Time flew by slowly. Weeks at a time. Three or four of them.

He'd read six chapters of the Side of Ares, with the last two being unremarkable, handling mostly the finances and politics of Zalfari, which only went to show that the tome was written for future royals. Even Gabriel glossed over the darker parts. The tome kept calling to Aurelius even after the disappointing effort, but he didn't answer.

He went back to his usual routine. Then it was all the same again.

Blinding mornings, numb plunges, absentminded breakfasts, frustrating training, and tiring evenings with Cade, where he just tried his best to be good company but wasn't.

'Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck,' Aurelius thought as he plunged into the icy fjord. He slapped the water with a palm again and again, trying to make it feel his pain, but it wouldn't.

Going neck-deep into the water was death by a thousand cuts. Aurelius put his head under the water and emerged with a scream. Jumping out of the water, he wrapped himself in a coat and walked back to the villa, his feet going numb up to the ankles on the way.

He sat at the breakfast table with Solomon and Cade, who jabbered at each other. At least she seemed happy even though she was covered in bruises.

Aurelius ran his fingers over the scars on his face for the thousandth time. He could still feel how those cuts felt. Sherridan's blade slicing over his eyes and Gadreel's dagger dragging in between his eyes.

"You dyed your hair again?" Cade asked.

"Yeah," Aurelius said scratching his hanging head. He'd done it a few days ago.

"A little less patchy than the last time," Solomon commented. "So you didn't do it on purpose?"

"No, not on purpose. The dye just doesn't stick."

"You could style your hair a little? Like this." Cade reached over and tried to swipe his hair to the side.

Aurelius slapped her hand away. "Stop it."

Cade sat back and pouted.

"Slept badly, boy of Ares?" Solomon scoffed.

Aurelius glared at him. "I don't sleep," he said, gesturing to his eye bags. "And don't fucking call me that."

"Uh, Rey?"

Aurelius realized what he'd said and, more importantly, who he'd said it to and remembered one of Solomon's rules.

"No cursing while eating," Solomon recited. Before Aurelius could move, Solomon swung his open hand. An enhanced slap from the Soldier of God wasn't the best way to die.

He stopped right before hitting Aurelius, but the scare toppled him over in his chair. His arm got caught under the armrest and took the brunt of the fall. He almost screamed another curse right after.

Cade came to help him up. "Did you have to?" she asked Solomon.

"No," Solomon answered. Then he drank the last drop from his cup and stood. "I'll be waiting for you," he said to Cade as he left.

Aurelius groaned as he sat back up, holding his throbbing hand.

"What's going on with you?" Cade asked.

Aurelius looked off into space. "The pieces are falling into place in the puzzle that is my life, and there is nothing there. No answers, no purpose, nothing."

"If I ask more, will you talk to me, or will you just sit there like a statue, spouting abstractions at me?"

Aurelius sighed. "Just go."

***

Cade and Solomon moved in synchrony, blocking each other's blows. Solomon had adapted to her new free-flowing style, which pushed her to refine it, adapting to his adaptation. Then he adapted to her adaptation and so on.

In the end, it was a really complicated mess of strategy, but one Cade enjoyed. Sparring with Solomon meant constant inventing. After he saw a move, you needed another or he'd make you pay.

Cade dodged and spun. Instinctively, she struck with an elbow at the back of Solomon's head. But Solomon spun counter to her and kicked her feet from under her. As she fell, he took her by the throat and slammed her down.

"Dead," he said.

Cade coughed as she stood back up. "Do you have to say that every damn time?" She mimicked his frown and made an impression of him. "Dead, dead, dead."

He smacked her. Her head went around. She turned back to glare at him, holding her red cheek. He pointed a firm finger at her, saying, "Focus."

Cade slapped his hand out of her face and threw a flurry of attacks. Solomon dodged, but some only barely.

"Better," he commented.

Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings.

Cade grabbed her four different ways in one second before taking him by the arm and throwing him over her shoulder. Surprisingly, it worked, but unsurprisingly, Solomon landed on his feet and turned to face her like nothing had happened.

She then kicked at his stomach. He grabbed the foot, and Cade was ready. She resisted as he pulled. When he pulled harder she sprung forth and kneed him in the face.

Right then, his barrier activated, her knee hit its unbreakable surface, and Solomon threw her off of him like a ragdoll. Cade hurled in the air before landing in the snow on her side.

"Impressive," Solomon said. "Or well, mildly impressive."

"Thanks," Cade spat.

Solomon turned with a hand on her chin.

"Is the sparring boring you now?" Cade asked, acting offended. Well, she was a little offended.

"No. Not that. I was wondering about Aurelius."

"Oh, have you fallen in love?"

"Afraid of some competition?"

"We aren't like that."

"Bah. You're just hopelessly bad at being what you are."

"Alright, Grandpa," Cade said, hopping back to her feet. "So what about Aurelius?"

"Why, are you the expert?"

Cade scoffed, running a hand through her hair—which she really should've tied up for training but couldn't be bothered to. "Hard to be when he has the social skills of a starfish."

"Do you think I should stop helping him? To rediscover essence, that is."

"What?" Cade furrowed her brows. "Why?"

"Right, I haven't told you. Solomonia has a certain tradition, you see. According to it, a master is responsible for the actions of his disciple. And if a disciple strays from the path, his master must end him."

Cade squinted. "Wait, you're telling me you might kill me? You're telling me that now?"

Solomon scratched his cheek. "No, of course I won't kill you. I'm more like a sparring partner than a master, really."

Cade shook her head with a sigh. "So about Aurelius..."

"Ah right, I've noticed some tendencies in him that make me ponder."

"You think he'll stray from the path?"

"That is a possibility in my mind, yes."

"Well, then you really don't know him," Cade chuckled a little, putting a hand on her hip. "Don't get me wrong, his nicknames haven't just spawned from thin air. I've seen him smash in the face of a friend and spit insults at a helpless enemy before putting a blade through his throat. But never have I known him to hold anything except good will towards strangers."

"I'm not questioning his intentions, but I wonder if he's a negative influence on the world."

"That's rich coming from you."

"I protected my country. Aurelius is most famous for all he's destroyed."

"Let's be frank, what you're most famous for isn't protecting your country; it's the long, long death toll you carry." Solomon went quiet. "Now you can teach whoever you want, and I'm not Aurelius, so I can't tell you what kind of nightmares he has or why he didn't want to talk about what happened in Arkryk or Acelot. All I know for certain is that he wants me to be happy even when he's not. He does things only in the hopes of making me laugh. And he's the only person that I know would spend an eternity in darkness if only it meant others could enjoy the sun."

***

The next morning, Aurelius climbed to the top of the mountain Solomon's villa was built on the side of and watched sunrise. In the north, there was a time of day when the horizon was a faded turquoise, and the moon seemed larger than ever. To Aurelius, those moments were peace itself.

"Hope I'm not interrupting," Solomon greeted him, coming to stand beside him.

Aurelius didn't flinch from the surprise and didn't shift his gaze from the horizon. "Good morning?"

"Is it?" Solomon asked, squinting at the distance. Aurelius chuckled. "Hm, what's funny?"

"That's something my uncle used to say," Aurelius replied. He hadn't thought of his uncle for a long, long time.

"Right, you had an uncle."

"Not one I'm particularly fond of, but yes," Aurelius said, but for some reason he didn't feel any dislike when he thought of the man. It was more nostalgic. He was amused by the petty squabbles he had once had with him. He wagered that was what was called growing up.

"Listen. Cade told me you insisted on needing assistance to regain your ability to use essence. Why?"

Aurelius was quiet for a while, but surprisingly the answer was clear to him, though he hadn't thought of it before. "I didn't think it could be done. Trying to look for someone was easier than trying to grasp a new skill. A skill I wasn't sure that was possible for me."

"Not possible?"

"I didn't tell you, but I almost grasped the true nature of essence once. But when I failed, I resorted to the third enhancer so that I could kill Gadreel."

"You were ready to die then?"

"I was ready to kill. All else came after."

"I see."

Aurelius turned to look at Solomon for the first time. "Have you had someone like that?"

Solomon looked down in silence. "I suppose so."

"And what came of it?" Aurelius asked, his voice sensitive.

"Death," Solomon responded, no variation in tone.

There was silence, and a flock of black birds croaked in the distance. Then Aurelius snorted with amusement. Solomon did the same. They both chuckled a little before turning grave again.

"Gadreel. What was he like?"

"Haunting," Aurelius said slowly under his breath, looking away into the distance. "Deep down, I think he wanted to die." He squinted up at the rising sun and breathed out a stream of fog. "I never should've gone to that castle."

If he hadn't been so blind back then, he surely would've seen another path. A better path. He looked down at his helpless hand. There must've been a better way.

Solomon looked curious to ask more but held his tongue. There was respect there. Aurelius almost thanked him for it.

Instead he asked, "Do you even think I'll ever regain my essence?"

"I told you it was possible when I accepted you as my disciple, didn't I?"

"But so you believe in it? If I could fix my pathways with a grasp on the true nature of essence, don't you think you could do it for me?"

"I could send a burst of essence through you body and see if that paves a path, but you'd likely have a seizure like with the enhancer. A seizure that would likely kill you. So no. I don't think."

"Right," Aurelius looked down at his hands. "I'm sorry for asking. You probably think I'm pathetic for seeking shortcuts."

"I don't think you're pathetic at all."

Aurelius looked up at Solomon. Solomon kept his eyes on the horizon, refusing to acknowledge his own kind words.

Aurelius smiled slightly. He took off his glove and felt the cold air with a hand. Touching the air, he felt a connection. Lately, he'd begun feeling more at ease with just trying to connect with the ethereal.

Solomon said something. Aurelius didn't hear. He fell into a trance. His fingers played on the tension in the air. Then he felt them touch on something essential behind reality. The feeling struck a chord of nostalgia in him. A hint of essence streaked along his fingertips.

He jumped to grasp it, but the trance went away, and the essence flickered out of existence in an instant. Aurelius was left marveling. He tried to repeat it but couldn't. Still, it was the first time he'd touched essence in half a year, and it was unlike anything ever before. Not setups, not motionless magic. Pure contact.

He was about to ask Solomon if he saw but only then noticed that Solomon was gone. He tried remembering what Solomon had told him. When he couldn't, he made his way back to the villa, uplifted and ready to gush about it to Cade.

At the villa, Solomon was waiting for him with Cade. A big bird sat on the study table with a large tube strapped to its back. A messenger.

Solomon looked up from the piece of paper he was reading, meeting Aurelius' eyes with furrowed brows. "It's about Arkryk," he said, and Aurelius' insides froze.