTANCE leans over to NAOFUMI and whispers to him.
CONSTANCE: She is saying this all out loud so that the scribe could write it into the meeting minutes, for later reference.
NAOFUMI rolls his eyes.
NAOFUMI: I’ve read Rusty’s rules of order, I know how this works.
CONSTANCE: Truly? Why, I didn’t know you could read. We learn something new every day, I suppose.
MELTY continues, not hearing their quiet whispering.
MELTY: For the sake of clarification for all our guests from other worlds, all present - excepting the help, of course - have the right of voice, but only the twelve dukes have the right of vote. This means anyone may propose motions, but only the dukes may vote on them. I hope everyone had time to review today’s agenda? Yes? Excellent. Now let us proceed with old business -
NAOFUMI raises his hand.
NAOFUMI: Point of information, if I may?
MELTY waves to NAOFUMI to continue. Various DUKES look at him. NAOFUMI stands up and shuffles through his papers.
NAOFUMI: I am afraid I haven’t had an opportunity to take part in yesterday’s meeting, and only had so long to review the minutes. There was this small point here that I liked to clarify, it’s really a trifle -
MELTY: Get to the point.
NAOFUMI finds the paper he needs and carefully goes through it with his finger.
NAOFUMI: Right. Here in section 3, subsection B of the proposed agreement, when the talk is about how the money from the fund is going to be distributed across the duchies. It says “shall be apportioned ... by adding to the whole number of free persons three fifths of all other persons”.
NAOFUMI looks up from his papers.
NAOFUMI: That would be slaves, right? On which basis was that number reached?
Various DUKES groan.
DUKE MELEK [WHISPERING]: Oh Lord, you sure picked a question to start out on.
MELTY: Are you proposing an amendment?
NAOFUMI spreads his arms in an apologetic gesture.
NAOFUMI: Not at this time. It’s just that a good half of the minutes seem to be about this one point, and honestly, I couldn’t make heads or tails of the arguments. A summary would be appreciated.
ITSUKI [WHISPERING]: Arguments, he calls them.
MELTY sighs and throws an annoyed glance at NAOFUMI.
MELTY: I somehow doubt that this isn’t just an extensive preamble to introducing an amendment, but very well. The number was arrived at after - extensive - argumentation at the table, which we are, I hope, not going to reopen, and is a result of compromise. I believe that Lord Relen pushed for it to be lower, while Lady Maoilrian pushed for it to be higher. Is there anything in particular that confuses you about it?
NAOFUMI: Well frankly, why it isn’t zero. Correct me if I am wrong, but I do believe that slaves are considered to be property, yes? I am quite confused why a count of a particular type of property is added to the number of people.
REN throws a warning glare at NAOFUMI. DUCHESS LEURIA raises her hand.
DUCHESS LEURIA: May I address the question to the chair?
MELTY: Go ahead.
DUCHESS LEURIA turns towards NAOFUMI, with a slight sneer on her face.
DUCHESS LEURIA: You may not believe this, Sir Hero, but resources have to be spent to protect the slaves as much as all other people. Defense budget must be appointed on the basis of what is to be protected - otherwise the duchies would have no incentive to defend the slaves in the event of a Wave. Surely the logic would be clear to someone who fraternizes with the slaves so much?
NAOFUMI sighs theatrically.
NAOFUMI: Well that’s no argument at all. The same logic would apply to all other forms of cattle. Should the duchy of Melromarc ask for the number of filofials on their territory to be added in? Resources have to be spent on their protection too. How about Noroweg - I believe they have a prolific whale oil industry, should they count the whales in their waters? Let us not pretend these additional resources will be spent on protecting the slaves.
NAOFUMI shakes his head.
NAOFUMI: No, to me this seems like a cynical grab for power and funding by the northern duchies.
Several DUKES begin loudly speaking at once. REN motions to NAOFUMI by drawing a finger over his throat. MELTY pulls out a gabel and bangs it on the table to shut them up.
MELTY: Order!
MELTY glares daggers at NAOFUMI.
MELTY: You are out of line.
DUKE MELEK: Out of line but he is right.
MELTY glares at DUKE MELEK too.
MELTY: This is neither the time nor the place to argue over motivations.
MELTY glances back at NAOFUMI.
MELTY: I believe that answers the question? May we proceed?
NAOFUMI: Well, now that it has been clarified, I would like to make a motion to amend section 3 subsection B by replacing the words “adding to” with “subtracting from”.
ITSUKI: Seconded.
DUKES start shouting again. REN covers his face. ITSUKI chuckles. MELTY takes out the gavel to bring them to order.
DUCHESS LEURIA: Point of order, your royal highness?
MELTY: Granted.
DUCHESS LEURIA: I’d like to request Sir Shield Hero to be removed from the chambers for being disruptive to the proceedings.
NAOFUMI folds his hands. ITSUKI chuckles. MELTY sighs.
MELTY: Denied, for now. Naofumi, your reasoning for the amendment?
NAOFUMI: Northern duchies already have a hypertrophied system of armed “slave patrols”, which they can easily repurpose for defense against the Waves. The more slaves a duchy has, the more resources they already expend on arming and training these people. Affording them even more resources would be nothing more than double-dipping: subtracting the number of slaves is thus only appropriate.
Murmurs pass through the DUKES. DUKE MELEK rubs his chin.
DUKE MELEK: You know, I thought he was only making a joke, but the boy’s got a point. We haven’t considered this angle yesterday, I think we should debate it.
DUCHESS LEURIA: This is nonsensical. If we repurpose the slave patrols, who would keep the slaves in check?
NAOFUMI shrugs.
NAOFUMI: That sounds like a personal problem to me. I don’t see why other duchies have to concern themselves with the details of how you conduct your business.
DUCHESS LEURIA: What was it you said before? A cynical grab for power? This is simply cynically penalizing the northern duchies for our leading position in agriculture, nothing more.
NAOFUMI shrugs again.
NAOFUMI: If you want more money, you can always free the slaves. Simple as that.
Several DUKES laugh.
DUCHESS LEURIA: Motion to bring this to a vote?
Several DUKES join DUCHESS LEURIA, but the motion to bring the amendment to a vote fails, and debate continues. NAOFUMI leans back and closes his eyes for a short nap.
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SCENE: Early morning. RAPHTALIA and NAOFUMI stand on a hill overlooking a plantation. The hill is covered by an apple orchard, and they are leaning against one of the trees.
NARRATOR: Several days have passed!
RAPHTALIA: Yet another plantation to scout. Well, wish me luck.
NAOFUMI: Good luck. I’ll move some more people into Shieldfrieden in the meantime. We are almost done with the ones we rescued from Idoru.
NAOFUMI takes out a notebook, consults it, and then raises his shield. Nothing happens.
SYSTEM MESSAGE: Fast travel not allowed to this location.
NAOFUMI frowns.
RAPHTALIA: You didn’t go anywhere.
NAOFUMI: Something bad happened - my teleportation is blocked. Stay here, I’ll see if I can find out why.
----------------------------------------
SCENE: Evening. NAOFUMI enters MELTY’s office with RAPHTALIA and FILO in tow. MELTY is leaning on the wall next to the window, talking to FULANA JEN. CONSTANCE comes to meet them at the door, and NAOFUMI pulls her aside.
NAOFUMI [WHISPERING]: We’ve got a problem. I can’t teleport into Little Ermarc. Closest I can get is a town half a day away.
CONSTANCE frowns.
CONSTANCE [WHISPERING]: Any idea on what happened?
NAOFUMI shrugs.
NAOFUMI: With our luck, something bad. I asked in that closest town - they haven’t seen any travelers from that direction in a week. With how the roads are these days, that hasn’t raised any alarms yet, but it is a part of the picture.
CONSTANCE’s frown deepens.
CONSTANCE: Let’s talk about this later. First, Melty wanted to ask you something.
Soon MELTY finishes her conversation with FULANA JEN, and turns to NAOFUMI and the group. She seems somewhat frazzled.
MELTY: Thank you for waiting. I am afraid that I have to ask for your favor once again. Please, take some seats.
MELTY walks over to the window and leans on the windowsill, looking out. NAOFUMI and the group take some seats.
MELTY: My sister is missing. Today was supposed to be her marriage, and yet she is nowhere to be found.
CONSTANCE: I heard that it was re-scheduled for next week.
MELTY: That was my initiative. I couldn’t very well come out and say that Myne is not here.
MELTY turns around.
MELTY: She told me that she and the Spear Hero were going to tour some places in northern Melromarc they have visited before. She was supposed to be back yesterday. Something must have happened, and I’d like you to try and find her.
CONSTANCE frowns.
CONSTANCE: With all due respect, Melty, there is a much simpler explanation for why she didn’t return. She has led a coup and was surprised by your timely move - she is either gathering forces away from the capital, or has fled the country before you had a chance to retaliate.
MELTY shakes her head.
MELTY: I know my sister. She was honest when she said she would be back.
CONSTANCE: It’s not uncommon for family members to have false perceptions of each other. She has every incentive to lie to you.
MELTY: No. She wouldn’t do that.
NAOFUMI: You said something similar about the assassination.
MELTY: Because she didn’t do that either!
NAOFUMI snorts.
NAOFUMI: Be honest to yourself. Who else would do it?
CONSTANCE rubs her face with one hand and gestures with another.
CONSTANCE: Well, playing the Shield’s advocate, it’s not impossible for someone else to do it.
NAOFUMI looks at CONSTANCE weirdly. She notices his glance.
CONSTANCE: What? It’s a saying. In any case… we can imagine that Myne must have been working with a group of close confederates. Then it’s possible that she told them she would be leaving the city on the day of the assassination, and, after she left, one of these confederates could have ordered the assassination without her knowledge. They could have - perhaps - convinced the Shadows that the order was coming from Myne herself. In fact, if Myne was wavering in her ambitions, then doing this would have completely chained her to the coup.
MELTY smiles and motions to CONSTANCE.
MELTY: Well, there you go. That’s what must have happened.
CONSTANCE sighs.
CONSTANCE: Except no, it didn’t. The simplest explanation is that Myne ordered the coup herself - there is no need to overcomplicate it.
FULANA JEN: I concur, your royal highness.
CONSTANCE: I don’t suppose you got anything from the surviving Shadows?
FULANA JEN shakes her head.
FULANA JEN: The leaders of the conspiracy died in the fighting. You shot one of them in the head, in fact. We caught some of the survivors, but they didn’t know squat.
CONSTANCE nods. MELTY’s lip twitches in annoyance.
MELTY: I told you, Myne wouldn’t do this.
RAPHTALIA folds her arms on her chest.
RAPHTALIA: Why are you so sure? Didn’t you spend most of your life in Faubrey? How can you be so certain of her personality?
MELTY folds her arms on her chest in a stare-off.
MELTY: She visited me plenty of times, and I came to Melromarc plenty of times, under a false name. We’ve spent enough time together that I know her.
RAPHTALIA: Hm. Not convincing, honestly.
MELTY sighs in exasperation.
MELTY: Whatever. I am right, but this doesn’t matter - even if she did the coup, you would still want to find her, correct? So that’s what I am asking you to do. Spend the next couple days going through the towns and villages in the north - maybe you will find someone who saw them.
NAOFUMI frowns.
NAOFUMI: Motoyasu can teleport just as easily as I can. They can be anywhere at all without leaving any traces of their travels - the only chance we stumble into them is if we visit the exact same spot they’ve been to.
MELTY nods, and picks up a piece of paper from her desk. She walks around her table and hands it to NAOFUMI.
MELTY: I know the chance is slim, but I have to do something. I would never forgive myself if my sister died because I wouldn’t lift a finger to save her. This is a list of places where I think she might be - estates of old friends, places she mentioned before she left, or just the ones I think could be worthwhile to check out. Will you do this for me?
NAOFUMI looks at the paper, puts it in his pocket, then shares a look with CONSTANCE.
NAOFUMI: Actually, we are going to be preoccupied in the next couple of days. In fact, Ren would probably need to take over as your guard for that time.
MELTY frowns.
MELTY: Preoccupied? With what, precisely?
NAOFUMI: It’s a private matter.
MELTY’s lip jerks in annoyance.
MELTY: Well can it wait? A couple days, a week? My sister may be in danger as we speak.
NAOFUMI is silent for a bit.
NAOFUMI: It concerns a friend of ours, who is also in danger.
RAPHTALIA shares a meaningful look with CONSTANCE. MELTY leans on her table.
MELTY: Convenient bloody timing, people facing danger all around. And what, getting them out of danger will take a couple days? I’ve seen you guys fight - teleport in, kill everybody, teleport out with your friend, you should be done in ten minutes tops. Or am I missing something?
NAOFUMI: It’s not that simple.
MELTY: Well bloody well clarify it then. Why are you being evasive?
NAOFUMI sighs.
NAOFUMI: We can’t teleport in, that is the problem. The closest I’ve been able to get is half a day away, so we will need to travel from there. That’s why we think they are in danger - teleportation doesn’t work when there are enemies nearby.
MELTY stares at NAOFUMI strangely.
MELTY: Are they in northern Melromarc?
NAOFUMI: Yes.
MELTY claps her hands together.
MELTY: Excellent. Then I will go with you, help you handle this friend problem - if we do it together, it would all go much faster.
RAPHTALIA crosses his arms.
RAPHTALIA: What? No, you won’t.
MELTY narrows her eyes at her.
MELTY: Why not?
RAPHTALIA responds in kind.
You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.
RAPHTALIA: Because it’s our friend, not yours?
MELTY: So? They would not combust into flames from my presence, I assure you.
RAPHTALIA: This has nothing to do with you. Why the fuck would we bring you with us?
MELTY gesticulates wildly.
MELTY: Nonsense, of course it has to do with me. My sister is missing while being accompanied by the Spear Hero, and then your teleportation mysteriously fails? I doubt this is a coincidence. Odds are, that’s where she is, and the reason she is missing is that the Spear Hero can’t teleport her out.
CONSTANCE makes a vague nod conceding the point. NAOFUMI frowns.
NAOFUMI: You can’t just follow our party into combat just because you want to. We already told you why we won't bring you to the Waves -
MELTY interrupts NAOFUMI.
MELTY: If there is combat, then that is a perfect reason to bring me with you. You have no dedicated mage - I would be filling a key strategic role in your party composition. Besides, combat? That is just a guess on your part. It is just as likely that the problem is magical in nature, and I am probably the single most qualified expert on magic in the entire bloody country.
RAPHTALIA snorts.
RAPHTALIA: So? The answer is still no.
MELTY sighs in exasperation.
MELTY: This is idiotic. If there is a fight, then you would want a mage with you. If novel magic is involved, then you would want a magic expert. And if the problem is political in nature, then there is nobody better served to help than the current ruler of the country. Regardless of the nature of the problem, I would be helpful. Yet you refuse. Why? Have I not freed every slave in the palace, damaging my already weak relationship with nobility? Have I not sent precious agents to track down Raphtalia's parents? Did I not give you the funding and resources you wanted? What do you want me to do to prove that I am not going to stab you in the back? This is stupidity of the highest caliber -
MELTY stops herself and narrows her eyes suspiciously.
MELTY: Except...none of you are stupid. No, you are actually quite smart.
MELTY looks between NAOFUMI, CONSTANCE and RAPHTALIA. FILO is poking earwax out of her ears.
MELTY: No, if the problem was trust, you would have seen sense. That means it is something else. You don’t want me there…because you don’t want me to meet your friend?
MELTY paces around the room, keeping her eyes on them.
MELTY: Because…you expect me to react badly if I were to meet them? And you wanted to hide this from me?
MELTY stops in front of her desk.
MELTY: What do I actually know about you?
NAOFUMI: What are you talking about?
MELTY: You cloak your intentions, but if there is one thing I am sure of, it is that you want to help people. You really want to help people. That is why you hate slavery with a passion - no way you were lying back then. And I know that you -
MELTY points at CONSTANCE.
MELTY: Are very, very knowledgeable about politics. Given your goals, skills and attitudes, you must have been trying to build a movement or a coalition of some sort… Yet I haven’t heard of you doing so. In fact, as far as I can tell - and as far as the dukes I talked to know - you are like a ghost, no trace, no sign, nothing.
MELTY narrows her eyes at CONSTANCE.
MELTY: I thought “Fredalia” was a pseudonym, but perhaps I was wrong? That is the sort of name a peasant might have…or a demihuman. You are allied with Shieldfrieden, is that it? Is that your secret?
CONSTANCE is supporting her head with one hand, waiting for MELTY to finish with a slight frown. She slowly opens her mouth.
CONSTANCE: I suppose it’s a theory, but what exactly do you base this on? Raph being a bit too obstinate about your inclusion?
MELTY: I base this on reasoning.
CONSTANCE: So that’s a yes then. You realize who you are talking about, right? Raph is perhaps the second most obstinate person that I know of.
RAPHTALIA: Hey!
NAOFUMI: Yeah, she is the one who dragged me to that party that led to a duel.
RAPHTALIA crosses her arms and pouts.
RAPHTALIA: I so didn’t drag you.
NAOFUMI: Not how I remember it.
MELTY: Cute performance, but I don’t buy it.
MELTY tries to quietly stare down three people at once. Finally, she slowly shakes her head.
MELTY: No, that can’t be it. You are allied with them - it would be stupid not to, in your position - but that isn’t your real secret. You know my mother had been trying to build an international coalition to fight the Waves, and you must surely suspect I couldn’t care less if you get funding from Shieldfrieden. Good on you, really, the more resources put against the Waves the better. Your real secret is something else. But what?
MELTY nods at NAOFUMI.
MELTY: Well? Answer me!
NAOFUMI sighs and gets up.
NAOFUMI: Alright, I can see that you are intent on spinning this little fantasy of yours. Perhaps you will be more reasonable when we return.
MELTY scowls at him with fire in her eyes.
MELTY: You do not want to leave me to think about this alone.
NAOFUMI: Yeah? Why not?
MELTY’s scowl deepens.
MELTY: Because whatever it is you aren’t saying, you clearly think that it is so extreme that even despite my extremely open mind, my willingness to tolerate and consider almost any idea, you still cannot say it. There are only two things I can think of right now that would fit that pattern. One, you have kidnapped Myne yourself - but I do not see why you would have bothered. Or two… you are planning a rebellion.
MELTY nods to NAOFUMI again.
MELTY: Go ahead, leave without explaining yourself - but then I might as well treat you as if you have confessed to being my mortal enemy.
CONSTANCE: Melty -
MELTY snaps her head to CONSTANCE and points at her.
MELTY: Shut your mouth! Only Naofumi speaks. I am tired of you playing off each other to confuse me.
NAOFUMI sighs, and spreads his hands in an apologetic gesture. CONSTANCE closes her mouth and raises her gaze to the ceiling, dissociating.
NAOFUMI: Fine, I admit it. You are right, we are allied with Shieldfrieden. They supply us with guns, and we help some escaped slaves reach freedom safer. Seeing how that is extremely illegal, we would have preferred for you to not know.
MELTY narrows her eyes further.
MELTY: That’s a lie. I already said this cannot be your true secret. Every bloody time you do this. You couch your thoughts in many layers of lies, then when someone strips one layer you pretend that is the final one. You did this with slavery - even when we had the debate, you didn’t fully open up until the very end.
NAOFUMI: Seriously? I admit to doing a massive amount of crime, and that’s not good enough for you?
MELTY: No.
NAOFUMI exclaims with his hands.
NAOFUMI: Well what the hell else do you want me to tell you? That’s all there is.
MELTY stares NAOFUMI down with narrowed eyes.
MELTY: Rebellion is the only thing that would make sense, and yet it makes no sense at all. There is no other Queen you could put in my place that would help you more. And yet… Three days ago, you said we didn’t have time to debate rulership. I let it go then, but perhaps I shouldn’t have. That is the crux, is it not? You have another bizarre, alien idea - something similar to slavery abolition, except concerning our rulership.
MELTY nods at NAOFUMI.
MELTY: Answer me. What do you truly think of the Queen?
NAOFUMI sighs.
NAOFUMI: Seriously? I’ve never even met the Queen.
MELTY: Stop deflecting and answer the real question. What are your ideas about rulership? What did you not want me to know?
NAOFUMI crosses his arms.
NAOFUMI: Sure, do you have five hours for a lecture on political theory? I for one, do not. Like I said, our friend is in danger.
MELTY: Then summarize quickly. Or feel free to leave - but I already said what I would do then.
MELTY points at the door. NAOFUMI raises an eyebrow at MELTY.
NAOFUMI: You would sacrifice our alliance against the Waves because of an intellectual curiosity?
MELTY scowls again, fire in her eyes growing cold.
MELTY: You would sacrifice it! I told you - I am ready to put everything on the line to protect the world, to help the people. And yet you lie and deceive and conceal your ideas. How can I trust you with anything whatsoever? I might as well blow up our alliance now, before you’ve had time to deal more damage. What is it that you think is so dangerous that you refuse to say it? It must be bloody important to you, probably even more so than slavery. Well? Let’s see it - drag it into the light, and there is a chance we might resolve things peacefully. If not, I can only assume that whatever it is you conceal, whatever it is you are planning, is so much worse than the Waves, that I must abandon everything and deal exclusively with you.
MELTY stares NAOFUMI down. NAOFUMI’s lip is twitching in anger.
NAOFUMI: Oh you want to know, do you?
MELTY: I want to know everything.
NAOFUMI: Fine! The truth is that you and your kind are nothing but robbers.
MELTY exclaims with her hands. FULANA JEN comes closer to MELTY.
MELTY: There we go! Finally, some honesty!
NAOFUMI: You say you want to help the people? Bullshit you do. You stole this country, this land with all the riches on it from the people, and you keep stealing from every single person within it every single day of your rule.
MELTY leans forwards.
MELTY: Stole the country? My family has ruled it for generations. There is nobody else with a remotely legitimate claim!
NAOFUMI scoffs. In the back, RAPHTALIA is smiling playfully at FULANA JEN.
NAOFUMI: Oh please. I can write on a piece of paper that I own this country, but that won’t make it so. All that I could do with it is to wipe my own ass. Even if I were to convince enough armed guys to keep me in power, that will simply make me the gandest highway robber of the century - which is what you are. You keep your so-called “rule” with nothing but a veiled threat of force and you use it for the exclusive purpose of enriching yourself and your family.
FULANA JEN steps over to MELTY and whispers in her ear.
FULANA JEN [WHISPERING]: Your royal highness, we have to go right now.
MELTY glances at FULANA JEN in confusion.
MELTY: What are you talking about?
FULANA JEN tries to communicate with MELTY through pure glance alone.
FULANA JEN: It is not safe.
MELTY scowls.
MELTY: Oh please, know your station. Do you think I am too stupid to realize where I am and what I am doing? I need the bastard angry enough to tell me what the fuck he is thinking, otherwise he clamps down and stays quiet. This question is getting resolved today, before it leads to more problems.
MELTY glares at NAOFUMI.
MELTY: Besides, he isn’t the type to kill in anger. And if he wanted me dead, I’d have been dead ten times over.
FILO: Eh. You can only be dead once.
MELTY throws an annoyed glance at FILO, but doesn’t comment. Instead, she whistles and points behind herself to FULANA JEN.
MELTY: Go away, let me work.
MELTY turns back to NAOFUMI, frowning in confusion. NAOFUMI is waiting for her to respond, his hands folded on his chest.
MELTY: Back to you. What were you talking about? Every ruler is kept in power by force, at the end of the day. That’s how the social construct works, you know this. That doesn’t make it theft.
NAOFUMI: Bullshit it does. If you hold onto power by force and nothing else, then you are a robber, it is as simple as that. And as a monarch, that’s all you will ever have. Even if no person ever speaks out against your rule, you will remain a robber. Even if you rule over a thousand kingdoms for a thousand years, and none speak out against you, you will remain a robber! That is what it means to be a monarch.
MELTY squints at NAOFUMI.
MELTY: So what is your solution? Let nobody have power, destroy all kingdoms that are larger than one household? Not allow even a simple village to form? Because wherever there is a group of people, there will be “monarchs” of a sort.
NAOFUMI touches his temples with his hands.
NAOFUMI: Have you ever heard of consent? You want to lead a group of people, even one as large as a country? Great! The barest fucking minimum is asking them wherever they want you to lead at all without putting a knife to their neck. That, at least, will get you to the point where I might even consider wherever your rule is justified - until then, it is not.
MELTY: Well that’s great then, because our subjects love us.
NAOFUMI: What proof do you have of that?
MELTY: Proof? I can walk down the street and ask people! Half of them will prostrate themselves as soon as they hear who I am.
NAOFUMI: This isn’t proof, and if your studies have taught you anything then you should realize why. For one, you would be walking down one street in the capital of a country of millions. The opinions of those you can personally meet mean nothing among the oceans of those you don’t. For another, you can see them, and they know that if they do not kiss your boots, you may retaliate! Even if you promise not to - your words mean nothing compared to the danger they face if you lie. The only way to prove their attitudes is by asking all of them, anonymously, in a way that cannot be traced back to them.
MELTY raises an eyebrow and leans back.
MELTY: What, all of them? In the entire country?
NAOFUMI: At a bare minimum, yes.
MELTY: That is ridiculous. No government has that much administrative capacity.
NAOFUMI scoffs.
NAOFUMI: Pretty much every government back on my world has been managing to do that, repeatedly, once every several years, for a century or longer. You could manage it too, if the will was there.
MELTY frowns and searches NAOFUMI’s face for a while.
MELTY: You aren’t lying, even though it sounds fantastical. And that is what you need to consider a ruler to not be a robber?
NAOFUMI laughs.
NAOFUMI: No. That only gets you in the running. I can stand here for hours reciting different electoral and political systems, as well as the million ways that they can be used to rob and abuse the population. But a fucking monarchy would not even be considered. You want a single ruler with a bare modicum of actual legitimacy? A national vote, where the voters can select from among several meaningfully different options - that’s how you do it.
NAOFUMI leans forwards.
NAOFUMI: But then you’d be called a president, and not a queen.
MELTY hums.
MELTY: I see. But that doesn’t really explain anything, does it? So what if I am a robber? Aside from a sketchy morality judgment - which is entirely subjective - what does it matter? If I help my subjects as a robber, would that not be a good thing? You said that I rule to enrich myself - but that is not my intention. That would make your entire precipice fall apart at the seams.
NAOFUMI scoffs.
NAOFUMI: Yeah right, as if I haven’t heard this song and dance before. There is a reason why you have a castle and your subjects do not - that wealth was sucked out of their veins and pumped straight into yours. At the end of the day, after all the speeches of helping the people and ruling justly are over, you will always fall back on the things that benefit you - that is to say, on robbing people more. You think I talk of robbery on merely moral grounds? No. That sort of robbery is inseparable from the regular, monetary robbery that your kind inevitably engages in.
MELTY folds her hands.
MELTY: No law of God or man forces me to do so. I have already freed the slaves in the palace - do you think I cannot hold back from as you say, robbing my people?
RAPHTALIA snorts.
RAPHTALIA: Freed, she says. Almost all of them still work at the palace, don’t they?
MELTY: So? They get paid a salary, the same as other servants. If I fired them, where would they go? Melromarc is not exactly friendly to demihumans.
RAPHTALIA: Pretty words, yet you still benefit from their labor. And where does the money you pay them come from? Taxes you levy on the population to support your lavish lifestyle. You now have a perfect justification to never reduce the scope of your theft - after all, where would all those demihumans go without you?
NAOFUMI: Exactly. And even if by the grace of some godling you were to sacrifice your personal wealth and rule for the benefit of your subjects - though I do not know how, since the nobility will unseat you immediately if they thought you deviated too much from the overall robbing culture - then the king or queen to come after you will steal it all right back. Given your position of power over your subjects, stealing is the natural thing to do - you would have to fight tooth and nail against your human nature and against every person around you to avoid doing so. That is why monarchy is unjustifiable.
MELTY: I am hearing a whole lot of “maybe” and “usually” and “tends to” but not “You, Melty, will be forced to do this”. Nothing that you’ve said proved at all that I could not use my wealth and power to benefit my subjects, and that means that nothing you have said should be a barrier to our cooperation.
NAOFUMI boggles at MELTY.
NAOFUMI: Your existence as a monarch is inherently abusive towards your entire population, and you say this isn’t a barrier to cooperation?
MELTY shakes her head.
MELTY: Do you even listen to your own arguments? Even if I were to take them as is - and frankly, there are plenty of holes to poke at - it is only potentially abusive. A man with a sword is potentially abusive towards the one without, but this does not mean the two could not work together, does it?
NAOFUMI frowns.
NAOFUMI: Holes? What holes?
MELTY fixes her hair.
MELTY: Well, for one, a monarch is ordained by God. You cannot simply remove them from the country, regardless of your feelings on the matter, lest it fall into chaos.
NAOFUMI scowls.
NAOFUMI: If your so-called God tells you to rule with an iron fist, if he tells the oppressed to swallow their tears because that is the “natural order”, if he will smite you for trying to make your country better for the people who live within it - then the only thing left to us is to break into Heaven and strangle him with his own fucking entrails!
MELTY steps back.
MELTY: Well. I can see why you are called the Devil of the Shield.
NAOFUMI exclaims with his hands.
NAOFUMI: Oh what, am I being too bizarre for your tastes? I thought you wanted to help people! If your God wants to hurt them by keeping a monarch around, then the only just cause of action is to fight against him to the last, or die trying. Anything else is rank cowardice.
MELTY: I am sure everyone in Melromarc appreciates you signing them up for a crusade against Heaven without their knowledge, but no, what I meant was that the people - nobility and peasantry alike - expect to have a monarch in charge. Our culture, government, international relations - it all depends on a monarch, and you cannot simply change that overnight.
NAOFUMI: So the culture would need to change - it is a much faster process than the ruling class likes to claim. So what?
MELTY: So what? You are talking about a massive change, all because you dislike how much money the royal family has? Forget culture - you said the only system you would consider just depends on the vote of everyone in the country? At a wild guess, you would need hundreds of thousands of civil officials who do nothing else in order to count these votes! I don’t think that many even exist right now - do you have a magic hat I can pull them out of? And yet you are saying this is the bare minimum? Why don’t you ask me to grow wings and learn to fly like a bird while you are at it!
NAOFUMI: You don’t need a complex education to count votes. But frankly, I fail to see how that’s my problem. You are supposed to be a ruler, solving problems is kind of your job - so solve it. Or admit that you don’t actually care about helping people.
MELTY facepalms.
MELTY: This is a ridiculous standard. Are you saying there is no way for a monarch to help people, in your definition of the term?
NAOFUMI: Not really, no.
MELTY squints at NAOFUMI.
MELTY: What, really? In your world, there wasn’t a single political theory that depended on a monarch, and yet was compatible with your ideas for helping people? Not a single one?
NAOFUMI opens his mouth to respond, but pauses for a brief moment. MELTY narrows her eyes further at his pause.
NAOFUMI: No.
MELTY: You paused. You are hiding something again.
NAOFUMI crosses his arms.
NAOFUMI: No, there was no serious monarchist ideology that sought to systematically help people. Neither could there be.
MELTY: No serious ideology? What about unserious ideology then?
NAOFUMI scoffs.
NAOFUMI: On a pure technicality, there exists anarcho-monarchism. It is the idea that society should be organized to flatten the social classes and remove ruling hierarchies, with a ceremonial monarch in place to serve as a cultural center. But it isn’t a real ideology - it is a joke, a refuge of those who understand literally nothing about politics, something a child comes up with out of a pure, unadulterated sense of contrarianism -
MELTY draws herself up. NAOFUMI stops himself.
MELTY: Well, that is quite close-minded of you, Naofumi.
NAOFUMI clutches his head.
NAOFUMI: You cannot be serious.
MELTY: Come back to me when you find a Hat of Civil Servants. Furthermore - you said it yourself - how do you know your ideas are the right ones unless you test them? Perhaps anarcho-monarchism will be the right path after all.
NAOFUMI: Melty, this is idiotic.
MELTY: Ah, as always resorting to insults when you have no facts to base your arguments on. Anarcho-monarchism is the cutting edge in ideology! It preserves important cultural products of monarchy while addressing its structural problems. Perhaps in time you will see its wisdom too.
NAOFUMI: Wisdom? What wisdom? You have no answer to the inherent corruptibility of the system, or to how it perpetuates itself across generational lines!
MELTY shrugs.
MELTY: Here is my answer: I will simply choose to do good things instead of bad things. I know, it’s a complicated concept. As for what my successors would do - well, perhaps I would be the last of my line, and we could try this system of “presidents” afterwards.
NAOFUMI scowls and pokes MELTY in her chest.
NAOFUMI: Is this a joke to you? Be the last of your line - please. I am not a historian like Ren, but I do know a couple things about the past of my world. I know that there were some monarchs on whom the monarchy ended. And out of all of them, not a single fucking one did it voluntarily, without a gun being put to their head. What makes you think you would be any different?
MELTY slaps NAOFUMI’s hand away.
MELTY: The same thing that made me think I could figure out the secrets of magic where the others have failed. Do you truly think you can’t do anything unless someone else already did it before you? Please, have a modicum of actual fucking ambition.
MELTY claps her hands.
MELTY: Well, now that we have clarified this, why don’t we deal with the actual problem of rescuing my sister?
CONSTANCE raises her head again and supports it with her hand. She and NAOFUMI look at MELTY in confusion.
CONSTANCE: You still want to travel with us, your royal highness?
MELTY shrugs, and picks up a paper, quickly writing something on it.
MELTY: Why not? We are not actually opposed, best as I can tell.
CONSTANCE raises an eyebrow.
CONSTANCE: Really? You could have fooled me.
FULANA JEN: I do not believe this is wise, your royal highness.
MELTY snorts, and leaves the paper on her desk, prominently in the middle. FULANA glances at the writing supplies, then at the others.
MELTY: Oh please, what are they going to do? Kill me? If they do, mother would hunt them to the ends of the earth. There would need to be someone to blame, and it’s not like she would pick Myne, her only remaining heir. People know we travel together - if I vanish, Naofumi would be the first in a line of suspects. Regardless of their opinions, keeping me safe is their only choice.
RAPHTALIA: Unless we start a rebellion. Then it won’t matter.
MELTY waves her off.
MELTY: If you could do that, I’d already be dead. I have no illusions that Fredalia cherishes our talks above sheer political expediency.
CONSTANCE: Your words wound me, your royal highness.
MELTY: You’ll get over it. Now, should we get going?
MELTY gets up, picks up a bag and heads towards the doors.
CONSTANCE: Well, if you truly wish to do this, then we might as well bring Fulana with us. I am sure you would feel safer with someone from your camp at your back, and we still have one spot free in the party.
FILO: Hey, I am not carrying five bloody people!
NAOFUMI: We can bring a filofial or two along - we’ve tested it with Raph earlier today, when planning our expedition. They count as possessions of their owners.
FILO grumbles but quiets down. MELTY turns around and motions to FULANA JEN.
MELTY: Good idea. Well, come along.
FULANA JEN: Your highness -
MELTY: Oh for the love of, I didn’t ask for more backtalk. Come!
The group files out of the office.
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DRAMATIS PERSONAE
KAWASUMI ITSUKI, THE BOW HERO. One of the socialists. Leninist.
AMAKI REN, THE SWORD HERO. Liberal. Avoids conflict.
NAOFUMI IWATANI, THE SHIELD HERO. One of the socialists. Protagonist. Radical anti-monarchist.
RAPHTALIA. One of the socialists. Obstinate about not being obstinate.
CONSTANCE VON MARUKIEVICH / FREDALIA. Secretly demihuman. Knows stuff about politics.
FILO. Also present.
PRINCESS MELTY Q. MELROMAC. First heir to the throne of Melromarc. Novice anarcho-monarchist.
FULANA JEN, SHADOW. Head of MELTY’s SHADOWs. Secret service.
DUCHESS LEURIA. Slaver. Head of the coalition of the northern states.
DUKE MELEK. Head of the coalition of the southern states.