All I wanted to do was retreat to the safety of the farmhouse, bury myself under the covers, and forget this night ever happened. I was even willing to face Caleb’s smug 'told you so' attitude if it meant escaping this horrid place. Caleb had been right. I no longer fit into my own world. It was a humbling moment, one I wished I had skipped and just stayed at home.
The gap between my prepubescent memories and the reality of what my world is now was staggering. My absence seemed to have aged me beyond my years, leaving me feeling like a relic in this sea of my peers.
My heart raced, my breaths coming in short, shallow gasps as my body trembled against the harsh flashes of strobe lights. The dim, dank atmosphere of the nightclub only added to my confusion, and the smell of sweat from unwashed teens, mixed with booze, and weed was overwhelming my senses.
I found myself completely robbed of the gradual transition from youth to adolescence and the culture shock was completely overwhelming. And to make matters worse, I was utterly clueless about how I was going to navigate through it all. It would be easier to stand up to one of the monsters back in Ella than it would be to stand up to one my friends here in my world.
I had no idea how to blend and make small talk— I had nothing in common with any of these young adults. They were worried about parties and who was dating whom and the worst thing they had to grapple with was which college to apply to and how could they cheat on the SATs. I on the other hand had spent the last 6 years scrapping out an existence as a farmer and dress maker in an alternate reality that was stuck somewhere between the 14th and 15th century of my world.
With so many secrets I had to hide, not only did I feel awkward that I had no real teen aged stories to share, I couldn’t even begin to make any up with all the earth shattering stimuli going on around me.
But I only had myself to blame. What did I expect when Dana demanded she was taking me out on the town for my Eighteenth birthday? A movie followed by a quiet dinner as we caught up on old times, maybe if we were sixty.
Dana had spent her entire life in this small farming town, which had only two convenience stores, one pizza place, one coffee shop and one mom and pop diner that catered to the entire town for breakfast, lunch and dinner. It had a small grocery market filled mostly with produce and farm fresh slaughter meats provided by the local farmers. But of course their was the tractor and feed store the size of super Walmart just at the edge of town that was the prize jewel of the sleepy little town. With so little to do other than drink in the woods and dreaming of running away to a big city, of course Dana was looking to go out and party.
So here I was in an overcrowded nightclub, where it seemed the entirety of the town’s 16-21 crowd gather every other Friday night, under the influence of illicit substances to dry hump and find their next hook up of the week. It almost felt as if I had stumbled on to the set of a soft porn film, with everyone grinding in an undulating wave of promiscuity.
I longed for the purity of my stolen youth, for those days when life was simpler and we remained blissfully oblivious to the complexities of adulthood. Sex was great and all but it was the furthest thing from my mind right now. And I was stranger amongst them but that didn’t stop their greedy little fingers from reaching out and touching me as we passed by.
Feeling like an outsider in my own skin, I couldn’t help but wonder if I would ever be able to bridge the gap between my past and this present. Maybe I could fake it till I make it, or at least give it a good try. Because I was terrified. I could at least be grateful that Dana, hadn’t noticed I was losing my shit. So maybe I could keep it together long enough to satisfy her and in a little while I would tell her I was sick and she would take me home.
We danced, or rather she dance around me as I stood there like and idiot trying to figure out the moves. The music was so loud my eardrums ached. And the colorful flashing lights had my head doing pounding to the beats. And even though all of these things were not new to me, the abrasiveness of them after such a long absence was like torture, a relentless enemy that I couldn’t escape. And I’m sure the consumption of the half bottle of whiskey we drank before entering the club didn’t help the upheaval in my stomach.
The faces of those around me, once familiar childhood friends, now appeared grotesque and demonic, their features contorted into nightmarish masks. Right now I’d take staring down a pack of starving wolves in Ella over this sardine-packed nightclub of sex-driven adolescents. I think I’d fare better with the carnivores.
As I frantically looked around the packed club, every exit was blocked by a sea of bodies, leaving me with no clear escape route. It was at that moment that I truly appreciated Caleb’s exceptional abilities to adapt. When he used to visit me in our youth, we would only venture into the woods, as I was too afraid to introduce him to my human friends or bring him to my house to meet my mother. When we arrived in my world he assimilated flawlessly after just a few days of watching TV and doing a few Internet searches.
Although he still complained about all the processed food and the smell of industry, and bitched endlessly about the lack of space to breathe even on my family farm where it was just me and him most days, he never once had a panic attack or freaked out like I was right now. For a boy who had never ridden in a car, pedaled a bicycle, or looked to the skies and saw an airplane in real life, you would have thought he was just an average kid working on becoming an adult like the rest of us.
Dana would be upset if she knew I wanted to leave. But I also couldn’t stay on the dance floor any longer, especially since she abandoned me to be with a group of friends who seemed to be way more fun than I was.
I managed to reach the pleather sofa, enduring a series of unwelcome ass slaps along the way. A guy with dark red hair and a face full of freckles took advantage of the fact that I got bumped by a small group of girls who were dancing, and I fell into him. Boldly, he groped my breast as I accidentally became entangled with him and his dance partner.
It was clear that they assumed I welcomed the opportunity to be sandwiched between them, and for a moment, I was trapped while both of them explored my body, holding me between them. Instead of causing a scene, I forced a smile, and I wriggled free from their grasp, disappointing them both from the look on their faces, the girl holding on to my hand longer and trying to tug me back into her embrace. I tugged my hand free and smiled awkwardly at her before turning on my heels, I scurried the remaining few feet and plopped down on the sofa, relieved that they hadn’t tried to follow me thinking I had chosen us a spot to play in the dark.
This couldn’t possibly be normal teenage behavior, I hadn’t been gone that long, had I?
As I settled in and tried to blend with the darkness of the room, I was sober within my thoughts. Looking around the club, I couldn’t help but feel a pang of sadness as I realized that I couldn’t recall any significant personal moments shared with any of the kids I grew up with. It was disheartening to realize that those connections had lost their meaning to me now.
But there was one person who still held a familiar place in my heart - Dana. However, I sensed she might be disappointment in me. Similar to my friendship with Caleb, I couldn’t fathom a life without her. Even as the memories of the others had faded while I was away, Dana remained a constant presence in my thoughts. She was that friend who, no matter how much time had passed, would always hold the title of sister in my heart. She had been a staple in my small family household since preschool. Without her, I don’t know how I would have survived my father’s death.
There have been many instances where I wanted to tell Dana about Caleb over the years. However, Caleb, being cautious, had advised me against it. He believed that even the closest of friends could potentially cause harm, even in the most favorable situations. He was probably right then too. Dana would have thought me insane and likely had me committed. There were still times that I questioned my own sanity and wondered if I wasn't already locked up and just living out some psychotic delusion in a padded room somewhere.
My head stopped throbbing and I had finally squashed the anxiety that was fueling my panic attack as I sat alone in the dark corner of the night club. Eventually, Dana noticed my absence on the dance floor and began searching through the crowd, desperately trying to locate me. I took two beats thinking I’d be happy to stay here in the dark for the night, even on this gross-ass couch that was probably still stained from last Friday's under-21 dance party.
But sensing Dana's growing concern even at this distance, I decided to put an end to my sulking and rose from my seat. As I maneuvered through the throng of former classmates, I was relieved that they didn’t attempt to pull me into their shenanigans, allowing me to pass without any interference this time.
Finally reaching Dana, she looked relieved and eagerly reached out and grabbed hold of me, and twirled me around, her face beaming with a radiant smile that must have cost at least five grand to fix. It had been money well spent by her parents their daughter had grown up to be simply gorgeous.
“I believe we’ve seen everyone we needed to see,” she declared loudly into my ear, the lingering scent of alcohol still evident on her breath. With a firm grip, she led me back to the center of the dance floor, just as the DJ unleashed another monotonous, pounding track that reverberated through my skull.
Fantastic.
Dana pulled me towards her, desperate for me to join in the fun. I looked around at the grinding bodies, all lost in a sea of lust. I couldn’t imagine myself joining in without looking ridiculous. I felt like a prude old lady as my face flushed hot with embarrassment, it didn’t seem to matter who was touching who, boy-girl, girl-girl, boy-boy, it was all the same to them. While I supported sexual freedom, I couldn’t help but question the safety of it all. Where were the responsible adults to ensure no one got hurt? With a little more darkness and illegal booze, this could easily turn south for many tonight.
I attempted to move to the beat without touching anyone releasing Dana’s hands and taking a step back into my own personal bubble. But my awkward movements on my own made me feel like a malfunctioning robot. Eventually, I gave up and stood still while Dana danced around me again.
A tall dark-haired boy slithered up behind Dana, pressing his body against hers. She didn’t object and instead responded by turning around to kiss him allowing his hands to grab her bottom and squeeze tightly as he lifted her to him. I stood there, feeling incredibly awkward and contemplating whether I should find my way back to the privacy of my dark corner of the club. It felt as if I were a peeping tom, just standing there, observing a box office love affair.
Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.
My anxiety returned, and I gulped down a couple of breaths in the hopes of keeping it under control this time. My sudden lack of hydration made me feel lightheaded and unsteady on my feet. As I took a step towards Dana to signal that I was going to get some water I stumbled slightly. She caught me despite appearing annoyed with me, she mustered a smile and took my hand, forcefully pushing the boy away from her with a resounding “Fuck off” that echoed above the pulsating music. I guess she didn’t like him after all.
Dana guided me into the adjacent room, skillfully maneuvering us through the bustling crowd her, frustration was evident as she unleashed a torrent of profanities at those who failed to move fast enough for her, and sternly warned off anyone who tried to touch us. And I was in no mood to have to slap any more people away so it worked out for the both of us.
As we entered the new space, the atmosphere shifted. The brightness of the bar area illuminated the room, casting a warm glow that contrasted with the dimness of the dance floor. The cacophony of voices and music could still be heard but at a more manageable level, allowing me to take a moment to inhale deeply and rid my senses of the lingering stench of perspiration and auditory assault. I doubted my clothes would ever fully recover from the pungent odors unless I were to wash them with copious amounts of detergent several dozen times.
The bar itself looked nothing like a regular bar. The shelves that should displayed an array of alcohol bottles now showcased an assortment of sodas, water, and flavored coffees, all elegantly packaged in hip trendy bottles. The absence of chairs around the high-top tables indicated a deliberate effort to discourage large groups of teenagers from congregating and overwhelming the bartenders. A single glance at the weary expressions worn by the staff revealed just how much they despised these teen nights at the club. And probably would be the reason why most of them would eventually quit.
Dana, cutting the line and demanding immediate service left me dumbfounded. It was as if she believed she was entitled to do whatever she pleased, whenever she pleased to whom ever she please. Feeling a sense of responsibility, I turned to the group of kids who were now standing behind us, their expressions a mix of anger and fear. I offered them a sincere apology for Dana’s rudeness, hoping to alleviate the tension that hung in the air. However, their response was not one of reassurance but rather a silent nod, as if they were too intimidated to even accept.
Finally, we received our order, and Dana carelessly dropped the two bottles of water and cheese fries onto an empty table. Eager to indulge in the guilty pleasure of the chicken wings she held in her other hand. I opened the bag of chips I had purchased thinking the fries would be too much on my soured stomach with all that bacon.
The familiar crunch of potato chips brought back a flood of happy childhood memories, and I relished in the savory delight of fried potato brushed with ranch powered flavoring, hoping that the starch would calm my unsettled stomach.
Gradually, I began to feel better and ate two of the wings we had planned to share, and with the added protein my dizziness subsided. I washed it all down with half of my water bottle and felt I might make it through the night and only slightly hungover come morning, it was good my whiskey buzz was wearing off.
Dana seemed to revel in the chaos of the club night life, occasionally breaking into song as she greedily devoured the cheesy, bacon-filled fried potatoes after the wings were gone. She consumed them with the carefree abandonment of someone who had indulged in one too many drinks, completely oblivious to the prying eyes around her. With each bite, she shamelessly licked and sucked the dripping cheese from her fingers, a sight that both fascinated and repulsed me. There was this strange sexual charge coming off of her that my empathy kept locking onto and with my own intoxication it made me feel weirdly attracted to her.
“You know,” Dana began, her voice laced with a mischievous tone, “right now you could have any guy in this place. Look how they are all eye fucking you, practically undressing you with their beady little eyes. Any guy in here would be willing to abandon the girl they came here with just to have the first shot at you. You lucky little bitch.” Dana said, with a playful wink and a wide smile, she unscrewed the cap from her own purchased water bottle and took a sip, washing down the vulgarity of her words along with the cheesy mess she licked from the corner of her rose red lips.
I attempted to muster a smile in response, but I felt it fall flat, I wasn’t sure Dana noticed, she didn’t let on that it had. The truth was, I had no desire to engage in any romantic antics with any of the boys in here tonight, or any time in the foreseeable future for that matter. Getting laid simply was not high on my to-do list right now. I was trying to figure out how to open an inter-dimensional portal and get my friend back home without getting stuck on the other side again. Boy’s and sex could wait.
“You’re different,” Dana remarked, her voice tinged with a hint of sadness. She hastily shoved the last few fries into her mouth, her fingers glistening with remnants of nacho cheese, which she promptly licked off to prevent any stains on her blouse. Avoiding direct eye contact with me, she scanned the room as if searching for a distraction. What could I possibly say in response? The truth was undeniable. She was right, I was not the same Elizabeth she knew since preschool.
I twisted off the cap of my water bottle and gulped down the other half of it in two large swallows. I didn’t want to be different, I longed to be the same person I was before I was taken away, but how could I be, knowing what I know? How do I return to my childhood when most of it had already passed me by?
The air got heavy with silence between us and I bent down to tie my shoelaces for my own distraction, I lost my balance and nearly fell over again. Dana caught me before I face-planted and embarrassed myself further, she smiled at me before we both laughed as she helped me stand up.
“Here,” she said, with a mischievous smile, her hand disappearing into the depths of her cleavage. After a brief moment of fiddling, she triumphantly revealed two petite pink bottles. I accepted one of her gifts, silently praying that the strawberry vodka nip wouldn’t wreak further damage on my stomach. The last thing I wanted was to add vomit to that adorable bartender’s miserable night when he was already facing a disastrous mess after we all went home later tonight.
“Quick, let’s do this before anyone sees. But don’t tell those other bitches. I only brought enough for the two of us.” With a gleeful squeal, she clinked her plastic shot with mine and flashed me a mischievous smile. We swiftly emptied the contents of the bottles into our mouths, swallowing it down in one gulp.
It was astonishing how quickly her mood shifted from sadness to pure delight at the drop of a hat. “I’ve got more hidden away,” she exclaimed, playfully bouncing her ample bosom in my face.
Dana had blossomed into a stunning young woman, blessed with a generous bust and captivating curves. It was no surprise that she could easily stash an entire mini bar within the confines of her cleavage. Her wavy strawberry blond locks cascaded down over her shoulders, perfectly complementing her sun-kissed golden complexion. Dressed in a midriff-baring lacy long-sleeve top and tight ripped jeans, she dripped with sex. And at just 5 months shy of being 19 years old I was sure the women in town looked at her as a threat to all their relationships with their husbands and boyfriends. To complete her look of good girl, gone bad, she wore shiny black pants and red spiked heels that added some height to her small stature making her appear taller than her 5’ 2 frame making her appear taller than me tonight.
In stark contrast, I appeared as a frumpy mess amidst a sea of stunningly dressed girls, each striving to exude an air of maturity beyond their years. My attire consisted of my mother’s outdated high-waisted jeans, paired with a navy blue button-up top boasting a three-quarter sleeves. To complete my ensemble, I slipped into a pair of well-worn black sneakers, a recent thrift store find, and my mother's diamond studded earrings. And adding to my failed attempt to look sexy, I had left the top two buttons undone, believing it to be a seductive touch.
However, as I surveyed the nightclub and observed the scantily clad girls surrounding me, it became painfully clear just how out of place I truly was. They were dressed like runway models fresh off the catwalks of Paris and I looked like someone who had just emerged from a grueling night’s work at the local Burger Hut.
“Most of these losers have taken Molly. And no doubt Kate and Amber have also partaken – so that’ll be an interesting ride home with those two fools. I’m not a fan of it. However, I do appreciate how it brings out a sense of willingness to explore in everyone. I don’t require any enhancement myself of course, as I’m usually open to trying just about anything.” Dana declared, letting out a boisterous laugh and running her hands up and down her body in a grandiose manner.
“But if you think it might help you relax a little and have a good time, I wouldn’t mind dropping a cap,” Dana added, taking a sip of water to wash down her vodka. She raised an eyebrow at me, silently questioning my thoughts.
I shook my empty bottle wishing I had bought two as I still felt slightly dehydrated, “Nah, I’m good with this,” I said, trying to ignore the burning sensation in my throat as I shook the empty little bottle at her, even flavored vodka was like drinking rubbing alcohol and I silently apologized to my esophagus for the assault.
Dana grinned at me mischievously, already reaching into her shirt for another round. “Well someone gotta keep this club alive and line Gill’s pockets with teen gold. Guess, she’ll have to pedal her shit elsewhere tonight.” Dana laughed out loud as she handed me another nip. I must have appeared visibly confused because she rolled her eyes at me and shook her head in frustration.
“You know cause you don’t want to buy any of her Molly tonight…” Dana said, with a hint of “I shouldn’t have to explain this too you” tone.
“Wait a minute,” I interrupted, struggling to process what she had just revealed as the second vodka wave coursed through my veins. “So, the club owners are dealers?”
“Duh,” Dana rolled her eyes again. “Larry, the loser at the door, is the middleman, babe. Slip him an extra $20 dollar bill and he’ll give you a yellow smiley face stamp instead of the black one. Then, you head upstairs to the VIP room, which is really just another filthy plastic couch outside the men’s restroom with a rope around it, you know for easy flushing if their is a raid, ” Dana chuckled at her own story. “Gill and Stan are the big players in the town. They don’t make much money with this crappy ass small-town club, but they more than makeup for the lack of sales from the adults, with their biweekly profits from the teen nights. It’s a goddamn goldmine,” she added. “
We helped pay for their fricken mini mansion that they built out on the old Read’s farm. Hard work and perseverance was what they said durning their housewarming party. Sure that, and the million dollars in Weed, Lucy, and Molly sales they produce in the basement of this shit hole. They dabbled in Crank for a year but it was fucking everyone up and a couple of kids died and that ended that endeavor and they got back to the nonkilling kind of drug trade.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Gill and Stan, the couple who used to bring homemade treats to my father’s church every Sunday, were drug dealers? My mind was spinning as Dana slipped another shot into my hand, tilting my chin up to close my mouth as I tried to erase the disturbing image from my mind. “So much has changed since you left me,” Dana remarked, clinking her small vial against mine again before we downed the shots simultaneously. “No kidding,” I coughed, feeling the liquid burn its way down my throat once more.
The second shot worked its magic, and I felt all the stress and anxiety melt away. Laughter erupted from both of us as we playfully tossed our empty bottles toward the trash can, only to miss our mark entirely. I hurried to retrieve them, so we wouldn’t get caught, but I was feeling so mellow now, that I didn’t really care if we did, it would be another adventure.
Over the next hour, it felt as though we were transported back in time as we reminisced, and after a while, it felt like we had somehow found the sweet place in our friendship where we had left off before I was taken away.
“God, I’ve missed you so much,” Dana confessed, her body leaning onto the table for support. The two consecutive shots had undoubtedly taken their toll on her as well.
“You have no idea how much I’ve missed you,” I replied, a genuine smile gracing my lips as I gazed at her. Suddenly, Dana stood straight up, her hands reaching out to grab me, pulling me into a tight embrace. I reciprocated the sentiment, holding her just as tightly. It felt good to have her back in my life. Things were finally looking up and I felt like I could perhaps get back to normalcy in my life despite Caleb’s voice of caution playing on a loop in my head.
As she released me, I took a step back, intending to express my hopes of starting anew, but before I could utter a word, she swiftly stepped into my personal space again, slipped her hand around my neck pulling me to her, and kissed me.
It wasn’t just a friendly peck on the lips, but a fully impassioned lip lock that stole my breath away.