Celle

Where the fuck do I even begin?

There was a lot of cleanup to be done and frankly I had no idea where to even start. We were aboard Harlock now, the crime scene I wanted to look at so badly. It was finally time to uncover what had transpired that night. But there were two matters to be attended to before we could get to that. One, it was probably wise to talk to Nevada first and foremost. She hadn’t said it explicitly, and the guest list at the time was hidden even to the Imperial Guard—a fact that infuriated me even now—but I suspected she had been present the night of her father’s murder.

Two, and perhaps more urgent, we had many injured people aboard the ship now and I had to make sure they weren’t dying yet.

There was also the matter of actually setting a destination for this ship, but that could wait just a little longer.

My favorite idiot was the first visit, of course. He was in the room we had taken over for ourselves, the same room I had stayed in when guarding the Emperor the night he was murdered. That was rather grim, if I were to think about it—so I elected not to think about it. It’s nice, comfortable, fancy, I know where it is in this goddamn labyrinth and near the crime scene. What’s not to like?

“Hey,” I said, entering the room and tossing an apple at him, “still alive?”

Carr raised his left arm to catch it, prompting the fruit to bounce off his limp left hand and land on the bedsheets. “You would think I would have learned by now not to use the shitty arm to try to catch things.”

“I would have thought you’d have learned a lot of things by now, but I have made my peace with the fact you’re a stubborn idiot by now.” I sat on the bed beside him. Heavens, I really just want to lie down right now and do nothing. I feel exhausted. That wasn’t a thought to be said aloud, though, not when talking to someone who just fenced the match of his life. “How are you holding up?”

“I might be a stubborn idiot, but I am your stubborn idiot.” His voice was arrogant, but not really. It was the tone of someone who pretends at arrogance in such an exaggerated way as to make clear it was a joke. “Honestly, I’m pretty okay. That weird guy’s Rule about me not being injured…it really worked out for me, you know? I feel tired, but most of my injuries from today are gone. Maybe all of them. Not sure.”

“Oh? You’re my stubborn idiot now?” I asked, grinning. “That sounds rather official.”

“And that sounds rather scary.”

“And that sounds rather cowardly.”

Carr laughed. “Yeah, suppose so.” He shook his head, and laughed quietly to himself once more before looking at me. “Honestly, I sort of want to talk to you about that. I feel a lot more okay about…things now. Last match made me see things a bit more clearly.”

“Really? I was honestly just fucking with you.”

“Hey, I am capable of rational thought sometimes.”

“Could’ve fooled me.”

“The world’s greatest detective?” Carr asked, gasping in a parody of shock. “There is no fucking way I could fool you.”

We laughed. It felt nice to laugh like this. Neither of us would admit it, but there was something about the time we last said farewell to each other that felt like it could have been the last time. Carr nearly died fighting his fake and I could have died fighting Reven. “I am glad you’re alive,” I told him.

“I am glad we are alive,” he replied, looking me in the eye. “Listen, I—I know I have been talking a lot about finally moving on and…to be honest, I haven’t. It’s not that easy. But something about that fight, it…it made me feel alive. Having my friends cheering me on while I desperately tried to score just one more point...goddamn that felt good. Brought back some memories. Made some new ones. Made me realize I sort of enjoy being alive and…shit. Look, you know what I’m trying to say.”

“I really don’t.” It was a partial lie—I understood his general meaning, but not exactly what he felt. It will be good for him to say it aloud. “What are you feeling, Carr?”

“A lot of things and I need a bit of time to sort out everything. But one thing I’m sure is—you know, back when I was beginning to get to know you, part of me assumed I just liked to spend time with you because you were the first person to really talk to me after that year—or however long that was—in the void. Figured maybe I was just getting attached to you for no reason and—I don’t know, that scared me a little. But the more time passes, the more I make new friends around here, get to know more people and everything…it’s just…well, end of the day, I still enjoy reading shitty books with you more than anything else.”

“You did not just call them shitty!” I exclaimed, punching his arm lightly. “Hesopen Laway is an amazing character, you philistine.”

“Yes, yes,” he agreed, laughing.

There was a silence. Then—“Me too,” I said, slowly. “I spent so long running away from the Empire, obsessing over that case…I talked a lot of crap about how you had to learn to move on from things and not latch on to obsessions to distract you from grief, but I…wasn’t much better, honestly. Felt like I had kind of forgotten how to really be around someone. How to relax around them. And…I don’t know. It feels easier now.”

We smiled at each other in silence. There was so much more we wanted to say, and yet we both felt satisfied at that moment. Are we being cowards? I wondered. Not that our fear was that the other didn’t reciprocate those feelings, far from it. We’re afraid of saying it aloud and then losing each other. Too many people we know have died already. There were things that spoke more emphatically than words, however.

The way he was leaning his head on my shoulder was one of them.

“Hey Carr, listen…I need to check a bunch of things right now—are you sure you are okay? You fought a lot today.”

He nodded rather quickly. It was a weird feeling, with him resting his head on my shoulder, almost like a strange massage. “That’s the thing. I am more than okay. I feel better than I have in a long time. It’s not just my injuries from today that are gone, my knee feels fine.”

“But your arm is still dead?”

“Deader than disco.”

“What the fuck is disco?”

“Don’t worry about it.”

I didn’t. Instead, I was more concerned about what he had said. God’s Rule had made it so that Carr was healed from most of the injuries he suffered today if not all of them. Yet, the knee wasn’t an injury he suffered today, it had come as a result of his first fight against Johan. This called for some reasoning. “Your knee was not in pain when you came in,” I said, slowly. Once we had left the Arcship and felt safe enough, using my Healing on Carr had been one of my first priorities, but actually using it on him would have been a nightmare, as no stats magic worked inside Harlock. “But your arm the Executioner destroyed a long time ago is still numb.”

“What does that mean?” Carr asked. He appeared at most mildly curious about it. The creature was smart when he wanted to be, but often he just checked out of things that he should really have cared about. This was one of them. “That weird guy kept me from getting injured today, but the injury was old so—”

“Your arm is permanently dead unless we use something like a Levelling Sphere. Your knee is kind of dead, but we can heal it enough day by day that it doesn’t affect you anymore. My guess is that your knee wasn’t completely screwed up yet today and then God…” It’s so weird…we met God. And Carr fought him. And Johan killed him. It was one of those thoughts better pushed out for the moment. “God prevented your future injuries for the rest of the day. He reverted you to the state you started the day with, and your arm was already dead at the start of the day. Know what that means?”

“That I’m lucky?”

“Yes—but more importantly, it means your knee isn’t healed. The moment you exert yourself again, it’s going to get injured one more time.”

“What’s new?” Carr asked, laughing. “Just means end of the day you help me heal up and—oh.” Realization dawned on him and he frowned as he started to bring his thoughts together. “Johan killed stats.”

“I have a limited amount of times I can heal you now,” I said, as gently as possible. “And the more injured you are, the more you are going to drain my stats out. Not to mention we can’t even use Restoration aboard Harlock anyway—stats don’t work here, remember? That means you have to be really careful with your injuries.”

Carr nodded slowly, looking at his knee with a haunted expression on his face. I did not have Investigation anymore to read his thoughts, but there was no need to. He is realizing how fragile he is right now. Before, even though he didn’t have magic, he knew he could use his life as a weapon and count on me to keep him going. Now…now he understands that even just living his daily life is going to be a concern. “I haven’t really tested how much it takes to injure my knee,” Carr said, in an honest and pained tone. “Until now, my MO has been to just bulldoze ahead and not care if I get injured. Sometimes my knee is fine, sometimes it’s begging for the sweet release of death and I have to limp to our room until you make it better. Guess I have to really start taking care of my body now, huh?”

“Yes,” I said, touching his right arm and rubbing it a few times sympathetically. “I’m sorry. It’s going to be rough, but we’ll—we’ll find a way to keep you going. Somehow.” I tried my best to sound optimistic, but too much honesty came through. “The whole world is going to adjust. Even if we ration out the usage of stats, the economy, our entire way of living is centered around them. It’s a fuel source we can’t stop burning and—and we have…probably a year at most before we completely run out.”

“A year?” Carr asked, raising an eyebrow. “You really mean that?”

“No.” It had been more of a lie to myself than to him. Probably better to be honest. “A few months at most. I don’t know how long. We use stats heavily enough now, but with those…monsters Johan unleashed in the world, people are going to have to use them a lot more. Stockpile food, reinforce walls, use Swordsmanship to fight monsters…it’s all going to drive society to madness.”

This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.

“So they’re going to run to Johan’s city,” Carr said. His tone was more resigned than angry; there was a sort of calm contemplation about the man that I would not have attributed to him. “Where he can use his powers to keep monsters away from the city. But—what about the rest? The economy, the way people live…he can’t fix that.”

I shrugged. “Maybe he doesn’t care. Maybe he figures as long as people can survive the monsters inside his walls they will have time to develop technologies and change their entire way of life.” The thought sounded unconvincing to us both. “He said something about wanting to hold off until he could fully establish his own Rules. Once he did, I imagine he uses those Rules to force people to follow him.”

“Not to force them,” Carr said, after a moment of consideration. “That’s not his style. He would give them what they needed. They would have a choice to go and die without him, or stay with him and live wonderful lives. Sounds silly, doesn’t it? Like it’s not really a choice…but that’s what Johan likes. To watch people choose to be with him even though they only do it because he gives them no other option. To make them feel responsible for their fate.” He shook his head. “Doesn’t really matter right now. We…we have to figure out how to survive first before we do anything else.”

He was right about that. There were many priorities—attending to every injured person in our group, considering our destination, making sure we had enough supplies, finally solving the Emperor’s murder, making a plan on how to defeat Johan…I am tired just thinking about it. But it wasn’t time to collapse yet. I had to get things done right now, it wasn’t time to be selfish. “Are you sure you are okay?” I asked. “I know there’s a lot to consider, but the thing about not being able to get your knee healed every day…you can’t be taking this as well as you’re appearing to.”

Carr hesitated. Something was in his mind, and I felt incredibly annoyed at not having Investigation anymore. If I told him about that, he would probably tell me what’s on his mind out of guilt. But that would feel too manipulative for my taste. Instead, I just sat there and waited until—if—he wanted to tell me. After a few moments, he opened his mouth and said, “Well, if I’m being honest…there is one thing I’m a little bothered by.”

“What is it?”

He looked me in the eye and smiled. “I am going to miss you checking up on my injuries every day and using Restoration on me. Especially after we established that if I am taking off my shirt, it is only fair if you reciprocate.”

“Seriously?” I asked incredulously. His mischievous grin made me laugh at first, but I rolled my eyes at him afterward. “There is no way you aren’t using this as a distraction from your feelings right now. Come on.”

“And what’s wrong with that? Shit’s kind of fucked, we might as well use a distraction.”

“The world is burning right now.” Just thinking about it gave me chills. Stats were dead. God was dead. There was so much to do, and so little time. We had to start doing things right now, there was not a second to waste. We had to—

“The world will still be burning tomorrow,” Carr said. “And if we don’t take our time to rest up a little, we’ll be reduced to ashes alongside it.” He shook his head. “I know it sounds like bullshit coming from me, but…I don’t want to burn up anymore. I want to kill Johan, but I also want to live now. Guess I—I want to start looking forward to what life is going to be like when he’s gone.” Carr looked around the room wistfully. “There is no electricity here. No technology I was used to back on Earth. It’s a completely new world, and yet…I really want to enjoy it. Part of that involves not going crazy. So I want to take it easy sometimes from now on…and I think you should too.”

“Being told not to be reckless by you hits harder than it should,” I said harshly. Too harshly. I hadn’t intended for the venom to creep up on my tongue, and it was only then that I realized how stressed I was. Guess it’s easy to let it get to me. I’m always trying to guide those idiots around…and always trying to get things done my way. There was so much to do…could it really wait a day? Gilder is taking care of Max, so he should be fine…I think Nevada is taking care of the Executioner and nobody else is that injured. We can set our course tomorrow, and assess the supply situation later. Perhaps it really would be possible to just relax for the day. It would be really irresponsible and selfish to leave it for tomorrow but…goddamn it, I am so tired. Not physically. My body was fine, all things considered. But mentally I felt devastated. There was so much we had learned, so much that had to be accounted for…

Fuck it.

“Fine,” I said, throwing my hands up in the air. “You win.”

“What do you—”

I tossed my shirt at his face before he could finish his sentence. “Look, I have a lot of shit to do tomorrow, but I really don’t want to do it today. You win. I want to be an irresponsible shithead. Let’s have some fun. The world will still be on fire tomorrow.”

Nevada

“How’s the Sun Wolf?” Valle asked upon my return. He had already bathed and changed clothes from the blood soaked ones he wore earlier. Nearly immediately upon our departure, more than inquiring us about how our mission went, he had shrugged and said, ‘Well, it’s a disgrace to smell so bad. I need a bath,’ before walking off without so much as a farewell.

That he hadn’t waited for me to join him in the bath after covering me in blood with an embrace annoyed me more than slightly, but that was something to bring up later.

“He is fine—we found some Levelling Spheres in the reserves. Enough to heal his wounds, even if not enough to get his arm back. I believe he will be unconscious for quite a while, but he will live. I still cannot believe he managed to jump aboard the ship before we left.”

“I see.” Valle nodded a few times, then sipped at his tea—gesturing at another cup I gladly took for myself.

It seemed as though he would continue speaking, but silence reigned for too long. I will not say anything. Is he not worried about me? About how our fight with Reven went? Does he not want to know all the details? Does he not want to tell me about how his fight with my brother went? I saw most of it with that strange invention, but he should still want to tell me! Be quiet, I told myself. Wait until he says something. Do not press it.

Yet time marched on and he said nothing of importance, merely sipping at his tea happily. “Lord Valle,” I said, somewhat angrily, “is there not anything you want to ask of me?”

“Quite,” he replied, nodding. “But before it can be done, we must attend to our responsibilities. We are King and Queen now—and people’s lives depend on our decisions. I know you are well, for I see you standing before me. Many other questions come to mind, my queen, but we must attend to the kingdom first.”

He was quiet because he was thinking of what to do about the rebellion, I realized. The thought warmed me to him more, but it did not rid him of sin—he could have said so aloud instead of merely standing in silence and waiting for me to read his bloody mind. Another realization struck me then. King and Queen. He does not see the rebellion as a means to oppose Johan…he truly means to establish the Terra Inglesa as its own kingdom. A concerning thought came: would he still oppose the Terra Inglesa being part of the Empire once I was its empress? Surely he would make a concession if he was its Emperor as well, no?

“We are the King and Queen of Cresna,” I said, in an accommodating voice. That could wait until later. For now, we were on the same page and did genuinely enjoy each other’s presence. “We should be concerned for our people.”

“We are not Kings and Queens of Cresna,” Valle replied, shaking his head. “Our formal title will be king and queen in Cresna. The entire Terra Inglesa will pledge themselves to us and historically, the cities in the Terra Inglesa were allied to each other rather than ruled by one. Their king I might be, but I will rule them as their equal, not as their dictator. Each city will hold its rights and independence.”

Noble of heart you are, my Valle. But that is not the right way to handle this. People will need to be ruled by their king in a time like this. Kindness is a cruelty here. It was not the time to infuriate him, however. Valle held the upper hand now. He was the self-proclaimed King in Cresna and it would not surprise me if many of the other territories had already proclaimed their loyalty for him. Any objections from me could be met with angry denials, and it would just make him harder to handle in the future. “If you feel it wise, my king, then it shall be so.”

“You think me a fool, then speak plainly,” he said.

You ask me to speak plainly, and yet you speak formally to me. Your tongue is not the same when directed at Carr or the others—we are affectionate toward each other, but you do not drop your guard around me. “Foolishness is too strong a word for my concerns.”

“I can take strong attacks.” Valle leaned forward. “What is your issue with it?”

I hesitated. I must pick my words carefully. “I fear that for a strong rebellion in such overwhelming odds, you must be a strong leader. Declining a pledge to serve you would be most foul.”

“I would not force a man to kneel so that his people would be protected under my banner.”

“What of those that want to?” I asked sharply. “Your sense of honor and history are not shared among all who live in your lands, my lord. There might be those that refuse to bend their knee to you and yet there might be even more that do not have the will to lead their people in such a time. Why bother over control of their armies and how to feed their people when they can entrust themselves to a more competent lord?”

“Without their freedom, they will be left behind by the cities that do not pledge themselves. A measure of economic freedom and lack of busywork will allow the others to flourish—even with my best intentions, I do not think I would be able to rule their lands from Cresna as effectively as they would. It would be a foolish decision for them to—”

“Aye, my king,” I said, gently but firmly. “It would be most foolish. Yet theirs is the freedom to be foolish, no? It is not your right to deny them the right.”

Valle sank in his chair, appearing thoughtful. Forget your concerns. You should make every single one of them serve you indiscriminately. Those who do not kneel should be knelt. “Is that your plan then, my king? To summon the lords of the Terra Inglesa and see where they stand?”

“That is your plan,” Valle replied, with a smile. At first I tensed, but he held up a hand to ease me. “It is a good plan, however, and I was thinking along the same lines, my queen. We should take Harlock to Cresna and assess our standing. From there, we can plan the rest of the war.”

“The war,” I said, annoyedly, “will be most costly. With stats being dead—our entire way of life changing—it will be pure chaos. Our people’s morale will be quite low.” We need your charisma to lead them forward. That’s why you need to be a strong leader, do you not understand? “We need to defeat Johan before our people lose their stockpiled stats—before living becomes unsustainable. The question is whether we can defeat him in the six or so months it would take before we lost the last sparks of our magic.”

“We cannot,” Valle replied calmly.

“You do not sound disturbed.”

“I am not.”

Do you not mean to tell me what your plans are? I thought angrily. Are we not partners? Do you think you can just keep secrets from me to hold power over me? You— “Nevada, my queen, would you like to bathe with me? I believe it was a long day.”

This surprised me. “You—you already bathed, my king.”

“I did, but that was just to get the stench of blood from me. I would like to take another to really relax now that we are done.” He paused. “I do not think that we can defeat Johan’s army so quickly, and even if we did there would be too many remnants of his reign to take care of. No, such a push would be unsustainable.”

“What is your plan, then?”

“Razil,” Valle said calmly. “They make weapons that rely not on stats. We set sail toward Cresna, summon the other lords and see where their loyalty lies. After assessing our situation, we take Harlock straight to Razil—if any ship can survive the trip, it would be this one—and use it to press our advantage.”

Objections came to mind and Valle’s responses without the man needing to voice them. If we wage a slower war, Johan will be able to master God’s Rules and be therefore impossible to kill, I thought. The counter was—Carr is immune to God’s Rules. With some effort, he will be able to best Johan. It was a ridiculous gamble, but I understood that Valle held absolute faith in two things: Carr would defeat Johan and that Valle himself would defeat Carr at a later time. If we do not press the war against Johan, he will be able to use Fedal the Hero’s ability to increase his power to absurd levels. The counter was—We do not need to win the war early, but if we press on enough to keep Johan using his Swordsmanship he will not be able to stockpile it.

Such reckless—

“I believe that covers our business,” Valle said, smiling. “How about we take that bath now, then?”

I considered it. It would be nice. But I shook my head and pointed at a few parchments instead. “It is like you said. We need to fulfill our responsibilities as rulers. Let us plan our policy before we approach Cresna—pleasure can wait until we are really finished with work today.”

Razil…why did he suggest it so readily?

Was there any truth to it? To that ridiculous joke that woman had made in court before?

Was Estella the World Champion, the woman who came from Cresna, truly from Razil?