"...I should be dead..." Emma whispered as she stared at the reflection in the mirror. Her once firm and scarred skin was now smooth and soft. Even her short and disheveled hair was now long and silky once more.

"...yet... I'm still here." Emma whispered as she listlessly stared at her reflection. She should have been happy, she should have rejoiced for the second chance in life she had been given to... yet Emma could not feel any of those emotions. Not even a spark of it.

"...Haaa..." Emma let out a heavy sigh as she pinched the bridge of her nose. She was back to her childhood days, a memory she buried deep within the recesses of her war-torn mind. The scars she bears that day were beginning to fester once more.

What made it worse was the strange hollowness inside her. She did not remember she had one but for whatever reason, she felt...empty. Like a shard of herself was missing in her entire being. She knew she had to find it, to find the missing shard... but what was it? Emma could not remember no matter how long she pondered about it.

As if it was at the tip of her tongue, Emma wracked her brain for answers but only the lingering emptiness remains. It felt wrong. It simply felt wrong. Just what is this- "Lady Emma, Duke Erfast summons you." Emma blinked as she heard the man's name.

She could feel her chest tighten ever so slowly as the memories of the man begins to crawl out of its cage like a vile abomination. Steeling her nerves, Emma manages to reign in order once more. "Very well." She whispered calmly as she begins to dress in her nightgown.

As Emma was changing her clothes, she notices a gaze over her shoulder. Her old instincts kick in and immediately begins searching for the source of the gaze as her hand reaches in for a weapon. She soon stops as she met the maid's startled look.

"What?" Emma said. "N-nothing my lady. I will just wait outside then." The maid manages to reply before leaving. Emma stares at the door a moment longer, trying to figure out what was that all about. She soon dismiss her thought as she continues dressing.

Emma wore a simple emerald dress with very little decoration in the standards of the nobility. It perplexed her to no end how if she ever wore such bright clothes . Memory was a fickle thing, but she just can't remember it.

Emma soon walk out the door and found the maid waiting for her. The maid had a disapproval expression written across her face before speaking. "That was fast my lady, though your clothes..." The maid hinted but Emma's mind was somewhere else as she began to walk. "My lady? Where are you going? Aren't you going to change? It is not fit to meet the duke in such-"

A scowl suddenly lit up across Emma's face, startling the maid. "You. What is your name?" Emma bluntly said as the maid trembled slightly. "I-Ifelin. My name is Ifelin of Frush my lady. Is there-" "There is a problem, yes. A certain maid keeps rambling on and on that my ears are beginning to fall off." Emma said as Ifelin paled.

"M-my lady if I had done something wrong to aggravate you, please let me-" "Leave." Ifelin blinked, unsure by the sheer frost of Emma's voice. "P-pardon?" Ifelin meekly inquired as Emma's cold gaze remained. "I said leave. Do some chores, anything for that matter. Just leave me be." Emma said before turning back.

Memories slowly clicked into place as her ire slowly grew more by the second. She could recall now how everyone treated her back then. No matter how hard she tried, they never did gave back the warmth she always give. There was no need to continue this time. Emma forcibly dragged her attention back to reality as her mind would only degrade by the second.

She slowly walked towards the hallways of her childhood days. Emma couldn't help but despise everything in it. From the painting of old ancestors to the cobalt blue hues of the walls, Emma loathed them for every second of it as she finally stood before the door.

Beyond it was the man she wished to never see again. She took a deep breath before gently knocking on the door. "Come in." A cold hard voice answered as she slowly turned the handle of the door.

Despite the exquisite and excessive decorations outside the halls, the room could only be said to be plain and simple as it barely had anything of decorations to note off. Only two sofas and a wide table could even be considered as decorations as everything else was used.

A man covered in mountains of papers appeared before Emma. He spare a glance towards Emma but nothing more than that. He wore a simple yet presentable black suit with the Larum insignia carved in its right chest. His well combed jet-black hair and cold cobalt eyes widens slightly as he saw Emma but it soon returned back to normal.

Emma could feel her old memories resurfacing at the back of her mind. She immediately felt fear as she met with those eyes... as well as an ever-growing resentment within her heart. Still, she respectfully enters the room and gave a polite bow.

An awkward silence envelops the room as Emma waited for her father to speak. "I've heard you fell off of a bridge?" Duke Erfast whispered with an indifferent tone of his voice. Emma silently nodded as she waited for more questions.

"...You have grown awfully quiet today haven't you?" The duke finally spoke after a long time of silence. Emma simply nodded as she restrained the gnawing anger and fear from within. Another long silence envelops the room as the rustling of papers could only be heard.

The duke seemed to have grown tired of waiting as he continues. "You will be turning 15 this month so it is in due to time that we find you a proper partner...unless you go to the academy in the next two years." The duke said indifferently.

"...I don't want to..." Emma answers as she gathers the courage within her. The duke paused before giving Emma a cold stare. Emma flinches slightly but did not back down. "I am not going to take a no this time. You will choose one." The duke firmly replied as he went back to the papers.

Emma chews her lips as she tries to contain the growing anger within her. "...And I choose neither." Emma whispered with a tinge of frustration leaking out on her voice. The duke let out a heavy sigh before staring back at Emma, colder than ever before.

"Are you going to be this stubborn till the end?" The duke asked. "Yes." Emma replied without pause as she tries to suppress the fear of the past from taking over her voice. The duke frowns slightly to Emma's reply.

"I am giving you a choice Emma; you should be grateful that I even gave you one unlike the others." Her small fingers curls into a fist as if to signify her anger over the matter. Emma opened her mouth to reply but was cut off before she can even speak.

"You have until your birthday. By then, I am expecting an answer from you." The duke added before reading back to his papers. Emma's teeth gnashed against one another as she tried to think a way out.

An idea suddenly pops into her mind as the bubbles of frustration slowly pops and dies out. "Leave if you have nothing else to say." Emma's brows furrow for a moment before bowing politely, praying that the duke never noticed her change.

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

Emma turned to open the door when it suddenly opens on its own. Emma felt her stomach drop as white hot anger blooms within her. Before her was a man dress in the Larum knight's cobalt uniform and a face that had been a spitting image of the duke. Elias Le Larum. Heir of the Larum Dukedom.

You... Emma's heart ignited into rage as she saw one the faces she despised. For a brief moment, Emma tried to reach out for her spear, only to find empty air beside her. "What are you doing?" Elias word's seems to broke her delirium for a moment as she hurriedly regain her composure.

"My apologies, it seems I am a little out today." Emma briefly replied before moving away from Elias as she could not endure being within his presence any longer. Elias eyes seemed to widen for a moment but relaxes thereafter when the door shut closed.

As soon as Emma walked back towards her room, she bolted the door shut as she tries to regain her composure. Anger seemed to boiled within her for a moment. Threatening to spill at the slightest provocation.

Elias you traitorous bastard! Emma thought as she grabbed the nearest pillow and begins to choke it mercilessly. Because of your blind headed love, I had to defend this godforsaken land! If it weren't for you I would still have my men! I would... still... have them...

Then just as fast as her anger grows, so does the hollowness inside as she slowly calms down to a halt. Her once boiling anger that had fueled her body felt empty again as she did not know what to do. Only the crippling loneliness remained.

Emma slowly sinks down towards the floor as she stared at it listlessly. My men... I would have still... Emma thought hazily as she continues to stare down at the floor. The smooth blue carpet gathered her attention as tears slowly fall from her cheek.

An overwhelming grief suddenly assailed her mind as she silently wept for them. Men who had died for nothing, men who had their entire trust betrayed from their eyes right before their lives were taken. Emma silently grieves their death as no one else remembers.

Just... just why did they have to die?! Emma screamed from within as she begins to trembles violently. They did nothing wrong! None of them deserved it! None of us deserved it... None... of...us... deserved it...

Then as if she was tired of it all, her entire being seemed to stop. Her eyes did not blink, her nose did not breathe as she only stared at the floor endlessly with an empty expression. Emma did not know why, but she did not seemed to be even bothered with it.

She knows she had to breathe, she knows she has to fear this suffocating silence... yet she could not. She simply felt...tired. "Lady Emma? Breakfast is ready." The soft knock of the maid seemed to have finally broken her mesmerized state as she breathed in deeply.

"Not now. I can't fall now." Emma mumbled as she regained her grip back to reality. "Lady Emma?" The maid knocked again, not allowing Emma to think any further of those that have fallen. "I'm coming..." Emma answered as she reached for the handle.

֍

"Captain!"

"Please save us!"

"i-it hurts... c-captain it hurts..."

Emma could not move, nor could she scream no matter how hard she desperately tried. Her body simply refused to listen as she watched her men being butchered one by one. Some were picked off as stragglers from the coming cavalry while others defiantly made their last stand.

They either killed scores of enemies before finally being dragged down by overwhelming numbers or being stabbed and pierce as they ran for their lives. And Emma was forced to watch them all die as they screamed for her name.

She could not jump and join in the fray, as much as she wanted to. She could not shout and warn the others, as much as she wished to. She could not even turned her gaze nor shut her eyes, as much as she prayed to.

All of this, played in her dream over and over again... until it changed. In a blink of an eye, Emma stood before the battlefield. Their bodies were strewn from all across the land as she was the only one left standing.

Emma, realizing she can suddenly move, begins to ran towards the bodies and check each one for any signs of life. "Anyone! Is there anyone still out there!" Emma desperately screamed as she pulled one body after another to check any signs of life.

With each passing second however, she became painfully aware how alone she was. "Ilias! Michael! Tom! Please! Anyone! Just anyone! Please, answer me!" Her voice begins to break as tears threaten to fall over.

"Jayna! Mark! Iva! Flint! Answer me damn you!" Emma could not even try to calm herself down as tears fall like the river from her eyes. No matter how loud she shouts, no matter how loud she screamed, no one answers.

"Niel! Kien! Raz! Ans-" Emma was cut short as she trips over from one of the corpses. Emma tries to stand back up but stopped as her pupils widen. Below her, was a man who had his eyes still opened. "...Please... anyone... just anyone... please... answer me..." Emma whimpered softly as strength left her legs.

Their dull and lifeless eyes were still opened as the horror right before their death was still imprinted in their faces until the very end. The regret... the fear... it was all too much. Emma let out a pitiful groan as she mourns the dead before her.

She closed her eyes tightly as she bit her lip until it bleeds. "Aughh..." She was about to scream in pain when a chilling voice suddenly whispered in her ears. "Why?" A single hoarse voice whispered in her ears as she was forced to open her eyes once again.

The scene changes once more as she locked gaze with a child, her spear piercing through his guts. His small frame recoils from the pain as he stare Emma in fear. Emma let goes the shaft of her spear as if she was just bitten by a snake.

"No... no... no... no." Emma whispered, hoping the words would deny the reality before her as she slowly backed away from the dying child. She turned around violently as she tries to run away from the horror. What greeted her instead was something more painful than the child.

Houses were burning to the ground. The street laid with bodies of the innocent to what Emma could only understand. One particular pair caught her eye however as she begins to weep again. An injured girl crying out to her unmoving, dead mother.

"Mama... p-please help me... mama..." The girl weakly cried out as she tugged the hem of her mother's dress. Seeing her mother not responding, the little girl slowly crawled back to her dead mother's embraced before a burning pyre burned the dream away.

֍

Emma screamed at the top of her lungs, finally breaking free from her shadowed nightmare. Her hands trembled violently as tears streak all across her cheek. She blinked, relief washing over her eyes for a moment before a crushing guilt consumed her world. It was supposed to be a dream. A nightmare. One she was supposed to wake up from. Before she remembers. Before she saw those dull, lifeless eyes. A whimper manages to escape from her lips.

"I'm sorry..." She whispered, chest heaving in effort as it tried to ward off the agonizing failure. "I'm so sorry..." Emma whimpered in the dark. Like a thousand needles punctuating her chest with every breath, Emma wanted to stop breathing at that very moment as it was simply too much. The burden was too much.

She wanted to close her eyes right then and there. It was simply too heavy for her to bear. Her breathing was slowly becoming ragged as she struggled to contain the fear and guilt from within. She was so busy drowning in fear that she did not notice someone else was already inside.

"My lady?" Emma sharply turned as she did not notice another maid. Her pale emerald eyes stared at Emma in shock as it was the first time she had saw her in such a way. The guilt was smoldered in an instant as a bile bitterness took its place. Memories of the past came rushing out. "Out." Emma hissed as she soon gathered her composure.

"My lady I-" "Get out. Who gave you permission to enter? Get out now!" Emma said as her voice was growing with ever more intensity. The maid was taken aback as it was the first time Emma had been so cold.

She looked Emma with eyes as if she was looking at a stranger. The maid looked so confused as to Emma's hostile words that she failed to realized her gaze slowly twisting into a murderous glare. "If you don't move from that fucking floor, then I will make sure you never move from it ever again." Emma growled, tapping into what meager reserves of power she had left. Thankfully, it did not come to that.

The maid hurriedly retreated back to the door as she was terrified what might happen to her. "My lady I-" The maid was cut off again as Emma hurriedly slammed the door shut and bolted its lock before she could even respond.

On the other side of the door, streaks of tears finally trickle across her porcelain white skin as Emma slowly sinks down in the floor. The strength that had suddenly aided her was gone just as fast as it first appeared.

Her mouth opened as she tries to let out a cry before suddenly shutting it tight. A single groan is all it would take, a single cry would ruin her. And so, Emma silently endured. Her hands curled into a fist as she tries to hold the cry from within. Emma's eyes felt heavy as it slowly closes to a shut. Darkness enveloped the world once more.