SCENE: Fields of tall grass next to the town. NAOFUMI is attempting to fight an orange flying enemy shaped like a basketball. The ball tries to fly into him, teeth wide, and NAOFUMI’s shield hand automatically moves to intercept it. He then punches the ball, causing it to fly back, and the process repeats. After several minutes of punching, the ball finally bursts into fragments, and NAOFUMI flops on the ground, exhausted.
NAOFUMI: Okay. Fine. Yeah.
NAOFUMI: Christ, that was terrible. I can’t do this for months at a time.
NAOFUMI: Okay, what did we learn.
NAOFUMI opens his status menu.
[https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/n7fHCqtQa6uZmi88hMW-jRMrlMZqZRR3LiCyev6tgPxzhRiPVhrcNBTaZl9Bm4u30NXDTrrYW0MfV4GkNzlaR8qyHCp58HtaF1RZOR3fV_obwKK1GMnmTn0YBT2kaGy3SJgIb2FlaC5-kzBGgIrGfALqmfd_Nhzrvk2r2YiS7mkGgJwTunb5HQNWsg]
NAOFUMI: I need 20 experience points to level up. Each blob gives me a whooping one point. So theoretically, that’s 20 blobs to level up. The problem is the fucking attack stat, which for me, is 1.
NAOFUMI: I guess low attack makes sense for a shield. The help menu gives no information about how the mechanics of the game actually work, but I can make some educated guesses. I can see the health of the blobs, and I deal one damage per hit. This can mean two things: one, damage is directly equal to the attack stat; or two, 1 damage is the minimum you can deal on the attack, rounded up.
NAOFUMI sighs, and rubs his eyes.
NAOFUMI: But that’s per hit, and I hit maybe, what, one attack out of ten? Twenty? The shield clearly gives me instincts for the defense - thank god for that - but it does nothing for attack. Once again, it makes sense, but that doesn’t help me any. If I assume that mechanics are also responsible for the chance of hitting the enemy - and why wouldn’t they be? - then it’s very possible that the same stat is used for damage and for hit chance. That would compound my disadvantage, and it would only get worse with higher level opponents.
NAOFUMI: I must have fought each blob for, what, ten minutes? It felt like an eternity. I could go up to second level today… but it will take progressively more to push further up the levels. If only I had a party…
NAOFUMI takes one of the orange blob scraps on the ground, and brings it over to the big gem on the front of his shield. The scrap is sucked into the gem, and the shield changes into a round, orange form, styled after the blob.
SYSTEM MESSAGE: Small Orange Shield unlocked!
NAOFUMI: At least I got a new shield.
NAOFUMI: Okay. New idea. What if I also got a sword.
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SCENE: weapons shop in the middle of town. The room is filled with weapon racks, with the walls covered in various shields. Behind the counter, an absolute wall of a man awaits customers. He is bald, six and a half feet tall, and wears a smithing apron.
NAOFUMI enters through the door. The doorbell rings, and BLACKSMITH looks up from a book.
BLACKSMITH: You! I heard what you did to that girl.
BLACKSMITH scowls, strides from behind the counter, and easily lifts NAOFUMI by the lapels, pinning him to the wall.
BLACKSMITH: You deserve a punch to the face!
NAOFUMI stares back, silently.
SPIRIT OF NAOFUMI: Even this guy is in on it. How quickly can this King work? It has barely been a few hours.
NAOFUMI: You know what, if that’s what you believe, go ahead.
NAOFUMI sighs, closes his eyes, and relaxes in the BLACKSMITH’s grip. BLACKSMITH stares at him for a while, then puts him down. NAOFUMI opens his eyes, surprised.
NAOFUMI: Oh? Change your mind?
BLACKSMITH: Did you do it?
NAOFUMI: What good would my word be? The King says I did it.
BLACKSMITH: Did. You. Do. It.
NAOFUMI: No.
BLACKSMITH stares him down, then shakes his head.
BLACKSMITH: Woman you were with yesterday, she asked me for how much I would buy back the chainmail you bought. Felt off to me, and you don’t seem a liar.
NAOFUMI brushes himself off.
NAOFUMI: How did you hear about this, in any case? Guards came by?
BLACKSMITH: There is an announcement on the central square.
NAOFUMI: Bastards. So now nobody will want to deal with me.
BLACKSMITH: Pretty much. Don’t come to my shop either until this calms down, I don’t need this publicity.
SPIRIT OF NAOFUMI: And yet, you won’t throw me out immediately. I can work with this.
NAOFUMI: I need a sword. Nothing fancy, I am strapped for cash. Give me that, and you won’t see me until the next wave.
BLACKSMITH shrugs, goes behind the counter, and takes out a short sword.
BLACKSMITH: Five silver for this. Try the balance, then clear out.
NAOFUMI grabs the sword. As soon as his hand closes around it, sparks of lightning shoot out of his hand, causing him to drop it on the floor.
OBNOXIOUS SYSTEM MESSAGE: CAUTION: INAPPROPRIATE WEAPON USE PROHIBITED
NAOFUMI: Motherfucker. This stupid shield won’t even let me pick up a sword, let alone use it.
BLACKSMITH shrugs.
BLACKSMITH: Sorry about that. Armor?
NAOFUMI: I only have seven silver to my name, plus what is on me right now. Can’t afford it.
NAOFUMI turns to leave.
BLACKSMITH: Hey, hold on.
BLACKSMITH rummages around behind the counter, then throws NAOFUMI an old green cloak. NAOFUMI catches it with a curious look.
NAOFUMI: How much for this?
BLACKSMITH: Call it a clearance sale, it’s free. At least this way you won’t freeze at night.
NAOFUMI nods, and leaves.
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SCENE: Back in the forest around town. Sun is setting. NAOFUMI is sitting on a wide tree branch, eating an apple.
NAOFUMI: Thinking logically, there is only one option left for me: to hire mercenaries. There is just one problem: money. Mercs would already be expensive; with my reputation shot to shit, even more so. What silver I have is far from enough.
NAOFUMI: This means I need a lot of money. My only real way to get money is to hunt monsters and sell their parts. But without a way to deal good damage, that takes forever, and I am exhausted quickly. To get access to damage, I need to already have damage. A classic catch-22.
NAOFUMI reaches into his pocket, pulling out a bunch of orange blob scraps. He counts them, then puts them back into his pocket.
NAOFUMI: Sixty seven scraps… About three per blob, it seems. I’ll see what I can fetch for this in town tomorrow.
NAOFUMI lies back on the branch, trying to find a comfortable position to sleep.
NAOFUMI: No money for a bed in a tavern. Bum life it is. I guess we’ll see if I fall down and break my neck midway through the night.
NAOFUMI hums “Hallelujah I am a bum”, and slowly falls to sleep. The sun skips through the sky, and soon, it is morning again. NAOFUMI slowly wakes up, rubs his eyes, and climbs down the tree. He checks over himself.
NAOFUMI: Well, what do you know, I don’t hurt all over. Must be more shield magic.
NAOFUMI dusts off his cloak, pulls it tighter around himself, and heads to town.
NAOFUMI: Alright, I think it’s time to fraternize with the capitalist class.
Author Note: This is the song: https://youtu.be/E5Ll51kcbjo
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SCENE: An alley within the town, with small market stalls selling and buying various odds and ends. One of the stalls is filled with various animal parts - skulls, furs, bones, claws, and so on. In front of this stall, a customer is selling their haul to a pudgy merchant with shifting eyes. NAOFUMI watches the sale take place from outside of the merchant’s view.
MERCHANT: Alright, that’s seven minor griffon talons for fourteen silver total, five hearts for seven fifty, and fifteen orange balloon scraps for fifteen copper, totaling up twenty one sixty five.
MERCHANT counts out the coins, and hands them off to the customer.
MERCHANT: Always pleasure doing business with you!
The customer leaves, and NAOFUMI takes this opportunity to approach, putting his orange blob scraps on the counter. MERCHANT’s eyes widen and he steps back.
SPIRIT OF NAOFUMI: Oh here we go, he recognised us.
MERCHANT does not make a comment, and simply counts out the scraps.
MERCHANT: Sixty six, sixty seven… This would be six copper, but I’ll round it up to seven.
MERCHANT confidently smiles at NAOFUMI. NAOFUMI stares into the MERCHANT’s face, unblinking.
MERCHANT: Well? Price is set, if you want to haggle, go somewhere else.
SPIRIT OF NAOFUMI: Bastard. You know nobody wants to trade with me as is. There is a reason I am not doing this in the big shops on the central street.
MERCHANT smirks at NAOFUMI. NAOFUMI tiredly closes his eyes, and cycles his breathing several times. His eyes snap open, and he lunges for the MERCHANT’s collar, and slams their face into the counter. MERCHANT yelps in alarm.
NAOFUMI: Do you know who I am?
NAOFUMI’s voice is calm, as if discussing the weather. His other hand jams the shield up to the MERCHANT’s throat, silencing his cries of alarm.
RASPING MERCHANT: The…The shield hero! You raped a girl, we all heard it!
NAOFUMI: Is that so? And what’s the punishment for rape?
RASPING MERCHANT: It’s…execution.
NAOFUMI: Funny, I seem to be still alive. And what’s the punishment for me killing you right now?
RASPING MERCHANT: It’s…also execution.
NAOFUMI: Now isn’t that interesting.
NAOFUMI leans close to the MERCHANT’s ear.
NAOFUMI: What do you think, should we see if I could dodge death a second time?
If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.
MERCHANT trembles without answering.
NAOFUMI: How about this. You trade with me on fair terms - I believe it’s one copper per scrap? - and then we won’t have to conduct this little experiment. And why don’t you tell other merchants about this, I don’t want to have the same talk again.
NAOFUMI releases the MERCHANT. They begin hurriedly counting out copper into a bag, before handing it over to NAOFUMI.
NAOFUMI: Thank you. Now, wasn’t this much easier?
NAOFUMI leaves.
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SCENE: Montage as NAOFUMI works on strengthening his abilities.
NARRATOR: Sixty-odd coppers for a full day of work is essentially nothing. If NAOFUMI is to be ready for the Wave of Apocalypse, he will need a much faster way of making money!
NAOFUMI is heading out of town. On the way there, he passes by a potions store. He stops, looking curiously at the herbs displayed in the window.
NARRATOR: He finds it! Reaching back through history, it is … hunter-gathering!
In the forest around town, NAOFUMI is picking up the same plants he saw in the store. He feeds one of them to his shield, turning it into a giant leaf.
OBNOXIOUS SYSTEM MESSAGE: Small Plant Shield unlocked!
NAOFUMI: Hm. Shield says it grants me “Foraging” skill while worn, which increases the quality of plant ingredients I pick up. Convenient.
In the potions store, THE POTION MAKER - elderly, but lithe individual - is surprised by the quality of ingredients NAOFUMI offers, saying he didn’t think they could be found this close to town.
NARRATOR: The more he gathers, the more money he gets! The more money, the more tools and shields! The more tools, the easier it is to gather!
NAOFUMI is sitting near a river, taking out dozens of tools out of a backpack: axes, mortars, fishing rods, knives, calipers, and so on, feeding all of them to the shield. Shield quickly shifts from one form to another.
NARRATOR: He learns! Grows! Masters his toolset! Problems of the past fall apart before his mind!
NAOFUMI is back in the grassy fields. Several orange blobs surround him. Instead of fighting them, he is holding a cloth bag: as a blob comes flying in, he captures it in the bag, quickly pulling it closed with a piece of rope, and picks up a new bag. The blob within the bag attempts to fly away, but cannot, because the bag is tied to a larger backpack. Soon enough, a dozen blobs are captured in bags. NAOFUMI grabs them one by one, puts them between his legs, and hammers on them with his fists until the blob inside bursts.
NAOFUMI: Finally, third level!
[https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/DxVRDOImubPVGGctS_qfkWcCtMXBmOIueHpP4J13EOLJakrhgaS4NIamttVNwpB9U633E2E5HWh3D8RFVFFu_elHq4JBEWoAM3735PKNNpYpOWIP8pBbFt0m1jVBeVIz5WdDQaVCgp56oXIZXB48Ns2GQozxgjNLdHfj_E4fMl0GUOaRpxipod6NgA]
SYSTEM MESSAGE: Small shield mastered! Mastery bonus: when a shield is used for a while to achieve a certain level of proficiency, it will grant its wielder permanent bonuses.
NAOFUMI: Very interesting. “Used for a while”, huh. Three plausible things this could mean: either I have to simply have it out as I go about my day, or I have to be using it in combat, or it has to specifically block damage. Time to experiment. Damage from these blobs can no longer outpace my health regeneration, and I don’t feel pain as long as my health is high enough, so they would serve as perfect targets.
NAOFUMI takes one of the blobs out of its bag, and puts it on his leg. The blob starts happily gnawing on it.
NAOFUMI: Let’s see how quickly I could master other shields I have now.
NARRATOR: The time passes, and Naofumi’s wealth grows! But without increasing his level, he would be a sitting duck during the Wave. And without foraging in more dangerous areas, he cannot unlock more shields. He is stuck! There is only one solution: mercenaries. After another week of gathering, he feels confident enough to go for it!
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SCENE: Dark alley at night, next to a seedy tavern. NAOFUMI is haggling with three mercenaries over wages. Mercenaries are poorly armed, and look unprofessional.
NAOFUMI: Look, this is a fair deal, and I will not budge on this. Profit from sale of monster parts is split in six parts; two go into a party pot, to be used for party expenses. I get one part, and each one of you gets one part.
MERCENARY 1: Yeah, see, me and the boys ain’t seein' it, ya get me.
MERCENARY 2: We figure you should sweeten the deal, you know. How about a sign up bonus?
MERCENARY 1: Yeah, all sweet-like, say thirty silver per head?
NAOFUMI: Nonsense. You know as well as me that you are underleveled, and nobody in the city - in fact, the entire country - would offer to split the profit with you better than 1 to 1. The only reason I am even here is that I am out of options, but I am fair, and so am offering this incredibly generous deal.
MERCENARIES glance between themselves.
MERCENARY 1: Yeah, how about this. Wallet or your life?
NAOFUMI: You don’t want to do this.
MERCENARY 1 pulls out a knife, and NAOFUMI raises his shield. The other two MERCENARIES try to flank him, but when they go for a stab, are blown back by a wave of force from NAOFUMI’s shield. NAOFUMI follows it up by reaching under his cloak and pitching an orange blob at each of them. Having lost their nerve, MERCENARIES flee.
NAOFUMI: Fucking bastards.
NAOFUMI kicks a nearby wall.
SPIRIT OF NAOFUMI: The fuck am I supposed to do now? This was the last plan I had. If even this scum can’t see beyond the tip of their nose, then where am I going to find people?
SPIRIT OF NAOFUMI: Without the party, I can’t level. Without leveling, my stats will be shit. With shit stats, I will probably die in the first Wave. But forget the stats; if I want to take on the institution of monarchy, I need to organize other people. But with my reputation in the shitter, I can’t organize anything. Of course, if only I had the stats, I could clear my reputation by defending people from monsters. A catch-22.
NAOFUMI wanders down the alley, aimlessly, his eyebrows furrowed in thought. Suddenly, he is stopped by a disturbingly cheerful voice coming from an even darker alley.
MYSTERIOUS VOICE: Hehehe, you seem to have a bit of an ‘employee loyalty problem’, one may say.
NAOFUMI turns towards the voice. He sees a short, pudgy man, wearing what could only be described as a pimp outfit, complete with a cane. His face is occupied by three things: enormous glasses, a grin stretching from one cheek to another, and a disgusting mustache with the middle shaved out. It is, in fact, the legendary “reverse Hitler”.
MYSTERIOUS PIMP: Now, now, no need to be hostile, you can scowl at me after you listen to what I have to say. How about I help you out, eh?
NAOFUMI: Help me out how?
MYSTERIOUS PIMP: Oh, by finding you a ‘worker’, shall we say. I heard all about you, and I think you’d be a great client - how about I even offer you a discount?
NAOFUMI takes a moment to decide, then shrugs, and follows after the mysterious man.
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SCENE: A giant circus tent set up in an isolated square in the seedy part of town. The entire tent is filled with cages, stacked multiple layers high. Inside some of the cages are creatures: werewolves, griffons, giant birds, mantids the size of a person, and so on. Inside other cages - less numerous, but still common - are people in chains.
NAOFUMI: Slaves. You sell slaves.
NAOFUMI is scowling.
SLAVE TRADER: Oh, come now, it’s perfectly legal. I know you don’t know much about our world, but demihuman slavery is omnipresent.
SPIRIT OF NAOFUMI: Does this fucker think my objection is with legality? Slavery is one of the worst things you can do to a person! It is the epitome of capitalist control: the ownership not of capital, or of land, or of the means of production, but of life itself. The very idea is anathema to any socialist!
SLAVE TRADER: There are great advantages to it, you know. Slave crest prevents them from disobeying or harming you - if they do, they may even die. Of course, demihumans are usually obedient by nature, but ones that have been trained for combat can be feisty. In your situation, with no reputation to speak of…it is truly the perfect choice!
SPIRIT OF NAOFUMI: Demihuman… That must mean non-humans, various animal folk.
Looking over the cages with people in them, NAOFUMI sees that they do, in fact, have animal ears, tails, and so on.
NAOFUMI: Are they sentient?
SLAVE TRADER: Oh yes. Some are dumb, but no more than regular people can be, if you catch my meaning hehehe.
They walk past the rows of cages, as the SLAVE TRADER is throwing out prices and advantages of any given slave.
SPIRIT OF NAOFUMI: My reputation must be truly dire if he thinks I would be in favor of this.
SPIRIT OF NAOFUMI: I am not so far removed from a slave, when you think about it. I will be teleported into the Wave against my will, when it starts, and forced to fight it. Could I force someone else to fight alongside me?
SLAVE TRADER describes a strong combat werevolf, mentioning it costs 75 gold, and NAOFUMI interrupts him automatically.
NAOFUMI: I don’t have that much. Do you have anything cheaper? A lot cheaper?
SPIRIT OF NAOFUMI: No, I couldn’t. Fuck it. At least I’ll free someone. If they don’t want to help me, so be it, not like I have anything else to spend the money on. And if I survive, I’ll burn this whole fucking place to the ground.
SLAVE TRADER: Cheaper, hmm… Well, I have some eggs - you could try your luck with those. You would have to raise whatever pops out, and it could be completely useless, but the price is low. Hey, you could even get lucky and get a dragon, hehehe!
SPIRIT OF NAOFUMI: Even in Isekai, there is no escape from gacha.
NAOFUMI: Sounds good. Lead the way.
As they are walking towards the SLAVE TRADER’s office, they pass by a cage with a coughing girl, perhaps 16 years of age, wearing a tattered cloak. A tail pokes out from underneath the cloak, marking the girl as a tanuki. NAOFUMI stops dead in front of the cage.
NAOFUMI: How much for this one?
SLAVE TRADER rubs his chin in thought.
SLAVE TRADER: This one? Just 30 silver, but she’s weak and sick. Her previous owner liked to torture her. Completely useless for you, I should think.
NAOFUMI: That’s fine, I could cure her.
SPIRIT OF NAOFUMI: Enslaved children… I will hang this motherfucker with my own two hands, so help me.
SLAVE TRADER shrugs, and opens the cage.
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SCENE: SLAVE TRADER’s office. It is richly decorated, with solid wooden furniture, carpets, and bookshelves adorning the walls.
SLAVE TRADER shows NAOFUMI how a slave crest is made. It is a deceptively simple procedure, consisting of two steps. First, a special ink is mixed with the “master’s” blood, and then a sigil painted on the chest of the slave. While the SLAVE TRADER is focused on painting the sigil, NAOFUMI swipes some ink on reflex, pouring it into his shield.
SYSTEM MESSAGE: Slave master’s shield unlocked! Special: Increases rate of growth of controlled slaves.
SLAVE TRADER begins the second step: binding the slave with a special incantation. As he intones it, lightning arcs shot out of the painted crest on the girl’s chest. The girl twitches in obvious pain, but is too weak to cry out.
SPIRIT OF NAOFUMI: Fuck me. But no way he would sign the sale contract if I asked him not to use the crest, he would just kick me out and this girl would stay here.
The egg is bound by drawing the crest on the egg shell. As SLAVE TRADER explains, this would transfer the binding to the hatched creature. With the two bindings complete, NAOFUMI hands over one hundred and thirty silver to the SLAVE TRADER, and kneels down next to the girl.
NAOFUMI: What’s your name?
Girl’s voice is barely above a whisper.
RAPHTALIA: Raphtalia…
SPIRIT OF NAOFUMI: She needs food, medicine, and sleep, in either order.
NAOFUMI: Do you want to eat something, Raphtalia?
RAPHTALIA nods, cautiously. NAOFUMI motions for her to follow him, and heads to a tavern.
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DRAMATIS PERSONAE
NARRATOR: The voice of drama.
SPIRIT OF NAOFUMI. Voice of the heart.
SYSTEM MESSAGE. Claims to not be obnoxious - lies. Voice of the status magic.
NAOFUMI IWATANI, THE SHIELD HERO. The only socialist. Protagonist. Known criminal.
ERHARD THE BLACKSMITH. Best weapons trader in Melromarc.
THE POTION MAKER. A source of knowledge.
SLAVE TRADER. Just doing business, oh ho ho.
RAPHTALIA. Racoon girl. Presently enslaved. Sick.