Aurelius jolted awake with his cheek pressed to the hundredth page, drool pooling at the edge of his mouth. His mouth... on the priceless tome.

He shot up, wiping his face, and sobered up, trying to figure out how he'd erase the spittle out of existence. Right as he was scrubbing it, he heard someone clear their throat right behind him and jumped.

"A good reading, I assume?" Solomon asked.

Aurelius glanced around. "Uh, yes. But you see, I..."

"Did you snore on my tome?" Solomon asked, seeing the blob of spit.

"No." Aurelius sat up straighter. "I—I didn't hear any snoring."

Solomon gave a long sigh, rubbing his temples. "Look, you could come upstairs."

"Can I ask why?"

"Do you know how long you've been here?"

"A day?"

"A month."

Aurelius' jaw dropped. "What?!"

Solomon chuckled. "No. Almost three days." Aurelius gave an irritated sigh. He already thought he'd lost his mind. "A break would do you some good. You won't get through the tome in one sitting. Besides, Cade misses you."

"She said that?"

"What do you think?" Solomon deadpanned, "No. She's just awfully talkative."

"Ah, right." Aurelius chuckled lightly, some pain in his dry throat. "I suppose you're right." He turned weakly to follow Solomon.

"Tell me, did the tome meet your expectations?" Solomon asked as he took him out.

Aurelius shook his hanging head. "I don't know what I expected, but that wasn't it."

Even after Aurelius had begun to learn of his father, he'd never fully comprehended who he was. He supposed the Ares spoken of in the book was the same he'd imagined all his life... except human. Never had he spared a deep thought for his grandfather or grandmother and how they affected his father.

'Is that how Gadreel saw me? Was he disappointed then in that castle?' Aurelius asked himself but ripped his mind from the subject as he felt himself return to that grand hall of massacre.

"A break was a good idea," he said to Solomon as he climbed the spiral staircase. "I need some time to process."

"I figured," Solomon said without looking back. "The sun is harsh for caved eyes."

Aurelius rubbed his eyes, and they felt just fine. Who knows what Solomon was on about?

Cade was waiting for them on the third floor with a cup in her hand. He was surprised at how much her hair seemed to have grown over the week he hadn't seen her. It was so silky and free. She turned and smiled at him.

"Caught him snoring," Solomon said as he went to take a seat.

"I wasn't snoring."

"Oh, right." Solomon said before leaning in to whisper loudly to Cade. "He said he didn't hear any snoring."

She chuckled a little as Aurelius took a seat. Surprisingly, Cade didn't ask what he was reading. Aurelius didn't think Solomon had told her either. She would probably have pressed him about it if she knew, so he didn't really want to tell her. For Cade, it seemed that something being sensitive seemed all the more reason to press someone about it.

He had forgotten to eat again, so he began stuffing his mouth with whatever was at hand's reach while Cade and Solomon bantered.

It seemed like they'd gotten close. Close, but not friendly per se. They weren't the type to be friendly.

"On that matter, have you noticed what your boyfriend—ehem, companion—smells like?"

Aurelius put his nose to his armpit and gagged. "Apologies," he said with an awkward smile, not having washed ever since going into isolation.

Cade didn't pay it any mind. "I'm not sure you're in a position to speak," she shot back at Solomon.

"Oh please," Solomon scoffed. "I imagine he smells like Mircrest's slums."

"Can't handle a little stench, soldier?"

"Retired soldier," Solomon corrected.

"So a little bitch?"

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Aurelius looked at her with wide eyes. Then Solomon boomed with laughter.

Aurelius had feared that the two would try killing each other at some point, but the training seemed to have brought them closer. Still, he didn't exclude the possibility.

Something else caught Aurelius' attention, though. He looked at himself reflected on a metal plate. 'The color is returning again,' he thought, running a hand through his hair that had grown to his forehead again. It looked similar to how Balgair had cut it once upon a time.

He looked up and met Cade's eyes. Somehow, he felt she saw what he was thinking.

When breakfast was over, Aurelius didn't go back into the basement or sleep. He went to the second-floor terrace and sat in the freezing wind. He told himself it was to think, but it wasn't thinking as much as it was replaying thoughts.

The thoughts he had would inform his decisions, and his actions would echo through time. Whether Kendrick succeeded or died, whether the Great Zalfarian Empire survived or not, and whether his bloodline was wiped out were all hanging on the needle of his decision. That made it hard to have any new thoughts.

One wrong choice, and tens of millions could die. He was more aware of that than ever. The number could've included him, Cade—even his mother. Kendrick and Alexander weren't like Gadreel and Orpheus. They were loved by the populace. Parents told tales of them to their children, and rituals were executed in their name. The fall of such a man wouldn't just create a vacuum. Their loyal people would be like a ball of compression, and when such a thing exploded, it would shake the world.

Besides, he'd wanted to follow his father's footsteps, but he'd never thought what if that meant leaving his son without a father. Would he have wanted his son to follow in his footsteps?

No. Anything else would have been better. He'd left Mircrest and Arkryk in shambles. The live D. The Ender of Reigns. Fucking ridiculous. He was just an immature boy taking out his rage on the world, living his hero fantasy where everything was going to be fine.

There was so much to the world he hadn't seen before and had only caught a glimpse of. So many people, each with their own stories. Yet all of them—every name, every tale—ended the same way.

He wondered what that end would look like for him. For the first time, he grasped what joining the war really meant. The possibility of a mass ending. The idea of dying on a battlefield, knowing in another world you could've lived long and met your end in the warmth of home and loved ones. And because the field was littered with others like you, not even your end was your own.

He wondered about his father. What his death had looked like. What were his last thoughts? Could Aurelius even fix what he left behind, or was it as his father had told him when he was in isolation?

All this time, should he have listened to his mother?

He grasped his hair that was gradually fading back to his natural gold, wondering how much of his fate was ingrained in those strands, and wanted them to stay black.

***

"Why?"

"Come on. Does it matter why? We have the resources."

"I'm not going to just waste my time because you feel like it."

"Doesn't it look nice?" Aurelius tried.

Cade scoffed and walked out, leaving him to dye his hair alone. It was a long and dull process even with the help, but he did it alone, nevertheless. Or tried at least.

When Cade and Solomon saw it, they died laughing. Aurelius slumped his shoulders. He swore he'd rubbed it all over, but some parts were left gold while others were jet black.

"Hey, it looks surprisingly good," Cade said.

"We ought to call you Gold Patch!" Solomon guffawed.

Cade ceased her laughing, and Aurelius and she shared a deadpan look. At least now they knew something Solomon was bad at. A certain somebody would've chewed him out for a nickname like that.

Solomon frowned at their reactions and muttered something about young people.

Cade left, and Aurelius had a sit-down with Solomon.

"You're getting back to it?" Solomon asked, watching him eat. "Plan to go days with barely any food again?"

Aurelius nodded as he stuffed his mouth. He was planning to get back to translating and reading right after he was done here.

"You've processed it already then?"

"No." Aurelius swallowed a mouthful. "There's more I don't understand than I understand. I actually meant to ask you something. Gabriel wrote that my father was known for the ugliest of his words. What does that mean?"

"Oh, that." Solomon leaned in slightly, a weighty seriousness fell on his face. "Have you ever heard the words 'karase aki'?"

Aurelius blinked. "What? Karase aki. That's just..."

"You will die."

"Yeah, that."

"So you're familiar with it."

Aurelius pressed a hand to his mouth. Oh, he was familiar. "I've used it. So many times." He shot a sharp look at Solomon. "What do you mean they're my father's words? He didn't invent the damn language, did he?"

"No. He simply popularized the phrase. There was something about the words that warriors everywhere adored. They weren't a threat as much as a premonition. It is said every single person that heard the phrase from Ares's mouth directed at oneself died then and there. Those were a testament to your father's capability. Now they're just a symbol of fear."

"But..." Aurelius began, hoping the right words to reconcile with what Solomon just said would come to him. They didn't. He was left with nothing but a realization that had been hitting him over and over for years, but never deeper than this. "I'm... just like him."

"Yes," Solomon agreed. No effort of consolation. Just the simple truth of the matter from one killer to another.

Aurelius buried his head in his arms. 'Was everything... just for this futility? Was it fate that kicked me around this damn world, or did I do it to myself?' He sat with those questions.

He saw himself wide-eyed on the battlefield, dead. Kendrick standing on his corpse. Cade with a crying baby in her arms. And the cycle repeats.

'Hell,' he recognized. 'I am in hell.'

'Run away,' his instincts told him. 'Leave Cade; it will end in tragedy. Let Zalfari be; you can't protect your blood, and maybe you shouldn't. Do not oppose Kendrick; you've already lost.'

"What is Kendrick?" Aurelius asked Solomon. He hadn't had the courage to broach the topic earlier, but he wanted to know. How scared was Solomon to abandon his country?

Solomon took a sip from his cup and leaned back, closing his eyes in reminiscence. "He is a force. Not one in and of himself, but one at the head of humanity."

"But is he a force for good?"

Solomon opened his eyes to stare at the roof. "For years, I've wondered the same. I once believed he was and let him take Solomonia. If your father hadn't been there, Kendrick would've taken over the world by now. I wonder if we would all be better off in that case."

Aurelius sat quietly. 'Solomon left. My father fought. Neither got what they wanted.'

"So I can take my father's old role and do war or stay out of it and watch as Kendrick massacres my bloodline for peace?"

Solomon shook his head slowly side to side. "I hoped reading the biography would've made you realize that you can be better than your father. And better than me as well." Solomon stood up slowly and spoke his last words as he fixed his chair. "Walk your own path even if that means your hair will stay black and gold."