11.1
Jewel’s tears could not contain themselves to only one pair of eyes. But her larger self had to persevere and not let the anguish overwhelm both of her hearts.
She focused on speaking with her master of Kitchens with her larger self. He was after all finally speaking to her more than the bare minimum to do his duties.
“It’s not that I dislike any of the other meals Dariusz. Honestly with how Gem’s poor stomach handles grains they are much welcomed. But truly you don’t find that the cooks in Kaeketeh keep a bit over-indulgent in the spices?”
She was already having to leave Valasect again, even if there were good signs she could return later. But parting with her friends felt all the more final and forever. Gripping her chest with a terror of loneliness unending. A fleeting thought that somehow this would be the only time she would ever see any of them again.
Dariusz’ voice had for all of Gem’s life never relaxed entirely into a casual tone.
But finally after years of dutifulness she had found something that made the cook forget his station.
“They’re Spices my lady! Unless you're a pauper the point of spices in a feast is to use them! Viznove is the largest county in the Ridgetail mountains! And the second richest! Your feasts are meant to stand ringing in memory and lingering on the tongue for a lifetime!”
Jewel had to listen to and banter lightly with her Master of Kitchens while also struggling through the wails that wanted to break through her smaller throat into an ear piercing scream.
And it was so simple minded and meaningless!
‘Gem’ and the villagers had only known each other for a few seasons but returning to Valasect and all of her friends after their time apart had welled up in her so strongly she could not even put it into words.
The feelings were so intense her larger self needed to brush away tears of her own as they marched towards Rochford proper. Which made bantering with Dariusz even more difficult.
“Of course Kitchen Master, but surely a pie is supposed to have something in it other than cinnamon and pepper! I’ve seen and smelled people who bit into those before. Not one of them could I say actually enjoyed the experience.”
She didn't even know all of their names and yet the reunion and chance to ‘speak’ to the Valasect children was something she had not even realized she missed. They had new signs for her to learn since last they gestured and Jewel delighted in learning them. Some differences had also deepened between ‘field sign’ and ‘forest sign’.
“The staff of your vassals spread word in the servant passages and kitchens. Every one of them thought you were intentionally insulting them with your feast. Another wondered if the real reason the countess had perished was an elaborate suicide because the coffers of Kaeketeh had gone dry!”
Jewel strained to hold her poise and serenity. Mother had taught her that hearing the common word was often far more valuable than most nobles appreciated. The court was but half of the craft of Intrigue. But she sometimes wished that at least one commoner that she convinced to speak freely with her had less upsetting things to say.
“I see, thank you Dariusz... But again surely it would be best if the dishes of a meal were palatable enough that half the guests were not pretending to eat it? Isn't there some balance there?”
Her Kitchenmaster quieted from that, and the distraction she had been using to try and shield both her hearts from the splitting pain of their departure was lost to Jewel.
The almost tearing feeling of losing (even if she was absolutely not) her friends.
Jewel turned her focus inward to the joys this last season had brought.
Field sign was the closest to traditional Gryphon flight cant. Wide open armed motions from the shoulder and elbow, less with the wrist and hardly anything in the fingers.
Forest signs though were much more localized. The motions were smoother, there were more uses of signs that only took a single hand to make. Wrists and hand shape was making more precise details.
The children in Valasect used both interchangeably and could follow it, but field handers tended to use forest signs a bit clumsily and widely.
Forest handers were harder to follow across wide open spaces.
In the fields they sometimes joked how the forest hands were ‘mumblers’.
In the forest the field hands were said to be far too ‘loud’.
Jewel loved learning all of it, and with all the practice she could feel her movements in her wrists, shoulders and elbows get all the more sure. The more she ran, climbed, tumbled and fell the easier her legs, hips and tail worked together as one.
It had been a wonderful three seasons.
From Spring Seeding through to midway in the Hungry Summer.
But now she had to go again!
Kaeketeh was awful, her larger self was overwhelmed with work and trials. Her smaller self was bored and had no one to talk to but Cibor, Jelan and Smithson! And only smithson was interested in learning how to use the modified Flight Cant Jewel used with the children of Valasect!
The Kitchen children all kept cooking meals or playing among themselves in the keep courtyard.
Words were so hard when spoken and it was not fair that she had to use them!
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If she prepared herself for them beforehand Jewel could just about manage shaping Gem’s lips and tongue with the correct timing for a few words. But the burden of habit was painfully slow to break. Especially when she still spoke like normal every day!
The methods that Bethica had shown her how to use were as impossible for Jewel’s larger jaws, tongue and throat as her more comfortable form of speech was for the smaller set.
The tears continued to flow down Gem’s cheeks but she otherwise did not cry out.
Smithson spoke softly as he gently touched Gem on the shoulder, voice only raised loud enough to be heard by their caravan.
“Well I have to say I prefer pies you can actually eat and swallow. The amount of pepper and cinnamon in the ones at your wedding practically choked me with the burn of them!”
Her larger self nodded at Smithson, the sting of the tears in her eyes blinked away. The subtle pull of wyrm flame flicking them from her cheeks before they showed overmuch. It was more than her smaller self could manage.
Mention of the wedding brought even more memories of the looming isolation of the city.
The time in the wedding had been frightening, if not for Smithson she would have probably never even left her chambers. It made going back to that city even now infuriate her heart til it thundered in her tiny chest.
“Exactly Smithson, what even is the point of food no one will eat?”
She knew this was important! Both of Jewel’s selves had to go to Kaeketeh. Her smaller self could only maintain her wyrmflame for a few days at best without contact with her larger self.
To go without it was unthinkable!
But her heart was too full with grief at leaving her friends again to care!
Too full of fear of the wide cold city full of strangers.
She might be away for another winter. Possibly longer if their time in the capital dragged. That did not feel too terribly long when she thought of it with her larger self. But the time gaped before her smaller self’s mind like a terrifying set of jaws opening to devour her.
Would any of her friends even remember her after that long?!
Jewel huffed a bit in her larger throat. Annoyed with herself, she knew they would remember her. They were her friends and it was not like ‘Gem’ was forgettable. But the fear gripped her anyway.
Eryka broke into the silence with a lilting sharpness of amusement.
“Husband, dear I’ve heard you rage on these very same points before when you cooked with your mother for a noble guest at her inn. What is the harm in easing back from such noble foolery?”
Her kitchen master's cheeks reddened, shame faced at his wife’s chiding.
Smithson rubbed her smaller shoulder gently in her place propped up in the saddle ahead of him. Soothing Gem’s trembling but silent tears without pulling attention to it. She was going to hug him when-
Oh, nevermind she was already twisting around in the saddle despite his protests and squeezing her face into him, gripping at his sides with her short arms.
Jewel's larger self for her part was quiet, seeing the head of her staff and preparer of her meals muster himself.
It all helped some, but now the tears were welling up from the shame of it. Less for her larger self, but still there. She needed to work her flame to keep her eyes seemingly dry. There was an appearance to be upheld.
“Your common born Smithson, though a Knight in all but land you might be. But you were not raised a noble. They are weaned from their mother’s milk on spices. They expect it, they want the indulgence in the flavors, they want to be drowning the rest of us in it. A way to prove themselves our betters!”
Jewel turned to look down at the hateful tone.
She remembered the way the Countess had twisted Saffron into something horrible.
How she then had used it for years, forced Jewel to eat it with every feast.
Dariusz was shaking a bit, and his face was twisting with the shock of what he just said. But she could not see anything wrong.
Even her common staff were admirably strong.
“Dariusz, Master of my kitchens, I am the Countess of Viznove and the law of the land. My vassals have sworn to me honorably. It is my word that says what food is befitting my table and not theirs.”
Jewel knew she could be stronger than this. She remembered it, she was able to feel it right this moment. But at the same time she simply could not hold it all in. The best Jewel could manage was to avoid wailing.
She was going to miss her friends so terribly.
It had surprised her how much she had yearned for everything there was in Valasect.
How gentle and simple it all was compared to Kaeketeh.
Her larger self found more words and the way it pulled at her fire helped some.
“They have sneered down on Rochford. Looked down on my family and lands for being provincial.”
At least she would soon be able to stay with her family in Rochford again.
Jewel’s sister was starting to speak properly!
“They have taken our care for our subjects and lands as weakness, as being simple and uncivil.”
The thought of her sister who was simultaneously her junior and in some strange ways her twin or even elder in age finally calmed the tears. For most of the long seasons she had not gotten the chance to see Gwenn again!
Heart finally turned from the pain of goodbyes Jewel could smile again. Both sets of lips curving upward. The fire in her chests flaring with the thought of her family.
She turned back around in the saddle and wiped some snot from her delicate snout on her arm.
“But I think it is time that every lord of Viznove is reminded what it means to be a noble.”
Her family would not be joining her in the journey to Kaeketeh.
They had the rites of the summer harvest they needed to attend to.
But Jewel needed to be in the city to prepare her own festivities, and the event that would soon host all of her vassals, Father included.
Her smaller self firmed up a bit with her posture on the saddle.
‘Gem’ was sure footed enough that she could dance a carolla this year.
Jewel was intending to have a dance in her own summer’s end festival.
And after that?
They needed to make their way north and west to a skyway through the sheer cliffs.
And from that out and beyond the Ridgetail mountains.
She needed to be brave for that.
“They can suffer to have their food be palatable to a commoner’s tongue.”