There were a lot of holes in Hess’ story. But it wasn’t her fault, or any maliciousness, which caused those holes to form. No, it was just because she probably didn’t understand Jillesha to his core. Yesterday, I had seen his true self, and her story made that much more sense to me. Wanting to get strong to save his people? There was nothing like that. He just had a power fantasy to be the greatest person in this world. Because he was special like that. It was obvious. The only problem was trying to get Hess to understand that.

Maybe their love had been real. There was a chance. But that did not change the fact that he was a different person now. Or rather, he had revealed his base instincts and was now flaunting them with his bandit group. He wasn’t the one who was trying to get a good life while simultaneously trying to be the hero of this world. He had been outed as a maniac, and was embracing the role now that everything had gone slant. Before the day ended, I needed to tell this to Hess. It would require me to also tell her about my problem with emotions, but I was willing to do that. She had been a good friend to me, and I needed to live up to the version of me she wanted to see.

There was just one thing that she did not need to be corrected about. Something that I and Sylvia would have tried to stop her from doing just a few hours ago. There was no doubt about it now, though. Hess was the one who needed to kill Jillesha. Otherwise, none of this would have any meaning. I was certain that God would find some way to ruin it, but she was strong enough to push past the pitiable misery that he would likely create.

It was close to evening now. The whole camp was abuzz with activity. Mercenaries were roaming from one place to another with armor, weapons, and other supplies. Some, who were more dedicated to strategies than others, were helping Ginzari map out the exact step-by-step, minute plans for the different attacks. That would be done soon, and he would probably announce proper positions and roles to the entire camp. Typhen was training with Hess, who seemed serious, but energetic. Sylvia was the same with Kaisel. She hadn’t spoken much after hearing the story, but she had gotten much more willing to join the fight with all of her strength.

I was just sitting in a corner of the training grounds. My sword was lying in front of me, ready to be used, but I wasn’t sure if I wanted to. The only way I had been able to do anything against Jillesha was by using magic. Of course, the time Hess had suggested meant that I did stand a chance of getting to use it, but the majority of the fights would still be done using the sword. After seeing what I had been able to do with magic, I wasn’t sure if I would be able to have the same confidence with my sword again.

“You’re his student?” A female voice suddenly called out to me.

I looked up to see who it was, and then stood up. It was his mother. Wellath’s.

“Y-yes.”

“I see.” She did not have any expression, “The others tell me that you weren’t even able to hold a sword properly before my son taught you.”

“Yes.”

“But you can use one now, can’t you?”

“Yes.”

She gave a small smile, melancholic, “That’s good, then. I’m sure he was more than happy to see you get that far.”

“He was, ma’am. I’m sorry I couldn’t put it to use for a good reason, though.”

She shook her head, “You didn’t kill him, did you? I heard what happened. Trying to save yourself is a normal thing to do. Not everyone thinks like the people over here. Wellath would have agreed. Because even he would have thought about himself first in a situation like that.”

I didn’t really have a reply. This was not how I had expected this conversation to go. I was sure that she would have been angry.

“I probably would have been really angry at you before.” She looked at the ground, “But you see, now that he isn’t here anymore, I get what he meant. I always told him to worry about other people as much as he worried about himself, and he always told me I was wrong. Right now, I wouldn’t really mind if he had actually thought of himself first when the time came. Maybe he was thinking that he would make me proud by saving you all.”

“I’m sorry.” I whispered.

She walked closer to me with the same smile on her face.

Her hands came to my face and held it, “Ideals always claim lives in the end, child. Wellath knew that, and he knew the value of his own life. But he lost in the end. This time, I don’t want someone else to fall prey to the same traps. Be who you are, till the end. There’s nothing wrong with trying to save yourself before someone else. I’m sure your mother would eventually agree, no matter how brash she sounds right now.”

Huh?

I felt something stuck in my throat, trying to crawl all the way to the top. I gulped once, but it did not go away. I tried to push it down, but it kept moving up. It grew in intensity. The more I fought back, the stronger it got. It started to interfere with my breathing. Wellath’s mother’s hands grew tighter along my face as she my face towards her shoulder, allowing it to rest there. Then, I gave up. The thing in my throat burst through out of my mouth. I shouted once before wrapping my hands around her.

For the first time in this world, I actually cried. I kept holding her, unable to let go. A few people turned around to see me. Even the people I knew. Hess, Typhen, Kaisel, Sylvia. I could see all of them from the corner of my eyes, but I did not let go off the woman.

“Ryworn, was it? Don’t die, got it?” She told me, “If there is one thing he probably did not want to do in the end, it was to die. So, go beyond him. It doesn’t matter what any of these people tell you about righteousness. No thought is worth more than a life. Don’t you dare die.”

I nodded in her sleeves. Her hands went all the way around my head and she rested her own on mine.

This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.

What was so different about this time? Why had this made me feel so sad, after all this time? What was it about the last few times, that did not evoke any emotions? For once, none of those questions popped up in my head. I don’t know the exact time for which I stayed with her like that, but by the time it was over, my mind was clear.

That night, I sat down and ate food with all the members of the band for the first time.

Surprisingly enough, not a lot of them came and talked to me. That was a relief. Typhen and Sylvia seemed to be busy talking about something, and Hess was with Ginzari. Kaisel sat beside me to make sure I did not feel alone, but we did not talk much.

Most of the conversation we had, revolved around magic. Making sure not to directly acknowledge the fact that I was using it, we talked about things that I had thought were interesting. All of the questions that I had thought of asking him a few days ago, did not seem very important in that moment. I could always ask him later. Right now, I did not want to let go off the sense of relief that Wellath’s mother had given me.

The whole family had left some time after that. They did not want to stay here for too long, but were hoping that we would win against the bandits. They also took both of the bodies with them, which Ginzari was pleased to see. He told them that Wellath was always their child first, and a mercenary second. I wondered what his mother thought about that, given what she had told me earlier in the same day. Anyways, she looked alright in the end, as she left.

Before going, she just gave me a warm smile and patted my head once. I thanked her for everything, and she just nodded. But she did not tell me anything. She probably wanted the words she told me in the training grounds to be the last words that stuck with me. I was sure that they would.

I finished my dinner, and thanked Kaisel for the hospitality. He said that it was nothing, and told me to go and rest to prepare for the battle tomorrow. This was the first scaled, planned battle that I would be participating in, so it was bound to make me nervous. Ginzari had been delayed, so the positions would be finalized and given tomorrow morning. Thus, there was nothing left to do. Except for just that one thing.

In my tent, I waited for the time to pass. One hour, two, three. I read that book about sword fighting in the time that I had, and then immediately got out of the tent once it was two o’clock.

Around the camp, the mood was glum. Given the plans we all had for the next day, nobody was in the mood to fool around with their friends. But there was this internal clock that made people wake up at this time, so they did not have a choice except sitting together and waiting for it to end. I moved around, trying to find Hess.

Eventually, I found her in the training grounds with Sylvia. Both of them were lying on the floor, looking at the sky.

I went and stood beside them.

“Hey, Ryworn!” Sylvia smiled, “I was telling Hess about the stars. She doesn’t believe me, though. Tell her, will you?”

“Feel free.” Hess gestured towards the spot right beside her. I got down there, and laid on the ground.

The sky looked different today. The stars had moved, obviously, but there also seemed to be a lot more than usual. Probably because the bonfire which was usually lit around this time, wasn’t there tonight. Nobody was using it, after all.

I told Hess what I had told Sylvia that day. She did not believe me at first, but then telling her some more things eventually made her understand. She definitely wasn’t as impressed as Sylvia had been, but she seemed intrigued by it nonetheless.

“He never told me all that, you know?” Hess said, “Even though both of you are probably from the same world.”

“About…him. There’s something I need to tell you, actually,” I decided not to waste any time meandering in conversation. This was important. She needed to know what that man truly was.

And I told her. Everything. About how we had such stories in our world, and how they had affected me when I first came here. About how they still affected me and my emotions. About my theory regarding what Jillesha was like. It was much easier than I thought it would be, even though Sylvia was also present there. I don’t know how much she was affected by this, but I couldn’t fully focus on that. Hess was the one who was the focus of this conversation. She was the one who I needed to get through to.

Once we finished, the smile on her face did not disappear. She was still looking at the stars without any reaction to the information.

“So, what do you mean by all that?” She asked.

“I just…I don’t want you to think that it was your fault, or that it will be your fault when you go to kill him. He’s always been like that, no matter what face he put on in front of you.” I tried to explain.

“It is my fault then, isn’t it? More than ever. I wasn’t able to judge his actual character and did not kill him when I should have. Now, so many people are dead because of that.” She replied.

“Isn’t that this whole world, though?” I asked, “We can never judge anyone on our first meeting, because there is a huge chance that they are acting based on their directions. That doesn’t mean that you have to blame yourself for it. It’s just how he decides to fool us. You helped me a lot, Hess. I just want to help you back, now that I have the chance.”

“You’re asking me to kill him like I’m killing a demon.” Hess said, “I can’t do that, you know that. I’ll kill him, there is no doubt about that. But, of course, I will feel bad about it. You’d be the same if you eventually had to kill someone you love too, right? When you have no choice but to do it. It doesn’t matter how much of a monster you make them out to be. You’ll hesitate.”

“Yeah, but.”

“Thanks, Ryworn.” She looked at me, “I had always considered something like what you told me, but never really thought about it seriously. Even if its conjecture, its good enough. But trust me, when the time comes, I’ll cut him down. He might be stronger now, but I am too. Even if its my mistake; no, especially because its my mistake to have brought him this far, I’ll correct it.”

“We’re going to win tomorrow.” Sylvia said.

“Of course.” Hess reassured her.

We stayed there for a bit longer, looking at the stars. Sylvia kept telling her about things that she personally found interesting, and by the time the unmonitored time ended, and we left, she probably had a new partner to stargaze with. It felt weird that I had started a whole new trend in this world. Hopefully, these people got to go far enough to see these things themselves.

The day arrived.

Hess would be the one to kill Jillesha, while everyone else would support her. Ginzari, especially. He wanted to do that as a way of apologizing for not listening to her the first time. Now, it made sense that he was probably doing it because he did not want Hess to feel hurt, but the lines had been drawn pretty clearly now.

It was the perfect plan. The perfect wrap-up to this story. Hess would finally be able to get back at him for all that destruction and pain he had caused her. Her brother’s spirit would hopefully rest in peace.

And exactly because it was so perfect, a part of me wasn’t very surprised to see the directions for the next day.

Current Story – Jillesha

Character – Ryworn

Role – Major

Stage Directions (Day 31) –

Witness – Before You Embark on a Journey of Revenge, Dig Two Graves

Once I got that message, I went straight to Ginzari. On the way, I apologized to Wellath’s mother. I was going to change just a little bit. Maybe this would ultimately lead to her death, maybe it would scar my brain forever. But I was willing to take that chance for her; right now. I was willing to bet on that other chance of her life being saved due to me speaking up this time.

There was no way I would repeat the same mistake twice.