Xie Yi-jun

1302 years after The Long Night

Wúmeng

There were too many things to do, far too much to plan, and nowhere near enough time for Xie Yi-jun to even recall what sleep was. After having spent the last two weeks traveling back and forth between Hêi'àn City and Wúmeng, making sure that their supplies and the line they held at the base of Hong Zhuí lasted, the young King felt as if the moment one task was finished, three more sprung up.

With so much pressure and so many lives in his hands, he was up most nights even on days he was allowed some rest. Doubts and worries getting the best of him, Yi-jun had wandered around town for hours until close to three, eventually finding himself standing on the pier, gazing out at the stars towards the horizon...

As his thoughts drifted both to the future and the past at once, he couldn't help but remember the first time he'd been here, over two months prior. How untrusting and cold he'd been when offered help they desperately needed.

I should express my gratitude to them again, Yi-jun mused. Not only has Wúmeng's allyship been invaluable in terms of medical aid and supplies, but more than half of their people have already come to Hêi'àn City, to stand with us. To fight when they are not soldiers, simply because they believe...

In what? In me? In peace, more likely.

Xie Yi-jun wished to think that he was a peaceful King. A good leader, someone people admired or could look up to.

Even without that, he thought... Good people will fight against tyranny. It isn't about me. It's about them, and their right to a better life-

"Aren't you cold?"

The King jumped. He hadn't even heard anyone behind him!

The man only chuckled softly; "Apologies... did you want to be alone?"

Staring blankly at Jin Songcai's beautiful pale face in the moonlight, the blue of his eyes brilliant in contrast to the white robes he was wearing, and the healer's hair pinned up on one side, Yi-jun could only shake his head.

Maybe he was too exhausted to formulate words, or perhaps Songcai's presence was throwing him off, but the King remained silent for several minutes, the healer coming to stand beside him on the dock and stare at the sky.

Xie Yi-jun always liked being around the man. He liked it so much, that he might even say he desired him-

No, that's a blatant lie. I do desire him. I don't think there's a soul on this earth that wouldn't meet Songcai and not want him, in one way or another...

But the King was too busy. He was too tired. He didn't have anything in him right now to be fantasizing about someone. There was just no time.

Jin Songcai finally spoke again after a while, his breath stirring the air and causing little swirls of steam that Yi-jun watched fade one by one...

"I've actually come to offer my assistance,"

The King turned to him, blinking in confusion, but Songcai continued;

"Forgive me if it's not my place, but I've noticed your insomnia has been worsening these days. It's not healthy to stay awake like this."

The King ended up frowning, looking away and wanting to roll his eyes. He refrained...

"I know. There's just too much going on in my head-"

"I can help with that, if you'll let me."

Glancing over at the man, Yi-jun felt a part of him, a particularly large part, wanting to give in. He wanted to admit how exhausted he was. To maybe find some comfort with Songcai. To maybe fall asleep beside him-

He's not talking about sleeping with you, fool! He's offering his help as a healer, and you're being rude and stupid by not accepting heartily!!

Xie Yi-jun knew it was true. He'd felt only a portion of what Jin Songcai's abilities were before, but never had the man truly healed him. It was both a frightening and exciting idea. He was most afraid that if he let it happen, he might end up saying something very not good.

When I'm tired like this I either turn stupid or mean. I don't like the idea of either of those sides of me being seen by Jin Songcai-

"Well?" The man said, "What'll it be?"

Still not trusting himself to speak, Yi-jun nodded finally, heart being filled with butterflies when the healer smiled at him.

How is he this lovely?! It really isn't fair-

Following Songcai as the man led him back into town, Yi-jun didn't even realise that they weren't headed in the direction of The Sanctuary, or to his own temporary residence, but to a part of Wúmeng he'd only ever passed by. The healer's quarters...

Feeling as if he was stepping into a place he shouldn't, the King held his breath and tried not to make a sound as they went inside.

The prominent healers of Wúmeng lived modestly, together in a large house. Jin Songcai's room was the furthest to the left, and as all of their rooms had their own doors, they hurried inside away from the cold without waking anyone else.

Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

It's so... warm.

Standing rather awkwardly in the doorway looking at Songcai's space, Xie Yi-jun felt his heart warm as well as his hands; the small iron fireplace in the corner sending flickers of light dancing across every wall.

"Please," Songcai said softly. "Come in..."

The room was small; containing only a neatly made bed and a desk tucked beside it. What really drew Yi-jun's attention however, were all the books.

Arranged akin to a library, every stack, every shelf seemed to be organised perfectly. Not one thing laying out of place. Also on the walls and hanging from the ceiling, were various strings of herbs, remedy bottles and other things he didn't recognise.

It was certainly the home of a healer, one whose work was never far away. The King saw so much of Songcai in every little detail; from the freshly picked flowers on his desk, to the bamboo hat that was tied to the post of his bed...

He must have spent so much time here studying over the years, Yi-jun realised, staring down at the part of the floor in front of the low desk, where imprints from Songcai's knees had worn down the wood over so much time.

Definitely the most dedicated person I've ever seen-

"Sit wherever you feel comfortable," Songcai said at last, gesturing to the many cushions upon the floor, then proceeding to go over to the shelf of oddly shaped, multicolored bottles by the door and rifle through them.

Xie Yi-jun decided that anywhere he chose would be better than continuing to stand there, so he went to settle down upon one of the pillows, crossing his legs and trying to take a deep, steadying breath.

Songcai was humming, seeming to be looking for something specific. When he found it, the man muttered a quiet; aha! And then went to sit across from Yi-jun on the floor.

Inside, with the fire burning right beside him, Xie Yi-jun was beginning to sweat. Jin Songcai had already taken off both his shoes and outer robe, the former act causing the poor King to blush and look away.

He's... smaller than he looks, when he's not wearing all those thick robes, Yi-jun mused... Delicate. Like these sweet-smelling flowers on his desk-

"I found the perfect thing for your insomnia!" The man said cheerfully, holding out the bottle he'd grabbed and nodding.

Yi-jun hesitated, so Songcai smiled.

"Don't worry. No side effects, I promise. As long as you only take a sip..."

The King did so slowly, deciding he might as well give it a try. When the dark liquid first touched his tongue, his eyes suddenly widened, Songcai's smile also turning into a full-on grin. The man chuckled, stretching his neck and sighing gently, and when Yi-jun had taken hs sip and passed it back, Songcai too took a long drink of the bitter stuff, surprising Yi-jun who then stated simply;

"It's rum."

Songcai placed the cork back in the bottle, sat it down and nodded slowly.

"Yes, it is." Then he looked back at Yi-jun and seemed to shrug, "A hundred years old and made on the little island. The best cure for insomnia, among other things..."

Xie Yi-jun blinked a few times, not knowing how to react. Maybe a part of him thought Songcai didn't drink, though he supposed that his assumptions of the man were likely all false.

I wish I had time to get to know him better...

Eyelids fluttering softly, the low light in the room making all the shadows on Songcai's face seem more dramatic and beautiful, Yi-jun realised that if he wanted to, and used the time he had now, perhaps he could learn more about the healer after all.

Muscles relaxing, the tension he was holding in his chest fading away, the King was conscious of a kind of intimate connection building between them both, simply because they were alone in such a personal place.

As the fire crackled, Yi-jun at last took a chance.

"I'm so... curious about you."

Songcai had closed his eyes, but he was listening. Upon hearing Yi-jun's words the healer smiled softly and replied;

"About me? I'm an open book," then his blue eyes fluttered open. "I find I'm curious about you, Xie Yi-jun."

Unable to stop his heart from racing at Songcai's words, the King found that he'd inched closer without even meaning to, as if he was unconsciously wishing to be as close as possible to Songcai's eyes. To really see how deep they went...

If I get too close, I might fall in-

"What about me?" His voice sounded strange.

Songcai seemed different now. Moving slower, closing his eyes frequently. Yi-jun wondered if it could be because of the drink. It was very strong, but the King had a high tolerance and almost never got drunk. Jin Songcai? Unclear...

The healer leaned closer too-

"For your achievements, you're very young."

Yi-jun had to laugh, "So are you." Then he did roll his eyes-

"My achievements? I did nothing but inherit a Kingdom. All my merits were handed to me, it's nothing special."

Jin Songcai looked flustered by that, immediately saying;

"Anyone can inherit a Kingdom. Not everyone has what it takes to lead it..."

After staring into the man's blue eyes for some time, unsure if he was blinking at all, Yi-jun finally realised, okay... maybe I am a little tipsy.

He was beginning to imagine what it would be like to move closer just a little more. To see what would happen. If Songcai's eyes would widen, or if they would close. Maybe he would want me too, or maybe not. There might be nothing between them but Yi-jun's own imagination. What a sad idea...

Moments later, the King realised that in the silence, in the seconds between breaths, he had reached up a hand without noticing and was running a strand of Songcai's silvery-blonde hair between his fingers. What was most shocking? When he realised what he was doing, he didn't stop. And... Songcai didn't pull away.

Instead, they held eye-contact, Yi-jun beginning to feel that it wasn't a fire that had been lit in the room, but one in his heart.

His hair is soft, and his eyes are pretty. Nothing makes sense, but I know I'm not making up the way he's looking at me...

Swallowing, the King whispered mindlessly; "Your eyes, and your hair... are so different... so beautiful."

Jin Songcai didn't blink, only answering with the most velvety voice he'd ever heard as the man's gaze drifted toward Yi-jun's lips.

"It's a genetic defect. One in a million... you think it's beautiful?"

Nodding, the King was only seconds away from easing his hand around Songcai's neck and leaning in just a little more, when Songcai stopped him with a gentle hand upon Yi-jun's chest, pushing him away.

Eyes darting everywhere except to him, the healer stammered-

"Wait, I... don't know-"

And that was when Yi-jun finally understood that he wasn't the only one confused about his feelings. It felt gratifying and miserable all at once, the pain from Songcai's rejection only dulled because of how it seemed the man was so conflicted by his choice.

Xie Yi-jun sat back at once, still sober enough to understand roughly what was happening, and that Songcai wasn't willing.

Blinking a few times, it came as a surprise to both of them when the King abruptly stood, moving towards the door and stopping when Songcai exclaimed-

"Wait! Yi-jun, please..."

The King turned and smiled politely at the man, not daring to stay any longer.

"Songcai," he said softly, not bitter, only blushing. "Thank you for the drink and the company, but I should go. I think I'll try to go to sleep."

The man, still sitting on the floor, stared at him strangely. As if he was both regretful and relieved that Yi-jun was leaving.

"Oh, okay." Songcai lowered his eyes shyly, "Good... good night."

Xie Yi-jun nodded, opening the door and slipping back into the cold night air. As he walked with his hands in his pockets all the way back to his own room, he couldn't even find it within him to regret what had just happened.

Because somewhere in Jin Songcai, he is curious about me. I don't know how far that curiosity goes. I don't even know if he was aware that I was seconds from actually kissing him! But that look, in his eyes... the way he smiled and said my name-

Collapsing into bed and squeezing his pillow half to death, Yi-jun laughed loudly, all alone as he felt every worry, stress, and conflict in his head dissolve entirely.

Oh, please let tonight be real...

The King fell asleep in his shoes, grinning foolishly. Thinking the stray, sweet thought, that even if tonight was all a dream, at least that meant he was finally getting some rest.