Joe found that dealing with Kelly was surprisingly easy once she stopped flaunting her goods at every opportunity. Yes, she had a rotten, greedy, and selfish personality, but that was precisely why appeasing her was so simple. All he and Maggie had to do was to keep providing her with things to consume and she’d just do that instead of bothering the two of them. At first they distracted her with a ridiculous quantity and variety of food, courtesy of the yacht’s restaurant. However, her insatiable appetite and bottomless pit of a stomach proved this could not last until she got off at the cruise’s next stop in six days’ time. Not only was it putting a dent in Maggie’s savings, but the ship literally did not have enough food for both Kelly and the other passengers.
Thankfully, Joe thought of something else she could consume instead. Namely, the thousands upon thousands of hours’ worth of media in his personal library. Unlike the visit to Lancaster, the man had remembered to bring a hard copy of all the serials, soap operas, movies, and games he owned at home. The yacht had its own local virtual reality network and Kelly’s host was a British citizen with all the necessary implants, so it was surprisingly easy for Joe to share his personal collection with her. Admittedly not all of the random stuff on offer was to her liking, but there was still enough in there to pacify The Devourer for months. By all accounts, it should have been smooth sailing from that point on.
And yet, as per usual, reality found a way to throw a wrench in that plan.
“But she’s terrible!” Joe yelled. “She treated Barry like shite the whole time and even cheated on him!”
“That’s exactly what makes her so cool!” Kelly argued. “She goes after what she wants instead of being tied down to the past like some meat puppet!”
The two of them were seated on opposite ends of the couch in Joe’s virtual living room. Both their avatars were digital copies of their physical appearances while Maggie’s half-human half-eldritch-abomination drifted silently in the background. She was clearly intending to steer clear of this inane argument regarding Crimson, the main female character of Gone With the Solar Breeze. Drama films like that really tickled the chaotic blonde’s fancy as they were rife with plot twists. Unlike her sister, she didn’t care how forced, contrived, or illogical these sudden developments were so long as they were unexpected. As for Joe, that sort of thing wasn’t really his cup of tea, but that didn’t stop him from appreciating the timeless masterpiece in storytelling for what it was. Hence why his and Kelly’s argument was getting so heated.
“But she’s such a horrible person!” Joe insisted.
“Only by your lame standards.”
“It’s not just me! Maggie thinks so too, right Maggie?”
“Yes! Let’s hear what the resident expert on counting to infinity has to say!”
Though Kelly’s comment was overflowing with sarcasm, she nevertheless looked towards the girl in the corner of the digital space.
“I have no strong feelings one way or the other,” was her neutral response.
“Come on, now,” the blonde rolled her eyes. “You can’t tell me you don’t have an opinion on this stuff.”
“I see no reason to treat entirely fictional scenarios with any degree of severity.”
“Yeah? What if Joe decided to start seeing another woman?”
“Hey!” the man protested.
“I see no reason to treat entirely fictional scenarios with any degree of severity.”
The unflinching confidence and sincerity with which Maggie repeated herself made her partner blush and her sister groan. With the ‘good mood’ ruined, Kelly somewhat bitterly gave up arguing over personal opinions and instead focused on the next piece of digital media to devour. She was intending to marathon Love at First Flight, which was unusual because soap operas weren’t really her thing. They dragged on way too long and kept rehashing the same tired plotlines and characters. However, this particular series had Melinda Sparklestar - the basis for Maggie’s physical appearance. Kelly was going to pretend that her sibling was actually the main female lead, which would surely result in a spicy bit of entertainment.
Thankfully for her hosts, The Devourer wasn’t as well-versed with technology as The Observer and couldn’t do the hyper-speed-watching thing. She’d have to experience every episode in real time. Or, well, in the four-to-one dilation that was standard with virtual reality. Granted, it was extremely unlikely she’d actually commit to watching all 1,104 episodes, but she’d binge at least a few dozen before she got bored of the soap’s ‘flavor.’ This gave Joe and Maggie some much needed time away from their not-exactly-welcome guest. They couldn’t leave virtual reality since the guy needed to be logged in for content sharing purposes, but they could still retreat to the digital factory he’d built for her. Which was precisely what they did.
“Finally some peace and order,” Maggie said. “I didn’t think it possible, but Kelogh’theryl has found a way to be even more infuriating since we last met.”
“I dunno, I think I kinda like Kelly,” Joe shrugged.
“Do you, now?” the girl squinted hard.
“I mean as a person. Like she’s one of the guys, you know?”
“I seem to recall you were quite distressed over my sibling’s visit.”
“Well, yeah, but she’s not as bad as I thought she’d be.”
“Be wary of The Devourer, Joe. It is a creature of chaos that will lie and deceive to get what it wants.”
“Oh, come off it. Like you haven’t hidden your motives behind technicalities and fancy words.”
“I have the right to maintain secrecy when and if I deem it necessary, but that is not the subject at hand. You are severely underestimating Kelogh’theryl.”
“That’s such a mouthful,” he grumbled. “Can you just call her Kelly, already?”
“No. I will not,” she remained firm. “Names have power, Joe Mulligan. To those such as myself and my sibling, they are more than just a label. You may have forgotten, but the fact that I permit you to call me Maggie is of great significance.”
“I… Yeah, okay. You’re right, I got a bit carried away.”
Indeed, it was easy for a simple bloke like Joe to forget that ‘Kelly’ was an extra-dimensional entity that could rip this ship in half with a thought. One that might have already done so on a complete whim were it not for its cosmic counter-balance keeping it in check. However, at the same time, Joe couldn’t help but want to insist that Kelly was not as bad as Maggie made her out to be.
“Still, I feel like you’re too harsh on her,” he did just that. “I get that she kind of dropped in on us out of nowhere, but that’s only because she’s lonely and doesn’t want to admit it.”
Maggie blinked in genuine surprise. She hadn’t considered that possibility in the slightest, nor could she fathom how Joe reached that conclusion. However, she knew better than to dismiss it. During their time together, she had learned the man she had fallen for was especially gifted when it came to interpersonal communication. His situational awareness was catastrophically atrocious at times, yet his insight into others’ personalities and feelings had proven to be remarkably accurate. This was a topic Maggie had always struggled with and desperately wanted to improve at, so she was eager to hear how he reached that conclusion.
“How do you figure?”
“Hear me out, right. You keep telling me she’s this crazy cunt that values nothing and nobody. But since she’s come here she hasn’t broken or stolen anything, nor has she hurt anyone. Even the person she’s possessing is alright with whatever arrangement they have, right?”
“Indeed.”
If Kelogh’theryl’s host wasn’t completely willing then there would have been clear tell-tale signs of that, which would not have escaped The Observer’s notice.
“But whoever that woman is, she’s in a coma or something whenever Kelly’s around, yeah?”
“Essentially, yes.”
“So, Kelly can’t really talk to her. I bet she wants to, though. I bet she wants to talk to a lot of people, actually. She’s anti-you, so there’s no way she can feel comfortable all by herself for weeks and months. Issue is, she’s way too, uh, aggressive by British standards, so she probably doesn’t have a lot of friends. Flings, yes, but no real companions. That’s why she wants me. Or, well, not me, specifically, but the idea of me. Like, someone to just be there for her and talk about little things for days on end. That’s why she got into that stupid argument so much, and why she was so disappointed when it ended. She envies what you and I have, and she wants that sort of closeness to someone else. But she doesn’t maintain relationships, she consumes them, so she… You get what I mean.”
The girl considered Joe’s rambling argument and how she could instantly shatter it with some harsh realities that he didn’t know about her sibling’s past. However, that would also make Maggie seem like a massive hypocrite. She had done some objectively terrible things as well, some of them quite recent. That experiment where she threw Azgod’Kalar off a hyper-scraper was a prime example, but far from the only or most severe incident in her long history. The Observer had learned to care for the tiny serpent since then, and The Devourer was no less capable of picking up similar sensibilities. After all, as much as both of them hated to admit it, there were quite a few underlying similarities between them despite their diametrically opposed natures.
So, rather than destroy Joe’s optimism with facts and logic, Maggie decided to go along with it.
“You make some valid points,” she nodded. “I admit it is possible I have been too harsh on my sibling. I will attempt to be more understanding in future.”
“… Wait, seriously?”
“You seem surprised,” she pouted.
“I mean, I expected you to be more stubborn. That’s just kind of how you are about some things.”
“This is true. However, unlike a certain someone I am not afraid to admit and rectify my flaws.”
“Wow. That’s your idea of ‘more understanding,’ is it?”
“It is, yes. I merely alluded to my sibling’s shortcomings instead of outwardly stating them.”
Joe’s Maggie-to-English auto-translator interpreted that to mean that she was being passive-aggressive instead of… actively aggressive, which technically counted as being nicer.
“You know what, I’ll take it,” he shrugged. “By the way, something’s been bothering me about the way Kelly showed up here. Like, how did she know we were on a cruise?”
“Because I told her,” the girl openly admitted.
“You did? But, how? And when? And why?”
“Kelogh’theryl and I occasionally communicate via what is essentially a cosmic message board. It is customary in our culture for siblings to keep in touch even though they never get along. And, in a move I now recognize as unwise, I told her about our trip when my consciousness slipped back home three wormhole jumps ago.”
She was, as per usual, dumbing things down for Joe’s benefit.
“Huh. That’s surprisingly sweet of you, actually.”
“It is?”
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“I mean, you were having so much fun on this cruise with me that you bragged about it to someone you don’t really like.”
He grabbed her hand and held it tight.
“I know exactly how that feels.”
It was now her turn to blush deeply. The lovebirds then went on to silently enjoy each other’s company while the digital factory around them continued to churn, click, and clang rhythmically. They hadn’t gotten many chances to share serene moments like these since Kelly showed up, and they certainly weren’t wasting this one. It eventually stretched out to almost two hours before they were inevitably interrupted, though not by the insatiable blonde.
“Attention all passengers,” an automated message invaded their virtual space. “We will be commencing our scheduled wormhole jump in ten minutes real time. Our internal VR network will be disabled shortly in compliance with standard safety procedures. We apologize for the inconvenience.”
The two of them were naturally a bit miffed at this turn of events, but it was only a moment’s annoyance. Maggie knew this was coming well in advance and had nothing to complain about, and that bog-standard apology at the end of the announcement was enough to placate Joe. Kelly, however, was far less understanding.
“Fuuuuuuck! Why now?! What jackass designed this shitty system?!”
The first thing the couple saw and heard upon emerging from their shared pod was the blonde having a profanity-fueled temper tantrum as she climbed out of the other VR device in the room. Joe silently and accurately ascertained she was upset because her soap opera binge was cut short. It was hardly the first time she’d had such an immature outburst over having a ‘meal’ interrupted. The guy sympathized with her on this one, though. The first season of Love at First Flight did an amazing job at getting the average viewer invested in the story. It was why he still looked forward to every episode even after a thousand of them.
“It’s alright, Kelly,” he called out to her. “We can get you right back to it after the jump, just give it a few minutes.”
“Ugh,” her rage instantly diminished. “I know that. It was just getting to the good part.”
“Oh, you mean the one with Brad?”
“… Who?”
“Y’know, Brad, the doctor that-”
Joe’s words got stuck in his throat as he sensed the overwhelming animosity radiating from Kelly’s glare. It was so severe that even a deaf, blind, and comatose lobotomy patient could feel it.
“Right. No spoilers,” he whispered.
That seemed to be yet another trait she had in common with Maggie, though the man wisely kept that observation to himself.
“Shall we assume the position for interstellar travel?” the pale girl suggested.
“… Fuck. Sure, might as well.”
Kelly gave up on complaining about things she couldn’t do anything about and plomped herself on one of the cabin’s armchairs. She pushed a button on her right armrest, prompting several automatic belts to wrap around her ankles, wrists, chest, and waist.
“You’re… not going back to your own cabin?” Joe warily asked.
“I mean, I could, but, y’know…” the blonde hesitated. “I wanna get right back to it after the jump, so I’m staying here.”
Maggie squinted hard at her sibling, having discerned that statement as fallacious. She was about to insist that Kelogh’theryl leave their cabin immediately, but a tap on the shoulder and a knowing nod from Joe reminded her of their earlier conversation. Between his ‘Kelly is just lonely, but won’t admit it’ theory and her promise to be more accommodating, the raven-haired beauty decided to let the matter slide. The guy was quite relieved to see her relax her glare, as even he could tell she wasn’t being honest. Discerning deception wasn’t one of those things he excelled at, but it was almost impressive how blatant that tough girl act was.
“That’s fine,” he said on the couple’s behalf. “It’s not like we don’t have the room to spare.”
Indeed, the two-person cabin had three more seats that served the same function.
“Whatever,” Kelly scoffed.
Joe and Maggie strapped themselves in across from her while she continued to stare disapprovingly out the window. The view beyond it was blocked by the hull of the freighter that was going to carry the yacht to the next leg of its interstellar journey. The pleasure cruiser was secured to the side of the mountainous vessel via a series of enormous magnetic clamps. This was more or less standard procedure since it was uncommon for freighters to have docking bays large enough to accommodate a yacht-class ship. And even if they did, it was often better to hitch a ride externally. Coupling to and then decoupling from the larger vessel was just far less of a hassle than navigating a yacht through a barely-big-enough docking bay. There were no concerns regarding safety, either, so long as both ships’ onboard computers synchronized their artificial gravity fields.
Joe, Maggie, and Kelly sat in an awkward silence as they waited for the various preparatory procedures to run their course. The guy tried to start up a conversation, but all he got from the blonde were curt one-word replies that made it clear she wasn’t in a talkative mood. He gave up altogether after the third attempt and just kind of went into mental neutral while the minutes ticked by. And then, right on schedule, the freighter’s wormhole generator started spooling up. The familiar ‘shhhloooorp’ sound enveloped Joe’s consciousness and deprived him of all sensory input.
When he came to, he saw Maggie’s body had gone on autopilot like usual. Kelly, however, had a much more adverse reaction to getting her consciousness jettisoned. Without The Devourer around, the host had reverted to a noticeably older and horribly disfigured woman. She looked to be in her forties, with some nasty burn scars covering most of her left face. Whatever left that mark on her had also scorched off a significant portion of her scalp, leaving her unkempt ginger hair looking terribly lopsided as it tried and failed to cover the enormous bald spot. Her figure was also far more modest and bordering on malnourished, almost like Joe’s was when he first met Maggie. Her skin looked exceptionally rough as well, especially her calloused hands. Her narrow frame didn’t agree with that provocative red sweater-dress she had on. Without any curves to hold it up, the garment would probably slide right off her if she stood up.
Fortunately for Joe, there was no danger of that. The woman was both strapped in and unconscious, which was why he allowed himself to stare at her so brazenly. He hadn’t really given much thought to who Kelly’s host was as a person, but seeing the sorry state she was normally in made him feel terrible. She looked like one of those people that fell through the cracks, the modern day hobos that could be found in the millions in all those older colonies. These people couldn’t afford anything beyond the bare minimum of food and clothes and lived a dull, monotonous, and probably miserable existence. It was surely no mystery why she agreed to become a host to a powerful entity that could grant her a new lease on life… even if she wasn’t exactly conscious for most of it. Granted, Joe was only imagining all this, but he couldn’t help it. One of his deepest fears was that he’d end up like that someday, hence his previous desperation to find a partner.
His thoughts were interrupted when the stranger’s face twitched. She opened her eyes, revealing their natural color to be a dull green. They then rapidly shifted to the sky-blue hue of Kelly’s irises. The rest of The Devourer emerged shortly afterwards, taking only mere moments for the host’s face, hair, and figure to expand into the blonde bombshell. She gave Joe a toothy grin that sent shivers down his spine, and not in a good way. The bad feeling was further amplified when she casually stood from her seat, instantly snapping all the belts holding her in place. She then took slow, sensual steps towards him.
Joe looked to the still-out-of-it girl to his left before glancing down at his own restraints. He needed to touch her to wake her up, but he couldn’t do that while his wrists were bound to the chair. Unfortunately, no matter how many times he pushed that button, the stupid thing would not release him. Since he wasn’t going anywhere - nor would he get far even if he could - the man took stock of his situation and reached a lightning-fast conclusion.
“… Bugger.”
“We’ll get to that in due time, hun,” Kelly purred, “but for now I’m going to take this slow. I want to really, mmm, savor you.”
“Kelly, no,” he tried to be firm.
“Kelly, yes!”
She practically jumped on his lap, throwing her hands around his head and smothering him in her cleavage while rubbing her lower end against him. She cooed with excitement as she felt the perfectly natural reaction in his pants.
“Kelly!” he managed to come up for air. “Stop it, now!”
“And why would I?”
“You promised Maggie!”
“I said I would stop trying to seduce you into sleeping with me. Well, guess what?”
She leaned forward close enough for him to feel her hot breath on his ear.
“I’m not asking anymore.”
That whisper made Joe’s heart race, though not in a good way. This strange sense of dread he felt was almost as bad as when Maggie got shot, perhaps even worse. He glanced towards the girl in a panic, but her consciousness was still AWOL. Her soulless vessel could do little but stare blankly at him, which only made things worse. His eyes were then drawn to, of all things, Azgod’Kalar. The tiny serpent snaked its way out from somewhere behind Maggie’s neck. True to its name, it calmly slithered across her shoulder and then down the length of her right arm, right next to Joe. The man focused intently on the little guy, though it was mostly a desperate attempt to avoid paying attention to the soft hands running all over his upper body.
At first, Kelly was too overwhelmed with anticipation to notice anything was going on. However, seeing her ‘meal’ pay attention to something else snapped her out of it. She followed Joe’s eyesight and also saw Azgod’Kalar snaking its way past Maggie’s forearm and onto her hand. Having reached its destination, the ball python looked right back at her. Its tiny tongue did a blep, after which its tail firmly yet smoothly clicked the button just beyond the girl’s fingers. Under normal circumstances, all that would’ve accomplished was release the armchair’s witless occupant from her safety restraints.
However, what was disengaged weren’t the straps, but something else entirely. There was a loud ‘fwump’ from the window. This was immediately followed by a howling rush of air as the reinforced glass plane was sucked into the vacuum of space along with everything in the cabin that wasn’t nailed down. Joe and Maggie were fine since they were strapped to seats that were firmly attached to the floor. Azgod’Kalar had wrapped its light body around its owner’s slender wrist like a bracelet and was similarly unharmed. Kelly, however, was unable to brace herself in time and was catapulted into the void along with several pieces of furniture. She probably screamed her head off, but Joe had no way of knowing since he couldn’t even hear his own voice.
A metal shutter covered the hull breach moments later, after which the cabin’s atmospheric systems pumped it full of air in seconds. Joe could do little but hyperventilate at the sudden and violent turn of events. He was overcome by an entirely different sort of panic as his astrohodophobia came back in full swing. It took him almost a minute to regain enough of his senses to try to unbuckle himself again. This time the button did its job and released him. Joe was still far too shaken to stand up, but he had enough strength to reach over and vigorously shake Maggie’s shoulder.
Sure enough, he felt something well up in his chest and pour into her through his fingertips, after which the girl’s vacant eyes returned to their usual swirl of un-light.
“Kelly did something profoundly stupid, didn’t she?”
The only response Joe could muster was a frantic, shivering nod. Maggie stood and helped him to his feet, then guided him over to the bed frame. The pillows and mattress were both gone, but projecting new ones through her telekinesis was child’s play. The couple sat down on the invisible cushion as the girl did her best to calm and soothe her slightly traumatized partner. Just as her behavior suggested, she knew all of this would happen. That was why she had prepared a little failsafe measure by hacking a few systems, crossing a few wires, and implanting her pet with some instructions. She naturally made sure that no harm would come to any of them, especially Joe. Indeed, her tampering was the reason why his seat refused to release him at first.
“I apologize profusely for putting you in that situation,” she said after explaining all that. “I just… wanted to give her a chance.”
“No, no, I get that,” the man said, still shaken. “I just, did you have to throw her into space like that? I get that she’s a Class-3 or whatever, but the woman she’s inhabiting wasn’t part of this.”
“I assure you, my sibling is more than capable of keeping the host safe even in a vacuum.”
“So she’s just going to drift out there forever?!”
“Absolutely not. She can propel herself with telekinesis. Not fast enough to catch up to this vessel while it is in motion, but enough to reach the nearest inhabited planet in twenty-to-thirty days.”
However unlikely, she hoped that her counterpart would use this extended time-out to reflect upon her actions and learn from her mistakes. Especially her erroneous assumption that she could steal Maggie’s man. The attempt alone warranted much more severe retribution, but the girl decided to let her off with just this much for her partner’s sake. The kind-hearted lummox hated the idea of anyone getting hurt on his account, even if that someone had tried to assault him.
“Oh… That’s… that’s good, then,” Joe relaxed significantly. “What about the ship? Won’t they raise a fuss since a passenger, uh, went overboard?”
“It is of no concern. I am currently in the process of purging my sibling’s presence from all onboard records and the crew’s memories.”
“What about our cabin?”
Joe wasn’t an expert on techno-wizardry, but he imagined having to arrange for new bedding and furniture without raising any questions would be something of a hassle.
“I’m… still working on it.”
“And our luggage?”
“Lost cause, I’m afraid.”
“Aw, man. My favorite shirt was in that suitcase… oh well. Anyway, do you mind if I just pass out for a while?”
“Not in the slightest.”
Maggie tapped her lap invitingly, but Joe shook his head.
“Sorry, but I need to be alone for a bit. I’ll be in the lounge, okay?”
“… I understand.”
Maggie’s heart sank as she watched Joe leave the cabin with uneasy steps. She wasn’t sure what exactly was bothering him, and she hated that feeling. Was it the way she handled that situation that upset him? Did Kelly’s betrayal of his good faith get to him? Or was his phobia rearing its ugly head after that extreme experience? She felt personally responsible for all three possibilities, so her guilt weighed heavy on her. Unable to bear it, she gave into her curiosity and had a slight, subtle peek at what was going on in his head. She normally avoided doing that since she hated ‘spoilers,’ but she thought this matter was serious enough to warrant a sneak peek.
As it turned out, Joe’s major concern at that moment in time was something else entirely. Namely, that his ‘natural reaction’ to Kelly had yet to subside, and he wanted to take care of that. Feeling strangely embarrassed and ashamed at herself, Maggie withdrew herself from his mind entirely and focused on restoring the cabin’s spaced contents. She also double-checked that all traces of Kelly’s presence were erased from the logs and crew. Some of the passengers would probably remember her and might wonder where she went later on, but they’d just assume she got off in this star system. Which, technically, was the case. Regardless, she judged it wasn’t necessary to root into the minds of every last person aboard. It wasn’t that she couldn’t do it, but she felt awkward about invading that much mental privacy after doing the same to Joe.
And it was thanks to that consideration that Otis Barker, a 64-year-old retired software engineer, would forever question whether he did indeed see a mostly naked blonde girl zoom past his cabin window.