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The Shattered Heavens
Shared Experiences

Shared Experiences

“Come on, Octy, don’t be a wimp,” Vita teased with a short ring of laughter, “You’ve already agreed to it, now all you have to do is knock!”

Octavia gulped as she stared at the sliding metal door in front of her, looking it up and down with a nervous expression. It was an identical door to the rest of the ones along the hallway that she was standing in, but her retinal display confirmed that it was the correct room. Even though she was certain she was in the right place she couldn’t bring herself to knock, instead just standing awkwardly in the hallway.

“Okay, tell you what, I’m gonna give you until the count of three,” Vita warned.

“Hey, come on, that’s not fair,” Octavia whispered urgently, “You know this is difficult.”

“It’s not that difficult,” Vita replied dismissively, “One…”

“Hey, hey!” Octavia pleaded desperately, “Come on, now!”

“Two…”

“I hate you,” Octavia groaned as she reached forward and knocked on the door, her bare knuckles rapping against the metal awkwardly.

“I love you too,” Vita remarked playfully.

There was a moment of silence before the door hissed and slid open, revealing the small room within and its sole occupant. Mackenzie was wearing a loose t-shirt and pyjama pants instead of her usual flight jumpsuit, revealing arms that were veritable canvases for full-length tattoo pieces. The display of colour and design completely blocked out any view of her natural skin from her shoulders to her wrists, surprising Octavia as she saw Mackenzie’s uncovered arms for the first time.

“Hey, you made it!” Mackenzie greeted enthusiastically, a wide grin crossing her face and doing little to conceal the growing blush on her cheeks, “After how much you were blushing at lunch I didn’t think you’d take me up on the offer. Come in!” she urged as she stepped out of the doorway, giving Octavia room to enter.

“Thanks,” Octavia remarked with a smile as she stepped past the human into her room. It was a small affair, with a single bed in the corner, a private all-in-one bathroom tucked into the back, and a single armchair with a reading lamp next to it. It obviously wasn’t designed to be used for entertaining guests, but aboard a military vessel, there weren't exactly any other options.

“I’ve got the bed and the chair, you can sit on either,” Mackenzie offered with a smile as she gestured to both, “Sorry there’s not much else here.”

“That’s okay, my parents made me spend a lot longer in something much smaller growing up,” Octavia admitted with a chuckle as she took a seat in the armchair, groaning slightly as she settled.

“Parent problems? Didn’t give you enough love and affection growing up?” Mackenzie asked playfully, offering a light chuckle with the tease.

“You could say that,” Octavia admitted, returning the playful tone as she added, “Couldn’t marry me off, so here I am.”

“Oof,” Mackenzie replied, withdrawing her head in a mock wince before her features shifted into a grin, “Well fuck those guys then, you deserve better,” she added, snapping her fingers into a finger gun in Octavia’s direction as she passed her and strode further into the room. Octavia felt a small tinge of relief that Mackenzie had apparently taken it as a joke.

“I can’t really offer you anything, but I’ve got some chocolate stashed away for a rainy day if you’d like some,” Mackenzie remarked as she took a seat on the edge of the bed closest to Octavia, leaning on the footboard to regard the amaranthian with a smile.

“I’m okay for the moment, thanks,” Octavia dismissed with a shake of her head.

“Doing real good at flirting there, Octy. Real good,” Vita remarked playfully.

“Shut it, Vi,” Octavia remarked, rolling her eyes.

“What’d she say?” Mackenzie asked curiously, an eager glint in her eyes.

“She’s calling me out for being awkward. She thinks I’m doing a bad job at flirting with you,” Octavia admitted with an awkward chuckle, “I’m inclined to agree - I’m not used to this.”

Mackenzie gave a short bark of laughter, shaking her head as she did, “Oh, don’t worry, I’m right there with you,” she admitted with a grin, “I talk a big game but when we get to this point I never know what to do.”

“Colour me surprised,” Octavia admitted playfully, “I would have assumed that you’d have more experience than everyone on the ship combined.”

“Me? No!” Mackenzie exclaimed, “I actually haven’t slept with that many people - I just like flirting,” she added with a lopsided smirk.

“Well, you’ve still got one up on me,” Octavia remarked, “I still haven't gotten there yet,” she admitted, only realizing what she had said after the fact as her cheeks quickly turned red and her ears pinned backwards in embarrassment, “Uh, I mean…”

“Don’t worry, it’s all good,” Mackenzie interrupted with a genuine smile, “It’s okay! I won’t do anything that you aren’t ready for, and I’m not about to judge.”

A warmth spread through Octavia’s chest as a smile spread to her lips, her ears unfolding as her tail twitched slightly behind her, “Thanks,” she remarked warmly, her eyes flicking towards Mackenzie’s as she gazed across the short distance to her.

They stared at each other in silence for a few moments, a conversation of body language passing between them in the quiet atmosphere of the ship. Octavia couldn’t help her tail as it began to gently sway against the seat, the tip wagging back and forth in excitement.

“Your ears and tail - I’ve been trying to figure out what your body language means,” Mackenzie interrupted suddenly, shifting on the bed to better face Octavia, “Your tail wags when you’re happy, but only the tip. It’s kind of like a mix between dog and cat,” she remarked curiously, her smile stretching widely as she added, “It’s super cute.”

Octavia’s blush deepened and she couldn’t help the sheepish smile that crossed her features. One of her ears twitched and she gestured, “Well, that twitch is when I’m embarrassed or anxious. But it’s different from the irritated flick,” she explained. She consciously flicked her ear for emphasis, showing the difference despite her embarrassment.

“I’ve noticed that,” Mackenzie remarked playfully, “Usually your ears flick every time Jace calls you foxy.”

Octavia’s ear flicked and she let out a short titter of laughter which was immediately mirrored by Mackenzie. As their laughter died down after a moment, Octavia shook her head with an endearing grin, “It’s not my fault! Amaranthians literally have zero genetic relation to terran foxes! And we don’t even look like foxes!” she defended, throwing her arms up in the air indignantly.

“You’ve kinda got that fennec fox look going on with the tall ears and the coarse hair,” Mackenzie replied with a little shrug, “Maybe not so much a traditional red fox, but I can definitely see the similarities.”

Blinking curiously, Octavia ran a quick search through her retinal display. As she pulled up pictures of terran’s fennec foxes, she suddenly exclaimed and threw her arms up, “Laws damnit! Why do you have to be right?” she shouted, closing the search in frustration as her ears flicked irritatedly.

Mackenzie couldn’t help the short string of laughter that escaped her, her cheeks red as she watched Octavia’s outburst, “Did you just look them up?” she asked amusedly.

“Yes!” Octavia exclaimed, shooting Mackenzie with a wide-eyed look of disbelief, “So that’s why Jace thinks I look like a fox? Laws damnit!” she shouted again as Mackenzie’s laughter only increased at her displeasure.

“You have to admit there are similarities!” Mackenzie defended through her laughter, raising her hands placatingly.

“That’s why I’m mad!” Octavia exclaimed, her own laughter bleeding through her indignation.

“Aww, but don’t be mad, it’s so cute!” Mackenzie pleaded with a grin, shifting to face Octavia with wide eyes, “Those ears, I just wanna pet ‘em! And that fluffy tail, my god,” she added with an awestruck look.

Octavia’s blush deepened as she grinned shyly and looked down at her tail, the tip still wagging steadily in her enjoyment. For once she wasn’t armoured, exposing her fluffy sand-coloured tail to the world. Getting an idea, Octavia stood up and walked over to the bed, sitting next to Mackenzie as the human watched her with fascinated eyes. Curling her tail around her hips, Octavia gestured to it, “You can touch it if you’re gentle,” she offered coyly.

Mackenzie blinked in surprise, but her surprise quickly shifted into overwhelming joy as she shuffled on the bed to better face Octavia, “Are you sure? I heard touching someone’s tail is supposed to be like a taboo or something,” she remarked, though the eager grin didn’t leave her face.

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“It’s taboo because the base of the tail is incredibly sensitive,” Octavia explained, her cheeks turning bright red as her ears twitched embarrassedly, “There are a lot of nerve endings because it’s an extension of the spine. Too rough of a touch can be debilitating, while the right touch can be...” she trailed off, leaving the rest unsaid as she briefly cleared her throat and continued, “But yes, I’m sure. I trust you.”

Mackenzie blushed deeply at the admittance, a bashful look crossing her features. Rather than say anything, she slowly reached forward, pausing only briefly before she crossed the rest of the distance and carefully stroked Octavia’s tail. As her hand parted the thick fur, Octavia squirmed as a jolt of pleasure raced up her spine, sending electric sensations through her nervous system. She bit her bottom lip, her eyes falling shut of their own accord as a quiet sound escaped her throat.

“Wow, that sensitive, huh?” Mackenzie asked playfully as she stroked Octavia’s tail gently from the halfway point to the tip, curling her fingers around the longest of the coarse hairs towards the end.

“Mhm,” Octavia managed quietly, nodding her head as she kept her eyes closed and her bottom lip firmly between her front teeth.

“So if I do this,” Mackenzie began as she slipped her fingers up Octavia’s tail, combing them through the long fur until the tips of her fingers circled around the hidden flesh of Octavia’s limb.

Rather than the reaction she was expecting, Octavia lept in shock at the sudden touch, the world crashing around her all at once as a spike of fear lanced up her spine and into the base of her skull. Her tail whipped out of Mackenzie’s hand as her body moved on its own accord, propelling her across the bed as she violently tackled the human into the footboard with her hands firmly locked around Mackenzie’s throat. It was only a split second, but as Octavia regained control of her programming her eyes immediately shifted into wide-eyed saucers of horror as she stared down at the terrified visage of Mackenzie.

“Oh my Laws,” Octavia muttered as she pried her hands off of Mackenzie’s throat, immediately scuffling backwards across the bed until she felt her back slam into the headboard painfully, “I’m so sorry!” she exclaimed as she brought her knees to her chest, tucking her hands tightly between her legs as she stared in horror at the supine human.

Mackenzie slowly sat up, one of her hands rubbing at her neck awkwardly as she righted herself. She held her other hand out placatingly, “It’s okay, it’s okay,” she reassured quietly as she tilted her head from side to side, the bones in her neck cracking loud enough for Octavia’s sensitive ears to hear.

“I could have killed you,” Octavia stated, blinking as the shock of the statement settled in. A cold sensation spread from her spine as she began to quiver, her eyes slowly falling from Mackenzie’s face down to her neck as a pang of guilt rocked through her chest. Her eyes continued to fall until they settled on her own hands, tucked protectively between her legs as she muttered more quietly, “I could have killed you…”

“But you didn’t,” Mackenzie offered tentatively. When Octavia didn’t respond or look up, she could feel the bed jostling as Mackenzie crawled across the mattress to sit at Octavia’s side at the headboard. Octavia immediately moved to get off the bed, only to stop in surprise as she found Mackenzie’s arms wrapped around her in a tight embrace, forcing Octavia to remain where she was.

“What are you doing?” Octavia muttered pitifully, “You shouldn’t touch me, I have no control over myself,” she warned, her head ducking as tears began to matt the coarse fur of her cheeks, leaving behind dark streaks as she turned her head groundwards.

“I’m hugging you,” Mackenzie stated simply as she forced Octavia to lean into her, keeping her arms tightly locked around her shoulders, “And I’m touching you because I trust you,” she reassured quietly as she leaned forward to rest her chin on the top of Octavia’s head. Her tall ears twitched at the proximity, each breath tickling the base of her ears, but she couldn’t bring herself to pull away.

“You shouldn’t trust me, I’m fucking useless,” Octavia remarked bitterly, her voice taking on a coarse edge as the tension in her throat built up. She tried to contain the sobs threatening to force their way out of her, but every word she spoke made it more and more difficult to keep her feelings in check.

“Useless?” Mackenzie asked in disbelief, “What, are you crazy? You can go toe-to-toe with Zuur! You can look stuff up on the internet with your fucking brain! You can talk to machines and you have a whole second fucking person in your head!” the human enthused, pulling back far enough to gaze at Octavia with wide, adoring eyes, “Girl, you’re awesome!”

Octavia looked up at the taller woman, gazing up at her face with disbelief through tear-misted eyes. After a moment of staring she averted her gaze and turned her head back towards her knees as she tightened her position in on herself, “None of that matters,” Octavia replied coarsely as she swallowed to avoid breaking into uncontrollable sobs, “I’m still just… me.”

“What’s wrong with being you?” Mackenzie asked with a frown, her grip tightening around Octavia’s shoulders in response to her tense stance.

“I shouldn’t be like this,” she spat, holding her shaking hands out in front of her with an accusatory glare, “I’m supposed to be better than this! I’m supposed to be an amaranthoid already, not this stupid emotional mess in a flesh prison that can’t even control its own damn fear response!” As Octavia finally let loose, the damn burst as she ended her exclamation on a broken sob that racked her entire body with painful heaves as her breath began to come in short inhales.

Mackenzie immediately began to shush Octavia, offering gentle coos as she reached up and gently cupped the top of Octavia’s head. Gently pulling Octavia’s head to her breast, Mackenzie began to stroke the top of Octavia’s head, carefully brushing between her ears and down the back of her neck. As Octavia sobbed into her chest she continued to offer whispered sweet nothings, trying to soothe the inconsolable woman as best she could.

“I don’t know much about amaranthoids, I’ll admit,” Mackenzie began thoughtfully as she gently brushed Octavia’s head, leaning back into the headrest to get more comfortable as she supported Octavia’s weight, “But I don’t know what’s so great about them. And I don’t know what’s wrong with being you,” she added with a small smile, her fingers carefully scratching behind Octavia’s ears, “I kinda like you, y'know?”

Despite the uncontained sorrow, Octavia couldn’t help but feel the corners of her mouth turn up slightly at Mackenzie’s admittance. As she gazed at the tall woman from behind her hazy eyes, she couldn’t help but compare her to the very thing she strove to be. The pilot had never once faltered in her calm, cool demeanour, and was always so sure of everything she did. As the light reflected in the tears clouding her vision, she could swear the white light was emanating from the human herself.

“See?” Mackenzie replied positively, giving Octavia a squeeze around the shoulders, “It’s okay to cry - but don’t be so hard on yourself. I like you, Octavia, and I wouldn’t want you to be anyone else,” she reassured as she reached up and pulled Octavia’s head against her chest again, resuming her steady petting.

“It’s not so easy,” Octavia replied quietly between her shaky breaths, but she found that the tears were slowing and she had more time between impulsive heaves of her chest. Despite herself, Mackenzie seemed to have found a way to get her to calm down, even if all she wanted to do was cry and run away. The sensation of Mackenzie’s fingers combing through her fur sent gentle pangs of reassurance down her back, the calm rising in her from the bottom of her stomach with each stroke.

“What’s not easy about it?” Mackenzie asked, shifting to pet a new part of Octavia’s head as she gazed down at the amaranthian adoringly, “Explain your thoughts to me, foxy,” she teased with a subdued chuckle.

“Not a fox,” Octavia replied as one of her ears flicked, the annoyance cutting through her sorrow as easily as a knife through butter. She couldn’t help but scoff slightly as she realized what Mackenzie had done, her eyes flicking up to look at Mackenzie’s face from the comfort of her breast.

“I know, babe,” Mackenzie reassured with a warm smile, “So? Tell me what’s up.”

“It’s just…” Octavia trailed off for a moment, giving a shaking sigh as she averted her gaze and looked down at Mackenzie’s lap, “Everyone I know is an amaranthoid already. All of my friends. My family. My teachers. They all just… left me behind. Like I wasn’t enough,” she added, her hands clenched into fists as a fresh shudder swept through her, “I just want to be enough.”

“But you are enough,” Mackenzie replied confidently. She reached down and cupped Octavia’s pointed chin, forcing her to tilt her head up to look at the human’s visage. When Octavia finally complied, Mackenzie offered her a genuine smile as she gazed down at her, “You’re an amaranthian Honor Guard! You’re going to command armies, be the bleeding edge of ultratech, you’re going to influence politics and be the face of your race! You wouldn’t be doing any of that if you weren’t enough.”

Octavia’s breath hitched and the overwhelming desire to avert her eyes hit her like a freight train and yet she found she couldn’t look away from Mackenzie’s jade eyes, the deep pools of green drawing her gaze in and locking her from any attempts to look away. She stammered softly for a moment, searching for words as her dying stream of tears trickled down her cheeks. Finally, after a few moments of opening and closing her mouth, she finally managed to whisper in a shaking voice that Mackenzie could barely hear over the din of the ship around them, “But I’m not ready.”

“If you weren’t ready, you wouldn’t be here,” Mackenzie responded, her smile unwavering and her gaze locked into Octavia’s in kind, “You prove to everyone that you’re ready every time you put that helmet on. Every time you ask another question. Every time you try to save a bot,” she added with a knowing look.

“W-what?” Octavia stammered, her cheeks turning bright red as shame burnt through her mind.

“I know that bot didn’t know anything. She looked like she barely knew her own name after what happened there,” the human remarked with a small shrug, “You saved her life - Zuur probably would have just bitten her head off before we left.”

“B-but,” Octavia hesitated, trying to pull back only for Mackenzie’s fingers to clamp down on her chin, keeping her locked firmly in place. A new sensation rushed through her at the dominant grasp, a small gasp of air sucked into her lungs as the foreign thrill lingered in her mind and added to the haze as she tried to search for the right words. With an uncertain tone, she managed to bumble, “But aren’t you mad?”

“Why would I be?” Mackenzie asked with a raised eyebrow, “Look, no rogue AI screams out for their friends like that. They’re fighting for their right to live, same as us. There’s no shame in having a little humanity on the battlefield,” she reassured, her smile returning as she gently ran her thumb over Octavia’s chin while she kept her grip tight.

“You’re incredible,” Octavia blurted out before she could stop herself, her mouth snapping shut and her ears pinning against the back of her head as she realized what she had said. She moved to avert her gaze once again, only to find that Mackenzie’s grip on her chin hadn’t let up in the slightest, forcing her to remain face to face with the tall human. Tilting her eyes downwards as best she could, she managed to mutter, “I don’t know why someone as perfect as you likes an imposter like me.”

“Hey,” Mackenzie snapped firmly, causing Octavia to flinch, “Look at me.”

Mackenzie’s tone was firm, unflinching and dominant, and it was enough to cause Octavia’s fur to stand on end in a combination of fear and excitement. She slowly looked up at Mackenzie’s face, locking eyes with her jade jewels once again despite the embarrassment burning away at her cheeks.

“You’re not an imposter,” Mackenzie reassured firmly, “And of course I like you. I like you a lot,” she added, her smile morphing into a mischievous smirk, “You’re smart and capable, and you’re curious and kind, and you’re an absolute badass and you’re sexy as fuck on top of all of that,” she explained, leaning down slightly to place her face closer to Octavia’s, “You’re special. You’re unique. And you’re loved.”

Staring into Mackenzie’s fierce green eyes as she brought her face closer to her own, Octavia couldn’t quite place the feeling that she was experiencing. She was full of awe, adoration and a strange sensation that she could only describe as a sense of belonging. As much as she wanted to argue, she found that the words simply wouldn’t come. She gulped nervously as she whispered, “B-but…”

Octavia was cut off as Mackenzie hooked the fingers on her chin around her muzzle, snapping her mouth shut forcibly to prevent Octavia from talking. Her smirk grew as she did, speaking firmly, “And in light of you being loved, I’m going to give you a few rules. And I expect you to follow them to the letter,” she instructed, leaning up until her chin was above Octavia’s head and her mouth directly between her ears.

“Rule one,” Mackenzie began in a sultry whisper, the tones sending shivers down Octavia’s spine, “No more talking shit about yourself. You are an incredible woman and I refuse to listen to you say mean things about the girl I happen to like,” she explained. Despite the quiet tone, it was enough to overwhelm Octavia’s ears, causing Mackenzie’s voice to assault her from all directions simultaneously.

“Rule two,” the human continued slowly as her other hand slowly began to run circles along Octavia’s back, pressing firmly into the muscles she found there. Each stroke caused Octavia to actively bite back groans of enjoyment as the tender muscles were massaged, her tail beginning to flick of its own accord in enjoyment. She almost missed it when Mackenzie spoke her next order, “You are special, unique and loved. You will believe such, no matter what anyone else says about you.”

Octavia’s eyelids felt heavy, her breath coming in deep and laboured as Mackenzie whispered into her ears and held her mouth shut. With her face pressed firmly against Mackenzie’s breasts as the human leaned over her, it was all she could do to hold on for dear life as Mackenzie’s words became her whole world, overwhelming her down to the core. She shook and shivered uncontrollably, small shudders racing up and down her diminutive form as her fur stood on end, her hidden skin shifting into gooseflesh at the overwhelming sensations.

“Rule three,” Mackenzie continued as she slowly pulled away, giving Octavia an opportunity to breathe lungfuls of unobstructed air. She withdrew until she could look down at Octavia once again, their eyes locking as Octavia felt a whimper escape her throat without her conscious thought. Her tail wagged faster, the tip of her limb flicking excitedly against Mackenzie’s thigh.

“If you follow Rule One and Rule Two, you will spend every waking moment with me so I can prove that you’re loved and have value,” she stated firmly. She leaned forward until the tip of her nose was pressed gently against Octavia’s black nose, moving her hand up Octavia’s muzzle to her cheek where she gently caressed her fur there. Octavia couldn’t help it as she subconsciously leaned into the hand without breaking contact with Mackenzie’s nose, a soft coo escaping her lips as her mouth cracked open.

Staring at Mackenzie through heavy eyelids, she could scarcely put together a thought, let alone a sentence. Eventually, she managed to pull herself together enough to say one word, uttered shakily through a tear-strained voice.

“Okay.”

Her entire world imploded the moment Mackenzie’s lips pressed firmly against hers.