Ding!
The sound of the workshop's massive doors sliding open once again didn't detract from my work in the slightest, even if I did feel a note of embarrassment that other people were about to see what I was doing.
"Ooh! What's that smell?" the voice of Blaise called out. The Velvet Star's resident [Witch] stepped into the room alongside Lulu, the Lapin Halfblood [Alchemist]. She sniffed at the air with raised eyebrows before turning her eyes in my direction. "Is someone cooking here, in the workshop?"
Her words earned a laugh from Shafu, who sat next to me in her modified chair, watching with a grin that stretched ear to ear as I tried out my... my latest idea.
Wanting to get my attention off it even if only for a moment, I let my concentration turn towards the pair that entered. The pink haired [Witch] stepped over to the makeshift metal table I'd crafted, holding an object I couldn't identify in one hand. It had a black rubber handle and a long, glowing metallic rod extending out from it. I couldn't help but liken the enchanted artefact to some sort of baton or torture device, even if I had a suspicion as to what it was.
"Yeah, you came just in time for the barbeque!" Shafu laughed as the [Witch] came over, holding out the magic item towards the Darkling.
"Mind having a look at the hair straightener you made me? The runes looked a little weird when I used it this morning, and I really don't want it exploding when I'm trying to get myself together," Blaise explained, handing the glowing object to the Darkling as she brought it close to her amber eyes to inspect her own handiwork.
Next to the [Witch], I saw Lulu waving to Conahan, who was looking towards the hair straightener in disappointment before giving the woman a nod of acknowledgement. I noticed her nose twitching, sniffing at the air as she was inevitably drawn to... my work.
"You worry too much, Blaise. My work doesn't degrade that fast, my runes just look a little exotic, that's all" Shafu smiled, turning off the red and black [Insight] coating her eyes as she handed the item back over.
"Says the woman with the 'chaos' specialisation," Conahan added dryly, looking back towards Blaise. "You were right to be wary of her artefact, Bubblegum Blaze. Even if it is only Heat Magic, any of Shambles' artefacts are things to be cautious around."
Shafu rolled her eyes as Blaise stepped away, looking down towards my table and the shame sitting atop it. The pink ghostly Cat perched on her shoulder leapt down, landing next to the green, metal Cat I was currently working with.
To avoid focusing on her expression or what she must be looking like right now, I decided to instead focus on her Familiar. Even if its form was conjured, it looked very convincing. Its movements and mannerisms were incredibly lifelike, even if it was a wispy Spirit. If a sheet had been put over it and a real Cat, I doubt I'd have been able to tell the difference looking at their movements alone.
"What're you doing?" Blaise murmured to herself, words that I would really rather not have heard as the sides of my form heated up. Then, her pink-violet eyes turned to look over her shoulder towards the grinning Darkling. "Is this some kind of practical joke, Shafu?"
Lulu looked disappointed, crossing both arms as her disapproving eyes turned towards the cackling Darkling.
"No, no! We're actually trying to get Yuri's magic to grow!" she replied, still wearing a toothy grin.
"As sad as it sounds, this was something Shambles earnestly believed would work," Conahan replied, disappointment laced in his voice.
My attention finally turned back towards the metal cat, and the small, cut chunk of cooked Mammoth meat covered in spices placed inside of its mouth.
Blaise leaned towards the table, sniffing at the food before leaning back with a shiver.
"Wow that's spicy. What did you even put on that? Inferno Pepper?" Blaise asked, her expression contorting with revulsion.
"Salamander Pepper," Shafu snorted, raising an eyebrow towards the pale skinned [Witch]. "How could you even mix those up? That stuff Yur's got is mild."
I'd never heard of an Inferno Pepper, but Shafu had specifically brought me a Salamander Pepper from 'her stash' for this little arcane experiment. It had been a thick red pepper with scale-like ridges along the skin, one that Shafu had diced up rather expertly with a knife atop a chopping board left down on the table.
"Whatever. They're practically the same anyway," Blaise responded with an eye roll.
"It's not that spicy, Blaise. This definitely isn't an Inferno Pepper," Lulu smiled, nose twitching as she sniffed at the spice without leaning down.
"Thank the Gods someone can tell the difference. Can't trust a Human to know spices, huh?" Shafu grinned, eyes turning towards the Rabbitfolk Halfblood. "I didn't think Lapin were good with spices though, so how'd you know?"
"That's... just a stereotype. I don't mind spices that much, even if my folks hate the stuff," Lulu admitted with a sheepish smile. "I wouldn't risk an Inferno or Sol Pepper, but I could handle a Salamander just fine."
Shafu's expression brightened further as the metal fingers of her prosthetic arm curled into a fist, one held out towards Lulu. The Halfblood skipped over, her hand curling into a fist of its own to bump against Shafu's.
"So... why're you doing this, Yuri?" Lulu asked, eyes turning towards my form. With the attention and embarrassment I felt burning up my sides, I was surprised that the water in my cube wasn't beginning to boil.
"[It is... to try and develop my magic,]" I responded vaguely, only getting a few looks of confusion as Shafu grinned wider. "[Sigura likes this sort of food, and the construct was based on her, so... I thought this might be a good way to integrate my sense of taste with the Cat's mouth.]"
"Aww, that's so cute!" Blaise laughed, walking over to pat the side of my metal mech, which didn't help with the reddening whatsoever.
"[Sigura is a fixture from my old life before the facility,]" I replied, trying not to sound as flustered as I felt. "[She's integrated with my ideas of home, and doing this was...]"
I paused, unable to find a way to explain that wouldn't make me seem even more ridiculous.
"[...good for magic,]" I finished weakly. "[How did you get your Cat Familiar to move like that, Blaise?]"
Good. This was the right path forward. Divert her attention, potentially get some useful knowledge, and get everyone to focus on someone else for a bit while my body heat dropped down to something approaching a normal level.
"Hmm? Oh, right, Blaze. That's easy, I was raised a [Witch], so this came pretty naturally," Blaise grinned, thankfully drawing the eyes of the others to her with that lackluster explanation.
"That does nothing to answer her question, Blaise," Conahan added dryly, eyes half-closed and expression exasperated. Even with his eyes hidden by the purple visor he wore, he conveyed it all with his voice.
"Her mom's a crazy Cat lady, Yur," Shafu grinned, jerking a mechanical thumb Blaise's direction.
"That's! Alright, that's not exactly true, but I guess that's close enough," Blaise blustered, only to lose steam and shrug out a half-hearted response. "We have pets. I know how they move, so it's pretty easy to picture it."
"[Movement isn't difficult for me, but your little Familiar-]"
"Blaze," she cut in.
"[Blaze, is... it moves on its own. It doesn't have a Human's mannerisms in it, does it?]" I asked.
"Oh, right. That's easy too," Blaise grinned, raising a single hand covered in a black fingerless glove. She extended a single finger tipped with a pink coloured nail as Aera began to coalesce around the end of the digit, forming a ball of neon pink light that had wavy edges, spinning in place like a thick liquid. "Just make a ball like this, create a solid shape around it, give it some life, and boom. That's all Blaze is."
She held out an arm for the Cat as its head turned from my own metal mimicry, leaping onto the [Witch] as it climbed back up to her shoulder.
"Never quit workin' here to look for a job teachin', Blaise," Shafu grinned.
"[I'm... not sure how to do any of that,]" I admitted.
"It's easy," Blaise shrugged, waving her finger in a circle as the ball became a stream that followed the motion in the air, turning into a ring of coloured light. "It's like using [Mantle], just a little thicker. Then separate it from the Aura."
"That isn't as easy for everyone, Blaise," Lulu smiled, raising her own hand as her finger was coated with a sky-blue Aera, one with faint hexagonal patterns on it. The light attempted to rise above her nail, but struggled and wobbled in its attempts. "I can't do it either."
"And you can't do half the cool stuff Yur can either, BB," Shafu added with a smile, wheeling herself over to the table. "If you don't get how you're doin' it, you could'a just said so."
The Darkling held out a hand to the [Witch], taking the enchanted hair straightener again as her [Insight] flared to life. Then, she ran a prosthetic finger over the metal, prompting the dark red runes mimicking pictures of flames, horns, and miniature explosions to appear beneath her touch.
"[Do you... have any specific advice for my own project?]" I asked the [Witch], bringing one floating hand forward to pull the meat I couldn't taste from the makeshift Cat's mouth, using my [Telekinetic Field] to walk it to the edge of the table, looking up at her.
"Why don't you just make an Artificial Soul? That's way easier than whatever you're doing," Blaise shrugged.
"[What...?]" I replied quietly, still not getting it. Shafu was right. Blaise wouldn't make for a good [Teacher]. If only everyone needed to actively think about their magical development and not just rely on gut instinct to grow, explanations would be much simpler. But of course, magic rarely bowed to logic alone.
"Y'know, just like... a manifested idea or thought process? You just... ball it up in Aera, create a psychic link with it, and boom. Simple," she told me, 'popping' the stream as it disappeared into motes of neon light.
"[How? What's the first step?]" I pressed. Blaise really did seem like she had good control over her Aera, but actually figuring out what she was doing was more taxing than anything else. I activated my [Insight] in the hopes that I could figure some of it out on my own, blanketing the room and those with me in the misty light of Aera.
"Alright... step one..." Blaise commented, her body now tinted by the pinkish potion-textured Aera surrounding her. "Can you detach your Aera yet?"
"[No,]" I responded simply. That was the crux of the whole damn problem. I couldn't get the damn Cat to work outside my zones.
"It's just like [Release]. It's pretty easy once you get the hang of it," she replied.
Then, I felt that reddish tinge return to my sides.
"[Ah... I, erm... I don't know how to do [Release] yet,]" I told them.
I'd been meaning to practice Visionary's method, but between our recent jobs, Fareel, and this project, it had completely slipped my mind. If I still had a [Silent Heart], I was certain that I wouldn't have been so negligent, but emotions made everything so much more muddled and difficult to keep track of.
"Wait, you can't?" Shafu asked, looking up from the artefact in her hands to plant her amber eyes tinted red by Aera directly on me. "I thought you'd know all the Luster Arts by now."
"[I... I understand the theory behind the ability, but I never quite got the hang of it,]" I admitted, deactivating my [Insight] as the world's colour returned to normal.
"That might be what you need then, so we'll handle that first," Shafu grinned, holding out the hair straightener to the [Witch] once again. "The runes're just fine, BB, but you were right to come check with me if you weren't certain. You don't want an artefact warpin' on you, especially one with Heat Magic."
"Right," the [Witch] nodded, taking the deactivated hair straightener. "Thanks, by the way. I'll make it up to you if you need a potion or something, Shafu."
"I'm more interested in checking out your broom, but we can do that another time," Shafu grinned, kicking her hooves against the floor to wheel away, bonking against the side of my mech, her head and grinning face tilting upwards as her long, spiky blond hair pressed against the metal. "We've got some work to do of our own."
"We'll leave you both to it then," Lulu smiled, following along as Blaise waved over one shoulder during her trip to the door. "Good luck with your training, Yuri!"
"[Thank you, Lulu,]" I called back with a voice echoing through [Telepathy]. The doors opened once again with a Ding! before sliding closed behind them.
"I really thought you knew them all. Why didn't you say anything?" Shafu asked, pulling her heavy chair away from my mech to whirl around and face towards me.
"[I've been very busy lately, and... It completely slipped my mind,]" I admitted, bringing my floating hands to rest aside my glass cube as the last hand finished wiping away bits of grease and spice from the inside of my Cat's mouth. "[I've had a lot on my mind recently, and practicing [Release] must have... slipped through the cracks.]
"Luster Arts are the fundamentals of all Aera control, Homebound. Learning them even before spellcasting itself is how people should be taught," Conahan replied with a sigh, looking towards the Cat once again. "They are not only useful in isolation, but their principles can be applied to all fields of the arcane."
"Yup, Conny's right," Shafu grinned. "They teach a lot of good stuff even without the advanced Luster Techniques like [Sheen] and [Fortress]. If you don't know one of 'em, we should fix that ASAP."
Then, the Darkling got to her feet, planting both metal hands on her hips, pinning the lab coat she wore to her sides.
"You head down to the training halls, Yur. Give me a few minutes to get changed and I'll meet you there," she... advised? Ordered?
I wasn't quite in the mood for training, but if it served to be the breakthrough I needed for this stupid Cat project, then I'd accept it with open arms.
Or... open hands.
"[Alright. But if this doesn't work out, then you're figuring out the next idea to try on this Cat, understand?]" I retorted. "[You can shoulder the embarrassment of having the dumb idea next time.]"
"Got it, chief," she responded with a wry grin.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
With my legs sprawled out on both sides of the mech, I sat in the center of a training hall beneath the Velvet Star's main floor.
Knowing that overthinking things wouldn't help while I waited, I focused entirely on the flow of Aera within and around my mech. The feeling of focused intent drifting through my body like a rock down a curved river. Gently drifting and bumping along the edges of my Aura, a barrier surround me that extended outwards from the center of my pink fleshy mass through the metal I'd woven and made my own.
My [Mantle] was active and clear, my [Sensory Zone] reduced to near nothing as I sat in a world of blackness in an attempt to reach greater focus, with-
Something pressed against the front of my [Mantle]. A new sensation, one different from the calm, collected, and organised 'intent' that the identity of my own Aera carried. It was bouncy, chaotic, and curious. A deep red with black symbols of books, masks, horns, Cats, and many others, standing in stark contrast to my own plain metallic green Aera.
Through a slow, gentle expansion of my [Sensory Zone] as to not disrupt my focus, I began to 'open my eyes'. Water. Glass. Metal. These things flooded into my restricted vision as I saw Shafu standing in front of me.
Despite saying she was 'going to change', there was little difference in her outfit. She was wearing a pair of cylindrical boots to fit around her hooves, both crafted from woven metal. Each had a pair of metal barrels on the outer side of the footwear, adorned with a set of wavy, dark red runes. Her metallic arms had received similar additions, with a pair of those cylindrical 'barrels' attached to the topside of both arms, the sleeves of her labcoat rolled up to reveal them.
Beyond those small additions, the only changes were the collection of flavour cubes in one hand and a lollipop stick hanging out of her mouth.
"Gettin' started without me, huh? Least you're all warmed up already," Shafu smiled, her [Mantle] flowing around her body. I saw her other prosthetic arm pressed against the coloured rose at the forefront of my mech, her flowing Aera brushing against my own.
"[I wanted to try and get in the zone before you arrived. I'm hoping it was more worth doing than brainstorming,]" I replied as she walked to the wall, pulling down the makeshift table before leaving the assortment of coloured flavour cubes down next to her.
"Good thinkin'. Or... lack thereof, I guess," the Darkling shrugged, walking before over to me. "You made the right call, Yur. Aera flow is all that matters when it comes to Luster Arts, not thought, theory, or identity."
With that, she raised an arm up to face the wall opposite the 'table', curling her fingers into a fist as the end of a barrel atop her prosthetic began to light up with a red glow.
"Might wanna turn yer [Insight] on for this, Yur. Demonstrations work best for this sorta stuff," she told me as I activated the Luster Art, sending my Aera throughout my [Sensory Zone] in a thin layer, causing her body to be more deeply tinted with red light and black shapes.
I was thankful that Shafu had come here and taken the time to train me. She was under no obligation to do so, and I had little to offer in return for her help. I knew she would simply say 'That's what friends do!' or something of the sort, but it still felt like I was getting more out of this than she was. I'd try to make it up to her later.
From the end of the barrel, I saw a flash of red. She shot a [Release] forward with a punch-like motion, sending a shockwave that splashed against the opposite wall with a harmless thud as the light dispersed from the center of the impact.
"See that, Yur? That's what people call a 'Motion [Release]'," Shafu grinned, planting both hands on her hips before turning back towards me. "It travels farther, hits a little harder, and it's easier to control. Simple for people even with weird bodies like us."
Despite the wiggling of her prosthetic limbs for emphasis, I couldn't help but feel our situations were far too different to be compared.
"[I know what [Release] looks like, Shafu. You said it travels 'farther'. There's another way of doing [Release], isn't there?]" I asked, already knowing the answer. "[The ball type?]"
"Yup, there is. It's way less common than the motion variant, and it's a little harder to do, too," Shafu replied, holding one arm outwards towards the wall again, fingers splayed. The red light of her Aera gathered once again, coalescing in front of her palm. The light wrapped and spun around itself, forming a crimson sphere. After a moment of holding it in place, the sphere popped, sending a rush of air away from the source as Shafu's arm buckled slightly from the recoil. "People call it the 'Bubble [Release]', but I'm not as good at usin' it. My Aera doesn't like being restrained, so motion comes much more easily to me."
It was smaller in scale than Visionary's full body usage of the technique, but it was undoubtedly the same in principle. Seeing the two side by side, the differences between them were clear.
"[Shorter range, wider area of effect, and it doesn't require any physical motion?]" I asked, putting my observations forward.
"Ding ding!" Shafu smiled, waggling a single finger. "Right on the mark. Though a 'Motion [Release]' doesn't really need a physical motion either, even if the name's a little misleadin'. People just find it way easier to use with some kinda movement to guide it in a given direction. Easy, huh?"
Easy... My legs curled up, allowing me to rise to my 'feet', standing once again.
"[Easy for you, maybe... I'm still learning, Shafu. Wait... If it's so easy, why do you need those attachments to use [Release]?]" I asked her accusingly, raising a single pointed leg to tap the barrel atop her gauntlet.
Shafu only let out a laugh at that, taking a few steps back as I watched her appear to grow an inch or two taller. Looking beneath her boots, I saw that two wheels had popped out from the soles of her mechanical footwear. The Darkling crouched slightly as the backsides of the barrels on her boots lit up red, letting out a wave of force that sent her flying forwards along the training hall. She turned her legs, leaning her body to the side as she skidded to a stop, a grin stretched across her face.
"These things? I made 'em ages ago and dug 'em up for trainin'! They still work like a charm, too! They help me focus [Release] and make it less taxin' for my Soul to use. And I can get around faster with 'em too! Did you have rollerskates wherever you came from, you bumpkin?" Shafu asked, letting the barrels explode with a more concentrated form of light as she flew forward, beginning to quickly wheel around the hall, practically flying circles around my mechanical form.
"[No, but I know what they are, Shafu,]" I retorted with a huff.
"How about you give it a try then?" the Darkling asked, skidding to a stop in front of me. "Shape your Aera into a ball and detach it."
"[A sphere...?]" I murmured to myself, trying to drown out all unneeded stimuli as I focused once again on my Aera. I felt the solidified intent flowing through my mech, sending it to the very tip of a raised leg. I'd been confident about my ability to sense and control the flow before Shafu had come in, but... "[How am I supposed to make it flow off of my body...?]"
I felt the metallic green Aera coalesce around the end of the limb, thickening around it, but actually pushing it off of the limb and my Aura felt... strange. I knew it was possible, given that I'd seen Shafu, Blaise, and Visionary do it, but...
"My guess is that your Skills ended up teachin' you some bad habits, Yur," Shafu commented, folding her metallic arms as her [Insight] coated eyes locked onto the end of my raised limb. "You're real used to sending your Aera to flow through a physical medium that yer Soul isn't used to emitting it. That's prob'ly yer issue."
Too used to making it flow through a medium...? That wasn't entirely true, was it? I was capable of creating fire, and... no, that always formed at the end of a limb, too.
"[What about my zones? Those aren't connected to a physical medium,]" I retorted.
"Yeah, s'pose you're right," Shafu shrugged. "Those're the exceptions rather than the rule. Might be because of yer Chimera body doin' most of the work with Skills though, not your Soul on its own. Think of the metal you use as like... trainin' wheels on a bike. You just gotta figure out how to ride without the help."
I didn't like how reductive she was being about my medium of choice, but she had a point if I still couldn't do this. Over the course of several minutes, I tried pushing, pulling, and curving my Aera up off of the limb, but...
"[I can't do it, Shafu. Do you have any other suggestions? Some sort of tool I could use to help focus it, like your barrels or a pair of Insight Goggles?]" I asked, feeling my mech sag a little in time with the words.
"That's the problem, Yur! Yer too reliant on tools! You gotta learn how to shape this stuff without outside help," Shafu laughed, rubbing her metal hands together. "That's why I brought these puppies along! I might be a little rusty, but we could do some mock combat."
Mock combat? I'd barely seen Shafu use her magic before, let alone fight.
"[Are you sure? What kind of mock combat?]" I asked as she took a few steps away, her back to me.
"Simple! I'm gonna shoot [Releases] at you. I'll make 'em weak at first, but they'll get harder and harder every time! All you've gotta do is figure it out and counter with your own!" she explained, Aera thickening around her fingers.
"[Wait! That... is there no easier way of doing this? That seems a little...]"
"Barbaric? Blunt? Yeah, maybe, but this is how I was taught too, Yur! No point in takin' shortcuts with the arcane, Yur! Doesn't work that way!" Shafu grinned, a glint in her eyes that she was going to enjoy this on a level beyond simple education. "Difficulty breeds Experience, remember? I promise not to hit ya too hard! Oh, and no usin' [Mantle] or [Sheen] either, that's cheatin'!"
No [Mantle] either...? I could understand the merit of trying to master it while under fire, but that logical conclusion didn't make me feel any more eager to get struck over and over again. The light around me faded, even if I kept my [Insight] active. If I could glean anything from how Shafu was doing it while under attack, that could be the hint I needed.
Or it would just give me more to distract and distance myself with as I was getting battered by shockwaves. One or the other.
Raising one limb and feeling increasingly uncertain, I said "[Alright, I'm ready.]"
Without a single moment of warning or hesitation, the first [Release] was fired. It was weak and aimed for my outstretched leg, little more than a magical tap. Still, I recoiled in shock at how quick she'd fired the Motion [Release].
Taking a moment to try and brace my leg for the second impact and register the flow of my Aera, I watched as her boots lit up once again, sending her flying forward as she began to make circles around me once again.
"You gotta do it while I'm doin' this too, Yur! If you get the timin' down that'll be even better for yer growth!" she spoke, her voice distorted by the whipping wind as she spun along the training hall floor.
Timing wasn't a problem given my omnidirectional vision and [Thought Acceleration], but actually creating a [Release] to combat her damnable blasts was the issue. The second shockwave came from behind, striking my mech as I scuttled forward with surprise.
I quickly focused on the flow, trying to put something together to block her hits as the third [Release] met its mark. Shafu was right. I was too reliant on a physical medium. Around one raised leg, I felt myself instinctively active [Mantle], only to take it down before the hit connected. I needed to focus.
That focus was disrupted as the fourth hit struck my rose, a heavier [Release] that caused the water within my tank to slosh around.
"[Don't hit so hard, Shafu!]" I cried out with [Telepathy], right as a fifth [Release] landed, hitting harder than before.
"That ain't how this works Yur! Difficulty breeds Experience! You'll thank me later!" she cackled, whirling around me.
I'd thank her later? Part of me was tempted to call forward a metal hand and slap her into a wall. My emotions were once again trying to get the better of me, even I was tempted to listen to their Siren's song.
I needed to focus. To learn and analyse. Instead of fumbling, I forced myself to stop moving, and to stop looking towards my flow. Bracing myself, I put the entirety of my attention on Shafu. On her flow.
I saw her Aera coalesce around a single metal hand. Watched it curl and rise off of her prosthetic in thin streams. The light flowed like water in a way I knew my Aera didn't, but I had to try and glean something from it. She fired the ball after wheeling close to me, and I resisted the urge to stick a leg out and trip her up as the shockwave exploded against my side. I felt my own Aura roll against the contact of her Aera, and began to move my own Aera once again.
"You haven't given up, have you?" Shafu jeered as she spun around the room, skidding by the corner as she turned once again. "C'mon, you're better than that!"
Ignoring the Darkling's jeering, I focused my intent. Raising one limb, I began to move my Aera in the same way she had. I knew my Aera was stiffer and less like flowing water, but that didn't change the action itself. I pushed against my Aera, trying to wiggle the end of it off of my leg, creating... a small, curled claw. Like a curled leg of light extending from the tip of my own mech.
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I'd made progress.
"You're not gonna block a shockwave with that dinky little thing Yur, c'mon!" Shafu laughed again, crouching low as she shot what must've been her seventh or eighth [Release] at the limb, jostling the Aera I'd worked to extend.
The second time I formed it, the 'limb' extended faster. It was no collection of streams like Shafu's Aera, but it was progress. I continued to wiggle it outwards, gradually creating a longer 'limb' of light. More freeform. I began to move my own leg back and forth, an instinctive decision that helped me to 'push' more of my Aera out of position and into the limb of light as it extended, becoming a long thread.
Then, I controlled it, reshaping the thread as I condensed the long thread into a thicker, shorter shape. A ball shape, one still connected to my Aera.
The water within my tank jostled as yet another [Release] smashed against me, but my focus had grown. I was close. The ball I'd formed didn't break despite the shake of my mech, and I continued to thicken and solidify it until... I pushed outwards.
Once the ball disconnected from my Aera, it felt strangely alien. I could feel and guide its direction, but adding more Aera to the shape was difficult. When I tried, I felt my Aura stretch out to try and reach it, yet I held myself back. The ball hovered inches from my limb, and I pushed it away through the intent from my Soul. It drifted forward, popping harmlessly with a tiny, near imperceptible shockwave. Those without a [Sensory Zone] like my own might not have even felt it.
"[I did it!]" I exclaimed, feeling rather unreasonably proud of myself for such a small feat that supposedly anyone could do. Still, it felt... nice.
Or at least it did, right up until another [Release] smacked against me.
"[You can stop hitting me now, Shafu. I made a [Release]!]" I called out.
"I must've missed it Yur, you'll have to do it again!" she laughed. "This exercise is so you can block my [Releases] with your own. You haven't done that a single time! Put some backbone into it!"
I wasn't certain I even had a backbone, but if that was what she wanted then so be it.
The third attempt was faster, stronger, and simpler. First I curled my Aera up into a long hook-like form. Then I bent and condensed it, like a strip of hot, malleable metal being hewn into shape. Thickened. Strengthened. Rounded out. The ball was more complete than the previous pitiful excuse for a technique had been, even if I wasn't confident that it would protect me.
Once Shafu skated around, I sent the ball forward. It collided with her own [Release] as the two exploded in mid-air. I could still feel the shockwave of Shafu's blast, but it had at least served to cushion the impact. Without wasting a single second, I began forming my next bubble. The window between Shafu's [Releases] was getting narrower. She was striking more and more frequently. Putting more pressure on me.
Raising three limbs at once, I crafted a trio of bubbles, preparing myself for an attack from whichever direction she chose. She fired, and so did I. The bubble collided with her Motion [Release], and I physically braced for the shockwave as the remnants brushed against me.
Over the next few minutes, I went through the motions. Bubble after bubble, forming more at a single time. Forming them faster than before, and thicker than ever. My technique was getting better, and although the power of her shockwaves were growing, so were the potency of my [Releases].
I couldn't help but wonder if this was how Sigura and Streiphen had learned [Release] or trained with one another. Or whether they had felt this kind of rush as they found a new way to exercise their Soul and grow. A mote of guilt bit at the edge of my mind, wishing I'd been spending more time training with them rather than pursuing my little pet project.
There would be time later. We could always train another day.
I fired a [Release] to match Shafu's, and the pair exploded in the centerpoint between us with a flash of green and red light. The light around Shafu's boots faded, and she skidded to a stop, raising the sleeve of one arm to wipe a bead of sweat from her forehead.
"That took a while. [Release] really didn't come easily to you, huh?" she asked, a crooked grin on her face as her chest rose and fell in an attempt to catch her breath.
"[No... I suppose not, but I understand the principles of it now. I appreciate the help, Shafu,]" I replied.
"Aw, stop, yer gonna make me blush," Shafu smiled, waving away my praise with a mechanical hand before launching herself to the tableside to take a seat. "You're not bad though. Your reaction times and situational awareness are really damn good, Yur."
With one hand, she gripped a trio of flavour cubes, throwing them my way with a "Here, you earned a treat," as I caught them with a flying metal hand. I popped them into the top of my tank, watching as the water was stained with colour.
"[You're not bad either for a Caster that sits on her butt the whole time,]" I responded with a smile in my voice as I eagerly awaited the taste of the cubes to hit.
"Guilty as charged!" Shafu cackled, grinning to herself as she stared upwards at the white light spilling down on top of us. "I make tools though, I'm not a field agent like you or your pals are. I do some stuff rarely for a change of pace, but not often."
While I couldn't help but be curious of what Shafu was like 'out in the field', she left me no window to ask, her eyes trailing down to my wrinkled pink body.
"[If you ever make the decision to do some field work, let us know. We'd be happy to help ease you back into it,]" I told her.
"I'll think about it, but your group's still a little green to be offering to chaperone for a long time member," she told me. "You got a lot better durin' that though, Yur. One step further from bein' that green of a Caster. You could try makin' an Artificial Soul now, I bet!"
"[Blaise mentioned that before. Could you give an explanation of what it is?]" I asked, silently praying to the Gods that Shafu could give me a better understanding of the concept than the [Witch] had.
"They're a Soul a single Caster can make. Not the full sorta one like when a creature has a kid, but it's more specialised, sorta like an echo of your personality. Aera's got an identity that reflects the user, and an Artificial Soul is just that Aera given a purpose or command," she explained as the taste finally arrived. I was filled with the relief of knowing that she had a better grasp on this than Blaise. "If you tried to make one and give it some orders with a telepathic link and bind it to yer Cat like someone with a Familiar might, then that could be what'cha need. Even if you wanted to leave it alone, it'd act in accordance with your subconscious."
Phrased like that... A memory came to mind. Back before we arrived at Divastyr's walls, we fought a trio of adventurers. One had been the Dwarf with the bronze Cheetah construct I'd done battle with. It had moved seemingly independent of its creators orders. Had that been using an 'Artificial Soul'?
I hadn't checked it with [Insight] before dismantling it, so there was no way to know.
"[My subconscious and I don't often get along, Shafu,]" I replied dryly. If my strange dreams and foreign feelings coming to the fore were any indication, I wasn't in the same position someone more 'stable' like Blaise was.
"Oh, right... Still, might be worth a shot. No harm in tryin', right?" Shafu asked, raising a blond eyebrow back at me.
"[Right, right, of course,]" I replied with a groan. Maybe I wouldn't be physically harmed, but the interpersonal damage I sustained from that stupid spice idea still hung over me. Trying something a little new, I felt my body rise and turn slightly as I had three floating hands gyrate in a slow motion. It wasn't the same as an eye roll, perhaps, but it felt nice to do. More expressive.
As proud of the action as I felt, Shafu laughed at it like I'd suddenly grown three heads. Thankfully I had a better way to express my distaste at that. All I needed for that particular method of expression was a single finger.
"I'll explain how to make an Artificial Soul, but you'll need to charge it before you send it on its merry way, Yur. Artificial Souls can't generate their own extra Aera, so you'll need to feed it first. 'Course, with the crazy ass Aera reserves you Chimeras've got, I'm sure you'll have no problem givin' it plenty of juice," Shafu smiled.
That sounded easy enough. My Aera reserves were more than that of the average person. One of the few positive tradeoffs for my form.
"[How should we start?]" I asked, feeling ready to exercise my Aera once again.
"First things first, we're gonna start that [Release] lesson from the top," Shafu grinned, hopping to her feet.
"[What?!? Why?]" I replied in shock, letting out a telepathic groan as my form deflated a little within my tank. "[Do we have to...?]"
"Gotta build up your control first! If you can start with makin' weak [Releases] and work your way up in strength like I did, then I'll get to teachin' you about Artificial Souls. All you did was shove all your energy into [Releases] right away, so we gotta go back to basics!" Shafu chirped, hopping from one foot to another as I saw red light coalesce around the backs of her boots' boosters. "You ready, Yur?"
"[Ready as I'll ever be, I suppose,]" I sighed back.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wracked with pangs swimming on the surface of my Soul, I raised a single metallic leg, sending a drop of Aera through the plastic panel housing Selarium next to my room. The metal door's lock clicked as the light reached the mechanism, sliding open as I let myself inside.
As happy as I was about Shafu's training session and the results that followed, I was relieved to be back in my room. I wasn't tired enough for sleep, but getting the chance to rest was something I'd been relishing on the way back.
Folding my legs beneath me as I sat within my collection of desks, I called forth a trio of hands to activate my Vox, causing the darkened screens above to light up with text.
Streiphen had been using the Vox earlier, presumably for research, but had dutifully remembered to log out of his account. It made the process of heading into the VoxNet as BrainInAJar a simple and painless process. I was glad to finally get the chance to unwind, and despite being a little magically stiff after all of that [Release] training and arcane limit testing, interfacing with the Vox was a simple task.
My thoughts wandered idly as text spilled onto the screens above, working to recommend specific posts or guide me to some interesting new Rabbit hole to delve into for the night. Further research on Leviathan or Fareel's situation could wait. Magic was the only thing on my mind.
My metallic fingers went to work as I felt a pang of guilt for not listening to the advice of that NervousWrecked person. Despite my comments and complaints, I'd ended up making an Artificial Soul after all. Wanting to at least give her a word of thanks for taking the time to advise me in the first place, I made my first stop the Alvaria Anvil Club. After the warm welcome they'd all given me, they deserved an update on my magical development.
Welcome to the Alvaria Anvil Club, BrainInAJar!
Despite the chat being empty for me as I arrived, it was quickly filled up with messages and posts that utterly buried any sign of my appearance.
[FateCrammer]: He obviously IS an Anvil dumbass!! Meat Father works with flesh but he STILL imbues it with magical properties! That makes him an [Enchanter] too, so he HAS to be an Anvil!
[violetzenboulder]: he makes familiars not artefacts... that makes him a crown caster not an anvil one... why are you arguing this???
[FateCrammer]: He makes flesh WEAPONS too! Weapons that aren't alive, which obviously also makes him an Anvil. People CAN have more than one Caster Classification you twat.
Whatever was going on in this chat, it was clear that these two users were in some sort of seriously heated debate. Every few seconds, both of them would send a new message arguing some point that I didn't want to get into or think about. Others were trying to speak too, but their messages were helplessly buried beneath the mountain of debates.
I wanted to give NervousWrecked my thanks, but I had no desire to see it get lost within whatever these two were talking about.
Leaving the Anvil Club chat, I instead went to a magnifying glass symbol up at the top before selecting 'NetTag'. Typing in the name 'NervousWrecked', I was greeted with a number of options as their Tag came up in the results. I wasn't so bold as to assume we were friends, so I left the 'Friend Request' option alone, going straight for 'Private Message'.
It was the same function that SteelSavant had used to contact me, and one I felt somewhat confident in using. I felt a little nervous about sending her a message at all in the event she didn't want the gratitude, but I tried to work up the nerve to speak up. Nervous as I was, those in the club the other day had been kind enough to give free advice to someone they didn't even know. That thought, and the fact that a 'NetTag' afforded me a level of anonymity I had nowhere else, was what allowed me to press onward.
[BrainInAJar]: Hello NervousWrecked. I'm not sure if you remember me, but I wish to extend my thanks for the advice you gave me in the Alvaria Anvil Club the other day. I decided to follow your advice and try making an Artificial Soul after all. I still have some sensory issues to work through, and it didn't form exactly like I intended, but I've made great progress.
Thank you for your help. Yours truly, Yuri.
Ugh. Dumb.
Yours truly, BrainInAJar.
Once fixing the mistake, I wavered over sending for a moment before pressing a trembling metal finger down on the key.
My project was coming along nicely. I'd been able to make the Cat act independently of my orders and even travel a distance beyond my zone. But... I hadn't been able to replicate 'sight'. The Cat too had its own sensory quirks, an issue I intended to fix as soon as I could.
Leaving the Private Message section, I decided to head back to the Alvaria Anvil Club, even if only for a moment, so I could close the tab.
[violetzenboulder]: hes not an anvil... thats like saying that Echidna chimera is an anvil caster...
[FateCrammed]: Don't try to compare a Human to a Chimera, they're totally different! She doesn't enchant flesh, she makes Familiars too!
[violetzenboulder]: she enchants the ground and spreads flesh over it, so she does... the heroes of sunshower confirmed that during their raid on her outpost...
[FateCrammed]: It's still part of her body, that doesn't COUNT!!! Meat Father's things are separate from him! They have their own independent effects!
With that, I closed the tab, not wanting to expose myself to whatever they'd been arguing about. I idly wondered if Sigura would like this sort of discourse, or at least taking part in it. She tended to be very persuasive and good at arguments, so maybe...
...
Something niggled at the back of my mind. Something familiar. I thought back to that inane argument as a specific phrase found its way back to the forefront of my awareness.
Heroes of Sunshower.
It took a few moments for me to put the name to faces, and I felt a deep, cold shiver run through my body as my hands went to work, typing the name into the search bar.
After a few moments of scrolling, I found it. A post from that AllEyes person talking about a specific event that these 'Heroes of Sunshower', an adventuring team, had taken part in some time ago.
The Dullahan of Addersbrook.
They were the adventurers that had been there the day Sigura and I had been captured.
My awareness scanned over the page, my mind feeling numb as I took in word after word. Finding pictures and names to go with those I'd met on that fateful day, I managed to piece the group's members together.
'Sarah', the [Healer] that had sent a pink pulse of healing energy through the ground. 'Leo', the orange haired [Rogue] that had disappeared and reappeared in flashes of motion. 'Gregor', the Satyr [Guardian] that had caught the Dullahan's blows. 'Bradley', the rapier wielding leader of the group.
'Dorian Derringer', the newest addition to the group, and the one who had discovered the Dullahan's weakness.
Reading about the event from a distance like this was strange. Surreal. As though I hadn't been there in the flesh in what felt like a lifetime ago. There was an offhanded mention of them receiving the 'Help of a local adventurer, Yuri Scalesmith', but I was glad there was no mention of Ragi, Cheeks, or Dairen. That could've been a bit much for me.
I began to trawl through the comments, and hearing about the group's most recent achievements and known appearances was strange. Gregor had left the team to join the 'Crossbreeds', a more famous adventuring team that prided itself on its racial diversity. Leo had become a 'Constellation', someone with a powerful blessing 'from the Gods' that supposedly upset the power balance of the team. Dorian Derringer had left too, going on to join a newly formed team, 'The Fables'.
They'd been going about their adventuring lives like normal. Like nothing had happened to us back in Addersbrook that might've caused grief, or hardship, or a feeling like they could've done more. Like we hadn't had everything taken from us.
Scrolling further down the older comments of the post, someone else talked about the night that had followed the event. A jolly celebration of their achievements and drinks bought by the man they'd saved. The man I'd helped to save. It was a party that I could've been there for had things been different. Maybe if I'd chosen to socialise around town, or said no to Sigura's proposition to hunt in the forest, or hadn't helped in the fight at all and potentially inflated Sigura's confidence in my abilities, or... or made any other choice...
It could've been me getting to be a part of that meal. Me getting praise and having the chance to meet experienced adventurers. It could've been my ticket to truly getting some funds and recognition in the profession, my chance to... to...
...
No. There was no point mulling over what could have been. I was being stupid and unreasonable. Despite my current state of being, I was extraordinarily lucky to have met the people I had. To be part of the Velvet Star. All that was important now was making the present and future the best they could be.
That should have been what I thought. Instead, I felt my hands go against my silent resolution, chasing a mote of curiosity in the comments attached.
Some had made the assumption that the man we'd saved had been a rich traveler. He'd been incredibly grateful after the Dullahan had been put down, treating them to a meal and a few rounds of drinks as thanks for protecting both him and the town. Back then, I'd never even been told the man's name. He'd been shellshocked and stunned, but had bounced back surprisingly well once the fight had been finished.
Now I had a name to put to the face. 'William Stepford'.
In an effort to sate my curiosity and pull my mind in a less painful direction, I decided to pursue information on the man. To know what kind of person I'd helped.
Despite forming an image in my head of the man being an altruistic [Merchant] or exotic traveller, there was a shocking lack of information about the man available on the VoxNet. An idle mention here, an offhand comment there. It wasn't until I found a single post dedicated solely to him that I got a good idea of who he was.
I clicked into the post, one labeled Weird diary found in Fairwind. Is this real or some sort of elaborate gag???
I skimmed through the introduction to the post, my awareness travelling over the bright screens as I absorbed line after line of text between [Thought Acceleration] and fast scrolling. The poster was someone living in an Azterian city further south than Addersbrook. I'd heard of Fairwind, and it wasn't far from the southern Selvania region if one travelled along the Road of Man.
Whoever this William Stepford was, the post mentioned that the diary was found 'post-mortem'. I felt a sting of regret pierce my core after hearing he'd supposedly died so soon after saving him, but there were many things a person could do within the space of a year or so. That didn't erase the joy he felt after we'd saved him. That helped to comfort me.
After a brief introduction, the full contents of the diary were laid out in front of me, and I began to read through them.
Today I arrived in Trallise. I found someone who seemed like a good target, but when I approached him, he got angry. He said I was faking. It’s unclear why he thinks I was faking, or even what he thinks I was faking, but he calmed down quickly enough when he said I stopped faking.
This is both upsetting and interesting. I think he’s an [Empath]. He consistently identified my emotions, specifically the deeper ones. Thinking about it again now, he likely just identified when those didn’t match my actions and called that faking. That would make sense, even if it’s not terribly well thought out. Does that mean he can’t identify surface emotions? That’s a weird specialty. It would explain why he doesn’t know what faking is, and that would explain why he's alone. That seems like something I’ll have to be careful with. But I shouldn’t make assumptions.
I think the only thing that changed before and after he started to tolerate me was my surface aligned well with the depths. I’ll continue with him, for now. I’ll be careful about this, and stay ready to bail. He’s a regular at this bar. I don’t know whether he knows to expect me tomorrow, and I can’t tell if he’s a genius or an idiot.
‘Faking’...? I wasn’t sure what to make of that, but I moved down to the next diary entry, one dated to the following day.
He expected me. Points towards “genius”.
[Insight] didn’t seem to show him as an [Empath], I didn’t get any impression of emotions or observation, anyway. Not even an abnormal amount of curiosity. And I didn’t see him cast anything. Evidently he has abilities to hide his magic. Makes sense, he seems like a private kind of guy. I’m not sure why it would have developed so much, though.
Gonna ask around tomorrow. Someone in this town knows something about this guy, I just have to figure out who.
Four days later. I continued scrolling, curiosity spurring me on while making me unable to look away. Why had this been found ‘post-mortem’? Had he been killed by the [Empath]? The thought lit an indignant fire in me, especially after we’d saved the man, and my focus sharpened further as I read through the diary faster and faster.
No one in this town knows anything about this guy.
I couldn’t find anyone who’d had a proper conversation with him since he was a teenager. Even the bartender doesn’t talk to him. He speaks to people when he needs to communicate. He doesn’t seem to understand the concept of conversation as entertainment. Or at least, he didn’t.
I’m making progress. It’s been really hard, I’ve had to figure some things out. The way I used to think about it, there are four different levels of honesty. First, you can be genuine. Second, you can be honest. Third, you can be duplicitous. Fourth, you can lie.
Most people don’t seem to understand that lying is an awful way to trick people. The point, obviously, is to get them to believe something false without making them think you’re untrustworthy. But you don’t have to say the falsehood. That’s just silly. Hence, duplicity. Be tricky, leave things out, tell half truths. Say things that obviously imply something false, but don’t say it.
This method is better in every conceivable way. Well, I suppose I shouldn’t say that. It’s a little harder. But if you can’t pull this off, then you probably can’t lie anyway. This is better for plausible deniability and it’s harder to catch, but it still looks awfully suspicious, and doesn’t tend to work on anyone smarter than a large rock. Golems included, mostly.
Now see this is where things get interesting. Everyone seems to assume that there’s no in between, that either you’re telling half truths, or you’re being honest. This technically is true, but when most people say 'honest', they mean 'genuine'. Genuinity is the default for most people. Honesty, though. That takes skill to pull off. This is what I do. I tell the truth, always. I hardly ever say or even imply anything untrue.
What...? The entry to the diary threw me for a loop. It felt different to the other entries, but I wasted no time pondering it. Instead, I keep reading.
Nothing much has happened the last few days. But tonight we had an argument.
I don’t know why, to be honest. It was dumb. I shouldn’t have engaged like that. If I’d gotten him really angry, the whole thing would be over. I guess I just figured at some point he’d push the “faker” point anyway.
I had to explain to him that it isn’t faking. It’s just intentionality. I don’t know how he could possibly confuse the two, really. He said that if you had to force yourself to express your emotions - “force”, as though it were still effort for me - then that meant it was always fake, and was therefore lying. Which is just… ugh.
He also said that this “faking” isn’t ever necessary. Honestly, I kinda felt sorry for him, then. That’s obviously why he’s alone, but he’s so determined to always be honest and open, he doesn’t bother to learn how to show his emotions. As if that weren’t a learned skill for everyone. I’m just better at it than everyone else. I can hardly be blamed for that. I could lie if I wanted, and I’d be amazing at it, but I don’t. I only show people emotions that I’m actually feeling.
I think I made headway, but he didn’t quite come around. He ended up conceding that he could be doing more to properly try and communicate with people, but he still has this... irrational revulsion towards learning how to express himself. Ridiculous.
I might extend the plan a little. He’s not a bad guy, he’s just horribly misguided about certain things. I might wanna take a little longer to get him to come around. And I also wanna get him used to having a friend, so he’ll know what he’ll be missing.
The more I read, the colder my blood became. What had happened between him and this other man?
As much as I didn’t want my mind to fixate on the details, it disobeyed my orders and did so regardless, slotting piece after piece together.
His strange reactions in the town made sense now. I wished they hadn't. The genuine shock after speaking to me when his 'faking' had failed him. The sudden, explosive return to joy and relief.
I didn’t realize how long it had been since I last wrote here. I guess I just kinda lost track. The plan is progressing fine. Normally I’d have finished up by now, but I think I’ll carry it on a little more. This one is fun.
Then, for over a month, there were almost nothing but blank entries, broken only by a single "The show goes on," much further down. It felt like a placeholder. Something he'd only put in to fill space. Or to waste time. To distract himself.
He kissed me. By the Six, he kissed me. I don’t understand it. I guess he… thought more of me than a friendship. And gods DAMN it I liked it. I can’t… I don’t know what I’m feeling right now except confusion.
I managed to keep the plan going, somehow. I guess he was expecting me to be confused and surprised anyway. I managed to minimize those reactions on my face, along with the fear. He thought it was just the normal hesitation people have when they’re… well, that.
I mean, we’ve been spending every day together for like… gods, like a month and a half now. I guess it kinda makes sense.
And GODS FUCKING DAMMIT I liked it. I got sucked in. I was an idiot. He’s smart and funny and he can always tell what I’m thinking and I can always tell what he’s thinking and it’s just… so… nice. It’s nice. We understand each other, better than anyone else ever understood us.
I don’t know how to deal with this. I don’t know what to do. Maybe I should… abandon the plan. I don’t… I’m frightened of what will happen if I do. If I… let myself get carried away.
We’ll see what happens. I need sleep.
The more I read, the more I seriously wished I'd never asked for a Vox at all. That I'd just had a better handle on my curiosity. The more I read, the colder my blood began to turn. The next day.
I leveled last night. Acting normal through all that must’ve given me a lot of Experience.
The superstitious part of my brain says it was fate. I don’t know about that, but in any case, it reminded me who I am. I am a level sixty-five [Actor]. And I cannot abandon my craft.
The show must go on. With the way I left him last night, he’ll be worrying about if he overstepped. Coming back immediately could come across as unrealistic, so I’ll let him stew for today while I rehearse.
I will update when the show is done.
The next... The next day.
It’s done.
I didn’t enjoy it.
Fuck, I don’t feel like writing this. But I’m gonna want to remember how it felt.
This is taking way too long to write. I keep staring at the page without actually writing anything. Fuck.
I killed him. Like I kill everyone. I needed his reaction. I invited him back to my hotel room. I tortured him. And I killed him. He died believing he was right about me faking everything. But it’s not faking, it’s acting. He never understood the fucking difference. Acting, good acting, is never fake. I never lied to him. I never faked anything. I showed him the emotions I was actually feeling. And it wasn’t lying that I didn’t show him some things, that’s just keeping a secret and everyone keeps secrets. Everyone.
He had a beautiful reaction. I know him better now that I’ve done this, because I saw how he looks LOOKED when he was his most upset and angry and scared. This is what I wanted. I enjoyed this. I did enjoy it. I always do. And maybe I’ll never talk to him again or see his face again or wake up feeling shitty and have him immediately know that I’m feeling shitty and buy me a drink. But it was worth it. It was worth it. It was worth it. The show must go on.
More blank entries. Nearly a full month of nothing. I'd started to wonder if I'd come to the end of this grisly, unnerving tale.
Part of me wished the poster hadn't sent this at all. I regretted reading through every word of it, but I couldn't turn away. I just couldn't.
Then I came across one final entry.
He was here. Right here, I saw him. He’s dead, he’s fucking dead again.
He came back as a Dullahan. He wanted to kill me. He pointed directly at me, I know it was him. I couldn’t run because there was a crowd all standing to defend this dickwad with shit for brains that tripped and hit his head. I couldn’t just go, that would draw attention to me and everyone would know Frederick was after me. Fucking altruistic bastards.
The Heroes of Sunshower were here. For a second it was looking like they’d lose. I was hoping they would. I had to talk to him. But of course I fucking couldn’t. They had some new brat with them. He said gold killed Dullahans or some shit.
I made a mistake in front of some Varani girl. She'd meddled in their fight, and had asked me if I was alright before I was ready. I'd let the show down for a brief moment. I won't make that same mistake again. Ever again.
If he knew how Dullahans worked, he probably also knew that Freddy was out for revenge. So I did what I had to to distract him. Asked his name, called him the Hero of Addersbrook. Fucking killed me to praise the little son of a bitch so much, but I can’t be exposed. Bought him drinks ‘til he wouldn’t be able to think about it anymore.
I don’t know what to do now.
This is the person I saved. The one I helped. The one the Heroes of Sunshower risked their lives to protect. I felt sick, but I couldn't throw up.
Maybe we should've let him die in the first place and given the Dullahan his revenge. No... there was no way of knowing what kind of person he'd been behind that mask. Had it been the right decision to...
I felt cold. Numb.
At the very bottom of the diary was the final picture, one that had none of the man's curled, refined handwriting style.
This book has been discovered by the Fairwind City Watch in a hotel room. It was being used by one William Stepford, who has committed suicide by hanging. We have failed in locating any next of kin. As such, this book will be kept in the Fairwind Public Library. May his Soul rest in peace.
I wanted to hear more about Dorian Derringer. About the Heroes. Part of me was afraid of what I'd find, but the rest wanted to get the thoughts of that Human as far away from my mind as possible.
I logged out.
For several long minutes, I sat in the middle of my water filled tank, awareness staring directly at the screens that prompted me to log in.
How could I get my mind off of this...?
Go for a walk? No. I didn't have the energy or will to get up. Have some flavour cubes? No. I didn't want to taint the taste with my bad state of mind. Ask for help?
...
Help with learning more about the Heroes? I supposed that asking others to help research them could result in valuable information without needing to expose myself to any other details that wouldn't be nearly as well received.
Instead of logging back in, the thought reminded me of another job I had left undone. I brought the golden arrow down to the 'REGISTER' box, bringing up the NetTag creation page from the first time I'd booted the Vox up. This time, the registration was a quick and seamless process. I understood what I was doing, and my hands went far faster than before. I was glad for something to put my mind to, something to focus on that wasn't... that. In almost no time at all, I hit 'COMPLETE'.
Welcome, Homebound!
A new account. My 'work' account, one where I lost the veil of anonymity and fully embraced the moniker I'd chosen as part of the Velvet Star. The me of the present.
Going to the search section at the top of the screen once again, there were two names I searched and sent a 'Friend Request' to, one after another.
The first was 'Shambles', a NetTag I'd been asked to add when the topic of what I'd been searching recently had come up during my earlier training session with Shafu. She'd been a little disappointed I hadn't found or searched for anything 'too juicy', even if the Alvaria Anvil Club had caught her interest. Today's unfortunate find might be something more conversation worthy, even if I doubted I'd have the strength to bring it up.
The second was 'GreyLantern', the NetTag of that Arielle Rachneve Human we'd met back at Nastrega earlier today. I'd completely forgotten about it until now, but...
She'd offered to help in any way she could. Asking her to do a bit of research wouldn't even be that much of a difficult request, would it? There was no problem with asking her to look up a few adventurers from the south, and I didn't need to give any information I didn't need to. I could just ask her to... to...
No. Feeling my fingers move to a 'Private Message', I canceled out of the menu, putting me back on the front page.
I couldn't do that. That could make things even worse. I wasn't thinking straight. What if she connected the dots and found out where I used to live? She might know my name and be able to connect the dots on her own, but why take the risk? I didn't want her to contact others from Addersbrook or say something incriminating by accident. I barely knew the woman, and I wasn't ready to trust her, or... or anyone else with this. Not yet.
I was letting my thoughts run away with me. My emotions were being a serious pain right now, working overtime to get in the way of my thought process. I... I needed to shut them out and take some time to calm down.
My awareness slowly rose back to the screen above, seeing the golden arrow sit next to 'Private Message'. Should I say anything? Even an introduction or a thanks for the offered help would be better than a 'Friend Request' without even a word.
I logged out of Homebound, and felt my hands slowly drift above the keyboard, about to bring me back into BrainInAJar.
I stopped again, running out of the mental energy and enthusiasm to even do that much. I hadn't been on the Vox for long, but I felt exhausted. Maybe now was the time to get some sleep. I'd... I'd feel better in the morning. Past experiences had proven that true, even if I didn't feel that way.
Turning the Vox off, I sat in silence for several long minutes, feeling my mind begin to drift into a haze until-
The sun-like symbol above my door lit up with a golden glow as a rectangular [Light Screen] formed on the front.
"Homebound? Homebound, are you still up?" came the voice of Comnica from the floating Spell. The Machina's silver skin and golden eyes were visible on the front of the thin rectangle.
"[Yes... I'm trying to get to sleep, but...]" I didn't finish.
"I... wanted to pass on the message that the Don has another mission ready for your team, and the meeting for it will be tomorrow. It's an important one, and I saw your Vox was active until only a few minutes ago," she replied. Had it really only been a few minutes since I'd gotten off? It felt far longer. "Are you feeling alright? You sound strange."
Her words had grown softer after the message had been delivered. Even if I was in no mood to be excited for a mission, I could at least take solace in the knowledge I'd have work tomorrow to help distract me.
"[I'm fine. Thank you for your concern, Comnica,]" I replied wearily.
"If you're sure... I can come over if you need to talk, or I could find Sigura if-"
"[No. I'm fine. Thank you, Screen,]" I replied, my tone stiffer than it had been a moment ago.
"Right... That's all I needed to say. Thank you for your continued patience and good work, Homebound. Good night." she replied, her own tone lacking the softness she'd exhibited a moment ago.
"[Goodnight, Screen,]" I replied to empty space as the room went dark once again, the golden [Light Screen] blinking out of existence.
I spent a while trying to get back to sleep after that. As hazy as my mind got, it took far too long to drift off than I would have liked.
Far, far too long.