The show is all the way back on and the music has stopped. There’s some guy with wild hair, showing off his little car that can transport turtles safely across the sand to where they need to go. He’s standing in front of a crowd of people and they’re asking him a lot of questions. If I was in his position, I wouldn't want to have to answer so many questions.
“How big of a turtle are we talking about here?” One lady is standing up in the crowd of sitting people, “is it like, this big” she holds her hands out as far as they’ll go “or this big” she brings them in a little “or this big, or what?” She’s bringing in and out with her hands and the man at the podium, explaining about the turtle mobile shakes his head. “Bigger.” And everyone in the crowd gives him a standing ovation. He’s holding praying hands and bowing to them until they stop.
I look at the curtain quick. I forgot to watch it. I was watching this turtle man instead. I get an idea. I’ll do it when the show goes back to commercial.
The cheering and clapping dies down, and the turtle man lowers his head, catching his thoughts. “I put some wheels on it that can grip the sand so they’ll be no more than 1% slippage, even on a beach with equal or more than a 15% incline.” He gestures to the side of the stage and everyone in the crowd is clapping again. It’s another man and he’s got a table with a little car on it with big wheels. “Here it is, straight from the lab, give it up for Oman over here, good job!” He’s clapping now too “brought it right on over here. Put it down.” Oman sets it down beside the man and he’s smiling and waving at the audience before taking his exit. The TV goes to commercial.
I hop up fast, take the curtain by surprise I will. I run to the junk drawer and grab up a marker and run to the window. I trace all around the whole curtain and onto the wall and there’s a nice line now allll the way around the curtain now. Try to move while I’m not watching. Just try it.
The music comes back on the TV and I run over and sit back down, feeling satisfied and a little smug.
The man is taking more questions from the audience. A man stands up and says “Isn’t it true that turtles don’t even really need cars? Don’t they have flippers that they use to, like, flip around on the sand and dig a little?”
The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.
The man in front gives a chuckle “oh no. That’s where you’re wrong. Dead wrong. You see, turtles have always needed cars to get along on the sand. How else are they going to survive out there? They don’t want charity with the people picking them up and helping them back to the sea, or standing over them in the dark to protect them from predators. They want some autonomy so they can come and go as they please. Gives them a sense of accomplishment. If it wasn’t for these here cars, it would be curtains for them.”
My heart starts racing. Curtains. Why did he just say curtains? I look at the curtains and they’re still lined up along my marker marks. Not even a little outside the lines. I look back at the TV, suspicious now. The man is still talking “...up and down the dunes. These little cars can go up to 85mph on a flat chunk of sand, and they’re solar powered, so that’s good for the environment.” A little kid stands up with his hand raised. I look closely at him. He looks familiar. Haven’t I see that kid before? The man points to him “you there, give us the question.” The kid says, “but what if the cars get stolen by the predators and then they can just chase after the turtles even faster?” The man pretends to ponder on the question. He says into the microphone “that is a very good question, young man. Who told you to ask me that?” The kid looks confused and says, loudly so everyone could hear him. “I was just wondering.” The man nods, snaps his fingers, points to the back of the room, then points to the kid. Two giant men wearing matching black suits surround the kid, pick him up, and carrying him out the back.
“Now!” Says the man. “I really love these questions that you’ve been asking. Who has any more for me?” Nobody is standing up now. “Not even a single solitary extra question for me?” He snaps his fingers again and points at random into the crowd. The two matching thugs hoist a man up by his armpits so his feet are two feet off the ground. “Ah yes!” The man in front says “What is your question?” The man is stuttering. “Now now, mustn’t be nervous! Come on now folks, lets give him a round of applause. Give him a little courage to ask away with his questions.” There is a loud round of applause as the man in front raises his hand up, then it abruptly cuts out when he arches it down like a karate chop.
The blubbering man manages to spit out “Wh... what about... I mean... Isn’t it true that these cars are the best cars for turtles in the world?” “I”M GLAD YOU ASKED!” Shouted the man “THEY CERTAINLY ARE!” The crowd goes wild.