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Chapter 68

Xie Yi-jun

2005 years after The Long Night

The Howling Cave

After hearing such a thing, it was impossible not to sense the whirling emotions now at war with each other inside the King's body. Xie Yi-jun felt his own horror and shock at the atrocities Su Lan had endured, mingling bitterly with his own regrets. That he'd doubted him. That he hadn't somehow known, and helped him break free of Meng Bai's hold...

Yi-jun stood there expressionless, for some time after his old friend had finished recounting the story. The King's tension finally relaxed somewhat when he felt Wen Reian place a comforting hand on his shoulder, whispering softly-

"Are you... okay?"

Reian seemed to bite his lip after he spoke, like he wasn't sure if it was the right thing to say. Xie Yi-jun didn't know either.

After several more minutes of trying to wrap his mind around even a fraction of the information he now had, the King realised with a rush of sadness that even after finally understanding what had happened to Su Lan, and it not being in any way his fault, Xie Yi-jun was still furious at him.

Maybe I'll always feel like this, he thought, swallowing uncomfortably.

Because in the end, he is the one who cursed me to being alive without Songcai...

At last, warm brown eyes caught Yi-jun's attention again and his heart sank with the painful thought that, yes... without Su Lan's curse, he would have been saved learning of his lover's tragic death, but it would have been at the cost of never meeting Wen Reian.

My heart breaks just imagining choosing between the two. Such a thing has never even crossed my mind, and it never should again-

"Wha-"

Reian gasped as Yi-jun suddenly caught him in his arms, hugging him close and burying his face in the boy's sweet smelling hair.

"Yi-jun? It's... okay, just take a second to breathe. I'm here,"

Hearing Wen Rei's voice like this, muffled and surprised, the King tore away from him with effort finally and let out a deep sigh. With those lovely dark black eyes blinking up at him, Yi-jun could only nod.

Yes, it's okay. I have you. Everything will be-

Reian's gaze drifted away from him. The boy frowned, his whole posture changing in an instant as he pulled away from Xie Yi-jun.

"What are you-"

A shiver started at the back of the King's neck as he looked behind him, but saw only the darkness of the tunnel they'd entered through. Turning to Reian, he saw that the boy was still staring at nothing, shaking his head and seeming to be turning white with fear...

"Wen Rei?" The King took a step closer and immediately Reian held his hand out.

Behind the boy, Su Lan was still kneeling upon the floor, unblinking and unmoving. Yi-jun didn't know if he would ever be the same, but it was clear that whatever was happening to Reian was also affecting his old friend as well.

Su Lan was muttering something quietly, under his breath. All Yi-jun could see was the man's lips moving faster than he could understand, and Reian was still shaking his head, as if he was hearing and seeing something Yi-jun couldn't. Something deeply upsetting.

Not knowing what to do but feeling unease spread through his chest all the same, the King tried again to get Reian's attention...

"Wen Reian?" He called, "Can you look at me?"

"No-"

But the boy wasn't speaking to him, instead talking to whatever he could see behind the King. Wen Rei's voice rose in pitch and volume as he took another hasty step away.

"No! You can't, please don't!"

At the same time, Su Lan's muttering began to look as if he was screaming in silence. An eerily aggressive-looking action that only frightened Yi-jun more because of how the man still remained absolutely silent...

"Reian, what is-"

The King tried to reach for him, but as he did Reian gasped and ran toward the wall, turning his back and hiding his face as he cried out again and again.

"Please! Please don't tell! What are you doing?! Please!"

Yi-jun didn't care what was going on, upon hearing Reian's painful shouts and seeing the way he'd begun to beat his hands against the wall, the King dashed forward, grabbing the boy's shoulders and pulling him into his arms.

"No! No, don't!" Reian was practically choking for air, his legs suddenly giving out beneath him as Yi-jun followed him down to the floor and held him tight.

"Reian?!" He called.

The boy was in his lap, shaking his head and thrashing as he tried to get away. One of his hands shot out and Yi-jun hissed sharply in pain as the boy's fingernails dug into his cheek.

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He caught both of Reian's wrists, holding them firmly as he searched his eyes for any sense that he recognised where he was.

Suddenly, still gasping like he was inhaling water instead of air, Wen Reian said one word. One name. And at that moment, Yi-jun didn't know anymore if he was dreaming or awake...

"Songcai-"

Blinking, gazing down into Reian's eyes, the boy's face now streaked with tears, the King didn't even realise Reian was conscious yet or that Yi-jun's grip on him was becoming too tight, not until Wen Rei whined softly, saying;

"That hurts..."

Afraid to so much as breathe for fear he would suddenly wake from whatever nightmare this was, Xie Yi-jun stayed so still that a muscle under his eye twitched, looking at Reian's strangely unrecognisable face as the King finally exhaled the words-

"Are you seeing Jin Songcai?"

Yi-jun felt his heart ache at the mere thought of it, then he felt it shatter when Reian nodded. Unable to process what that meant, still clutching onto the boy for dear life, the King felt his jaw tighten so much that his teeth ached.

"He's here?"

Then the King's entire world shifted on his axis, as he spoke out loud the one thing he didn't want to know, but would die from if he didn't ask...

"Reian," he said. "Are you Jin Songcai?!"

Wen Rei had stopped struggling, only looking up into Yi-jun's narrowed eyes and whimpering softly as he tried to take back his hands. The King didn't let go.

"No," the boy replied.

Still looking frightened as if he'd seen a ghost, sweat beading upon his pale brow, Reian shook his head and closed his eyes. Maybe he was actually hoping he could wake up...

Yi-jun couldn't stand it any longer. He couldn't stand not knowing why Reian had whispered Songcai's name-

"Ah! Please, you're hurting me!"

Reian's plea was hardly reaching him, all of Yi-jun's mind and body folding in on itself until only one thing mattered. Before he knew the answer, he could do or say nothing else.

"You see him? Where is he, is he here now?!"

Reian was biting down on his lower lip, gaze continuously flickering away from the King as he tried once again to pry his arms away.

"I can't..." Reian groaned. "I can't tell you!"

Yi-jun shouted then, without thinking-

"Wen Reian! If you're seeing Jin Songcai... what does that mean?!"

He was holding the boy so tightly now that he could see Reian's hands turning pale and his skin cold, yet he couldn't stop.

"In my dreams," the boy finally whimpered.

Yi-jun went quiet, everything around him falling away to be replaced by Reian's frantic, jumbled words-

"He's been visiting me in my dreams! Ever since you woke up, I used to see him almost every night! Talk to him, learn from him... he's the reason why I've been able to heal so fast, and he's how I healed you!"

As if he'd been stung by an insect, the King fell away from Wen Reian, collapsing onto the floor on all fours and leaning his head against it, fists pressed hard against the stone. Bubbling up in his throat, a scream grew. It grew so fast and so painfully that Yi-jun could almost feel it shaking the entire cave.

He screamed in anguish, everything inside him hurt and confused. He didn't even sit up as he growled at Wen Reian-

"Songcai speaks to you! He's inside your mind and he talks to you! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?!!"

Then Yi-jun felt hands upon his back, trying to pull him up. He could sense Reian's aura, that beautiful, comforting presence that he always felt was so similar to Jin-cai's...

The King felt his heart pounding so hard in his chest that he nearly thought it might leap free from his body, and as Reian begged him again to sit up, Yi-jun ended up scrambling to his feet, backing away from the boy with his panicky, tear-stained face, unable to look at him.

"Yi-jun!" Reian cried, "Please listen..."

The King moved again as the boy reached out. Reian's face fell, still pale and hollow, but now it was as if he didn't see Songcai anymore.

"You've been aware of him for this long," Yi-jun grimaced.

"Some part of him was still alive, and you kept this from me?! You know what I would give to have anything left of him, Wen Reian! How could you?!"

Reian jumped as Yi-jun yelled again, the boy's hands even coming up to his ears, an act that made the King want to scream even more and weep all at the same time.

Feeling as if his world was crashing down around him, it was all he could do to keep his rage held inside as Reian replied.

"I didn't think it could really be him!" The boy was crying, his expression twisted.

"I thought it was just a dream, but then it kept happening. And I would wake up, knowing how to do things, as if he had taught me all night. I woke up knowing things that I couldn't know otherwise. And I only kept it a secret, not because I wanted you all to myself. I kept it a secret because I didn't want to give you false hope-"

The King wanted to laugh at the same time!

"False hope?! False, I- Wen Reian, I would have died to have any hope at all, even if it was false hope..."

Reian didn't respond for a while. Finally, Xie Yi-jun had taken enough deep breaths to manage a very carefully constructed sentence, his fists still clenched tightly at his sides.

"You were speaking to Songcai just now? What was he saying? What did you not want him to say?"

"Yi-jun, please-"

"No!"

When Reian jumped again at his loud voice, the King felt a stabbing sensation in his chest, clawing him apart...

"You've been acting strange ever since you returned from the trip," he finally said.

Reian's eyes widened even more-

"What happened there?"

The boy's dark eyes closed suddenly, then Yi-jun watched as Wen Rei's hands came up over his ears again, but there was no sound to be heard.

Yi-jun whirled around, trying desperately to search for some shape or shadow or movement that he wasn't seeing, but all that was there in the cave was Reian, Su Lan, and himself.

The King's gaze fixed on Su Lan again, still speaking in silence. The man's snake-like green eyes gleamed in the dark, and then as if by magic or a force he couldn't see, the man stood.

"Ah!"

The cry was issued from Reian's lips, the boy squeezing his eyes tight and gritting his teeth, acting as if someone was shouting...

"Are you hearing him again?!" Yi-jun demanded, rushing again to grab him.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, the King knew that Su Lan was approaching them.

What stayed lodged firmly in place however was Yi-jun's ever rising grief and confusion over what was happening-

"Wen Reian!" He called as he shook the boy's shoulders, "Wen Rei?!"

The King only had a split second to realise that Su Lan was coming directly for Reian with his hand outstretched, still mouthing nonsense and looking as demonic as ever...

Panic slid through Xie Yi-jun, instinct taking over, and as Su Lan reached out for Wen Rei, Yi-jun made the only choice that he could.

I couldn't choose Reian over Songcai, or Songcai over Reian. But I will choose either of them over myself. And that's a decision I would make any day-

Yi-jun felt the impact of Su Lan's hand against his chest, just moments after the King pushed Wen Reian away.

Su Lan was not awake, it was clear that whatever was happening to him was not by choice, and so Yi-jun didn't have it within himself to be sad or surprised or angry, when he felt that familiar suffocating feeling in his lungs that he'd felt once before, that day in the forest...

"Xie Yi-jun!"

The King heard Reian scream his name and though he couldn't move; his body stiffening and turning so cold he almost lost vision immediately, Yi-jun was still able to witness Wen Rei pushing Su Lan out of the way, watching Yi-jun's body turn to stone right before his very eyes.

Reian rushed around, trying everything to stop it. He screamed, he cried, he pushed all of his energy and spirit into Yi-jun's body, but nothing would work...

"Yi-jun-" he gasped, with tears streaming.

The King had lost sensation in most of his body, knowing that it would reach his brain soon. He took one last look at Wen Rei, wishing he would stop crying so that Yi-jun's last image would be one of the boy's smiling face.

But all the King saw as his neck, his head, and then his face turned to stone, was Reian's tears and how he never stopped shouting his name...

And that, that desperate scream through loud sobs? That was the last thing Yi-jun knew.