Emma blinked listlessly as the morning sun blinds her right eye. She slowly sits upright beside the chair, mind still recovering from the nightmares. Despite the alluring comfort the chair provide, Emma did not sit down on it as she stared listlessly on the floor.

It was a dull, soulless task, but for some reason, she did not want to move. Emma wanted to stay like that forever, staring down the soft carpet till the end of time. Not wanting to ever move a muscle ever again. Alas, the knock on the door had broken that hope to pieces.

"Breakfast is ready my lady." A maid said softly as she slowly opened the door. "My lady are you-!!! My lady!" The maid immediately ran to her side when she saw Emma lying still beside the chair. It was like a puppet who suddenly lost all of its strings and left to rot by the winds of time.

"What happened my lady! Are you sick?? Are you currently not feeling well?? I'll call the doctor immediately so-" "Quiet..." Emma cuts off the maid as she slowly lifted her gaze. The maid was about to continue when she met Emma's gaze. For a moment, winter rages from within, before turning dull once more. "The day barely started." Emma grumbled as she slowly rises.

The maid hesitated for a moment before she gathers her composure once more when she noticed Emma's pale complexion. "Are you sure you are all right, my lady?" The maid carefully inquires as Emma clicks her tongue. "What does it look like?" Emma grumbled as her eyes soon shook off the exhaustion.

The young lady stumbled out of her spot as she made her way towards the door at a lethargic paste. "M-my lady if I may, would you perhaps have your breakfast here instead?" Emma paused as she slowly turned to face the maid again.

She stared listlessly into her eyes before nodding slowly. "Sure, thanks." Emma replied half-heartedly as she slowly made her way towards one of the chairs. "O-oh umm, ok then my lady! I will bring your food in no time!" The maid said before disappearing into the door.

Emma crashed down towards the previous comfy chair as she stared listlessly at the ceiling. "Hmm." Emma hummed as her body slowly sinks from the soft fur. This... its too soft... Emma thought in displeasure as she moved back towards the floor below.

The floor below was significantly harder than the chair, but Emma found it more comfortable than the fluffy chair that seemed to suck her in. She leaned her head against the wall, trying to recollect herself in the somber silence. ...What now? Emma pondered.

Do I really have to do this all over again? A frown stretches across her face. ...Do I have to fight all over again? Her head titled towards the open window, towards the open sky. ...I don't want to... She thought as her eyes were growing heavy now. ...I don't want to...

Her heavy eyelids slowly comes crashing down on her world, dragging her back to sleep. And for a moment, she was at peace. The world around her was silent. There are no voices from the maids nor the vexing shouts of the knights, just the sweet bliss of silence... then a heavy knock jolts her right up.

Emma closed her eyes once more as she tries to ignore the knocking, but the sound persists and grows ever stronger with each second that passes. Finally having enough, Emma rose from her seat before marching towards the door.

"Kalva be damn, can't you just leave the food-" as soon as the door opened, Emma's eyes widen in surprise for a moment as Elias stood there instead of the maid. Her expression immediately hardens akin to steel as she straightens her posture. Exhaustion had been replaced with caution and bitterness.

"..."

"..."

They silently watched one another as if they were waiting for the other to speak. Once upon a time, Emma would gladly struck up any chance of a conversation she could get from anyone. Their approval was everything. In another time, in another place, perhaps she still would.

Emma now knew better. Every second that has been wasted, every breath that it is spent went for nothing. A lifetime of chasing was already enough for her, there won't be a second time time. Not now nor would it ever be.

Elias noticed at the frown plastered over Emma's face. The young man did not know what to make of it. A surprise to be sure but nothing too extreme that warrant an answer from him like the incident of the river. "...Father said to visit him after breakfast..." Elias said as he waited for a reply.

Emma said nothing as she simply nodded back in reply. Now slightly concerned, Elias spoke what he never once did in Emma's previous lifetime. "...Are you sick?" Elias asked with a tinge of concern in his voice. Emma would have been leapt in joy for this momentus occasion alone. Her brother had finally spare an attention to her, a desire her younger self so desperately seek.

Now, Emma could feel nothing but a rising revulsion and disgust after hearing the words that came out from his mouth. Like a cockrowch crawling through her legs, Emma had to restrain herself before she lashed out to the man who had helped her pushed beyond this point.

"...I am fine, young master." Emma whispered in a controlled voice as Elias eyes widen for a moment. "Are you sure? You don't-" "If you don't need anything from me , then I'll take my leave first. I am still feeling under the weather." Emma cut Elias off as she slowly closes the door.

"...Wait..." Elias said, forcing Emma to pause for a moment. "...Take care of yourself." Elias whispered softly before leaving, unknowing to the distraught and outraged maiden from beyond the door. That bastard... that bastard...

The door closes shut as Emma balled her hands for control. Peace Emma... peace... Emma thought to herself as she tries to calm the building anger inside of her. The thought barely comforts her as she forcibly stowed herself to the corner of the room, muffling her ragged voice as much as possible.

"Now's not the time... control yourself... control..." Emma whispered to herself as she dispels the suffocating hatred dwelling inside her heart. She could feel the fire stroking ever stronger in silence from within whenever Elias was around, but just like before, it quickly died when he was nowhere to be seen.

"...Control... just...control..." Emma whispered to herself as she now once again feel like an empty husk, devoid of identity... of purpose. A soft knock rattles on her door once more. Emma opened the door and thankfully this time, it was the maid, carrying with her a breakfast that she had not tasted for so long.

֍

"You're here." The duke said in acknowledgement as Emma only gave a curt nod in reply. The duke did not seemed to be bothered with it as he continues sorting through the mountain of documents with ease.

Silence enveloped the two liked before as they waited for the other to speak. Emma showed no intention of speaking as she simply stared at the shuffling papers. The duke finally decided to speak first as he cleared down his throat when he saw the clear disinterest in her eyes.

"I have just received news just this morning from the imperial palace." The duke said as he continues to work, not noticing the veins bulging from Emma's hands. "They have agreed on the proposal and will send high prince Kier on the morrow afternoon."

That damn traitor... Emma silently cursed as she unconsciously gnashed her teeth in frustration, making an unpleasant sound. "...?" Emma stopped midway when she noticed a small frown creasing from the duke's brow.

"Is there is something you wished to say Emma?" The duke asked as he reluctantly went back reading the papers. Silence permeated the hall as the duke grew ever more impatient. "If you have nothing else to say, then you may leave now." The duke said dismissively.

Emma finally gathered her words as she opened her mouth to speak. "Father..." Emma shivered slightly at the word, feeling ill to even address him in such titles. "... I wished to cancel the engagement with the high prince." Emma said as the paper the duke was holding wrinkled for a moment.

"..."

"..."

The duke removed all attention he had on the papers and devote everything to Emma as he stared her deeply in her sapphire eyes. "I will ignore what I've just heard this one time. Now do-" "I meant it... father." Emma said as the brow in the duke's eyes scrunched deeply.

"..."

Support the creativity of authors by visiting the original site for this novel and more.

"..."

The suffocating silence returned as the two were locked in a tidal combat in the eyes. With each second that passes, the insufferable silence grew ever stronger. The air in the room seemed to freeze as the duke spoke in a low, controlled tone.

"What do you mean?" The duke spoke quietly with the force that could only manifest after decades of experience. Emma did not backed down as she tapped back into her old self. "I mean what I said." Emma coolly whispered back in reply as the glare in the duke's eyes sharpen.

"I don't want to marry the high prince." A loud bang echoed across the room as the duke rose from his feet with a terrifying rage in his eyes. "Are you out of your mind?" The duke shouted to what seemed to be first time in a decade.

"You want to cancel a proposal from the imperial family itself?? Preposterous! Our entire reputation will sink to the ground! Do you have any idea what that means Emma?? Thousands of lives will be affected Emma! And that will be-" "Are they more important than me?"

Emma cuts the duke words midway as silence falls through the room. The duke had an indescribable look on his face as he heard those words. "Are these, titles and fame worth more important to you than me father?" Emma whispered in a struggle as she held back the tears.

For all the contempt and vendetta Emma has on her father, a small portion of her young and innocent self still remained. Perhaps it was because he was her father, perhaps it was because she hoped that she will be able to reach him this time, perhaps it was something else entirely, nevertheless she hoped.

A small portion of herself hoped that even after all the things he had done, even after all the failures he had made that ruined her entire life, Emma hoped that even after all that, a father still remained and loved her back just like any parent would to their child.

"...What will happen to our people? Do you not realize the fall out this will cause? Our people will suffer more than us Emma. They-" "Am I not human in your eyes??" Emma broke off with a cry as tears slowly trickled down from her cheek.

"Emma!" The duke cut off, enraged by the mere notion Emma was implying but she did not stop. "Am I just a tool in your eyes?? Being used whenever convenient and thrown away when its uses are done?" Emma cried as the duke looked further enraged.

"What are you saying Emma?! Of course I do-" "No you do not! Everything you ever spent on, every time you have wasted are only for the good of 'the people!' What of us?? What of me??" Emma snapped back as the duke's eyes shifted to one of perplexed.

"Are you seriously going to act like a child now? You are almost 15 Emma, it is the perfect time to find a partner at that age. You are lucky too as the high prince-" "No it's not! That is not what I want!" Emma shouted as the duke's brow furrow even further.

"I don't want to marry the high prince, it is not what I want! Why can't you understand that?!" Emma shouted. "The imperial family can protect you two and the realm when I am gone! Your brother won't have to go for war! The people-" "There it is again!" Emma cut off the duke again.

"The people this, the people that, admit it father! You are only worried about the people and the land! You have never cared for us!" Emma yelled as the duke quivered slightly. "Do you truly think that?" the duke whispered as he was barely containing his rage.

"Do you truly thought I value you two so little? Everything I had done, everything that I will do was for the sake of both of you and your brother. It had always been for the two of you." Emma blinked in surprised as she had never thought to hear those words.

"I had made alliances with several people. Build an army that would even make the imperial family worry. All of it were for you and your brother's sake. So that one day when I'm gone, you two won't have to worry." Emma went silent as the duke waited for an answer.

After everything she had to go through after their father died, Emma could not believe what he was saying. A small ember in her dark world seemed to flicker back to life as she considered his words greatly. If it was all a misunderstanding on her part...could she perhaps forgive?... begin anew?

"...Then prove it." Emma let out a whisper, a soft pleading whisper from daughter to father. "Prove it to me father by just being on my side. This once, just this once. Be on my side just this once and null this engagement..." Emma whispered as she went down on her knees.

"Emma-" The duke began, alarmed by the sudden desperation his daughter had shown. He was cut off however, when his daughter continued, almost crying. "I-if you meant what y-you said... then please... null it.

I have no need for army's that could take over the world nor do I need riches beyond counting... I just need you... please... dad... just be with me this one time, just this once... please..." Emma whispered as she now waited for an answer.

Duke Erfast's mouth opened and closed for a moment before finding the words to say. "...Why?" Hope flickered inside Emma's desperate eyes when she heard those words. A chance... there was a chance.

"Just why are you so against it Emma? Weren't the two of you close back when you were young? Why would you be so against this now?" The duke asked in a soft tone for the first time for as long as she could remember.

"...It's a lie father..." Emma whispered in a heartbroken tone as the duke's eyes widen in confusion. "...His love...his warmth... all of it are lies. He... he already had a lover that the imperial family secretly hoped." Emma whispered as painful memories wash back.

Memories after his death that would unfold beyond counting. Memories that forced her to take up the spear. Emma hated those memories as it was a constant reminder of her sacrifice that had been reduced to ashes. A single woman that had took everything from her.

"! Who? Who is this wench that dare-" The duke stopped midway when he saw her daughter looked so defeated in her eyes.So utterly broken was she that Erfast was forced to take a step back.

The duke did not know what to say as he simply waited for her to continue. "I...I cannot bear to marry someone like him again father... I... I cannot bear to go through it all over again... so please... don't sell me to the imperial family and listen to me..." Emma whispered in a quiet voice.

The duke sink back in his chair as he begins to seriously contemplate what to do. His old wrinkles seemed to aged further when the sudden revelation Emma had spoken off. He was so entranced by his thought that he failed to notice the ruined table he had.

The beautifully stacked papers, the clean and orderly stamps were thrown all out of control as the Duke wrestled his mind for answers. When his brow creased and spoke in a low tone, Emma's faint hope was breaking apart, piece by piece.

"I do not know what to say, Emma. You speak of it with certainty, so sure were you that one might think you have been there..." Emma tighten her jaw as she realized that she may have leaked a secret she had kept till now, but more so for the tone he had always used before denying her back in the past.

"If what you say is true, then I will demand for the imperial family to abandon the girl. I will also send some spy on this matter, but other than that, I still won't revoke the marriage... I'm sorry." The duke whispered as Emma's world came crumbling down.

That's it? That's all you have to say??... Emma thought in utter disbelief as her shoulder sank low and begins to tremble. "...Emma dear think of the good this will bring to you in the future. You might not see it now, but it will do you good later. I promise." Emma flinched as the bile returns from her mouth.

Do me good?... This will do me good? Ha...hahaha if only you knew. Emma wanted to scream in rage but could not find the strength to do so as she felt so betrayed. Again... It happened again... "...I should have known this would happen..." Emma whispered in a desolated tone. Tears leaked from her now dull sapphire eyes as she whispered.

"...I was a fool for even hoping for a second..." "Emma..." The duke could say nothing before his crying daughter as she suddenly straightened her back. "You have been the best noble I had ever known Duke Erfast." The duke flinched to the formal title Emma was using.

"You had guided our people to peace and prosperity. Always been fair to common and noble folk alike. Defended our realm for years against the other kingdoms and monnsters... but you have never been a good father." Emma snarled as the duke eyes blinked back in utter bewilderment. If it was any other occasion it would have been funny. It would have been something they could poke at for years to come... it could have...

"You might have been the greatest beacon of nobility there ever was Duke Erfast. The people would remember and love your reign... but you were the worst father anyone could ever hope for." With that, Emma turned and fled after saying what she had been keeping for all those decades within.

Tears streaked down on her cheek as she ran further away. The faint hope she had ever believed from him, the frail warmth she had felt decades after his death... it was all a lie. A big miserable lie.

Emma immediately ran back to her room as she locked the door shut. Her ragged breathing rang loudly in the air as she controlled the welling madness and terror in her mind. I have to get out of here... Emma thought as she turned towards the window, towards outside.

Beyond there was a world full of harsh adversities that she will encounter. Too much for a young clueless noblewoman like her. Thankfully however, she endured a lifetime of hardship just for this moment. The thoughts were the only thing lighting up in her dying world like the last remnants of a dying star.

I have to leave... I have to get out of this place!... I can't do this... I can't do this again! Emma thought in delirium as she remembers the face of Kier, the high prince. Her hatred and fear flowed like the river as she begins to plan for her freedom.

֍

You were the worst father anyone could ever hope for. The words Emma spoke shook the duke to the very core. Duke Erfast had face many adversities. He had fought many monsters at a young age. He had defeated armies that one would cower and fear from.

He never once falter in the face of monsters, scared as he may be. Never once retreated from armies that dwarfed his own, terrified as he may be. He had faced all of this and came out stronger than ever... but the words his daughter said had dealt a titanic blow no monster nor armies of men could ever hope could do.

It was as if a small part of himself died when she said those words. It had left him devastated more than the death of his wife. Erfast grieved at the death of his beloved, but he manages to hold on as he dedicated everything he had to work just to forget his wife.

For the people and the children, yes but more so for his wife. He had done everything he could till now just to forget the lingering emptiness in his heart when his wife died. He might have neglected his children's childhood, especially Emma as she was nothing more but a baby then.

So, he worked more than ever before as Emma begins to grow up just to make sure she was happy. He proposed to the imperial family when he noticed Emma eyeing the high prince affectionately, accumulated wealth so she may spend as much as she pleased.

Everything he had done then was for her to never feel lonely without her mother... but the words she had said today made everything feel so utterly worthless. She was still in pain, even worst, she detested him. It was the one thing he had hoped never to experienced.

"...What should I do dear?" Erfast whispered softly as he covered his eyes with his hands. Tears threaten to fall over from them, but he endured it all like he normally would. "Just what do I need to do to make her happy?" He whispered praying for his wife to hear his desperate plea.