It was like striking an arrow through the ribs, closer to the heart, merely lodged in there as one lost blood and was cruelly forced to reminisce about life as memories played back in rapid succession.
The sudden realization of his position, the ongoing complications and trickery following him at every turn, was suddenly making Rami desire so deeply to simply wake up at his dull apartment just in time for coffee. He sighed as he remembered his dear mother, who had been constantly lingering in the back of his mind ever since he opened his eyes to this new reality. Her last wishes for him were to visit her during the summer. They had been apart for so long he had forgotten that the last time he saw her was three years prior when she made her way to the city to see to his well being. He was beginning to regret it then not taking a weekend off to go taste his mother’s food, make her laugh, and fall asleep so uncomfortably on their living room sofa while she gently hummed a slow tune.
Rami felt so hopeless leaving Bullwick’s Potions that evening with Dolovan’s instructions to stay put till he heard from her again. She did not describe to him when or how she would reach back out but Rami felt that was none of his concern for everything seemed to be going against him at this point. All he really cared about anymore was to stay alive, keep his toad-head, as Dolovan called him a few times over when he misspelled several words writing a full account of everything that happened in Black Heart’s manor, attached to his body.
The sun had already begun to set when the trio stepped out of Bullwick’s. Noor was sweating bullets terrified of being noticed by the Circle’s spies for spending such an extended period of time in a potions shop. Dolovan had guaranteed it was nothing new to the coin-master of the Circle who would usually spend his afternoon’s threatening local shops for tariffs. It was however a delightful surprise when Dolovan let Yulhan follow both Noor and Rami out the shop even though Noor refused to show his relief so openly on his face.
“You are letting him come with us?” Noor had asked quite taken aback.
“Of course, he is your spy after all,” Dolovan had replied mockingly, looking at Rami.
But it wasn’t until they were well past the market did Noor finally turn to Yulhan and ask, “You truly had no idea where we were last night?”
Yulhan scoffed, “Of course, I did. You think I wouldn’t know that she would want to hold me hostage and have you two come back for me?”
“Well, it didn’t seem like it back in the shop when you pretended not to know, now did it?” Rami retorted while stepping up beside Yulhan.
Yulhan mimicked a laugh, “That was only to keep up my act.”
“Your act?” Noor retorted.
“Yes, my act. A simple minded fool such as yourself wouldn’t know it. She wouldn’t have let me be left alone like that if she did not think I was a fool,” Yulhan replied in high spirits.
Yet Noor turned back, knotting his eyebrows to ask, “And you playing a fool would help convince her you were hired by Azul…as a spy?”
Yulhan's face soured at once. He let his hands to his hip and started stammering, “W–well, she had already singled me out as the potential hostage out of the two of us. I would say it was the right call to further act simple and play along.”
Noor only rolled his eyes in reply to which Rami thought it absurd. It was not like Noor to give up on arguing back. He was clearly winning this argument. But the slight smile on Noor’s ever so rigid lips had given enough of a reason. He was only too quick for Rami to not see that relieved smile linger on.
The evening sun colored the chaotic streets of Keimitaan a bright orange. As they walked Rami felt the heaviness of his joints with every step. His muscles ached and his back was jolting in pain every now and then as if he had been carrying several pounds of bricks all day. To make matters worse, the ankle he seemingly twisted last night, and had magically healed itself in the morning, had begun to throb in pain, again.
The sleek cobblestone path slowly turned to a rough worn out road as the neat buildings morphed to crooked structures about to topple with one quick swing. He hadn’t noticed it in the morning but the change was apparent. He looked to be walking from a decent, adequately maintained area of the city to a derelict and forgotten division that was half owned and operated by gangs left to rot in the dark. A quite sad revelation.
They were reaching Azul’s residence when Rami’s eyes suddenly caught a man stumbling out of the gaming house ‘The Tigress’ sponsored by Butcher, situated right across from Azul’s place.
The man’s legs wobbled as he hopped about the stairs trotting his way to the roadside flailing his hands around till he finally ran into a pole and fell flat on the ground. The door to ‘The Tigress’ whipped open as a lady dressed in royal purple shouted out at the fallen soldier now smearing himself in mud.
“You must make your way home, Master Kaalu. That is not your bed,” the lady was much older and small in stature. Her face remained covered with a fan of purple and gold held to her chin quite elegantly.
“Perhaps I can make my way back in and test my luck again. I could send someone to get me more coins and wine,” the man flipped his head up in joy. But the lady only stayed silent, clearly expressing her disapproval.
It seemed regardless of her disapproving silence the man was quite determined to make his way back as he somehow managed to prop himself up on his legs when suddenly his mud covered face spotted Rami from across the street.
“Ascari!” he shouted, as he opened his hands wide, splattering mud about; some of it almost hitting the lady in her face if it wasn’t for her fan.
“Ascari!”
Rami panicked.
Noor was about to intervene when suddenly Kaalu jumped to his feet and ran up to wrap his muddy hands around Rami’s frame and squish him, oozing out the mud between their pressed clothes.
“Ascari, what an awful sur-r-r-prise!”
The tight hug made Rami sprout back into his senses as his mind repeated the lady’s words and he caught onto the name of the gentleman so eager to meet him. Rami managed to loosen himself from the man’s iron grip before the man himself let go of Rami to stare at him in shock of the cold greeting.
“Oh! Sorry,” the man said, wiping his face clean off the mud when it clicked. He was the spitting image of Nanji Kaalu, Azul’s boss, Rami’s supposed worst nightmare according to Dolovan. The cold wide eyes with the heavy face except for his slender nose which Rami thought may have been from his mother, was nothing but a younger recreation of the overlord of the Circle himself.
Rami’s mind raced. He did not recall learning Nanji had a son in the long hours Dolovan forced him to study. His eyes wandered to Yulhan and Noor, who seemed equally shocked. He was panicking. He did not know Nanji’s son’s name or anything about him let alone the relationship he had with Azul before Rami woke up in Azul’s body.
He looks about my age…Maybe he was Azul’s friend?...
Rami thought as he began to observe the man’s body language. His big smile with the open chest and firm grip on Rami’s shoulders made Rami think Nanji’s son was perhaps one of Azul’s close friends.
“Oh!...” Rami attempted to form a worthy greeting, making Noor and Yulhan hold their breath, “...What an awful surprise seeing you here as well!”
Rami laughed out loud breaking the ice, grabbing Nanji’s son in a much tighter hug than before. It may have taken a moment but as soon as Master Kaalu started laughing along with Rami it seemed all of Keimitaan sighed deeply in relief.
“Apologies, Ascari. I wasn’t at your funeral last night—well, I suppose it wasn’t a funeral after all anyway. I only heard of your resurrection this morning,” the man said, freeing Rami from his grasp as his words slurred and his breath stank of strong alcohol.
“No worries at all, Master Kaalu,” Rami replied, pushing his shoulders apart in an attempt to appear confident in his words.
Yet Master Kaalu’s eyebrows only knit for a moment before his hand flailed in front of his face, “Please, call me Naran, like you always have…or has being tortured in the dungeons changed you?”
Rami stared back at Naran as his finger pointed to Rami’s nose in accusation. Rami gulped not knowing what to say. Has a half-witted drunk man barely able to keep himself upright actually figured out that he was an imposter pretending to be the Circle’s coin-master?
Naran burst out laughing while his legs caught him from falling in every which way. Rami too laughed along, uncomfortably with a weary eye to Noor and Yulhan unable to fathom his conversation with a drunkard who had the ultimate power to end his charade once and for all.
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“What do you mean? No amount of torture would ever change me, Naran. I’ve been to the dungeons too many times now. It’s all too easy,” Rami tried recouping, carefully placing Dolovan’s notes on Azul’s previous arrests where he ultimately walked free.
Yet Naran only laughed with his hands to his knees before he heaved to a stand and said, “But I heard it was not the King’s guard that tortured you this time. I heard it was personnel from the King’s Army. And if my sources are correct it was Yara Dolovan, was it not?”
It did not feel real to hear her name being uttered by anyone in the Circle. Rami thought they had no idea who she was. And yet here he was listening to the very person’s name he was infiltrating the Circle for being spoken as if she was a well known figure to the Circle.
“Ha! Well, you are correct. It was her but there were others too, I think,” Rami replied and followed up without missing a beat, “How’d you know?”
Naran chuckled loudly before grabbing onto Rami’s neck and inching to his ear,
“I have my sources, the not-so-obvious ones…”
Naran’s eyes glanced at ‘The Tigress’ ever so quickly before winking back at confused Rami to continue, “...I suppose it was partly her wanting revenge for what happened to her father.”
“Her father?” Rami’s lips slipped before he could catch himself.
A sudden horse neighing loudly caught the crowd of four off guard. Naran threw his hands in the air exclaiming,
“Look at the time! I have lost it all. Apologies again, Ascari. I must head back. Father needs me to take care of something…I think.”
In a second, Naran had slipped his way to his horse being escorted by a servant and with a step and a plop he was on his horse sideways, patting the creature to start its course.
“See you later, Ascari…” Naran’s drunkard voice trailed off as the horse galloped away making it quite remarkable that Naran was still on his horse’s back in one piece before disappearing around the corner.
“That was Black Heart’s son,” Rami finally sighed in relief.
“That was Black Heart’s only son and the heir to the Circle,” Noor added.
“He doesn’t seem quite ready to take up on all of it, does he?” Yulhan pitied.
“I doubt Nanji Kaalu will ever hand his empire over to…that,” Noor sighed, to which Rami looked to him in disbelief, “You two knew Nanji had a son? A son?! And you never told me?”
A quick glance passed between Yulhan and Noor.
“Well, to be quite honest, you were supposed to know more than we do given that you are actually a part of the Circle,” Yulhan mumbled to which Rami scoffed back,
“But I’ve lost my mind, Yulhan. I’ve lost it! I don’t remember.”
“Alright, stop shouting. Let’s hope this is the last of it. You won’t have to know everything to survive for the next five—no, four days. Let’s wait for Dolovan to send the final word. Till then you get to stay hidden in your attic.”
Noor pointed to the half slanted building sitting across from ‘The Tigress’. The very top of it housed the very attic Rami woke up in only this morning. Strangely, it felt safe there as if no one could see Rami in his true self, afraid of the turn of events at every corner.
He nodded in reply to Noor repeating after him, “Let’s hope this is the last of it.”
But it wasn’t the last of it. You see, when Noor and Rami left Azul’s residence that morning they locked the doors to an empty, sad, and lonely place, ready to dull its way into non-existence in the coming few days as well.
Yet when the three of them walked up to the doors, Noor immediately noticed the lock was cracked open and a faint light was spilling through the slits. They exchanged a quick confused look, noticing muffled noise that they previously assumed was just the streets being loud, emanating from the house. Noor immediately grabbed the knob and pulled it open to suddenly be greeted by deafening chatter followed by light music from a poorly made string instrument and an overwhelming stench of alcohol…lots and lots of alcohol. The once quiet and desolate place was raging.
“HE’S BACK!”
A screeching voice bellowed immediately silencing the crowd packed shoulder to shoulder on the ground floor of Azul’s residence. Their heads turned in waves to all stare directly at Rami’s fragile frame standing dead center of the opened doors to his home. The shocked faces of the toothless, greased up, and half sober men suddenly turned to rowdy hoots and bellowing cheers.
“HE’S BACK!!”
“MASTER!!!”
“I KNEW IT! WE NEVER LOST HOPE IN YOU, MASTERRR!”
Rami watched as a wave of sweaty bodies swatted and surrounded him as if they were to attack him fists balled. Two men lifted Rami on their shoulders and bounced him up and down, pushing through the crowd, carrying him to the center of the hall like a hero returning from war having defeated all his enemies.
“Do something!” Yulhan shouted over to Noor, who took a moment to gauge the situation then quietly turned around to close the doors behind them. “Noor!”
Noor wanted to stay put, his emotions had been on a rollercoaster all morning. He was too tired of having to deal with another chaotic moment again. Yet seeing Yulhan so adamant about it he grunted loudly before pushing Yulhan to a quieter end of the room and making his way through the cheering and resisting bodies, carving his way to Rami.
“No, wait. Stop!” Rami went unheard as the men started chanting his name and forced tubs of alcohol down his throat all the while holding him by his ankles, dangling him in the air, as they rocked him like a clock chiming the time.
“I–” Rami felt the alcohol pour out from his mouth like a waterfall washing over his face and blinding his eyes. He only managed to spit out the last of it when a smaller man, balding with barely any hair left on his head, crept from under a pair of legs to smile widely at him with hands clasped.
“Master Ascari, I could not believe the news that you had returned when I heard so last night! I did you the favor of calling for everyone this morning. We have been waiting for you, Master!”
Rami palmed his face in frustration. The plan was to not call Azul’s men, the plan was to stay put and out of more complication. But that was with the assumption that nobody else would intervene and make that decision themselves. Rami had found the culprit, the one that had made things worse. And he had an inclination that the man smiling wide with his yellowed teeth sparkling at him was only just beginning to cause him his chain of troubles.
Suddenly, Rami felt his body be hoisted almost as if air itself moved him. His ankles touched the top of a table and his head was finally upright looking at faces instead of feet. The brief change in direction made him woozy, making him see double of everyone. Quickly, the heavy palm of Noor caught his chest before he could tumble to the floor as the blood from his head finally rushed back to his organs.
“Step aside!” Noor shouted at the lads going for Rami’s ankles for round two.
“Master Ascari, you look paler than usual,” said the man Rami spoke to only moments ago, “Master, it is I, Heril. What is it that you need, Master?”
Rami simply waved his hand taking a quick moment to wet his chalk white lips while he breathed deeper. Rami had not realized, while he took a moment to himself, the crowd gathered had stepped back to the floors and quietened with whispers beginning to travel across the room.
“You must say something,” Noor whispered to Rami’s ears, “You must not appear weak.”
It was that word again, weak. Rami has had a hard time swallowing the word ever since Dolovan had pointed it out. And this time when Noor whispered it to his ear he physically reacted, pulling away from Noor’s grasp and stepping up to the edge of the table.
Heril, who was beside Rami, stepped down to the floor with the rest as they all turned to their returned leader for words, any words.
For a moment, the distaste pumping through Rami’s veins made him believe he could stare at a full room of men, rugged and frail, and actually say a few words so captivating that they would be loyal to him for years to come. But as time passed, he began to focus on each face, imagining what they must be thinking of him, laughing at him, doubting him, and most importantly figuring out that he was not their confident leader but an imposter posing as an astound figure. His heart began to race, making him gasp for air every moment after. His palms were left sweaty and his eyes wondering about the room when he spotted Yulhan slowly nod in encouragement.
“Um…okay,” Rami cleared his throat. He felt the room fall to pin-drop silence. “Uh…Hi…” His hand automatically pulled up to a tiny hand wave to his side. A wave of confused faces followed. Noor side-eyed Rami in part confusion and part embarrassment.
“Hello, everyone. I–I am glad you made it back. He–Heril here…” Rami digressed, pointing to the old man at his knees, grabbing for straws, “...let me know that you all made it back! Even after I went missing for weeks…”
Rami smiled and waited as the deafening silence rolled over once more and he was left with nothing but an eye roll from Noor.
“...But I assure you-all that…um…my time in the dungeons have not set us back…” Rami said louder, hoping to get somewhere.
With a few faces lighting up he continued, “...I escaped the dungeons for you!...They tortured me, laughed at me, made my break! A part of me wanted to give up then. But I…could not. I could not do so…why couldn’t I?...be–because I am your leader–”
“Master,” Noor whispered back.
“–Master!...The reason I made it out was because of you! You made me not lose hope! And as your master I vowed to myself that I will not abandon you! And that I will make it home for you! I am your Master Azul Ascari and I…am…back!”
A roaring cheer arose from the crowd as they jumped up in bellowing screams and clinked their mugs to the point a few broke. The excitement reverberated across the walls as Rami watched his new subordinates cheer his presence and shout out in happiness.
Noor turned to Rami and nodded with a swift comment, “That was a good recovery.”
Rami felt proud, elated that he had somehow managed to get his first true win in this reality. He had managed to live up to a rather mandatory expectation of a charming leader to give a home-coming speech to his workers upon their discovery that their employer was alive and would have work for them so they could finally start getting paid again.
Although the reality of their true cheers was for the return of their familiar leader, Rami felt it be almost gratifying that his racing heart and squeaky throat did not disappoint him tonight in front of such a crowd. In his reality, Rami had always avoided large meetings, not even ones with only a couple of people let alone an entire room brimmed to the edge with rowdy figures. In his reality, he would have crumbled when speaking, fearing that his very words could build or break his career.
But tonight, when the stakes were very much higher than his mere office job, stakes that held his neck at the chopping block, stakes that had his life dangling between the sharp sword of Dolovan and the stubby fingers of Black Heart ready to choke him in a heartbeat, he felt himself jump over a hurdle he had run away from for so long.
He was beginning to feel the electricity running through his body seeing the audience call out for him. He felt ecstatic as if he had conquered the world. The adrenaline pumping through his veins fed the glory to his brain. He was finally beginning to see the positives to blurring the lines between fearing his situation and embracing it with open arms.