Luna startled awake.

She was alone in a dark cave. The sky outside was cloudy and slightly drizzling. She realized she was covered with a thick blanket and a fire near her had recently gone out. Her left arm was gone, as the nub was covered with bandages. Luna’s wounds had also been cleaned and her body was modestly covered with fresh dressings, while her damaged clothes had been changed with Shinaki’s sword on top of the pile.

Luna never revealed her body to anyone, with only a few people having ever seen it completely against her will. It could not even be called a body anymore, but a mangled piece of flesh that was covered in deep scars, large gashes, cuts, and even large sections of her body that seemed to have been carved off. Her metallic ribs were indented while the skin on her gut was so thin that her organs were almost visible. Thin metal plates that seemed to be welded on were holding parts of her together while also shielding her vulnerable body.

Throughout their trip, she did her best to hide her figure from Elizabeth so as not to worry her. She knew her body wasn’t pleasant to look at in the slightest and that is why she always hid it away underneath long padded dress shirts or thick baggy clothes and even refused to remove it when bathing if she was not completely alone.

She then heard the sound of heavy wings flapping and the strong smell of dead meat. A gryphon like the one they saw before landed in the cave and dropped down a cow carcass that was half eaten. It wasn’t the same gryphon as it looked much fiercer and even had a scar on its right eye. It nudged the rotting corpse towards Luna and cawed angrily at her. The smell of the meat made her want to gag and the gryphon kept nudging it towards her.

"I would not eat that."

An impeccably dressed man in a beautiful tailored suit topped with a long overcoat came from behind the gryphon. There was something about him that gave him an aura of wisdom and intelligence. He was completely bald while his eyes, a warm green behind square-framed glasses, made him look inquisitive. It is as though he can analyse anyone’s thoughts and emotions by staring at them alone.

"I’m guessing you did all of this?" Luna said to him.

"Yes, actually." He approached her. He dropped the bundle of sticks he was carrying and began to make a campfire for them.

"How am I still alive?" Luna said as she attempted to lift her now missing left arm. The gryphon also started to get comfortable as it lay near them. "I am pretty sure bleeding out, losing an arm, falling from that height, or drowning would finally kill me."

"Don’t look at me." The man said as he started to get some dried meat from his satchel bag. "Thank your pet."

Luna did not realize it, but the pillow she was using began to wobble and jiggle. She slowly sat upright as Willow started to crawl towards the cow carcass and enter it. Both of them watched as the corpse seemingly started to come alive as the blotking possessed the dead body.

"Willow, get out of there. That’s filthy." Luna ordered it, but the blotking slowly ate the carcass from the inside. It was like watching a corpse slowly melt from within. As it did, the smell of dead flesh began to slowly vanish and dissolve within Willow as well.

"I cannot believe a blotking managed to replicate the amber serum. It may not be an exact copy and its potency is incredibly low, but it shows how little we know about these creatures."

“Honestly, I’m surprised that you find the blotking more surprising than the extinct creature cleaning itself beside us." The gryphon cawed as it returned to grooming itself.

"Ah yes the gryphons. Merlin’s have known about them for centuries. We just didn’t tell anyone." Merlin skewered some meat and began to warm it up by the fire. "If you want someone to blame for why you are still alive, blame him."

The gryphon softly cawed.

"Did everyone make it out?"

"They did." Merlin offered her a canteen of water, which she drank rapidly.

"How long was I out of it?"

"Four days now."

"Four days?! I need to get back to them! I need to-" The pain in her legs stopped her from standing; even her arm felt painfully heavy.

"What you need is to rest for now and let your wounds heal. It is a total miracle you are still alive."

"Do they even know that I am still alive?”

"Probably not, but if I know Baldric and Solomon, they know you won’t die that easy." Merlin urged her to lie back down, but Luna tried to stand up again. The gryphon roared angrily at her, as if asking her to stop.

"You know, if you just shared the amber formula, I could make it and you would be up to your feet in no time." Merlin said, once she had settled down.

"Not a chance, Merlin. That monstrosity dies with me."

"Well, get comfortable because I don’t see you standing anytime soon."

Merlin then returned to cooking over the campfire, and the cave soon smelled like roasting meat. Luna stared up at the cave ceiling as he let him cook in silence.

"It will not work for you, Merlin, or for anyone else. The serum only works for me."

"In the past, I would have believed you. But with what I have seen, or rather what we both have seen, we both know that’s not true. Why would Chimera start manufacturing it again if your serum only works for you? You know what this means, right? They finally did it."

"They did nothing, Merlin." Luna lifted her right hand. The same she used to rip Suvorian’s head from her body. "I personally made sure they would never get any of their formulas."

"Really? What’s this?!" Merlin brought out a small vial of yellow and blue liquid. "Its potency is almost a perfect match to the Venom serum and even the antigen. You said to me, this only works on you as well, and yet I have seen blood stalkers running on this."

"Where did you get these?" Luna slowly sat upright and checked the vials.

"Deep in Silvus."

"Are they mass producing these already?"

"Not on a large scale, but enough to warrant a concern."

Luna sighed heavily. The whole trip came back to her. All her faults, her mistakes spiralled out of control to the point that innocent civilians and children died because of her.

"You should have destroyed the facility where you got this Merlin. Burned it to the ground and sent it back to hell along with every single soul inside."

Merlin laughed, but from his tone alone, he was more irritated than amused.

"You're serious?"

She looked at him straight in the eye.

Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

"You?! You’re talking about killing? You?! Not you too Luna. Not you too."

"Did you destroy the facility or not, Merlin?"

"I did. I wiped it clean off the face of Pandora." Merlin realized his meat was slightly burning, so he returned to cooking. Unknown to Luna, he brought a triangular totem which he wore on his neck and hid underneath his clothes.

Luna stared into the two vials of liquid near her.

"There was a facility near Pharc… they were making the venom and the… amber as well."

"Did you destroy it?" Merlin said without looking at her.

"I did. Among other things."

"I saw. Or rather, I stopped there before we got to you. Sloppy work, by the way. Bombing it from a dreadnaught? You’re lucky I was there to do the job properly." Merlin looked at her and she saw he was visibly irritated. "I was surprised as well when I saw the bodies, and I must say your hypocrisy is incredible."

"Excuse you?"

"What did they say about depriving yourself of something for so long that when you get a taste of it again, you can't stop?"

"I was not myself, Merlin."

"Really?!" His gaze bore into her.

"For most of it, I was drunk on the venom. I did… kill." The word felt like ash in her mouth. "But through it all, I barely knew what I was doing."

Merlin huffed, "A convenient excuse that you say every time. I wasn’t myself. It was the venom. Don’t you have anything better? It’s starting to get old."

"Fine, I did kill people with my own mind but still it…"

"Stop that! It’s seriously pissing me off!"

"Stop what?!" Luna looked at him confused.

"Playing the victim! You always use that!"

Luna stared at him. "I am the victim here!"

"Until when? Until when will you hide behind it?! Until when will you keep dodging your responsibility?!"

“What the hell do you want from me Merlin?!”

“To stop it! To end this vow that will get you killed?!”

The gryphon roared loudly, silencing them both. Neither spoke again as they just stared at each other. Merlin turned his back on her and continued to stoke the fire.

"You want me to kill again Merlin? Is that what you want? Even in this I will have no choice? Can you not see I don’t want that life anymore?!"

"And yet you are a bounty hunter?"

"So suddenly me being a bounty hunter gives me what?! A right to kill?" Luna tried to sit upright. "I don’t know where you are going with this, Merlin, but seriously, just stop before you humiliate yourself."

Merlin threw a stick into the fire. "You really don’t know? Maker you deluded yourself this far?! Stuck in your self-righteous head of yours that you can’t see how insane you have become?"

"Delusion?! You think I am crazy? Shouldn’t I be saying that to you? To all of you?! I don’t kill because I have no right to kill. I have no right to take another life."

"And yet the life you chose is filled with murder and death."

"I will repeat it again for you. Maybe it will fit in that fat head. Just because I am a bounty hunter does not mean I have the right to kill. I am not a murderer, nor do I have the sanction to kill."

"Oh yes, I have heard your script before. But you can’t wash blood from your hands, Luna. And yours are just as bloody or even bloodier than mine. All the lives you could have saved had you chosen to end the life of a criminal or a felon. Or maybe the past few weeks meant nothing to you."

She felt the back of her neck heat up in guilt. Merlin glared at her but she did not back down.

"That is… not our call to make."

"And yet they run free to murder and kill again because of you! I think it's noble, sage even, that you and Baldric have a moral code. And honestly, I could not care less. But when your arrogance and pride start to put others in harm’s way, don’t you think you should stop? You have the skills to fend for yourself and I could care less about you, but forcing your dangerous idea onto others, even if it means risking their own life?! How close were you to killing Annie? Or Gerwulf, Max, or even Oichi?!"

"There has to be a better way other than killing."

"And what if there is none? What if, in order to save a million lives, you have to kill one? Will you still do nothing?"

There was only the sound of the rain and the crackling of the fire that filled the cave. The gryphon softly cawed as Willow finally finished devouring the carcass.

"Is this why you came all this way to save me or find me Merlin?" Luna said as she met his gaze. "To berate me? To ask me to break my vow? Do you want to know why me and Baldric swore to never kill again after Beatrice and the children died?

Because we can not keep being a part of what caused their deaths. The cycle of killing never ends. We tried it and it didn’t work. We have to stop Merlin. If not, then when will it end? Tell me that if we soak our hands in blood again, will we be able to pull ourselves out? It will never end. There has to be another way. There has to be."

"As I said, a noble theory but one so dangerous to put in practice. You may save your belief or your soul, but what if your theory puts others at risk? What if, because of your inaction, someone innocent dies from it? Tell me, will you be able to live with it, Luna?

Will you be able to face the Maker and say that you were selfish to save your own soul and could not have prevented the death of another had you been decisive? What if your skills one day are not enough? What then? What if, because of your indecision, someone is forced to act in your stead? That they stain their souls when you could have spared them from it? Can you live with yourself that you let others destroy their soul for you?"

Merlin did not know how true his words were as she remembered the trip, but still, Luna held on.

"So I will become the judge and the executioner?! What if we are wrong? Did you ever think about that?! What if we kill an innocent man? What if we acted and did not know everything? Who are we to decide who should live and die? Look at me! Am I not an example of that?!"

Merlin laughed at her answer.

"Then tell me the people in Pharc. Why did you kill them then? What makes them different?"

"They are different! Merlin they were Chimera! They are not even humans but demons made flesh!”

"And lo and behold, the hypocrisy continues! When it comes to others, you do nothing, but suddenly you decide on your own to execute them all. It is amazing how your skewed sense of morality only applies when it is convenient! Bravo Luna."

Luna stammered to defend herself. Why am I suddenly wrong in his eyes?

"Fine! It was a mistake, Merlin! I made a mistake! One mistake! Suddenly I can’t make mistakes anymore?!"

"People in our position cannot make mistakes, Luna. If we make mistakes, people get hurt or die. But I will give your foolish mindset a chance and look at your argument from another perspective. Tell me then, if you did not kill them and they live on to torture and brutalize others, will you be able to live with yourself that you let people like them run about in the world?

What if they make another Xiera? What if they find another young girl like you and turn her into another twisted abomination? Did you not even think that maybe, just maybe, all it takes for evil like theirs to spread is for good people to not act?! You have the power to do these things! To stop it before they hurt anyone else, and yet you waste the chance given to you!"

"That is not justice Merlin! I made a mistake! I see that! I wish I could take it all back, but I can’t! We are not the courts! We cannot decide on our own who lives and dies!”

"Amazing how you, the leader of a bounty hunting guild, A shadow no less, can be so embarrassingly naïve, So tell me you will just let their evil spread and hope someone else stops them for you?"

"I…. Well…" Luna stammered. "It just… it should not be us."

Merlin, however, remained unconvinced. His gaze burned Luna with overwhelming guilt.

"Why are you saying all of this to me Merlin?"

"You really don’t know?!" Merlin finally lashed out. "Maker! Because your ideas are getting you and everyone around you killed! Because I don’t want you to die! Do you know how close you were to death when we found you?! Did you know that you have stopped breathing already?! That if I didn’t have your pet, you were as good as dead?!"

"Why would you care anyway?!"

"Because it is so painful to see you struggle and suffer! You value yourself so little! You pray for death and charge blindly towards it and think it is the only solution to your problems but it’s not You will not solve your grief and your problems if you kill yourself, but you will pass them on to others! Can you not see that?!

Marko gave his life for you! He gave you everything just for you to live, and here you are trying to kill yourself! You are insulting his sacrifice!"

Shame and guilt silenced her. She could not say anything back as his words; every single one of it was true.

"I’m sorry Merlin. I can’t… I’m sorry. I’m sorry."

Luna did not try to speak anymore. Everything Merlin said was true and made her feel worse. He turned away as he returned to cooking while Willow returned to Luna and resumed being her pillow.