Dana, in her sober state, had grown to be bossy and abrasive. It had only taken her cornering me at the supermarket for a 10-minute conversation before she was able to compel me to accompany her out tonight, despite knowing the decision would inevitably lead to yet another heated argument between Caleb and me.
Dana indulged in way too much alcohol, took her pushiness to a whole new level and her morality flew right out the window. Maybe it was just me and the way I have been raised since my time on the other side of the divide, where women rarely had power beyond their duties of a wife and childrearing. I was lucky despite being an unchained prisoner of The Barrio Wall, the Ella people were kind and less restrictive with their women. Everyone had to work together in order to survive. So Dana’s strong assertive nature was overwhelming, to say the least. And that was saying something since my friends in Ella always thought the same about me.
After consuming the last of her nips, she kissed me again. This time I wasn’t nearly as shocked by the advances though her tongue caressing mine this time around made me suck in a noisy breath that she mistook for perhaps a moan of pleasure because she pulled me closer deepening our kiss, her soft, experienced tongue dancing with mine. I managed to ease out of her embrace and tried my best not to alert her that I was feeling uncomfortable with so much public displays of affection. I gave her a toothy grin as I tried to think of something to distract before she tried to kiss me again.
She giggled as she held me at arm’s length and exclaimed, “God damn girl, I fucking missed you!” She kissed my lips this time with a quick and loud, ‘mwah’ for effect and then finally let me go and twirled around the room, waving at the boys who had gathered near the bar-room door to watch the show we were apparently, putting on for everyone in the room. I recognized them from the dance floor, one of them was the boy Dana had been kissing earlier that evening, I guess she did know him after all. When table emptied they congregated around the high-top table directly across from us on the other side of the room.
They seemed to be thoroughly enjoying the spectacle Dana was putting on for them. And I got the feeling that this was not Dana’s first girl on girl rodeo. The boys chatted back and forth amongst themselves, but never took their eyes off of either of us. When Dana noticed them gawking, she stopped dancing, came back to the table, and slapped me on my bottom. I was mortified and was trying to blend into the background scurrying around the small table top to put myself on the other side of her hoping that she might get the hint without getting mad. Dana, in an attempt to showcase me to the boys, took my hand and made me step out to her side again and she spun me around, causing me to blush when I stumbled a little.
I wanted to die, but to make matters worse, one of the boys shouted, “I’d love to be the meat between that sandwich!” Dana responded by licking her lips seductively at the boy, placing her hand on my left breast, giving it a squeeze stating, “We would break you, little boy.” Using her other hand, she put her pointer finger and thumb together and pretended to look for something small-then burst into laughter at her mockery of boy’s genitals.
Shocked, but not wanting to embarrass my friend by pulling away I playfully placed my hand over hers and laughed half-heartedly, trying to fit in as I slid her hand off of my breast and entwined my fingers around hers to hold it instead. What the hell was she doing? Was she like this with all her friends?
Suddenly, Dana gripped my hand tightly and pulled me close so she could whisper in my ear, “Chris wants you, mmm- and he’s so tasty.” I turned my eyes back to them involuntarily, and they were whispering back and forth in a frenzy, had I missed something? I couldn’t help but wonder what gross things they were saying about us. I wasn’t a prude but I also was not as free loving and self serving as Dana was either.
I don’t know if it was because I was holding Dana’s hand and she was so drunk herself that it was now amplifying my own intoxication through our touch or if my own multiple shots of Vodka had just caught up to the whiskey but I could feel my inhibitions slowly slipping away. The alcohol was saturating my bloodstream, making the world seem far less daunting than it had only moments ago. And it was perhaps making Chris more appealing as Dana talked about his to-die-for ass in my ear.
Christian O'Reilly's eyes were fixed on me, his body casually leaning against the wall, unaffected by the juvenile behavior of the other boys in his pack of testosterone-driven friends vying for our attention. His arms were confidently crossed over his chest, clearly displaying his dedication to his physique. I couldn’t help but speculate that he must have been the star football player at our high school, or perhaps he still excelled in baseball if my memory serves me correctly. Regardless, he exuded the unmistakable aura of hot-high school jock. And I must admit, he was looking rather tasty as Dana had put it.
A mischievous smile danced upon his lips when he caught me staring back at him and he sent me a playful wink that made the heat rush to my cheeks, but this time, I felt a surge of boldness and refused to avert my eyes. Instead, I took a few moments to thoroughly observe him, just as he was doing me. He liked the way my eyes dropped to skim his body and then back up to his lovely sultry gaze.
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Without a doubt, he had grown into a striking young man. His dark blond hair remained unchanged, maybe just a bit longer than I had remembered, falling just over his ears in an unruly kept manner. His vibrant blue eyes still held a sense of wonderment with a juxtaposition while still alluding, to a smoldering sexual seduction from across the room. Gone was the scrawny, lanky boy he once was. Christian had grown into his body, filling in everything that seemed missed proportioned when we were little. And much like Dana, he knew he looked good.
“Wanna go talk to him?” Dana’s question caught me off guard, abruptly pulling me out of my past.
I hadn’t even realized that I had been fixated on him this entire time. When I focused again on him his smile had transformed into genuine amusement. It seemed that he had mistaken my long gaze as a sign of interest. And he looked as though he was ready to come to our table and I adverted my eyes and turned my back to him.
Oh God.
Feeling embarrassed, I stumbled over my words in response, “Uh, yeah, that’s a no.” I focused my attention on the table top as I began gathering our trash to dispose of it so I could get the hell out of the room. I’d take the stank darkness and the face the battle of wandering hand of the other room than to have to have a conversation with Christian O’Reilly right now.
I awkwardly waved my hand, attempting to alleviate the numbness in my fingers when there were no more items to focus on to throw in the trap. I must have appeared quite foolish because Dana rolled her eyes at me in amusement and grabbed both of my hands. She chuckled at my embarrassment and shook her head as if resigning herself to the fact that she just couldn’t quite figure out this new version of me.
I attempted to conceal my rejection to Dana by deflecting with a question about his past behavior. It was probably not very nice of me to use something that happened so long ago as an excuse but it was all I could arm myself with it Dana tried again to get me and him a hook up.
“Didn’t Chris used to pick his nose and eat it in Mrs. Kettleman’s class?” I blurted out, hoping to un-shine my new awkwardness. Dana’s eyes widened, paused for a moment, her mind seemingly transported back in time, considering my comment as she tilted her head. Her gaze abruptly shifted towards Christian, as if she found that dusty box in her own memories, her eyes narrowing briefly in contemplation.
After a few ticks of the clock, a look of disgust twisted Dana’s features, contorting her face into a grimace as she turned back to face me. She instinctively pulled me closer, ensuring that her words remained between us. With a mixture of horror and amusement, she let out her stifled breath and spoke, her voice laced with regret. “Oh my God, yuck. Yes! I completely forgot about that,” Dana exclaimed, her voice filled with a mixture of shock and revulsion.
The realization hit Dana like a ton of bricks, and she couldn’t help but express her disgust. “Shit, and he was the first guy I ever slept with too- oh God, I feel like I need to brush my teeth with bleach or throw up, or something, ugh!” she added, pretending to gag for dramatic effect. In a grand gesture, she even stuck a finger down her throat, emphasizing her repulsion. Dana’s actions and words left me both amused and more relaxed than I had been all night. She tugged at my arm once again, urging me to stay close, as if seeking solace in our shared embarrassment.
After a profound moment of silence between us, we suddenly erupted into fits of laughter once again. It felt like a tremendous burden had been lifted off my chest, and I couldn’t help but feel a glimmer of hope that I could find my way back into this world and my old life, after all.
And I realized that to salvage this evening, I needed to get out of my head. I playfully slipped my fingers into Dana’s shirt, teasingly searching for any lingering nips, even though I knew that we had drunk them all. She chuckled at my attempt to be bold, pretending to be offended while concealing her now prominent nipples. With a mischievous grin, she reached into her waistband and produced a red gummy bear wrapped in saran wrap, that she held at her waist as she looked around to make sure no one was looking.
“Have you ever had an edible?” Dana inquired, her eyes sparkling with curiosity. “An edible?” I repeated, slightly taken aback. “Yeah, you know, weed in the form of a gummy,” she clarified. I shook my head no, admitting that I had heard about the recent legalization but had never experienced it myself as it was still illegal and hard to get- overseas.
“Well, just take a nibble. Too much and you’ll be sleeping the rest of the night away in the back of my jeep and that would be no fun,” Dana giggled, taking a large bite out of the bear’s head and most of its belly before offering me the remaining portion of the candy. I hesitated for a moment, eying the half-eaten red bear, it looked so innocent but I knew it was not.
I was also intuitively aware of the alcohol coursing through my veins and my already lowered inhibitions. But then, I thought, fuck it, why not?
It was my birthday, and I was spending it with one of my best friends after six long years of separation. With no certainty about what tomorrow would bring and if we would get the gate opened I would have to go and I might never see her again, I decided not to waste the gift that fate had so graciously bestowed upon me today.
Summoning my courage, I opened my mouth and allowed her to drop the gummy onto my tongue. A sense of anticipation washed over me, and a subtle smile played on my lips as I eagerly awaited the unknown and swallowed. Dana leaned in, brushing her lips against mine as if sealing it with a promise of an unforgettable night.