I just want to start by saying that dating is hard. Once you get past all the bots, ads, and scammers and meet a real person, the guessing game begins. Why is this person actually available right now? Are they really just down on their luck, or is it something else that you're happier not knowing? Then, once you figure out their deep dark secrets, the question becomes, are they willing to put up with your deep dark secrets? This process can take weeks to sort out, usually resulting in a dead end somewhere, forcing you to start over. The whole thing is frustrating, demeaning, and humiliating enough that you're physically and emotionally exhausted, making you just want to give up and be a loner.

Now I know what you're wondering. "What's this got to do with anything?" Well, it's kinda simple. A little bit ago, I wrote about how my girlfriend, Wendy, never eats and that I heard some...unsettling things at her house the last time I visited. Well, I decided to keep seeing Wendy. Sure, she might have some...unusual habits, but she makes me feel good about myself, and I'm happy with her. So what if she never eats or chases off bears while nude in the middle of the night? Compared to returning to the dating scene, that's really not so bad. We even have nicknames for each other now: Country Girl and City Boy. I'll let you guess which is which. Anyway, that's a rather long and roundabout way of saying that, yeah, I went on that camping trip with her, and things didn't go quite how I expected.

First off, I wanna say that she was right. The forest really is beautiful. The sun's heat, combined with the coolness of the shade, while listening to the insects drone lazily in the background, seems to slow time to a crawl, making each breath a relaxing experience in and of itself. It's entirely unlike anything you'll experience during your morning commute. Combine all that with the right company, and soon you'll wonder why you'd ever return. And let me tell you, Wendy is one hundred percent the right company.

Wendy was quick with tips to make the hike easier, from how to properly distribute your pack load to how to lace your shoes for maximum comfort. During the trek to where we were going to set up camp, she alternated between offering interesting bits of information about the local flora and fauna and walking in silence, allowing me to get lost in the experience.

The whole affair made me want to give up the city life and move to the country. There was just one thing during the walk that wasn't as pleasant as everything else. At one point, we must have walked too close to a skunk or a rotting carcass or something because the whole area around us started to reak. At first, it wasn't so bad, but eventually, it got so strong it made me want to gag. I jokingly mentioned it to Wendy, but she just looked ahead like she was determined and told me, "Pick up the pace. We'll be past it soon enough." Sure enough, we eventually got past the smell, and things quickly became pleasant again.

The rest of the hike passed without incident, and Wendy even helped me set up the tent. Her evident experience in the matter showed through because it took no time. Soon enough, everything was ready, and we even had a nice, cheerful fire roaring.

This time, when she pulled out the supplies for dinner, I didn't even bat an eye when it was clearly only enough for one. Whatever was going on with her, this was just the way it was going to be. It was up to me to accept that or move on, and I'd made my call. But I have to say, for someone who never seems to eat, she sure knows how to sear a steak to perfection! After a pleasant evening and an even more pleasant night, we passed out in the tent together while listening to the crickets and the more distant owls. But of course, if that's all that happened, I wouldn't be writing about it here.

Sometime during the night, I awoke to find I was alone in the tent. This wasn't too unexpected because Wendy was both an outdoor enthusiast and a bit of a night owl. I debated calling out to her, but something in the air felt like I shouldn't disturb it with such an out-of-place sound. However, Mother Nature did have her demands, and it was time to answer her call.

As I unzipped the tent and stepped out, I couldn't help but look up into the night sky. The stars were breathtaking. You never see this many this vibrant in the city. However, their beauty couldn't distract me for long in the face of more...urgent demands.

Do you know that feeling when you've been holding it in a little too long and finally experience relief? If it weren't for my experiences earlier that night, I might be tempted to claim it is better than sex, but we'll just say it was still pretty euphoric. Maybe it distracted me from the fact that all the usual night sounds had suddenly gone quiet, but it couldn't distract me from the sudden smell of rotting flesh. It was even stronger than it had been on the trail and was accompanied by the kind of fear that you usually feel when you're very young and just starting to wonder if there might be reasons sounds go bump in the night. I gagged as I struggled to cut off the stream, zip up my pants, and retreat into the tent again.

Once in the tent, I reached for the flashlight, then hesitated. I desperately wanted to see better, but something in the back of my mind told me it was better to remain hidden. Of course, I don't know how well-hidden a blue tent in the middle of the forest can be, but turning on a flashlight would be like activating a beacon for everything within a few miles to see. I sat in the dark for I don't know how long, feeling my heart pound through my chest loud enough that I was sure whatever was out there could hear it clearly. Thankfully, the smell eventually faded, but I was still so high on adrenaline that I knew I wouldn't sleep another wink for the rest of the night. Or so I thought.

The following day, I awoke with Wendy cuddled in my arm, with one of her legs and arms draped over me, and once again, she was totally nude. Now, I was pretty sure she'd put on some pajamas before going to bed, but as she stirred and I got a good look at what was on display, I suddenly didn't care all that much.

Eventually, she smiled lazily up at me and spoke. "You sleep alright, City Boy? You seemed to have some pretty rough dreams in the middle of the night..." At the time, those words made perfect sense. In the light of day, it seemed pretty clear that whatever happened last night was probably just a vivid dream brought on by the experiences of the day before and an unfamiliar environment.

After a bit more time together, we decided to get up and tackle another day in the forest. However, when I finally crawled out of the tent, I could see our entire camp was in disarray. It was like something had gone through and tossed everything around. A few of the more delicate items were totally demolished. After a moment, I called out. "Ummm, hey... You might wanna take a look at this..."

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As Wendy crawled out of the tent, she made a face. "Must have been a bear. They usually don't come out this way, so I wasn't too worried about them. I guess that's on me, sorry."

A bear, that kind of made sense. At least, I told myself so. As we were cleaning up, I even saw tracks, though, in my inexperience as a city boy, I would have said they belonged to a dog, not a bear. A huge dog. Maybe a wolf? What was even odder was when I found what looked like hoof prints. Looking at the prints, I realized that deer must be much bigger than they look on TV since they were more than twice as long as my hand.

There isn't much more to say about the day. We fixed the place up, had breakfast, went on a hike, made dinner, and called it a night, with a few other minor activities sprinkled throughout. I was back to enjoying the trip, so much so that I had mostly forgotten about the night before.

But that night is when things took a bit of an unexpected turn. Once again, I awoke in the middle of the night. Thankfully, I wasn't alone this time, as Wendy was still asleep, half on top of me again. However, that stench was back and stronger than ever.

It was amazing how bright it seemed in the tent. It must have been a full moon, or at least nearly full, because I could clearly see the shadow of a large deer pass between us and the night sky. But there was something wrong with this deer. It was clearly too tall, as if it was standing on hind legs, and when it opened its mouth, I could even make out a mouthful of very sharp teeth.

I couldn't help it. I felt myself breathing more heavily by the second as my heart rate skyrocketed. My mind went blank when I suddenly felt Wendy stir. Remembering the presence of my considerably smaller girlfriend, I suddenly felt protective, as if I couldn't let anything happen to her. I was just about to tell her to be quiet when I noticed her looking up at me with a finger on her lips as if telling me to do the same. Then she whispered to me, "Stay in the tent!" and started to get up.

I don't know what I was thinking or if I was thinking. All I knew was I couldn't let Wendy go out to face whatever that was, so I reached out and grabbed her wrist before she could exit the tent. However, when she looked back at me, I released her immediately, almost as scared of her as whatever was outside the tent. Her eyes reflected light back at me like a cat's, and I could see the nails on her hand growing as I watched.

In half a moment, she turned back around, opened the tent, and climbed outside. I will never forget the sound I heard at that moment. After I got home, I looked up the calls of a bunch of wild animals, and in hindsight, I'd say it was like a compilation of an elk call, a rabbit's scream, and a mountain lion scream, but impossibly loud. Wendy shouted in answer, her tiny human voice sounding so frail in comparison. At least it did until it started to change, morphing and twisting into the howl of an impossibly large wolf. I couldn't help it. I peeked out the tent flap, and standing in front of the tent was what I could only describe as a werewolf.

The little five-foot-and-change Wendy was now standing at least seven feet tall, covered in fur with claws and fangs that looked like they could tear through steel, and she looked ready for murder. Then, some movement on the opposite end of our camp drew my attention, and I witnessed a living nightmare that suddenly made a werewolf seem like less of a problem.

It looked kind of like a deer if a deer had more articulated limbs far too long for its body. The feet ended in hooves, but the hands ended in long bony claws. The whole thing looked desiccated, its skin drawn so tight over its ribs and arms you could make out the skeleton beneath. The fur was spotty and looked partially rotted, with open holes leaking bodily fluids that should never see light. Its teeth were long and serrated, clearly meant for tearing rather than chewing. I sometimes hear hunters talking about deer being eight or ten points, but if I had to estimate, this thing had a thirty-point antler, with many of the tines covered in what I suspected to be dried viscera from previous victims.

The two monsters charged each other. The nightmare, which I now know was a wendigo, lowered its head, intending to impale its opponent, but at the last second, Wendy threw herself nearly flat on the ground, only to rocket up into the wendigo, latching onto its long neck with her powerful jaws while her hind feet kicked gouges into its vulnerable stomach.

However, the wendigo didn't seem willing to give up that easily and tossed Wendy aside. She hit the ground hard and was soon set upon by the other monster. She raised an arm to defend herself, only for the wendigo to latch on with its own teeth, easily tearing through her skin and muscles.

With a powerful kick, Wendy pushed the nightmare back, then started swiping at him over and over, making it loose ground. However, lowing its head, the wendigo charged forward again, and this time, Wendy wasn't fast enough as the wendigo caught her on his antlers and flipped her over his back, with new blood darkening the tips of the tines. But that was its downfall as Wendy sprung up and again latched onto its neck with her teeth, this time from behind.

The nightmare struggled in vain, occasionally raking Wendy with his claws, but she refused to let go and began ripping and tearing her way through its neck until she grabbed hold of its antlers, and with one final jerk, the head came free.

I don't have the heart to describe what came next, but let's just say the sound of flesh being torn and eaten is much more distinct through the thin membrane of a tent than a closed cabin window.

Time passed. At least an hour, maybe two or three. It's hard to say for sure. I don't know what I expected to happen next; maybe I was going to be next, or perhaps I'd wake up from this nightmare, but eventually, the adrenaline passed, my eyes grew heavy, and I fell asleep again.

When I awoke in the morning, I was alone this time. There was no sign Wendy had come back. I'd half hoped she'd still be here, telling me I'd had another nightmare, but I don't think I would have believed it again.

It was kind of sad and lonely packing up our things by myself. I debated bringing Wendy's stuff with me, but I'm not that good of a hiker and wasn't confident I could pull it off, so I just left her things in her pack inside the tent.

When I exited the tent, I was more than a little surprised to see Wendy sitting calmly by the fire pit with no wounds in sight. She smiled sadly. "So, I guess I owe you an explanation."

I remember hesitating, my mind blank, before I settled on the thought I had earlier. "What, you're not going to try and convince me it was a nightmare again?"

She looked around at all the destruction in the campsite. Earth was kicked up, trees had claw marks gouged out, and there were signs of blood splatter everywhere. "I didn't think I could convince you this time..."

I nodded as I looked around. "Yeah, I guess not..." Then, I looked back at her. "You know, for a bit there, I was starting to think you were the monster eating people out here!"

Wendy pointed at herself, then laughed. "Wait, me? Wendy the wendigo? Don't you think that's a little too on the nose?"

I couldn't help it. As weird and messed up as everything was, as disturbing as everything I learned was, this was the Wendy I knew and cared for. So, I laughed with her, "Yeah... maybe so..."

Long story short, we're still together. Sure, my girlfriend might be a seven-foot-tall monster that eats other monsters for fun, but everyone has their quirks. Besides, dating sucks, and I'm happy where I am...