"You're free to go."
Relief washed through me like a tide, one that carried away all the lingering worries that had been sitting at the back of my mind.
The white light coming from the infirmary's ceiling on my exposed body felt a little warmer now. Or maybe I just wasn't tensing up as much, and was willing to let that heat in. It helped that I wasn't alone. My team was here with me.
Aquamarine, Velvet Star's Malacanth [Doctor], stepped down off the side of my mech, using the prehensile metal tail extending from the waist of her Half Elven host body to steady herself. Her platform shoes clacked and lightly squelched against the ground, still damp from being so close to my body.
Her eyes lost the bright blue glow of [Insight] as she walked towards her clean countertop, scribbling notes onto a clipboard that I decided not to pry into.
Streiphen, who was sitting on the bed to my right, was beaming. His body was still battered and bruised, one covered in bandages and plasters, yet it didn't do anything to hide the bright smile across his face. The swelling from the punch he'd taken from Venison still hadn't died down as much as I would have liked, yet not even that could dampen the raw joy and relief his expression released.
Sigura was leaning against the end of the bed Streiphen was sitting on. While the boy kicked his feet back and forth in place, Sigura's tail swayed behind her, hovering just above the bed sheets. She had her own share of cuts and bruises, but compared to Streiphen, she looked as though she was in the prime of her life. Her arms were crossed, and the grin on her face directed towards me held an implicit message.
'I knew you'd be fine. You're one of us.'
Aquamarine brushed some of the short black hair out from in front of her eyes, tucking it back behind her host's ears as she laid the clipboard down. Standing next to her was Bubblegum, who was in the process of using a mortar and pestle.
The reddish pink haired [Witch] had the sleeves of her purple tiled uniform shirt rolled up. Her hands were covered in red and blue juice, dripping from her hands even as she groaned in exertion. A grey, glowing goo had covered the bottom of the container, and was now being mixed into a collection of fruit juices she was grinding together with a pestle. Her [Mantle] was active, a bright pink glow that enveloped her whole body. I didn't think she had anything to worry about when it came to crushing fruit that would warrant the protection, but I wasn't going to start telling her how to do her job.
The little pink Cat-like Familiar was sitting in the oversized mortar, squishing the smaller berries beneath its paws, contributing in some small way to its master's laborious task. The side of the mortar was adorned with a purple, stylised 'J'. As simple as the task seemed, she was performing it with more vigor and energy than I'd expected someone like her could muster.
On the bed across from Sigura and Streiphen, Fareel was laying on his back, head hanging off the edge. His face was upside down, yet his eyes drifted lazily between me and the working [Witch].
"We knew she'd be fine, anyway," Sigura shrugged, still grinning as she lay back against the soft sheet covers. "It was only a matter of time until she got better. Same for the pipsqueak."
Aquamarine didn't respond for a moment, putting the clipboard away into a filing compartment before walking back over to the operating table directly in front of me. The metal tail coiled around her stomach before she hopped up, sitting down at the edge, her short legs hanging over the side.
"We still don't know much about the workings of Yuri's body, Nekari. My specialties lie in understanding the physical form, but hers relies almost entirely on Skills and magic to operate," she responded to Sigura, before turning her eyes back onto me.
"When it comes to Chimeras, the Soul often comes before the body. When those people in the organisation craft a Chimera with unconventional body types like yours, they use them exclusively as a shell to contain whatever changes to the Soul they've done. If we examine your Soul more thoroughly, we can use that to learn more about your body and physical needs."
"And?" Sigura asked, her grin faltering as her eyes drifted up to the ceiling above. "That doesn't tell us anything concrete, Doc."
"I'm no [Soul Doctor], Yuri, but I've had some time to consider how to advise you," Aquamarine told me, leaning forward while linking both hands in front of her stomach and tail. "I won't pry into your past or education, but I wish to make all of this perfectly clear. The 'Soul' is a spiritual organ made of different sections. You've probably been told to death that it represents our 'identity', a manifestation of who we are. What that means is that the Soul is divided into a number of 'aspects', each of which corresponds to another aspect of the 'self'."
Streiphen's smile dimmed, his eyes becoming more focused and attentive. As the Malacanth took a pause, the only sound in the room was the squishing of fruit, and the labored grunting of the [Witch] at work.
"These 'Aspects of the Soul' all work to keep each other in check, Yuri. They ensure that the others remain relatively equal to one another, and create a sense of 'balance' in the Soul. When that balance is disturbed or altered, one can expect change and magical anomalies."
Sigura's brow furrowed, and she sat up from the bed, eyes sharp and locked onto the [Doctor].
"You saying Yuri's in danger of these 'anomalies'? What're we talking about here? Failed spellcasting? Soulburn?"
I shivered at the thought. I'd experienced enough Soulburn already, and had no wish to end up with it again. The thought of even my spellcasting or Skills being affected was terrifying. Being stripped of all my agency and ability to move would be... crippling.
"When a living creature 'dies', the Soul lives on," Aquamarine continued. "The 'Arcane Stand', or aspect of the Soul that governs one's connection to the body, loses its anchor. Without a body to connect itself to, the Stand shrivels up and deteriorates. The Soul will try to mutate in an attempt to protect itself as the rest of the aspects grow and shift to accommodate the new space. The Soul seeks balance above all else. If it can't deal with the shift, then it'll try to create a new body for itself in the event that it doesn't find a Border in time, which leads to 'Undeath'. Spirits that create their own bodies to compensate, or Undead that inhabit a 'dead' one."
"That so...?" Sigura asked, all enthusiasm drained from her voice, eyes half-lidded. "And what's that have to do with us?"
"It has everything to do with you," Aquamarine responded coolly, turning her eyes back towards the Half Nekari. "Chimeras are creatures that have had their Souls tampered with, and until we know what type of Soul or balance Yuri has, she shouldn't be exerting herself too much. If those Chimera people didn't do their work properly, the slightest bit of damage to her Soul structure could lead to a knock-on effect, causing serious changes in her abilities and identity. The different Racial Classifications have many unique 'balances'. Spirits like Ghosts and Slimes would be completely different to-"
The doors to the infirmary swung open with force. The sound of them smacking against the walls drowned out that of Aquamarine's voice and Bubblegum's grunting. The figure standing in the doorway winced before gingerly stepping towards us.
"Sorry about the doors..." Toya spoke, his deep blue Slime-like skin tinged a slightly paler shade as he sheepishly joined the group. "I was worried I missed the diagnosis. Is everything alright?"
Sigura looked distinctly unimpressed by the man's less than punctual arrival, an expression counterbalanced by Streiphen's beaming smile.
"Thank you for coming, Mr. Toya! Everything's okay!"
Toya's shoulders slumped with relief. He gave Streiphen a nod of affirmation as he planted himself down on the end of the bed next to Fareel. For a moment, I couldn't tell if the Fishfolk was surprised or angry at the Slime, but no, he was just amused. It was hard to tell what his expression was supposed to mean at the best of times. His head being upside down wasn't helping.
"[It's fine, Toya,]" I told him, eager to get back to learning. "[Please, continue. What else should I be looking out for?]"
Bubblegum turned, giving Toya a quick wave with a juice stained hand before turning back to his work. Aquamarine said nothing until the front doors to the infirmary slowly swung back to their state of normalcy. Once the audible click of the inner workings rang out, she continued.
"What I'm trying to say is that you shouldn't stress yourself too much. Any of you," she told me, before casting her gaze around at the rest of my team. "Our group is uniquely equipped to handle individuals with unusual Soul structures, but that isn't something you should take for granted. You know that 'Soulburn' is the result of the Soul's protective surface or 'Aura', being weakened from overuse, don't you? That it causes magic effects to backlash onto the user? Those 'headaches' you mentioned are a common drawback for Mental Magic users, Yuri. If you keep pushing yourself like you have, you could suffer further damage, damage that would be even harder to treat for you than others because of the delicate nature of your Soul."
"She can handle a migraine," Sigura huffed.
"Don't underestimate the damage Soulburn can cause," Aquamarine cautioned, narrowing her eyes at the Half Nekari. "If one pushes themselves beyond the surface level damage, you could be looking at serious, potentially permanent damage. For someone using Mental Magic, that could mean processing issues, memory degradation, or Aera Dysphoria. This is not something any of you can afford to take lightly."
Heh, as if I wasn't already dealing with 'memory degradation'. Between those strange dreams that didn't belong to me, and the dissonance between my memories and thoughts, I was already experiencing no shortage of 'backlash'. Not that I wanted more damage, of course, but... I'd toughened up. I could handle this.
"Potions and substances like Boost can cause it too, if your Soul is in a sensitive state," Aquamarine told me, her expression softening. "They amplify the Soul, but they don't always affect all aspects equally. Arcane Mutations and other magical afflictions are common when one disrespects the dangers of magic from outside sources. If you wish to continue working with us and have a stable magical ability, you must exercise caution."
Sigura tensed at the mention of Boost, hands clenching up.
"Yuri wouldn't touch that shit anyway. What do you take us for?" Sigura spat. The words did nothing to ease my worries. She was starting to work herself into a mood. We shouldn't stay here much longer.
"I'm sure I can trust in your judgement," Aquamarine responded, looking away. "I just wish to make it clear that without my approval, you should keep yourselves away from magical substances, even in an emergency."
The thought that even something like potions could cause negative effects was troubling. If nothing else, at least we wouldn't need to worry about one of our members attempting to use Boost. We'd all been made fully aware of the dangers, now, if Sigura's violent reactions hadn't been enough of a hint before.
"With forms and Souls like yours," the [Doctor] spoke, casting her gaze around the room at all of us. "There's no telling what could happen to you if your Souls had a negative reaction."
Aquamarine sighed, her eyes shutting as her head drooped lazily forward.
"I didn't intend to leave you on such a somber note or put any of you in a foul mood, but this is the curse of my job. It's important that you understand the risks and dangers that come with being a Caster. Worse still, a Caster and a Chimera."
My [Telekinesis] began to work its way outwards from my body, sensing and spreading through the metal beneath me. An internal network of steel controlled by the flexing of my Soul, connecting it to whatever senses and functions this form I still knew so little about had. Unfolding my legs, I began to rise to my feet, the clicking of the joints in my legs serving as the signal for the others to do the same.
"Yeah, sure. Letting us down real gentle, huh, Doc? Whatever. Let's... let's get going." Sigura grumbled, glancing at me for just a moment before pulling her eyes away. As her shoes touched the floor and she began to walk towards the exit, the harsh look lingering in her eyes was pointed towards a new target.
"Thanks for joining us, Jiggles," Sigura murmured sarcastically, spite laced in every word. "Better late than never."
Toya's shoulders regained the tension they'd been holding prior to entering the infirmary, undoing whatever modicum of relaxation he'd managed to secure after hearing that Streiphen and I were fine. For the moment, anyway.
Leaving the Malacanth [Doctor] and the groaning [Witch] assistant behind, the five of us stepped out of the infirmary, and through the halls of the Velvet Star base. The only sound around us came from me, the clicking of my metallic legs against the stone floor.
Streiphen's eyes drifted between Sigura and Toya. He'd noticed the tension as much as I had, but I worried that he wouldn't make the right decision. I didn't want to say anything to upset the boy, but I knew that when Sigura was... in a mood, it was best to say nothing. To leave her to let whatever feelings were running through her head to run their course. After that, she'd be as good as new.
The group of us ascended the staircase back up to the first floor, with Fareel in the lead. The white light from the ceiling illuminated the various portraits, environmental pieces, and paintings hanging on the walls around us.
"I... Um... I'm glad we're all back together again! Team Equinox, reunited!" Streiphen chirped. I suspected he'd endured as much of the heavy air between us as he could. I knew he wasn't in a great state of mind with his injuries and worries of his own, but I wished he'd held on.
"Right..." Toya muttered, his shoulders sagging. "A team."
If I could have gulped with this form, I would have. The way he said that...
"If you have something to say, then spit it out, Jiggles," Sigura spoke, her voice low and tone dangerous.
As much as I hoped that Toya would back down and not speak about whatever was on his mind, he didn't falter.
"It... it doesn't feel like we're a team, Sunburst," he replied, looking away while rubbing one arm with the other. "We fought that... that Trainmech guy together, but... you all got hurt without us. You ended up in a fight without Fareel or I, and got injured."
We'd been put in a bad spot. The enemy had cornered us in a location we hadn't expected conflict in. Maybe we should have, on some level, but he was being unreasonable.
"Yeah?" Sigura said, rolling her eyes. "Fareel seems fine with it. Streiphen's healing up, and Yuri'll do just fine. And you'd know all of that if you were here on time."
Streiphen's shoulders hunched up, regret already seeping into his eyes. Fareel glanced at Streiphen for a moment before tearing his eyes away.
"I... I'm sorry," he muttered, shutting his eyes as we continued to walk, his face falling down towards the floor. "I... I was thinking, and I lost track of time. That was my fault."
As if she hadn't heard a word he'd said, Sigura looked between Streiphen, Fareel, and I, before shrugging her shoulders.
"Tough crowd," she muttered back. "Whatever. We didn't have a choice, and we were approached first. Nothing we could do about it."
"It... That was dangerous," Toya responded, looking away. "Was there no way you could have called for help? Adventurers? The Watch? The Velvet Star, even? I know... I know the Don doesn't want Equinox connected to his group yet, but you needed the help."
"You weren't there, Jiggles, you don't get to criticise our damn decisions if you didn't help," Sigura growled, beginning to speed up her walking as she passed Fareel out. "We were safe as a group of three, alright? We won. We got injured, fine, but how're we supposed to know those shitty Pigs would attack us in broad daylight with a crowd around, huh? We're not precogs, we can't just plan around everything."
"It's... not just about that," Toya responded, his voice rising in volume. Rising in a dangerous way that only built upon the sense of dread within me. "If we were part of a proper group that cared for our well being and not just our reputation, maybe we would have had actual support. If... if we were part of a Guild, you wouldn't have had to fight that alone."
Streiphen shivered, his face adopting a shadow of a smile that not even a Doll would have believed was real.
"No, no!" Streiphen exclaimed, turning to look in Toya's direction. "This group does care about us, Mr. Toya! They healed us, and gave us things, and money, and they..."
Sigura's ears perked up, her head darting to the side. For a moment, her eyes were filled with rage, a look of sheer, concentrated focus. She swung an arm through the air, swiping at the space next to her head, as if brushing dust off her shoulder. Toya flinched from the motion, looking from the panicked child to her.
"They didn't protect us or... or offer any substantial aid when we needed it... How can we be sure they'll help us in a truly dangerous situation? When it really counts?" Toya continued, looking between Streiphen and Sigura, now.
Sigura stopped.
The tapping of my legs against the hard floor stopped too, as our group paused in place. An ominous feeling dug its roots deep into my body. My [Telekinesis] spread further through me, gripping the ingot of Lyridium pulsing inside me like a beating heart. I began to mold the gleaming emerald metal, working to shake off the deep, visceral anxiety permeating my every thought.
"We've got a roof over our heads, Jiggles," Sigura began, her voice low. "They didn't ask any questions, either. They saw we were strong, and accepted that, y'know? They're shady as shit, sure, but so are we!"
She whirled, looking towards Toya with eyes that were practically ablaze, a look that caused the man to shrink back with shock. Instinctively, the screws holding my compartment in place began to spin and undo themselves.
Sigura was about to explode.
"We're monsters, Toya! We sure as shit ain't here legally! We snuck into this damn city through the sewers. We don't have ID, or qualifications, or anything. As far as the law or this country's records are concerned, we don't exist!"
Streiphen, Toya, and Fareel all turned to look towards Sigura, their expressions all warped with shock.
"We were trapped squatting in a fuckin' abandoned shopping center, foraging and forced to steal just to survive! Now we have actual work that can get us somewhere, and you want to just ignore all that? We have the chance to earn money, to get respect and connections, and actually go somewhere with ourselves, and you're trying to take the damn moral high ground! I don't care if the bastard running this place is a Demon or an evil fuckin' monster in disguise! We all want to be here, and not out there crawling in the dirt scrounging for food when we could be making a real difference! You're the only one with a problem, and you didn't even get caught in this fuckin' mess! Stop complaining if you weren't even involved in the damn fight, and start acting like a member of this team!"
When Sigura's fire went out, the world fell into silence. Her voice had echoed down the hall, but soon enough, even that died away. We could look up, now. The worst of her anger had been burned up and used. From here... things would hopefully be manageable.
I had expected this outcome, but the others hadn't. I had seen Sigura blow up in anger before. Our old team had experienced similar outbursts, but the new one was still learning and adapting.
Everyone was silent and still. Nobody else knew what to say, and I kept my mouth shut. If we let this issue die, then... then we might still make it out unscathed.
Toya took the first step, moving while everyone else was still.
"Yeah..." he murmured, barely loud enough for Sigura to hear, his head down. "You're right. I suppose I'm the only one that has a problem with all this. I... I need to go on a walk."
Toya began to speed up, even as Streiphen's eyes widened. He moved to step forward, but was blocked by a metal plate hovering in front of him. He turned, starry eyes beginning to water as they turned towards my exposed, dripping form.
"We need to talk to him, Miss Yuri! We shouldn't-"
"[We need to give him space, Streiphen]" I told Streiphen, my voice as hard and calm as I could make it. "[This sort of thing has happened before. It's best for everyone if we let this go and give him space. He'll... he'll come back feeling better.]"
I knew that Toya had issues with the Velvet Star. No... not with the Star themselves, but with the idea that we were working with criminals. When we became Chimeras, we lost the ability to be picky. We didn't have the same choices and opportunities that other Casters had. We needed to take what we could get, and they had been good to us.
This was a stroke of good luck, even if it had its downsides.
The group went silent. Nobody knew what to say, or whether they should speak at all. The silence that was beginning to permeate the air like a thick, choking fog was broken by that of a soft footfall as Sigura began to walk once again. Her gait had slowed, lacking all of the energy and gravitas it usually had.
The sound of further footfalls and the clicking of metal and stone followed it shortly after as the remains of Equinox began to move once again.
I didn't want to say anything, but... this was a team. We couldn't let something like this just pass us by and expect everything to go back to normal. This wasn't something we could simply conceal and pretend didn't happen. As much as I didn't want to say anything, I'd seen how a lack of team cohesion could break teams apart. How Ragi and Nuts abandoned Sigura, Dairen and I. It was a wiser decision for them to stay behind, and I didn't blame them for making that decision, but... Even if a team is making a poor choice, everyone should make that choice as a team, not as individuals.
Swallowing my fears, the mental hand of my [Telepathy] reached out to Sigura, even if my words were reluctant to come forward and make contact.
"[I... I think that... we shouldn't have... You should apolo-]"
The mental stuttering was abruptly torn apart by the sound of a low growl.
"I know."
The words came so quietly, and with such a surprising amount of anger and regret, that part of me felt guilty for even doubting her. With her head hanging low, Sigura led us to a pair of doors crafted from lighter wood. Plainer, more casual looking. They were simple, and a design lacking complication was exactly what our team wanted to see right now.
Sigura pushed the doors open, leading us into the Velvet Star's cafeteria.
This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.
It was a spacious hall, one with many long, bright purple benches that were sparsely occupied. Despite being little more than a mess hall, it was well kept. Clean floors devoid of food scraps and dust, empty bins that had been recently relieved of their vile waste, and a number of Vending Boxes by the wall next to the entrance. The contents were plastic packets of food and metal cans, which felt rather redundant given where we were.
Sigura led the way to the right, heading towards what was easily the nicest part of the entire cafeteria. The right wall consisted entirely of windows, massive panes of glass that let natural light drift into the hall, all of which went from ceiling to floor. The artificial white lights that usually permeated every corridor and room of the base were deactivated here, left off in favour of the sun's glow. Part of me felt upset that I hadn't spotted this the first time I'd let my awareness drift into the cafeteria, back during our first time here.
The space beyond was a square enclosure, one surrounded on all sides by the base's purple walls and a glass ceiling above. Within was a verdant sea of green, a garden full of plants and fruit. Unlike the decorative arrangements lining the paths at the complex's entrance, these plants weren't arranged in any way that was designed to catch the eye. Many of the plants and fruit exuded a soft glow, or an otherworldly sheen, a subtle indication that they possessed some form of Charged Aera. They were magical.
Perhaps they were used for the creation of medicines or potions by whatever group managed alchemy in the organisation. Some of the plants curled up against the walls and window, planting their bulbs and heads against the glass as if vying for our attention. It was a sight that helped to ease the nerves that had been clawing at me.
Would it have been strange to ask if I could plant some of my Viridian Hats here? I knew they weren't necessarily a magical or even particularly useful plant, but I wanted them to sit among this controlled paradise. It was a strange urge, but there wouldn't be a problem with asking, would there? It would have been nice to look in at the garden and think; My plant is in there. It's a part of all this.
Something felt a little off, looking out at the garden, even if I couldn't pin down what that 'something' was.
Letting my awareness drift from the emerald haven next to our benches, I took one more glance around the cafeteria. There were others here, glancing in our direction while making idle conversation. I didn't recognise any of them, but I could tell they were looking thanks to my [Sensory Zone] peeking past their V-shaped violet visors. I said nothing. I wasn't in the mood for socialising anyway, and I could tell my team weren't, either.
At the back of the cafeteria was a long, glass counter. Meats, fruits, and other meals sat behind it, steaming and warm. Menus on blackboards sat above the display, with glowing, colourful chalk used to advertise the cafeteria's meals and prices, all of it written in a clear, legible font, one lacking the typical class and finesse I'd seen elsewhere. It was relaxing to look at, in truth.
As if it was the universe's way of taking away any sort of relaxation I might have been able to get from something as simple as a colourful, pleasant looking menu, my attention drifted to the person in charge.
The person standing right behind the counter of the cafeteria was an Orc.
They were a large, plump man with light reddish fur all along their body, broken only by a rebellious streak of bright purple stretching from their forehead and down along their back. The red-eyed Orc was hard at work, directing a number of Dolls all wearing the standard uniform and aprons around a kitchen as they worked to prepare the next meals. The Orc wore a black apron over his front, one with a familiar face adorning it. The words 'Bubblegum Pink' blanketed the stomach of the apron, with the [Witch's] smiling, winking face sitting just above it. Next to the face itself was a set of squiggled lines written on in a pink marker. Part of me wanted to be generous and presume it was a signature, and not a strange stain left behind by a bright sauce he'd accidentally spilled.
The man seemed gruff, but not antagonistic. He ordered the Dolls around with a serious note in his voice, but not one that I could reasonably peg as 'aggressive', even if part of me wanted to. It would have been easy to think of him as another 'angry, stubborn Orc', one similar to those that had led to the air of tension currently hanging over our table. As much as my instincts told me that talking to him would be painful and pointless, and that he wasn't going to be different to the others, I knew that was a dangerous way to think.
He was an Orc, like our enemies, but he was also an employee. I didn't know whether he was anything more than a [Chef] or [Cook], but he was as much a part of the Velvet Star as I was. I couldn't let myself paint him with the same brush as I had those in the Big Tooth group.
The others had seen him too. Sigura wore a hard look, even if her expression was pained. Streiphen tried to avoid looking at him at all. The boy's eyes were locked on the window, and hadn't moved from the garden since we'd walked in here. Fareel's eyes, rather predictably, were scanning the menu hanging over the counter. I was glad that, if nothing else, that at least hadn't changed.
As on edge as everyone was, I couldn't let myself worry about that. I had other things to think about.
The air hanging over our group was heavy and hard, but how must that interaction have felt for Toya? As much as Sigura had implied otherwise, we were all a team. The last thing I wanted was for a member of our team to feel unwelcome or unnecessary. We needed to find a way to make it up to him, even if I was reluctant to bring the topic up while Sigura was still in a mood.
Would an apology be enough? Sigura would need to be the one to give it, but there had to be other ways we could show our appreciation for him. A gift, maybe? That had worked when Ragi had felt unwanted, too.
What would Toya even like? I was certain that although Slimes loved their meals, it wouldn't be much good for Toya in the long run, even if he could taste things. I wanted to give him something tangible, something that he could keep and look at to remind him that we were his allies. If we needed something personalised, maybe we could get him some clothes? If we purchased something with Hidebehind leather, it wouldn't rip and tear whenever he transformed or grew, would it?
But what about design? I didn't know what kind of fashion Pagonian men liked, but maybe I could ask around. I didn't know what race he was before becoming a Chimera, so I couldn't look into Slime fashion for a gift, either. Maybe clothes were the wrong gift to get. Maybe I could craft him something nicer, like a souvenir or an enchanted-
"I... I'll go make the orders," Sigura spoke, her voice low. The sound broke both the silence and my train of thought. It was a sound followed shortly after by the impatient tapping of her feet. She... didn't want to be here. She was feeling restless. Was she forcing herself to stay?
"[Okay...]" I responded, despite my better judgement. "[Just... don't lash out at the [Chef], alright? We should try and relax for a while. We need to rest and recover, Sigura.]"
Sigura winced at my words. My body tensed up, pink muscles clenching and squeezing. The action sent some sweat dribbling down the side of my mech, drops falling to the floor. Every part of me was prepared for a retort, or for her to snap, but...
Sigura took a deep breath, and then nodded.
"Yeah... I won't."
The words were filled with such a sad resignation that I couldn't help but feel sorry for her. Perhaps it was the wrong thing to feel in a situation like this, since she was the aggressor of the conversation, but my feelings had never bowed to logic before, and they certainly weren't going to start now.
I tore my awareness from her face, looking away as she began to speak with Streiphen and Fareel. As my awareness wandered, something clicked within my mind. I finally realised what it was that had seemed strange before. What I'd seen, or rather, the lack of what I should have seen.
Looking out through my zone into the beautiful garden through a glass wall bigger than I was, I realised that none of us had reflections.
It was a strange realisation to have, and one that gave my mind pause. It wasn't just me, or my mech, or the benches, either. None of us had reflections. Why? If my [Sensory Zone] didn't rely on light to see the area around me, then... not having reflections made sense. It wasn't as though we'd all suddenly become Vampires, or that we were using Skills or Spells to hide. Given the information I had at my disposal, not having reflections was simply common sense.
Yet... not seeing myself in the window, knowing that I wouldn't be able to look into a mirror and see my own body staring back at me... it was strange. Part of me felt hollow after the realisation, even if I had no idea why. It was a stupid, pointless, inconsequential thing, yet it felt like I'd lost something.
I thought back to everything we'd done.
Fighting the Dullahan. Leaving the village. Getting captured. Living and training with Yrlack. Death. Reuniting with Sigura. The escape. Huddling in a cave. Beating a team of adventurers. Arriving at the walls. Entering through the sewers. Finding Dronrowth. Fighting Big Tooth. Finding the orphans. Training them. Meeting with Pack Rat and Incognito. Joining the Velvet Star. Capturing Trainmech. The shopping center. The battle. The argument.
I'd become a different person since leaving Addersbrook, in more ways than one. I'd gained and lost so much, and this was what left me feeling hollow? This stupid, inconsequential thing was what upset me?
My emotions were... difficult. Chaotic. Impossible to understand.
Bang!
My mind snapped from its thoughts, searching frantically for the source of the danger. [Telekinesis] spread through my form, bringing the metal within me to life as I searched for the source of the...
It was a metal tray, one that held a steak the size of which I'd never seen before. I'd seen large steaks before, but this... It looked as though it was as heavy as Streiphen or Fareel. The meat was hot and steaming, a red colour that gleamed with the shine of a thin coating of warm blood. The steak was cooked rare, and ate up the entirety of the large tray within Sigura's hands. Part of me was surprised the tray wasn't bending beneath the weight.
Two more trays were balanced on her [Mantle] enhanced glowing tail, both holding food items that were far less ridiculous in size. One was planted in front of Streiphen, a plain looking sandwich with white bread and some vegetables within. A long, wavy blue fish that was curled into an S shape to neatly fit inside the tray's boundaries were placed in front of Fareel, who's face lit up at the sight of it. At least some people were easy to please.
"[Isn't that a little too much...?]" I asked Sigura as she sat down, pulling a knife and fork from her pocket. "[Will you even be able to eat all that?]"
Sigura gave me a shrug, wearing one of her characteristic grins on her face. If I hadn't been so used to reading her expression, I might have missed the stretching of her cheeks, which indicated just how forced the smile was.
"'Course I can! What do you take me for, Yur? Do you even know what this is?"
Her tone was filled with enthusiasm and energy. An energy I knew she couldn't possibly have right now.
"[A giant Scandian type of Cow?]" I guessed, unease seeping into my words.
"It's Mammoth steak, Yur. I've never even seen a damn Mammoth before, so I'm sure as Abyss not gonna pass up the chance to try it! If he put it on the menu, then clearly someone here's been eatin' it. I'll be damned if I'm not gonna take that challenge if he has the gall to stick 'Mammoth Steak' up on his menu. If we're gonna be livin' here, we've gotta make the most of it, Yur!"
My feelings were a messy jumble. Or... maybe they'd finally left me alone. I could still feel worry, relief, regret, and a heap of other emotions at the edge of my awareness, but mostly I felt... hollow. I had no better words to describe it, but I didn't have the energy to respond to Sigura's... enthusiasm. Even without needing to move, words felt too difficult to say.
But I couldn't let this situation devolve. Sigura was trying to salvage the mood, and... that was more than I was doing. She wanted the others to not feel as down, and I wanted to contribute to that, even if I couldn't find the words to reply with.
My awareness circled around the table, like a Bird that had been flying over an ocean for hours, desperately seeking somewhere to land and rest.
Fareel was eating his curved Fish without complaint. He reached out with a single webbed hand, grabbing a small container with the letter 'S' on the front. He squinted at the glass, and the small particles of white within. With a shrug, he began to tilt the container, allowing some of the salt to spill out onto his meal. He was eating with his bare hands, and hadn't touched the cutlery at all.
Streiphen's meal was a sandwich. Compared to the meals that Sigura and Fareel had ordered, it was meager. With all of the recovery his body needed, something like that couldn't have been enough. That concern saved me, providing an oasis to let me break the silence hanging over us.
"[Is that all you're having, Streiphen? I could order something else for you too, if you'd like. You don't need to worry about money. Not here.]"
My words felt as though they took too long to reach him. He hesitated for a few seconds, looking as though the words had passed through one ear and out the other. His mind was elsewhere.
It was only after a few long, uncomfortable seconds had passed over our table that he blinked, looking back up at me. His eyes carried that same hollow look that I felt within me. A reflection.
"No... it's okay, Miss Yuri..." he responded, glancing down at the sandwich on his tray. It had been left nearly unscathed, with a single, lonely bite at the corner serving as the only evidence it had been touched at all. "I'm not hungry."
The tone in his voice sapped all the energy I'd been able to muster, but Sigura worked to pick up the slack.
"We all get down, pipsqueak," Sigura said, giving the boy a pat on the shoulder. "But y'know, you two did great the other day. During the fight. Yuri, you fought off five of those bastards and put 'em in their place. And for your first time fighting Casters, pipsqueak, you really held on. You did good."
Streiphen nodded, letting out a ghost of a "Thanks" through his lips. That single word seemed to break Sigura's composure for a moment, and she looked away, rubbing the back of her neck with the hand holding the knife.
"What about that magic you used? I've never seen you do that before, pipsqueak. Was that, erm, somethin' you had before...?"
She left the words unsaid, and I could tell she was grasping desperately for something to hold onto. Part of me wanted to give her something to work with, but a greater part... didn't have the energy or willpower to do so.
"Umm... I... don't really know," Streiphen responded with a murmur, giving a light shrug as his shoulders began to hunch up. He turned his face away, looking back out the window. "Maybe."
One by one, Sigura's lifelines were being cut down. I felt sorry for her, having to do this to salvage the mood. The tapping of her foot beneath the table grew louder and faster, like a panicked heartbeat. I wondered how long she could keep this up before she ran.
"What've you been up to, anyway?" Sigura asked, casting her bright, desperate eyes towards the feasting Fishfolk.
Fareel looked up, a fin hanging out of his mouth. The man raised a webbed hand, giving it a shake that could've been an uncertain wiggling motion, followed by a shrug. With a loud slurp, the fin was sucked past his teeth.
The conversation broke down. Even Sigura, who was never at a loss for words, couldn't find another avenue of escape. I expected her to stand up and leave, to go for a jog to clear her head. Even if she did, I knew that it wouldn't matter. When she came back, the issue would still be here. She couldn't run from the problem forever, not while it followed us like a Grim Reaper stalked the old and withered.
Metal scraped against stone. Sigura pushed her tray away from her, planting both elbows on the edge of the table. The Half Nekari groaned, placing her face in both hands, eyes obscured by curled, clenched fingers.
The heartbeat stopped, Sigura's sandal no longer smacking against the floor.
"Am I the asshole?" Sigura sighed, closing her eyes as her hands fell back towards the table. "I know I made a mistake. I messed up, saying all of that shit the way I did, but weren't we all thinking it?"
I couldn't speak for Streiphen and Fareel, but... maybe? I hadn't devoted much thought to Toya, but perhaps that was because he'd been so... distant. So adverse to us joining this group despite his shallow assurances that he was fine with it.
"This group's givin' us everything we need, and he doesn't want to take it. We're happy here, and he's the only one with a problem with it, right?"
Streiphen gave a slow, resigned nod, while Fareel only shrugged, continuing to tuck into his meal.
"[Even if that's true, we... we shouldn't disregard his feelings like that,]" I responded, pleasantly surprised with myself that I'd managed to find the words to voice some of the faceless feelings rattling around inside me.
Sigura groaned once again, looking upwards and outwards, her eyes on the garden's glass roof distorting the rays of the sun above.
"Well... the fuck am I supposed to do now?" she murmured, more to herself than to anyone else.
"[When you meet him again, you should apologise. We can talk it over as a group, and try to find a new compromise. One that we can use to make everyone happy with our arrangement. I... I don't know what that compromise will be, but we're a team. We can figure it out,]" I told her, my mind and heart finally supplying me with the motivation I needed to begin dragging Sigura out of her stupor.
Sigura sniffed at the air, glancing around the hall. She let a defeated sigh pass through her lips.
"[When you meet him again, you should know what you want to say. If you're worried that you... won't be able to say the right thing without hurting him, plan it out in advance. I'm no expert, but I'll... I'll try to help if it helps to repair our team dynamic.]"
Sigura's eyes drifted back towards the window, and her face wore a sad, shaky smile. Shaky in that it was uncertain. One different from the cheek stretching mask of a smile she'd worn earlier.
"Yeah, sure," she responded. "Seems like good advice. Sounds like the kind of advice a leader'd give, don't'cha think?"
My body tensed reflexively. The type of advice a 'leader' would give? I'd been trying to help, but... perhaps I'd overstepped my boundaries. We were teammates, yes, but I didn't have the right to interfere with the conflict between her and Toya. The sound of my fluids dripping to the floor began to fill the tense silence.
Sigura's smile wobbled as her eyes found my body. Her shoulders tensed, her hands shook, and her eyes were torn away, back towards the garden.
"You should be the leader of this team, Yur!" she said, the words rushing out of her mouth, expression pained. "I know we said that we were all sorta here together, but we need someone to actually call the shots and make the final decision on things. If we don't have a proper leader, then all we'll have is arguments when shit goes down and we have to make real choices. You're level headed, Yur. A little different than you were, sure, but still level headed."
"[I... I can't do that!]" I blurted back. The shock in my voice sent an instinctual wave of [Telekinesis] through my mech. Something to 'grip' for a sense of stability. "[I'm... I'm not as level headed as you think I am, Sigura. I'm... not up to the task.]"
As uncertain and sudden as this conversation felt, Sigura's shaky smile changed. Even as I became more doubtful, the worry in her own smile was beginning to melt away.
"Humble too, huh?" Sigura smiled. Pained as it was, it was more genuine than anything that had come before it. "Good trait for a leader, Yur. If you won't do it, then who else will? Streiphen's just a kid, Fareel barfs up insects in a fight, and Jiggles... yeah. If we left things up to him, we all know what direction he'd choose for this team."
Her words cast a shroud of silence back over the table. As nice as her words sounded, they weren't the most logical conclusion. She was simply worried about this argument affecting her judgement. She was the person most fit to be leader.
"[And you can't?]" I retorted, my voice challenging. "[If not for you, I wouldn't have made the decision to become a real Caster. You led our last team well, even if we had some hiccups, and your decision making in the field was always-]"
Metal crunched beneath Sigura's grip. The fingers of her hands tightened, squeezing the shape out of the cutlery. With my zone, I could see the deep indents those powerful fingers left in the metal.
"No, Yur, I'm not a fuckin' leader," Sigura growled back, her expression having regained some of its earlier anger. "Just... Just listen, alright? I'm a good fighter, and I like being in charge, but that ain't the same as being good at it. Maybe I could lead some shitty adventuring team living in the middle of nowhere, but with the stakes we're playing with now, Yur, I can't afford to make mistakes. When I slip up, I fall off a fuckin' cliff and drag everything around me down too. When you mess up... Look, you don't slip up nearly as badly as I do, Yur. Your mistakes are small. Salvageable. Just... trust me on this, alright? You're a better leader than I am."
The passion in her voice had taken me aback. I hadn't expected such energy and fury in her words. As... difficult as Sigura could be, I respected her. If she believed that I could be a leader, then... I trusted her judgement more than I trusted mine. If that was what she believed was best for the team, then perhaps I should seriously consider it. But compared to her, my skill with people was laughable. I could deal with others in a formal setting, but when it came to the sort of charisma a leader needed, I had none of the natural skill and charm that Sigura had. Compared to that, I-
Sigura's eyes parted from my body as they took a moment to have a long, dramatic roll. Raising both arms, Sigura clinked the twisted, mangled cutlery together, slapping a cheery grin onto her face.
"Alright everyone, team meeting!" she chirped. "Since Yuri doesn't want to be leader, that means I'm the one leading our merry band! I know you're all just overjoyed to hear that, but please hold yer applause. For my first order as official team leader-"
She paused, taking the moment to clink the heads of the cutlery against the edge of the table with great speed, mimicking a drum roll.
Then, her expression became deadpan, and the fork snapped upwards, the head of the prongs pointed straight at my exposed, pink body.
"I resign, and appoint you as leader. That's an order too, got it? I don't want to hear any backtalk. You are the best person to lead this little squad we've got, whether you like it or not. Even if you don't think you're ready, you need to do this. For the team. Understand?"
Streiphen's face changed, and a small smile bloomed. His eyes turned towards me as the stars within them began to churn slowly, like the night sky beginning to move again. He nodded.
Fareel grinned widely, his teeth stained with pieces of chewed up Fish. Despite the flecks of blue staining his mouth, he reached over, patting the side of my mech with slimy fingers.
"[Yes... ma'am,]" I responded weakly, the loose sound of a smile seeping into my words. "[Alright... I'll do it, but... we need to communicate, alright? I can't make these big decisions on my own. I'll need your input. All of your inputs, if we're going to make this work.]"
Sigura raised an arm, pointing the tip of her knife against her forehead. A moment of panic filled my system before abruptly spilling out as I realised what she was doing.
"Aye aye, Chief," she responded dryly, giving a mock salute with the knife, mimicking the same salute I'd given on the day we defeated Trainmech. The giggles that came out of Streiphen and Fareel were like a breath of fresh air.
"[And! As... as my first order as, um, Equinox's leader, I say we need to relax and come up with a plan to welcome Toya back into the fold. We... need to make it up to him. We can't be a team if there are hard feelings standing between us. Our first... order of business is to rest, like the Don ordered, and get into a better state of mind.]"
It sounded goofy. It sounded wrong coming out of my mouth. But... it felt strangely liberating, too.
We could walk around, but we were in no condition to fight or use extensive magic. This? This gave us something worthwhile that we could do. This gave us some semblance of direction.
Sigura nodded, jabbing the head of the fork back into the steak. The prongs cut deep into the skin as juices spilled out of the wound. With that leverage alone, Sigura's arm flexed, pulling it and the tray back towards her. With a twist of the fork, she tore another piece of meat from the pile, popping it into her mouth.
"This is good though," Sigura spoke around a mouthful of Mammoth. "The food's good too, but I meant... this. It's a real weight off my shoulders, Yur, you've got no idea how-"
The sound of a light cough interrupted the Half Nekari's words. The eyes and awareness of those at the table turned to look towards the person who'd intruded on our mealtime. They were a familiar face, a Humanoid woman bathed in a soft, ethereal glow, one garbed in the Velvet Star uniform. Both of her hands were linked behind her back, sitting just above a wiggling, puffy tuft of a blue tail. Two long, pale blue Rabbit-like ears sat atop her head, and the sheepish looking woman's shoulders were hunched up.
"Sorry to interrupt," Clever Girl said, looking from person to person. "But, um, how are things?"
"Things?" Sigura asked past the Mammoth being chewed to pieces in her mouth.
"Y'know, like... how are you?" the Lapin Halfblood asked with a sheepish smile.
Sigura turned to look towards me, an eyebrow raised and a grin on her face.
"Better," Sigura replied simply, looking back towards our coworker. "What's up?"
Clever Girl let out a sigh, rubbing the back of her neck as she looked back up at me.
"Well, a few of the others and I are going out to a restaurant later to catch a show. I, um, saw you guys over here and figured I should invite you. Don't! Uh, don't feel obligated to come just because I asked or anything. If you still need some space to settle in, you can always come out another time, or..." she trailed off, eyes looking off to the side as she gave us a shrug.
She 'saw us over here'? While part of me was flattered that she was inviting us out, I suspected that if she'd heard everything, it was possible she was asking us to come out because she'd seen us arguing. The last thing I wanted was to impose and sully their meals with our issues. If she was just asking to be polite, then the right decision would be to respectfully decline.
"Well, Captain? Are we going?" Sigura asked, grinning toothily up at me.
While she used a claw to pick some Mammoth meat from between her teeth, I could see the other two looking towards me. Streiphen's eyes were expectant, practically sparkling with hope. Fareel's were... less energetic, of course, but his smile was just as wide as Sigura's. It didn't take a genius to read the room. My team wanted to go. But... if I was to be a good leader, I needed to think of the team's best interests. If they were inviting us out as a mere formality, then it would be best for our reputation and relationship with our coworkers to-
My train of thought ground to a halt. My awareness had hovered above each of my teammates, and now it had returned to Clever Girl. She was looking up at me, eyes wide with anticipation. Her pupils were a shimmering ocean blue, deep and... hopeful? Between that and the black Rabbit-like nose, I was finding it... difficult, to keep my thoughts straight.
The look in her eyes told me it wasn't just a formality. That she and whoever was going with her did want us to come. And, really, I knew it would be hard to say 'no' while she was looking at me like that.
"[... Are you sure you'll be able to eat after you finish your steak?]" I asked Sigura after an uncomfortably extended pause, once again glad that my 'blush' wasn't easy to see with a form like mine.
"This thing?" Sigura smiled, planting the twisted, mangled cutlery down onto the table. Her expression was relaxed and carefree, and I felt relief fill my form. "'Course I will. I'll go out for a jog and come back for seconds. Somethin' like this is no problem."
Clever Girl blinked in stunned shock, her eyes now locked on the bent cutlery. Now that they were on the table, my [Telekinesis] reached out to grip them, using the blunt ends of each utensil alongside my [Heated Steel] to push them back into shape as I mulled over our options.
We did need to relax and rest after what happened, both during the fight and... earlier. It would be nice to get out of here again for a while, too, especially if we had other Casters around to back us up. Still, I refused to be complacent. I wasn't going to make the mistake of going out without being fully prepared for a battle again. Concealing weapons was something my compartment excelled at, and this was a perfect opportunity to build relations with our coworkers.
"[Then... I'd like to ask what my teammates think,]" I told her, my awareness drifting back towards the two allies that hadn't yet given me a solid answer.
Fareel's eyes turned from me to the Lapin Halfblood. With a raised eyebrow, the Fishfolk began to rub the ends of two fingers against one another, a silent gesture. It took a moment for the Lapin to register what the Chimera meant, but the sonorous laugh that escaped her lips told me she hadn't taken it the wrong way.
"Don't worry, I'm the one inviting you all out," Clever Girl smiled, her shoulders losing some of the awkward tension they'd had before coming over. "I'll pay for your meals. My treat."
Fareel looked back towards me with a glint in his eye, giving a decisive nod.
When my awareness turned to Streiphen, the tension that had hung over our group had lifted in its entirety. As soon as I laid eyes on his relieved, relaxed smile, all of my worries seemed to melt away, even if only for this brief moment.
"Mhmm! I'd love to!" Streiphen said, speaking around a mouthful of the sandwich he hadn't touched until now. He'd gotten his appetite back.
Even if this form wasn't capable of eating, I relished the opportunity to network with some of the other Velvet Rose members. I was nervous, of course, but the sense of anticipation cut through that feeling like a hot knife through butter.
The thought of the argument still lingered in the back of my mind, but... if we made a good impression on some of the organisation's Casters, maybe we could salvage the day with a net positive in our relationships with others.