3.5

Jewel kept that terrible dangerous weight of a thought to herself for the rest of the High King’s visit to Kaeketeh.

There were thankfully no more discussions of the awful things. At least none in meetings that Jewel had to attend.

Jaksa had apparently refused to give up a single one of his patients from the Kaeketeh dungeon and the Countess had backed him in this against the High King.

But the thought continued to writhe inside her flame.

She kept it to herself when her family departed from the city and headed back to Rochford.

She kept it quiet for the days in which they marched where her squire and the footmen could hear.

She kept quiet in the nights where they stayed within walls that could have listeners close by.

But finally they were camping in the old way station that had once been a guard tower.

Mother and Father stayed in the actual thick-walled stone room with Gem and Gwenn. The rest took the shelter of their tents, or in Jewel’s case, nothing at all.

She liked to see the stars sometimes and without the worry of her harness or pack being soaked through by rain she did not really mind sleeping in the open.

With her kit safely stowed, it had been her habit on their annual trip to Kaeketeh each debt season to sleep under the open sky here.

But this night after the meal and before settling in for bed, Jewel gently tapped on the door.

Father’s voice was tired, they had been traveling all day.

But he called for her to enter.

His tone and expression softened at the sight of her, and Mother was soon walking up as soon as Jewel finished furling herself up into as compact a tight coil as she could. The Tower was not sized for a Wyrm of her size.

How long would it even be possible to fit all of herself within?

She was growing slower but still she gained in length and girth each year.

Mother spoke first, softly.

Jewel’s sister was sleeping; her other, smaller self was feigning it, but Jewel could still hear even if those eyes were closed.

“Jewel, what brings you to us daughter?”

The question left her addled. How could she even begin to ask?

Begin to even consider what she was considering?

She fidgeted like she hadn't for years.

Foreclaws and the thumb of each wing all tapping and brushing each other down over her collar bone.

Finally, under the tired but concerned stares of her parents Jewel found shame forcing her words where bravery could not.

“F-Father... is the High King... Is He... I m-mean... I-Is his rule J-just?”

A pained wince from Father that Jewel did not want to see.

She turned to her mother and did not see anything reassuring there either.

Mother again spoke first. Father had walked over to sit down at the simple stool the waystation kept.

“That is a very heavy burden to be considering my daughter. How long have you been carrying this question?”

Jewel spoke before she even realized it.

“Since the war.”

That got a deep sigh from Father, before he finally spoke.

“Why dear daughter, why are you asking now? Why didn't you ask us sooner?”

Jewel let her forelegs drop onto her bundled up coils. Clenched her wings despite the tension that wanted to spring them open (which would be to disastrous consequence for the meager room she was in).

“I thought I had found the answer.”

Mother offered a soft and gentle smile.

“Oh that sounds like my clever daughter, what had you concluded?”

Jewel sighed and met her mothers eyes.

“I thought he was.”

The sad smile on Mother’s face was making Jewel’s wyrmfire and Gem’s stomach both feel like they were being smothered in a tightly wrapping sodding cloth.

Mother’s words were soft.

“But you don’t anymore?”

Jewel shook her head.

“I don’t know anymore.”

Father was looking pensive and finally he spoke with a whisper that felt far worse than anger to Jewel just now.

“Tell me dear daughter, what is it that you do know?”

Jewel mustered herself, rallied her thoughts and memory. Taking deep breaths, focusing on her flame.

There were unwanted currents to her wyrm flame that could be stilled and smoothed out.

Made whole with her.

She even cycled some of her flame into and out of Gem to further center herself.

Ease the distraction of the emptiness there.

When at last she felt herself stable again, Jewel began to speak.

“I know that Father is a good lord, he is just in his dealings with our subjects. He is not unfair or demanding to our serfs and he readily opens our family stores with the servile and free residents of our demesne alike when they need it.”

He and Mother laughed softly and smiled to her praise but Jewel continued.

“I Know that Bathory is a wicked fiend of a woman. She looks upon and treats all before her as beasts. Cattle, swine, trained dogs and flocks for her leisure. She’s - She’s been making such terrible things.”

Father tensed at that, but his expression was stiff and there was a sternness there. Mother’s own expression hardened a bit then she turned from Jewel to Father.

“So the rumors are true?”

Father rumbled then shook his head.

“No, the rumors are false, but honestly having seen some of the things for myself? It would have been better if they were true.”

Mother offered a muttered exasperation that honestly sounded like a litany of curses in tone.

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“Forhatan þār-eallan mearc fira bearn beoþ wita beadu or huntiġe“

Jewel had no idea what any of that meant. She almost understood it less for not being slurred through half a bottle of wine.

But Mother offered more coherent words after.

“And what do you know of the High King?”

Jewel mulled on that. What did she actually know?

For a long time she had known less than she did of the Countess Bathory before the war.

“He has earned the trust and respect of my friend Count Thurzó. He rules as the head of all the Realm of Cantor Reborn. He approved a war with the Countess Bathory with what he could see as a just cause.”

Mother frowned as Jewel spoke, Father simply seemed saddened for some reason.

Was Jewel somehow failing in some way?

“I thought that the Countess in her wickedness had lied about his coveting of me. Lied about what he would do to our family.”

That made it even worse, Jewel could smell the pain and sadness clear as daylight in a summer sky.

Perhaps it was that the High King was not in fact just? She hurried to assure them otherwise.

“But then when he saw the things that the Countess had made, He wanted them. He wanted to make more of them! He coveted them! Just like the Countess Said he coveted me.”

Jewel shook her head a bit to try and distract herself from the awful sadness that swept off her parents in a stink.

They were sad, but not surprised.

Jewel was not even sure what that could mean.

Father offered his words, and his voice sounded brittle.

“The cruel and terrible can be truthful, and for all their wickedness a liege can still be a good steward of their lands, subjects and vassals in spite of it.”

Mother frowned at Father over that; Jewel could smell a current of anger there. Hints from discussions Jewel had heard behind closed doors away from the ears of staff or court.

Mother’s mouth was a thin line before she turned back to Jewel and then said with a steel to her voice that was usually softened.

“The very kind and trusted can also be terrible and unjust to their people. It is a rare and precious thing to have all one knows to align simply and say if a lord or lady is Just.”

Father nodded and tried to offer wisdom. His words were in the tone of the wise but as they landed Jewel did not feel the clarity that he had always been able to bring her.

“The Countess named you her heir, she betrothed you to her son. For all her terrible cruelty and monstrous acts. She has given you and our family everything. Protected us and you.”

Jewel did not want to be hearing this. She wanted her parents to give her answers, to bring things into the simple clarity that they always could.

“She is our Liege and she serves us well as her vassals. You must understand this, Jewel. Because though he is all sweet words now, the High King would have claimed you without her intervention. Word was plain among the Gryphon riders of such when you first hatched.”

But here? Where was the clarity? Where was the world Jewel had known?

Mother’s voice was soft, gentle, tender. Trying to tell Jewel something soothing in tone.

Like when she explained how it was fine for the wheat to be cut so that they could make their bread.

“The Countess can do well by us and be just to our family while being a horrible fiend of a woman. The high king or your friend Thurzo can be sweet words now and just five years prior wanted to chain you like a beast and set you on every war and battle they could like a dog in hunts.”

Jewel could not listen anymore, she was saying something, she was apologizing.

She was carefully opening the fragile little door and stumbling as carefully and gently as she possibly could out of that far too confined room.

Jewel had held in all of this weight till now, waited for the perfect and safe time to unburden herself and for her parents to make everything right in the world again.

But...

Their words had not made it better.

The world was even more muddled and confusing then it had been before.

And Jewel could not feel anything but distress as she finally finished extracting herself from the room, saying things she didn't even know what.

Fleeing like a craven coward from her own parents.

From their words.

From her own thoughts.

From the rising bawling cries of her smaller self who was left trapped in the room with them while she fled her parents and all the awful words they had buried her in.

Jewel caught sight of Smithson and briefly considered fleeing from him too.

But he was her trusted Squire, not old and wise like her parents, not supposed to know better then her.

But he would listen and speak with her anyway.

Smithson was her squire and trusted friend.

Finally Jewel found her voice uttering words that she could recall.

Brittle, wet with tears and worry.

“S-smithson, Squire, w-with me.”

He was already rushing to follow her into the chill dark of the late autumn weather.

“Of course, Lady Jewel.”

Jewel walked at a pace slow enough for him to keep up. But it took a long time into the dark before she found the words to even begin.

“C-could we talk a while Smithson?”

He was patient with her though, simply rubbing her foremost shoulder.

“Whatever you need.”

Jewel could only choke on a laugh at the offer.

If only he could give it.