After so much meticulous camera work, Jasson was caught between relief and disappointment when the Evaluator promised that Jasson and the twins would receive full completion pay. And after only one video! Jasson decided to feel relief since he had noticed how much he coughed while filming the video and was finding it an embarrassing waste of storage.

Once the Evaluator had completed a full loop of the goblin’s den and surrounding area, he had them all sign off on a piece of paper that Petra scrutinized carefully. Petra even had Jasson take a picture of the document so the Evaluator couldn’t change the wording later. Once he was handed back the paper, the Evaluator informed them that they would be paid upon returning to the guild and that they were to wait at the road for ‘assistance’. Then the Evaluator flew away.

“Dang, that’s useful.” Jasson said, following Petra back to the road, “He has places to be, so flying is a great ability for an Evaluator.”

“I have to agree,” Petra said, “But I wouldn’t do it with a monster’s Air Crystal if I were him, even if it is exceptionally large. Could you imagine if that broke mid-flight?”

“Yup,” Jasson said, pushing aside a branch, “Skydiving without a parachute.”

“What’s a parachute?” Petra said.

Jasson thought for a few seconds then said, “It’s something that slows you down when you fall.”

Petra waved a hand and said “Oh, he probably has that. Nobody flies without a backup.”

Following the marks Clara had made on the trees, Jasson and the twins made their way back to the road. They were considering leaving the way they had come, hiking on foot for another four hours but with more sleep deprivation, when a fancy carriage pulled up. It stopped beside them, the horses whinnying as the driver hauled on the reigns.

“What’s this?” Jasson said, “Do we get to meet the boss?”

The door to the coach opened and a massive man stepped out, covered head to toe in elaborate armor and grinning like he’d heard something funny.

“Quite the opposite,” the warrior said, “This carriage is for your return.”

“Awesome!” Clara beamed, “Perks of the job!”

Petra eyed the man then held out her hand and said “Thanks for coming. I take it there are other adventurers in the carriage Sir…”

“Master Baldric Caelum,” the soldier took Petra’s hand and kissed it, “You are a most observant woman Miss…”

“Petra,” Petra pulled her hand back, iron composure flickering, “It was a simple deduction. This was an urgent quest to deal with a monster infestation. It paid top dollar for goblin heads with less than twenty four hours to complete the job. Usually those with top dollar have men like you on hand to deal with it. But for some reason, their personal guard was unable to handle some goblins? There must have been dozens of nests, and a strict timeframe. So, while you were exterminating the bigger threats, you sent adventurers against the goblins and such. You probably posted a bunch of quest flyers, which explains how Jasson was able to get a hold of one. So this carriage must be to pick up all the bloody and dirty adventurers. But why one so resplendant? Of course-”

“A very talkative observant woman,” Baldric said, “You should know that I can’t give out any more details, although I’m sure you will discover them anyways. It is as you surmise. The nobles in question are already on this road, so we must pull you out without alerting them to the danger they were in.”

“Or so they don’t have our smelly bodies sully their day in the woods.” Petra said, and Baldric shrugged, “Fine. Let’s go guys. The curtains will be nailed shut and they probably took the cushions out.”

“Oh come now,” Baldric opened the door, “We’re not that bad. Besides, we brought luncheon. Unfortunately, you won’t be able to have it until we get appropriately away from the nobles and their guests.”

The inside of the carriage was not like most, with two small seats facing each other. Rather, it was a ring of seats around a good sized table that you might find at a diner. And it was most assuredly bigger on the inside.

“Woah!” Jasson rushed up, “Awesome! What kind of magic is this?”

“I haven’t the faintest idea,” Baldric said, “But please do not be destructive. Also, you’re the first ones we’ve picked up today. Enjoy the space, for now.”

****

“I’m not sure if I’m happy or upset about this.” Petra said as the last adventurer entered the carriage and she watched the man bleeding out on the table, “What about you Clara?”

“It’s terrible!” Clara looked to her sister and said “So many have died!”

They had finished picking up the adventurers, but only three out of the five groups had survived. Each time they pulled up to a failed quest, they saw the Evaluator waiting on the road. He’d shake his head sullenly and wait with Jasson and the rest as Master Baldric Caleum dove into the forrest. Hours would pass each time, and now the sun leaned drunkenly to evening as the coach kicked forward with its final occupants.

“Well yes,” Petra said, “But I’m also not squished like a rat in a barrel. ‘We’re not that bad,’ my foot! This carriage of theirs would have us sitting on the table if everyone had made it through their quests. Although, there is someone on the table already. No offense.”

The man bleeding on the table had a friend using Healing magic on him, the light pulsing weakly. The mage glared at Petra with bloodshot eyes, then sniffed and refocused on the magic she was forcing into the man. Their other companion was a male fighter who was staring blankly out of the closed window. On the other side, siting hunched in the corner of the round table, the lone survivor of another Adventuring party scowled at every opportunity. He was a gruff man, with dark eyes reflecting a light devoid of victory, yet there were smile lines at the corners of his eyes.

Petra sighed and held out her hand to the mage, saying “I can tell your mana is running low. I’m not that good at healing, but I should be able to do better than you.”

The mage hesitated but the man helpfully coughed up blood, prompting her to cave and hand the crystal over to Petra. There were a few stab wounds, but the worst injury was a blistered burn across his left side.

“Don’t you have a healer?” Clara said, “He’s not doing well.”

“He was the healer,” the mage said, “I was using his Crystal.”

“No kidding,” Petra said, and Jasson saw the wounds begin to seal back up, “You’re no good at this at all.”

So that’s what it looks like. Jasson thought. Kinda nauseating.

“Oi,” The mage said, “Don’t push it too hard! We just got it!”

“Would you rather he die?” Petra said, but the light did dim.

“No,” The mage said, “But he was looking forward to using it. Then he got hit by that water and the screams…”

The mage sniffed and the fighter looked dully out of the window. The only survivor of the other group scoffed.

“It’s not that bad,” the survivor said, “He’s weak if he dies from this.”

“We were ambushed!” The mage turned, exhaustion dripping from her, “Somehow they had built murder holes in the goblin’s cave entrance. We barely survived. We got trapped at the entrance and had to kill every single %*&^( before we could make our way to the king.

“Oh,” the survivor rolled his eyes, “You barely survived? By all means, keep feeling bad for yourself. I was wondering where my friends went, but I guess they were sipping coconuts!”

Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

Before the mage could spit back Clara interjected and said “Look, I don’t even know what your names are. If we’re feeling this talkative, we might as well introduce ourselves. My name’s Clara, this is my sister Petra and our friend Jasson.”

The others gave their names reluctantly, eyeing Clara’s blood splattered face. The mage was a woman called Calista, the zoned out fighter was a man named Brenor, and the bleeding healer was a man named Evan. The Survivor was a man named Areth.

“So what’s up with Brenor?” Clara said, “Is he bummed out about Evan? Or did something else happen?”

“Nah,” Calista said, “He’s just like that when he’s not fighting. Like your guy Jasson.”

Clara turned to Jasson and nudged him, almost cracking a rib, and said “Hey Jasson, you’re being rude.”

“What?” Jasson said, not looking up, “How?”

“We’re traveling with people,” Clara said, “It’s rude to be on your crystal.”

“That’s not how it is on the bus,” Jasson sighed, “Look, I’m just trying to charge my phone. I’m pretty slow at it.”

“Charge?” Calista leaned over, “Oh, I see. So your crystal needs to be energized with lightning. Can it only take shocks that small?”

“I don’t know,” Jasson said, “This is all I can produce.”

“Oh,” Calista held out her hand, “Let me see. I have a decent talent in light magic.”

Feral protectiveness flared through Jasson and he pulled his phone away from Calista, practically hissing.

“Jasson! You know that’s rude.” Clara said, “She’s allowing Petra to use an expensive healing crystal. Let her see your video crystal.”

Jasson took a breath and got ahold of himself, then handed his phone over with the light crystal.

“Oof,” Calista said, “your Light Crystal is almost dead. You’ll need to replace it soon. I’ll use mine, and I’ll be gentle don’t worry.”

Calista took out a finger-sized crystal and electricity started to arc to Jasson’s phone. Jasson watched intently, barely holding back his hair-trigger to demand his phone back. He felt naked.

“Hmm,” Calista said, “It beeped but I can’t read it. Here, I don’t want to break it.”

Jasson snatched it a bit too quickly and held it up. It was amazing, she’d been able to charge it to-

80% power. Subscribe for $5 a month (Promo.) to unlock the remaining battery.

What?! Jasson thought.

****

“Again, I’m terribly sorry for his behavior,” Clara said, bowing to the crying Calista, “I assure you that he was not upset with you personally. And that he doesn’t swear like that normally. And no, I don’t know the gods he was cursing. I don’t know Elong Scent or Geoff Bozos or why he was cursing them.”

The promised lunch hadn’t materialized yet, and Jasson hunched hangrily over the table. His phone had never had an artificial charge limit. Yeah, he’d seen limits put in various other things for ‘ecological’ reasons, but his phone had been fine! It might only be a few bucks, but something about the act of buying the rest of his battery was humiliating.

Calista had spluttered into tears before Clara forcefully silenced Jasson’s rant. Jasson felt bad for that, but how was he supposed to know that she’d think he was cursing her out.

“All right,” Petra said, holding the Healing Crystal out to Calista “Evan’s as healed as I can get him, at least without destroying the crystal. You can slap him awake if you want. He’s probably just enjoying some rest after a long couple of days.”

“Oh thank you,” Calista wiped tears from her eyes, “I- I-”

Clara reached across the table and took Calista’s hand, saying “It’s okay. You got him here. You did as much as you could. That’s enough.”

“You’re amazing,” Jasson said, “I’m sorry for exploding randomly. Thank you so much for charging my phone. It’s more than I could do in a day. You must be pretty powerful if you can charge my phone just like that.”

“Not really,” Calista said, dabbing her tears, “It’s…my family heirloom crystal. It’s a natural crystal, and goes to whoever is good enough at light magic in the family. At least a four hundred gold for one these days. I’m only average in power, but this crystal doubles my output.”

It takes me four minutes for a single percent, Jasson thought, You filled forty percent in four minutes. That’s…wow.

Jasson brought up his phone and checked his stats on FITbyte to see.

****JASSON’S STATUS****

| Strength | 105

| Agility | 132

| Intelligence | 153

| Wisdom | 92

| Charisma | 95

| Magic | 68

| Stamina | 117

| Luck | 158

“Yup,” Jasson said, “I have bad magic. Gods, how do I get better at that?”

“Oh that’s easy,” Calista said, “You gotta use magic for hours every day, training with your preferred crystals. It takes a lot out of your mana pool, but the pool grows over time so you should be fine. And you recover magic at a certain speed, which can improve moderately. With those sparks you’re making, either Light is not your element or you’ve never practiced in your life.”

Jasson said, “I’ll let you know that I’ve been charging this phone several hours a day for a week. And yes, I have improved.”

Calista smiled and said, “That’s amazing! Keep going. You’ll need to do that every day for a year, so best get the habits in now!”

A year? Jasson thought. To basically become a fast charger?

“Really?” Jasson said, “Did it take you that long?”

“Nope,” Calista said, “You’re just naturally bad at Light magic. You still have it though, and if you can grow then you can succeed!”

Jasson turned back to his phone. In only a week his magic stat had increased by eighteen points. Surely it wouldn’t take that long to get to Calista’s level, right? But then again, there was no way for Jasson to know what the right numbers were. They could be in the thousands and…well that would make Jasson very pathetic.

Man, Jasson thought, I wish there was an app for that.

****

Jasson spent the next few hours chewing on the last of their dried meat and scrolling through his phone. Eventually they came to a stop and the door opened, revealing a prim manservant and a mountain clearing beyond him.

“It is time for luncheon.” the manservant said from the door, “We are significantly far away. Enough that even an errant turn shouldn’t let the noble’s carriages within sight of you.”

“Can’t tell them they ‘aren’t allowed this way’, eh?” Petra said, “Is there a particularly adventurous noble?”

“I cannot say,” the manservant said, “I am simply the help.”

Jasson squinted outside and said “The sun is nearly set! This can’t be the right time for a Luncheon.”

“We never promised a time,” the manservant said, “But, it can be said that two groups of failed Adventurers were not anticipated. Master Baldric had to go and personally deal with the infestation in each case, resulting in significant delay.”

The manservant said this like he blamed them for the delay, and that the said delay was only an inconvenience for the weak of will. Not acknowledging at all the roaring in their stomachs.

“So,” Clara stood and grabbed the doorframe, “What’s to eat?

“Thank Master Baldric for this generosity,” the manservant sniffed, then stepped aside, “If it had been up to me I would have seen fit to provide you with some cucumber sandwiches. But he insisted. Right this way, the fire is roaring nicely.”

In front of the carriage, the horses had been taken off and a good sized tree had been used to make a roaring fire. Above the fire, slowly turning, was an entire pig. In one corner of the fire, a pot bubbled with mysterious soup. Steaming on a plate were sixteen baked potatoes, enough for everyone to get two. Except if Master Baldric had one then-

“Hold up,” Jasson said, “Where’s Baldric?”

“Master Baldric disembarked earlier,” the manservant said, “our lord required his presence rather sooner than expected. Something vital I’m sure. Now come, there are plates here and these things which we call ‘forks’. Try not to steal any, I did count and I’m sure that everyone else would not like being frisked because of your light fingers.”

The food was delicious, the pig somehow being cooked all the way through despite the short cook time, and Jasson was especially pleased with the buttery baked potato. But, when Jasson went up to get seconds, there were only seven potatoes remaining. Jasson had been paying attention to the food when he’d lined up, hunger making a man count the servings of everyone else. No one had taken more than one potato, and Jasson was the first to get seconds.

Huh, Jasson thought, I must have missed somebody.