The Death of the Nameless Servant

Not all Katherines were equal, I learned. Some were only fit for small tasks like bringing Lord Johan some tea or having short conversations. The better ones were allowed to follow scripts and reenact some longer conversations with Lord Johan, albeit not longer than five minutes. The truly exclusive group was the one allowed to conduct longer conversations from scripts and that also had been trusted with the privilege of improvisation; only the most adept at the role were thought to be able to do so without breaking the immersion.

To my eternal honour, Lord Johan assigned me this last ranking. It wasn’t without controversy, however. I was a very new Katherine and being given this honour didn’t sit well with some of them, I knew. Still, Katherines were loving and non-confrontational, so the only ones who could have had an issue with me—the really talented ones—were too committed to their role to truly make it an issue. To my face, at least.

My first surprise was that this role came with additional training I hadn’t anticipated. Namely, fencingtraining.

“The reason you keep missing,” Lord Johan told us, “is that you’re trying to stab the target.”

One of us looked at her weapon, confusion plain on her pale face. “Is that not what we’re supposed to do, my lord?” Here we were allowed to be partially out of character—it would have been out of character for Katherine to be trained by him in the basics, he had said, and this was preferable. Still, it was hard to not be partially Katherine at this point.

“No. If you try to stab something as you move forward, you are going to miss nearly every time. It’s too hard to control the tip like that.” He appeared to consider his own words. “For beginners, at least. Instead, what you should do is fully extend your arm first, then make sure the tip is aimed at where your target is. After that, don’t move your arm at all. I just need you to move your feet after that. If your tip is aimed at the right and you keep it steady, so long as you move forward you will land a hit.”

We were hesitant about this advice. It seemed so…counterproductive. But moments after we tested it we verified he was right: moving our arm first and only then moving our feet greatly increased our accuracy. A few repetitions later and I was hitting the target with near mathematical precision. It was so easy to land that hit…and kind of fun too.

I didn’t understand why we had to learn fencing until later, though. Not fully. I understood the principle, that Katherine was a fantastic fencer and that Lord Johan would want us to be as good as her. But I didn’t understand the real reason until I was called in to meet with him once again.

“Johan!” I greeted him, smiling. Tilt your head to the side, laugh a little. That’s what Katherine would do.“It’s good to see you again. Been a while, hasn’t it?”

He smiled back and gestured at a seat across from him. “Please.”

His tone was too formal, too lordly and I knew this indicated he didn’t want me to be in character. Lord Johan didn’t mean to talk to a Katherine, but to his servant. I straightened my back and looked at him deferentially. “How may I assist you, my lord?”

“I would like to enlist you in a new job,” he said. “You will be paid three times as much and your job duration is still the same. Would you accept?”

“Th—three times, my lord?” With that amount of money, I could…my sister…oh lord, my sister. I haven’t thought about her in too long…thank the lord I’ve managed to keep writing letters. But…it’s so hard to remember my life outside the Western Tower. That was no good. I had to remember who I was doing this for. “I—of course, it would be my honour!”

“I must warn you…it will be painful. Are you still willing to go through with it?”

His eyes sparkled with sincerity at that point. He really doesn’t want to see me in pain. Somehow, this is what made the decision easier for me. “Yes, my lord.”

Lord Johan nodded a few times, keeping his head low. “Well…if you are decided…please accompany me.”

I wasn’t expecting what followed.

A book fell off the bookshelf behind my lord and suddenly the entire shelf swung open as if it had always been intended to do so. So natural was the movement and so calm my lord appeared that it took me a second to process what I had just witnessed. I was still trying to understand both its existence and its significance when my lord appeared beside me, hand extended and smiling. “My lady?”

Never in a thousand years, in my wildest dreams, had I assumed a nobleman—much less Lord Johan, Arcadia’s hero—would refer to me as lady and that he would extend his hand to me. Maybe my sister’s implications were right. Maybe the reason he had brought me here was that he fancied me. Even thinking such a thing seemed almost treasonous! Yet he had cut my hair, had he not? It hurt me every day when I looked in the mirror, but when I thought of his attempts at kindness, my suffering ceased slightly.

I took his hand and his smile grew wider.

My lord led me through the passage and down a spiralling stone staircase, illuminated by what appeared to be recently lit torches. The light was bright but not evenly spaced, and there were several steps during which I was surrounded in complete darkness, guided only by Lord Johan’s gentle grip. Neither of us spoke and in that sometimes complete darkness only our footsteps reminded me that this walk wasn’t a dream.

“We’re here,” he said gently. “Are you sure you want to go through with this?”

I nodded.

“Very well.”

He directed me to a chair and it was only then that I realized I should have thought or asked about what this job entailed. Why would it hurt? Why was it essential? Why couldn’t I muster up the courage to ask? Instead, I asked, “I understand the pain, my lord, but will I be at risk? If something happens to me, my sister…”

“You will be unharmed.”

I hesitated. Even if there had to be pain, so long as there was no possibility of me dying…it should be fine. For that amount of gold, I was willing to do a lot. We would be able to open our bakery, live together without relying on anyone ever again… “Then I am ready, my lord.”

I sat down on the chair. It was made of expensive leather, I realized, but it was still thin and uncomfortable, unlike the ones in Lord Johan’s office. Then, to my surprise, the chair bent backwards. “Do not fear,” Lord Johan said. The chair reclined backwards and my legs were brought upwards as well, as the footrest had somehow been brought up as well. So focused I was on Lord Johan’s smile—the only thing I could see in that darkness—that I didn’t even notice when my hands were tied up.

Chains locked both of my arms in their positions and when I looked up, struggling out of reflex, my legs were chained in place as well. “Do not worry,” Lord Johan said. “This is part of the process. We have to make sure you don’t move during it.”

“It’s not too comfortable, but it will have to do,” said Lord Roger. When had he come in? “This is going to hurt, but to make it precise we can’t have you moving. Normally we have people asleep for those but…well, with the new process Lord Johan wants to try out, we’re going to need you to be awake for it to work.”

“What…what is going to happen?” I managed to ask.

“My special ability is to change appearances,” Lord Roger replied, not without kindness. “Officially, my limit is to minor skin imperfections. Nobles, men and women, often hire my services for that reason. Unofficially…” The flickering candlelight shadowed his face in darkness for a moment, and a returning light showed his wicked grin. “I can do so much more than that.”

I tried at the chains, but they didn’t budge. I want to go. I don’t want to be here anymore. No, that was silly. Lord Johan had said this would be safe, there was no need to panic!

“I can alter your very shape,” he said slowly. “It’s not just an illusion. It will be permanently altered, so long as your own blood flows your veins. The more different you are than the intended shape, the more likely your mind is to break, though…it’s a difficult process, getting the body to accept its change, and even more difficult to get the mind to accept it as well! Which is why it’s so important that you already strongly resemble the intended target.”

“Katherine?” I managed weakly.

“Yes!” Lord Roger replied, excitedly. “You have been selected because you strongly resemble her. Not that you could pass for her twin or anything of the sort…but your bone structure generally resembles her. She was a little taller than you, however, and despite your similarities there are still differences to account for. Eye colour, height, weight, cheek bones…there’s a lot to work with here. But I am more than capable to handle it.”

I tried to look at Lord Johan for reassurance, but he was shrouded in darkness and I could not see his face. Instead, I turned back to Lord Roger and asked, “Is it going to hurt?” I knew the answer already. I had been warned. Yet, the question came out of my mouth regardless.

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“Yes. It will feel as though your very existent is being ripped out of your body.”

His answer was chilling but somehow his honesty soothed me. “I…I see, my lord. Thank you. I…I am ready.”

“No,” he replied kindly, wrapping a final chain around my neck. “You are not.”

The pain started anyway.

It was a pain that surpassed my understanding of the word. The first jolt had felt as if someone had stabbed me. The second jolt lacked a proper comparison, yet I begged for one. As the pain spread, my thought process almost separated from the me that was on the chair, screaming and crying. Finding a description for my pain distracted me, made it feel almost academical. It hurt…like I had been struck by lightning? No. What did that feel like anyway?

My skin…is it my skin still? I felt it rip open, and a squishy sound made me close my eyes. It felt as though my very insides were being rearranged. My legs started to stretch. There was a song—someone was humming happily along to this. Lord Johan? No…it was Lord Roger. He pulled my arms and made them thinner, my legs longer, my face sharper. He was a boy building a sand castle and I was the sand.

Suddenly it occurred to me that I wanted to pass out. I can’t be conscious for this. I can’t. I desperately attempted at passing out, at letting go of my consciousness…but when I had nearly succeeded, I felt a slap wake me up. “You heard Lord Roger,” said Lord Johan. “You must be awake for this.”

Why? Why did I have to be awake for it all? I didn’t understand it, but I knew right there that they wouldn’t let me be unconscious for it. That I would have to suffer through it all, that pain of having my body reshaped into something else.

I must, therefore, have been awake for it all. But I don’t remember it. My mind stopped working at some point, blocked it all out. What I remember is that my very next memory was standing there, breathing heavily while Lord Johan caressed my hair gently. “You did very well,” he said gently. “Mirror?”

Lord Roger brought a mirror to the chair and it seemed as though looking through a window. The person looking back at me was beautiful, and it seemed like the short hair suited her, instead of having it forced on her. Red-haired, she was, and of a thinner frame than me, with bright green eyes. “That…that is Katherine?” I managed, in a weak voice.

“That is you,” Lord Johan said. “From today on, you will be Katherine and the others will be your backups.”

“Thank you for the honour, my lord.” Was I always going to look like this? Would my sister even believe me when I told her who I was when I got back? Oh my god… I tried to stand up, but it was then that I noticed that the chains had yet to be undone. I looked at my lord pleadingly. “Lord Johan, the chains…”

“I’m afraid we are not yet done.”

Footsteps indicated a new presence in the room. Chained up, I could not turn my neck to see who the owner of those footsteps was. It was not until they spoke that I recognize them. “My turn, now?” It was the one-armed person who had entered Lord Johan’s office before, bleeding and injured. “Should I go about my business?”

“Yes,” Lord Johan replied excitedly. “Do it. Have you gotten all the memories you needed?”

“Yes,” he replied slowly. “I…extracting them from your heart was most difficult, my lord.”

“So it was…the Steel Price is most curious. It seems like their memories were buried deep within me. A side effect of the process…or a way to haunt my nightmares, perhaps. No matter. They are removed from me now.”

“M—my lord?” I asked. “What—what is gonna happen now?”

Lord Johan gestured to his side. My head could not turn to see, but I imagined he was pointing at the one-armed person. “My loyal servant has a special ability, called 「He Who Whispers」. He is capable of capturing a person’s very memories with a single strike…but he can also implant them with two strikes. I have had my friend’s memories buried in me since I paid the Steel Price. It was most unpleasant, but he managed to ah, remove them from me. Which brings us to you. Katherine’s memories will be transferred to you.”

“M—my lord?” I tried at breaking the chains desperately, despite my polite tone. “I…how will I live with the memories of two people in me? Will it not be hard not to get things mixed up?”

“It would be hard to live with the memories of two people, yes,” Johan conceded. Then, without answering the rest, he went on. “「He Who Whispers」has a major weakness. It copies memories permanently, but things like muscle memory and empathy have a very short time limit. That will not do. Even someone with Katherine’s memories would not necessarily behave as kindly as she did, if that was not in their nature to do so. The academy aims, therefore, to alter your nature enough to make you compatible with it. You were such a good specimen, to advance through the ranks so quickly…!” Lord Johan trailed off, beaming with pride. “Even your fencing lessons. It would not do if Katherine had no muscle memory of fencing whatsoever. But your hard work gave her new body enough muscle memory that when she is not able to do the moves she wants, she will be able to correct it with her memories and some self-practice. Katherine was a good fencer, but probably the weakest of our group. Clara and Jack will be harder to find a suitable body for…”

Lord Johan was no longer speaking to me, I realized. “Please,” I begged, “let me go.”

“I’m afraid you already agreed to this, Katherine,” he said slowly. “Don’t worry. We already started this procedure with a much more difficult case than yours, and that went well. You will be just fine, Katherine.”

“My name is not Katherine!” I screamed. “It’s—”

He covered my mouth with his hand, and up close, I could see the cold fury in his eyes. There was no kindness. There was no nobility. There was only outrage that I dared to speak back at him. “YOUR. NAME. IS. KATHERINE.”

I felt steel touch my arm and a demon whispered a life into my ears.

Katherine

It was weird getting used to this. My body felt somewhat sluggish and my fencing felt lacking at times. But things had been getting better, even if a little weird—why was there a locket in my pocket and why did looking at it make me feel sad? Better not to open it—and I was looking forward to our upcoming match now.

I had woken up just three days ago, and I was the first one of the crew to do it. The last thing I remember we were all meeting up after so long when that…monster attacked us. Johan decided to play big damn hero and he defeated it, but we were all sucked into some kind of portal. When I woke up, I was in a weird stone room that seemed like some weird British medieval castle or something.

“Hey there, sleepy head,” said Johan.

“Johan!”

My first shock was seeing him. My second shock was seeing him standing, proudly and firmly, as he did before the accident. Now, yeah, I should have been frozen in shock for longer, but honestly sometimes happiness overwhelms your surprise paralysis, you know? Next thing I knew I had leaped out of bed and hugged him. “JOHAAAAAN!” I started screaming before I had even started jumping and was still screaming after I landed, tackling him onto the floor. “YOU CAN WALK!”

“Not for long if you keep tackling me like that,” he grunted. Then he laughed. Oh my god, he laughed. Just like the Johan of old. Not that ghost of him that was birthed from that freak car accident…this Johan was my captain. My friend. The one who could accomplish anything he wanted. “You okay, Katherine?”

“There…there was that grim reaper. That monster. You—you parried his sword with your épée and then…and then we fell through what looked like a portal.”

“Yeah,” Johan said kindly, hugging me tight. “But it’s okay. We’re all here now and I can walk again.”

“All of us?”

“Yeah,” he nodded, smiling. “But it will take some time for some Jack and Clara to wake up…might still be a few months.”

“A few months?” I exclaimed. “Brain damage sets in pretty quickly if you are unconscious for even a little bit, if they haven’t woken up yet then…”

Johan laughed. “This world has magic, Katherine. They won’t be brain damaged from it. You were unconscious for just over a year, you know?” He laughed again. I should have focused more on everything else he said—magic, that I was unconscious for a year—but instead I focused on that laugh. It made me want to cry. God, I hadn’t seen that laugh in so long. Not since the night Carr left. Wait…Carr…”Is…is Carr here too?”

“Of course I am!” Carr replied from the door. He was sweaty and had an épée draped over his shoulder, grinning from ear to ear. “Took you a while to wake up, huh? I’ve been up for two whole days longer than you.”

Johan untangled himself from my hug, stood up and walked toward him. I held my breath, then they both laughed together. “Two days is nothing. You were still unconscious for a year, Carr,” Johan said, laughing hysterically.

“Oh, shut up! I was up earlier, even fought the Executioner for you! I just…fell asleep again after that, that’s all.”

“How’s practice? Your body feeling fine?”

Carr shrugged. “It feels a little weird. My lunges are really good, but there’s something about them that feels, bah, weird? Like my old coach would be proud of me, that’s for sure. They are too clean though, I like to lunge a bit dirty. Gives me a bit of a wild edge, you know?”

“Gives your opponent points, more like it.” And then they both laughed. Oh my god, they laughed, and I couldn’t help but shed a few tears. It was just like old times. They were friends again…it was like that night when Johan drove after Carr hadn’t ever happened. I didn’t care where we were anymore. Magic, who cared? Johan could walk again and Carr didn’t hate him anymore.

They both noticed my tears and knelt down before me. I looked at them hesitantly, and before I could say anything they both gave me a hug. “We…talked it out. That was all we needed,” Carr said awkwardly. “We both could have handled that better.”

“Yes you could have!” I screamed. “Carr, you could have…come to visit and…Johan you could have…returned those calls…and…the tournament…”

“It’s all in the past now,” Carr said gently.

We hugged, cried and laughed for a while together. If this was a dream, I didn’t want to wake up from it. It must have been hours. Johan filled us in on the incredible story of the life he had lived while we were unconscious. Carr knew some of it, but not all. It was all new to me. Apparently Johan had, through incredible military achievement, nearly become Emperor of this strange land, where fencing ruled all.

“That’s somehow the least surprising part about this,” Carr said. “Always thought you would end up ruling over somewhere.”

Johan grinned. “Yeah. Me too.”

We laughed again. God, it was good to have them all back again.

Johan hesitated. “That said…there’s a group of people I need to deal with. Can I ask you for your help?”

“Of course!” I said. “I don’t know how we, mere peasants, can help oh-my-lord-Emperor-Johan but we’ll glad to help.” It was really hard to not laugh after calling him Emperor and I didn’t attempt to resist. It was fun to laugh again.

“It’s a fencing match. A team match,” Johan added, upon seeing our looks of confusion. “I can’t make it there…I believe it will happen just before my coronation. A friend of mine came to ask for strong fencers to be on his team and I would like to recommend you two for it.”

“A mixed team tournament?” Carr said, grinning and looking at me. “Never thought I’d be on the same team as Katherine. This is gonna be fun!”

“Who’s our third if you can’t make it then?” I asked. “Jack and Clara are still unconscious, right?” Oh man, I realized that when they woke up, Johan would already be crowned as Emperor. Too bad that they would have to miss that, but it would be hilarious to wake them up and have Johan walk in wearing a crown.

Johan hesitated. “Max.”

“Max?” Carr exclaimed. “That Max? That fucker is here? He followed me all the way to fucking Swordland?”

“That one. He didn’t really follow you, though. You sort of followed him. This was always his home.”

“Good. I need my fucking rematch.”

“Carr, you beat him in the World Cup already,” I said.

“Yeah, but he beat me in college like five times. I need to work on my head-to-head score against him.”

Carr stood up and smashed his fists together. “Well, I’ll deal with him later. For now, we just have to beat those guys! The Bladewolves are ready to take a title again!”

The Bladewolves…I never thought we would go by that name again. Never thought I’d get so attached to a stupid name we entered on a whim when asked what our team name was either. Everything about this felt right.

“You guys are doing me a huge favour,” Johan said, smirking. Then he looked at Carr. “You should know, your enemies include a guy who’s pretending to be you…”