The sound of the alarm clock sounded loud, and drowsy, Leonardo got up, and thought a lot about something, still sitting on the bed, just wearing his underwear and no shirt, he leaned on his knee and sighed, and after a while his mind was completely silent. and with a faraway look, he finally stood up, and faced himself in the mirror.
He had lost more than forty pounds, and his body had undergone several changes, and was starting to get in shape again. Many of the wrinkles he had disappeared, and confidence was now more common for him.
Leonardo needed to prepare, it was Sunday, and above all, it was the day of the ten kilometer competition. Almost two months had passed since the day he went to a motel for the first time with Marcelle, little had changed, they continued to meet discreetly, and Leonardo spent the night at Marcelle's house several times.
It was Sunday, and Leonardo's mother was at home, he took the day off and was already in the living room watching some series, as soon as Leonardo passed by, she asked him to prepare something.
He was quieter that morning, he hadn't talked about the race he was going to participate in, and he hadn't even thought much about it, things were going well, but he still had unfinished business to resolve.
He prepared some banana pancakes and made an avocado smoothie, he needed to gather a lot of energy, and get ready for the race.
Leonardo sat next to his mother, he looked at the television, but he didn't pay much attention to what was happening in the series, he could only think about some internal dilemmas he was having.
After finishing eating, Leonardo's mother started squeezing his stomach, saying that he was doing great and how the running was good for him. But soon the topic changed.
“I noticed you’ve been sleeping out a lot lately.”
“Yes, but I think it’s normal.”
“Are you seeing someone special?”
“I can’t say, we’re just getting to know each other.”
“And when will I be able to meet this person too?”
“I don’t know, we don’t have anything serious yet, we’re just enjoying the moment.”
“These young people nowadays just want to know that, to enjoy the moment.”
“I don’t want to put pressure on anyone, and I’m still just getting to know the person.”
“It's not like that, you can't deceive a girl like that, you have to demonstrate that you're really interested in something serious with her, you have to show commitment.”
Leonardo just remained silent, and continued to take the avocado smoothie, he understood what his mother meant, but he had already had a conversation like that with Marcelle, she just said that she wanted to leave things as they were.
This and other things were making Leonardo hot-headed. But he needed to go out, even with the race scheduled in the late afternoon, Leonardo arranged to meet Jane in the morning, at the mall.
And soon after finishing breakfast, Leonardo left to meet Jane.
He arrived at the mall a little in a hurry, it was an environment he didn't like, the movement, or the lights, or the always smiling salespeople, but as Jane always went to the mall and invited him, he learned to get used to it.
While waiting for Jane at the bookstore, he looked at some books, he saw some titles that Jane had lent him, and some similar ones, he needed to buy them too, but something was pressing him inside, and he decided not to buy them.
Jane soon arrived. She was wearing a red plaid shirt much bigger than her size, jeans shorts and a black shirt underneath, a look that suited her well, and she managed to disguise herself well among people.
As soon as Jane arrived, they went to a clothing store to buy some things, Jane always needed to buy new things, so as not to be too repetitive in the videos, and sometimes she used some clothing exchange sites, she always changed her own style.
And after helping Jane choose some clothes, they went to a cafe and started talking.
Jane already knew a little about what was happening with Leonardo, but it was still a delicate matter.
He suspected that Marcelle was seeing someone else, but it was something even worse, he thought that person could be Jonathan.
Just thinking about something like that made Leonardo's stomach churn and contract, it was difficult even to drink the coffee, but he had the right person in front of him: Jane.
“But you still haven’t talked to her about it, about you being suspicious and observing her like that, right?”
“It's very complicated, but I haven't said it yet, and this has been happening for a long time, I've been observing this for over a month, and I don't really know if I'm right or wrong.”
“How was this discovery, anyway?”
It was in the first few weeks, several times someone called Marcelle and sent messages, she never answered the calls and always stayed away to exchange messages, in some cases, this happened in the early hours of the morning.”
“I don't even know what to say, but I went through this myself, if it were someone sending a message, everything would be easier, but I already know you well, and I have enormous affection for you, and I believe that the best solution is, is to ask once and for all what is happening between you, and if necessary, put an end to everything.”
“At first, I even thought about leaving it alone, and just enjoying Marcelle's company, everything we did was very pleasant, and I thought that alone would be enough.”
“A lot of people are like that, they think it doesn’t matter if their partner is seeing other people, as long as they stay together, I think I was going through that.”
“I can’t say if it was my case, I knew we didn’t have anything official, but I didn’t know she could be acting like that, especially with me sleeping at her house several times.”
“I don't know exactly what was happening with her, but from what you told me, you had a strong complicity, a pleasant and very important rapport, but she must have avoided saying something, or was hiding something from you.”
“I was very insecure about it, I didn’t know what someone like her was doing to someone like me.”
“What do you mean, “just like you” You are a wonderful person, you can certainly be with an incredible person who values you, you need to focus on observing your qualities more, this will make you stand out more and more in different things. ”
“She was always better than me at many things, and she always attracted attention so, over time I became better, I was becoming
getting used to being seen by her side, but when I started to realize that maybe she was cheating on me, it started to hurt me inside.”
“I know how you feel, this also happened to me, and more than once... I felt like the most loved and desired woman in the world, until I discovered that he had others, and yes, there were more than one... never I managed to talk well about it, I even went to therapy for a while.”
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“Not even when I was at my lowest point did I consider going to therapy, that was the big difference between the two of us, maybe it would have been better if I had talked to someone about it before.”
“But I said, you can always count on me to vent about anything.”
“Yes, I should have done that, right at the beginning I thought about asking Marcelle about her ex-boyfriends, or about her reasons for wanting to be with me, but then I would have to open up too, so I avoided talking about those things, I think I should have acted differently.”
“The fear of exposing yourself and continuing to suffer, or of making your partner think badly of you, that you are fragile, or insufficient for her, and things like that, I've had this fear, and I still have it, it doesn't happen to just anyone. I can talk like this, you have become someone special in my life”
“I don’t even know what to say, you are also the most important person to me, especially with what I’m going through, you managed to make me change so many things, even before we started living together.”
“I'm very happy to hear that, this has been my strength for a long time, simply being able to help and be useful in someone else's life.”
“But the hardest part is that I learned to love every part of her, every detail of her body I learned to recognize and care for, I already knew every curve, every expression on her body and face, and just knowing that someone else I’m going through the same thing, it’s causing me more and more harm, and it’s leaving me in even physical pain.”
Jane held onto Leonardo's hands tightly, she wanted to be able to say something more, but she couldn't, not at that moment, and continued trying to cheer Leonardo up, in whatever way possible, and in whatever way she could manage, in those moments.
Soon Leonardo had to leave, and start preparing for the race, which would take place in a few hours, but he had scheduled it with everyone, a few hours before.
. . .
The day was completely clear, the sky was golden in the afternoon, almost at the climax point between the turn of the day, and hundreds, or thousands, of runners gathered for a mega special race, with several stages, and the maximum was a half marathon. , but Leonardo and the others signed up for the ten kilometer stage, everyone managed to practice until they could at least finish a ten kilometer race.
Fernanda and Isabel were already able to run for ten kilometers, although they walked in some parts of the route, they managed to go to the end, and would try their best to complete the entire race without any breaks, and thus achieve this merit together.
Leonardo remained distant from everyone, calmly observed each step they took, he had already strengthened his friendship with Fernanda, and she had spoken to him several times about some problems she was going through, but she still had no proof of anything.
Isabel was one of those who underwent the most transformation with physical exercise, she changed a lot in her physical shape, her body became much slimmer, and the weight loss was clear, she said that on several occasions she spent the whole day fasting and only ate at night, and it was worth it, in the end, she was the one who stood out most in the changes.
Fernanda managed to shape her figure well, she had very thick thighs, now she had a practically pear-shaped body, she completely transformed herself, and it was worth the effort for those months in which she ran.
Jonathan continued in the same way as always, with Fernanda, he was the most communicative, and always did the stretching, and made some jokes about running, and mixed the stretching with a brief speech about friendship and companionship.
Leonardo was observing everything more closely, he looked to see how Marcelle communicated with Jonathan.
She looked completely beautiful, she had done her hair, put on basic makeup, as she knew she would be taking a lot of photos, and was wearing perfume that Leonardo had given her. And every thing that Leonardo observed about her caused a mix of emotions.
He wanted to make everything official, to have told everyone how important Marcelle was to him and how good the moment they were living together was, and the more he thought about it, the more his body ached, and the more he wanted leaving that place, he just wanted to finish that race as quickly as possible, even though everyone had planned to eat a pizza in celebration, he thought about making some excuse and going home, he felt better alone again, and away from others people.
While everyone was talking, Marcelle stood right next to him, almost supporting her body with his body, and so, he could feel her presence more deeply, the smell of her hair, the smell of her body, and everything she was feeling, he felt. all these things.
The closer Marcelle got, the more Leonardo felt the urge to give her a hug and be able to share with her everything he was feeling, but it was impossible, especially at that moment.
While he thought about all this, he observed Jonathan's behavior, and especially Fernanda's, she was always the one who talked the most and spoke the loudest among everyone, now she was silent, in the corner, and acting in a similar way to Leonardo.
Shortly before the race, Fernanda decided to go to the nearby bathroom, Isabel and Fernanda took the opportunity to go with her, while they left, Leonardo took the moment to talk alone with Jonathan, personally it was the most appropriate, as he wanted to see which reactions Jonathan would make.
“So Jonathan, how was the preparation for the race? Are you anxious?”
“I'm a little nervous, this week has been quite hectic, and Fernanda was quite anxious about it all.”
“I understand, it couldn’t have been easy, all while taking care of everything at home.”
“No really, this week I had to go back to work at night and stay very late, it was really difficult, but I managed to stay strong and help Fernanda in any way I could.”
“It's really nice to be able to do a group activity with someone you like, I'm thinking about doing the same.”
“Ah... so have you been seeing anyone? I noticed that you were changing a lot, taking care of yourself more, you can bring your friend, she will be well received by everyone here.”
“No really, I haven’t seen anyone, apart from work and the race people, but I’m thinking about asking Marcelle out, what do you think?”
“Marcelle?”
“Yes... I've been watching her for some time, she's really someone who catches my attention, but I don't know if I can achieve anything with her.”
“She doesn't talk much about you either... with Fernanda, I can't say if she would be interested, she is very closed off on some issues.”
“But, do you think she would dump me?”
“It's hard to say, but I think so, she has already dismissed some important people from her work, I don't know exactly what's going on with her, but it's difficult to say what kind of person she likes.”
“But I think I'll talk to her, maybe today, or this week, I don't know the best day... and it's been a while since I've done that, if it were you in my place, what would you say?”
“I don't really know, I've been out of the game for a long time, I think I would just ask her to go get something to eat and try to talk to her, nothing much beyond that.”
“I understand, maybe I will.”
“But what about Isabela? She has also been changing a lot in the meantime, maybe she has some interest in you, don't you want to try anything with her? Perhaps be what she wants too.”
“I like Isabela, but as a friend, she is important to me, just like you.”
After saying that last sentence, Leonardo squeezed Jonathan's shoulder, and Jonathan smiled in return, soon after the conversation, Marcelle and the others returned from the bathroom, Fernanda seemed more excited, laughing more, and speaking louder.
They went to the race point, and got ready for the start, and it would be something difficult, more than an hour running, without interruptions, and for them who started a few weeks ago, it was even more difficult, and that made Leonardo anxious, he returned his attention to the race, as now the activity made him hold back on his emotions.
And the race began, hundreds of people ran almost at the same pace, sending a significant amount of energy flying in all directions, different bodies fighting for space, trying to see the ground in front of their eyes, maintaining the same rhythm in breathing, in step and waiting for the best moment to accelerate and stand out from other people.
Soon after the race started, Leonardo had already lost his way from the group, he was running alongside people he had never seen in his life, and he had little energy left to look around, he looked and tried to look for Marcelle, but the faces around him seemed all the same, and he couldn't see much beyond that.
As Leonardo looked for Marcelle, he remembered what Jonathan had said before the race, and when Leonardo remembered the moments he had with Marcelle, Jonathan's image appeared in his mind to get in the way, everything was being disrupted continuously, the memories of Leonardo were under attack.
And this had been happening for a few days, and it was eating him up inside, he tried to think about Marcelle, but he was hit by a complete attack of mental images, confusing him, and distancing him from everything that was good and pleasant.
And the race continued, with one step after another, and rhythmic breathing, and people starting to distance themselves and stand out, those who had more experience, went ahead, those who had more practice and were already used to running ten kilometers already. he was far ahead, and Leonardo's plan was to finish the race with less than an hour to go.
A fine summer rain began, very light and gentle, but the sun continued to shine in a large part of the sky, bringing immense joy to those who were already used to running in the rain, it was the strong point for many of them to stand out even more among the other runners.
Leonardo remembered the rainy days, among many, the first days he spent with Marcelle, and a lot went through his mind, while he ran, while he thought, he remembered the samba circles, the dinners with Marcelle, he remembered the first time I was at her house.
There was so much going on at that moment, and his body tightened even more when he remembered it all.
Leonardo got a bigger space, he could already see a good part of the route he had to take, he could see how far he had already run, and seeing those people on the side of the track supporting him at that moment made him feel even better.
He was very happy with the race and the people around him, he certainly made the right decision by signing up for that race, he needs to hold on like that for a while longer, until he can reach the finish line.