Sylvia wrapped an explosive arrow with one of her gloves, and buried it in the small hole that she had made into the wall. As soon as the glove was in, she opened its storage area and converted it to fire. As she jumped behind after doing so, the wall blasted into pieces all around us.

I panicked, since I couldn’t use magic anymore, and tried to block it with my hands. But before the pieces of rock could teach us, Sylvia had already created a barrier all around us. The rocks all eventually fell down to the ground and the part of the wall that had been destroyed now lay bare in front of us. In the middle of the hole, floating in the air, was a book with leather covering. It had a faint red glow all around it.

A second later, though, the glow disappeared and the book fell down.

“Looks like it worked.” Typhen said, turning to Jillesha’s body, which still had a twitching finger.

Without a word, Sylvia lowered the barrier and silently walked over to the unconscious Hess, who was being held by Ginzari. She stood beside them for a second, before the leader put her on the ground. The girl sat down beside Hess and a faint yellow glow covered her hand. Sylvia had no expression on her face anymore. She hadn’t had one for a very long time. The yellow glow started to cover Hess’ entire body and, and also flowed in through her mouth. Ginzari stood up and walked to Jillesha’s body.

He bent down in front of it and held the twitching finger, for an extended period of time. Then, a quick and sharp sound of a crack filled the air. Ginzari stood back up, leaving the broken finger as it was. He turned to Sylvia and kept his eyes on Hess for some time.

Stage Directions (Day 31) –

Hear the Diary

Sylvia’s whole body shook for a second.

In a monotonous voice, she spoke, “I think I saw something in that place Jillesha was standing while telling us about his story. Can someone check and tell me what it was?”

I moved.

The place he had been standing had been the upper side of the room, from the perspective of the path we had used to enter. Sometime during his and Ginzari’s fight, Jillesha had cracked the entire wall, which had revealed another hidden pocket in it. Peeking from within was a particular type of book that I recognized well. It had a synthetic-looking cover, with a wavy pattern all over it. The book was worn out, which was to be expected. It wasn’t some diary that Jillesha had made after coming here. It was something that he had brought from ours. Something he had come here with.

I pulled the book out and blew away the dust on the outside. Looking at it made me nostalgic. It even had a matching blue ribbon to bookmark pages with. For some reason, I remembered that mine always broke. Just as I was going to open it, I stopped myself.

The directions were clear. My job was to hear it. Someone else was supposed to read it. And based on what she had just said, that someone was probably Sylvia.

I headed over to her and bent down to pass it, “It looks like a diary.”

“Just a second.” She did not look at it. All of her focus was on Hess. Kaisel was the designated healer, and Sylvia had never shown any interest in the style. Yet, here she was, using it. Maybe she knew a little bit of every type. Even then, she wouldn’t be able to heal all the wounds in front of her.

A large cut materialized on her right hand, and blood began to ooze out. All Sylvia did was move her hand just slowly to make sure that none of it fell on Hess’ body. Other than that, no reaction.

That made me put my head on the scar that had appeared on my own forehead. God had been lax with that punishment, considering that I had acknowledged the directions directly. That could only mean that he had made some plans for me, and he needed me alive for those reasons. It just made the whole situation worse. This story wasn’t even over, and he was already coming up with things that he would consider important and better. Just the fact that he was looking at us right now confirmed that.

The mercenaries began to pour back in. One of them was holding Kaisel’s body while crying. I tried not to look at it, but it was hard to keep my eyes off. Back when the devil had taken over and Ginzari had started fighting, I had had my fill of looking at him. Nothing good would come out of seeing it over and over again. He was dead, and that was it. I had done that. Hess seemed to have forgiven me, but that did not mean that it did not feel horrible. No matter what, though, I couldn’t beat myself up over it anymore. I had decided not to let it affect me like that.

Sylvia’s hands stopped working, and went back to normal. Hess’ body moved just a bit, and then she started to sit up, coughing. Her eyes looked terrible, almost completely black, but the rest of her body looked much better than I expected.

“Syl, what did you do?” She whispered, touching her face.

“I’m sorry.” Sylvia answered, “If I used healing in its usual barred form, then you would die. I decided to break the barriers he had asked me to always set. You’re almost fully healed, but it shortened your natural lifespan by a few years.”

“Why?” Her hands kept touching every nook and cranny of her face.

“You’re not dying today, Hess. One is more than enough.” She stood up and pulled the book from my hand without any warning.

“Also, my eyes?” Hess looked in her general direction.

“You won’t be able to see, ever again.” Sylvia flipped open the book to the place where the ribbon was, and then began to move back to the first page, “I’m sorry, once more, but that is the best I could do. The damage due to the rocks was too much.”

If you spot this narrative on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

“Oh.” Hess whispered and lowered her hands to the ground. She did not move, as if thinking something.

Sylvia reached the start, and glanced through the entire page before starting to move forward page by page, reading it herself. Then, she went back to the first page, and started reading.

“It starts before he entered this world. Those do not seem important, so I will skip them.” She moved forward a few pages, and then continued, “He came here, was robbed and almost killed, then he went to the thieves to get his belongings back, and killed all of them. There, he found a map to what was apparently a very famous treasure. He used that map to roam around the lands while meeting new people. One of them was Hess, who began teaching him how to use a sword. It’s mostly things about how he grew stronger and moved forward after that. The entries are short, in bad handwriting, and do not seem to indicate any strong, negative emotions at all. He seems sad about losing his real family, but very happy to have met so many good people in this world that he could rely on.”

Nobody moved an inch. She continued.

“Sometime later, he stopped counting the number of days he had been here. Just randomly, he begins – ‘Hess found her brother. I feel so happy for the two of them. He is a very good kid too, to have come all the way here on his own to find his sister. She tells me his name is Hike, so at least her memory loss only seems to be short-term. Or maybe she only specifically loses her memory about things important to me, since she can never tell me where she kept them! Anyways, I’m looking forward to talking to Hike a lot.’

“Then – ‘It feels weird to write something like this, since I am still probably an actual kid in the real world. But today, I was very proud of Hike. He stood up for what he thought was right, and even convinced me to change my decision of not helping the kingdom which has allowed us to live in their boundaries. He is not like Hess at all, since he doesn’t slack off all the time, and that was always more than enough to make me like him. Seriously, though, I love that kid. One day, he will be better and more important than all of us. I can feel it. He has a heart that none of us do; not even his sister. I’m glad I got to meet him.’”

Sylvia flipped the pages to find any other notes she thought were important. As she did, my eyes moved to Hess, who was still sitting on the floor. Even though she did not seem to be reacting too much to the diary, I could see a small hint of smile on her face. She had also pulled her entire body very close to herself, so maybe she did not want to be seen right now. From what I had understood, she was not able to see right now, so it was better not to look at her either. I turned back to Sylvia.

She stopped at a page, and started, “‘Ginzari is a strong man. Very strong. So much so, that I want to ask him to teach me how to fight as well as him. But as soon as I think something like that, I consider Hess. She loves me, and she taught me so much. If I asked for his help, that would be like disrespecting her. Like telling her that she wasn’t enough for me. That is not true. I would not be here if not for her, quite literally. That day, I would have been killed. I cannot let someone so important to me feel bad about herself. Even Hike would be sad if I did. I need to get stronger, much stronger, and tell her that she will always be the best for me. If Hess sees me as weak and powerless, she will blame herself. She always blames herself for everything. I can’t let her do that.’”

Didn’t that…fit too well with her story? I couldn’t stop myself from considering it, even after all that had happened. My eyes landed on his dead body. Didn’t these made-up stories usually contain some obvious plot holes? Until now, there was nothing.

Sylvia was hesitating a bit as she turned the pages after that, and stopped once more, “‘I’m stupid, I’m so stupid. This world is hell itself. I can’t stop thinking in a way that I don’t want to. I spit at strength. It isn’t important. And yet, I yearn for it. I don’t want it. Any of it. Stop, already. I don’t want to be the strongest. I don’t want to be the greatest. None of it. Let me be with the people I love, that’s all I wish. If not my world, then this one. Let me live in peace without thoughts that I can’t even control. Stop turning me into someone I am not, I beg you. I do not want to be a strong person. I do not…’ It continues the same phrase for the entire page.”

Hess moved a little, but her general position stayed the same. Everyone looked at her, but nothing happened after that.

The book was moved to the next page, and Sylvia paused for a second before speaking, “‘I killed Hike. Why did I do that? It’s because I wanted to. But I loved him so much. He was the best person ever. I hurt Hess too. So much. It’s because I hate her and stupid ideals. But I love her, so, so much. I just want to be with the two of them in peace. Why did I have to come this world, out of any other? I don’t want it. Break the fantasy. Please. This isn’t the world I dreamed of. I want to get stronger, and I don’t want to. I don’t understand anything anymore. Who even have I become?’”

I froze.

What was going on? I kept looking at his dead body. No one else had their eyes on it, but I couldn’t get them off. I…didn’t know anymore.

She started another entry, “‘My friends came to me to help, and I killed them to get stronger too. I want to try and fight more people to make sure that there is nobody stronger than me. This is my fantasy, so how could I not be the best? I have to be. That is the rule. I also tried to get information on Hess, and she has apparently joined Ginzari’s band. That is good. I feel happy that she is safe and healthy. Ginzari is a strong, good man. He will keep her with the utmost respect. I know it. One of these days, I will go to fight and kill both of them too. They are strong, and if she is learning with Ginzari, then she will also get stronger. The idea to fight them together is most thrilling. There’s nothing I want more than her happiness.’”

Sylvia closed the book and held it in her hands for a while.

Nobody said anything.

Hess, surprisingly, still had no reaction to any of it. I knew that she must have been thinking something, but there was no way she was going to tell it to any of us. I, myself, was in the same position.

I wasn’t sure of anything that had happened in the last few days. None of it made complete sense. There were no obvious plot holes in his story. The two things that that suggested was that either the writer had worked really hard to make this good enough to fool us, or…I didn’t want to think of that possibility.

Stage Directions (Day 31) –

Cry

Everyone started murmuring.

This was the first time I had seen a direction demand something like that. Usually, it ended up giving some free reign to us. This time, though, it was an order. We had to follow it, or die. There was no circumventing it in any manner. But that wasn’t a problem. Because I was already on the brink.

For most people, it wasn’t difficult.

After all, it didn’t matter who they were crying for. Perhaps some cried for a friend who had died in this attack, and some for Kaisel. I…didn’t know. Tears flowed, but I had no idea why. My heart was heavy after his death, but I hadn’t cried like Sylvia had after he died. I felt sad, I felt burdened, responsible. But the physical expressions for it hadn’t been easy.

Then, why now?

I wanted to believe that Kaisel’s death had finally hit me. I would never see him again, never hear his soothing voice. He would never teach me magic again. There would be nobody to tell us to calm down when others asked us to get angry. Nobody would be by my side even when others weren’t. He was gone…forever. Without any pomp, without any fanfare. His life had been stolen from him.

Or maybe the tears were for Jillesha. I hated myself for considering it, but it was the truth. I could not understand the man we had all helped kill. Was it an act? Or had the lines between the theatre and the real world become so blurred to him? Was he just a power-hungry maniac who had come to this world, or been forced to become like that? There was no way to know anymore. His life had been played with; his memories forever tarnished. Whoever he used to be, would never be found out.

And perhaps yet, the tears were for me.

A couple of hours later, we left the cave, and returned to the camp.