Chapter 16: Burden_The One Called Everfrost (Hiatus)

Last night, I and Ars embraced one another. It all started with a massage and... Its just happens that Ars had a burden inside of him, and as if I could feel it I helped him to relieve them temporarily.

I woke up with my head buried in his chest, with our arms wraping each of our body.

I never thought we would end up like this. I wonder if, this is fine for him.

I had given up on receiving love or anything of that kind. And, I didn't pursue them either. I would be happy just to like someone from a far distance, and still able to be with them as friends.

But... To feel close with someone like this, to receive them too, it feels good.

The warmth from his body and the sunlight that shine through the gaps between the curtains surrounds me.

I take a look at his face. He looks, in peace.

I feel glad that I could comfort him. I caresses his arm, before moving on to interlock our fingers.

Ars opened his eyes and looked at me in the eyes, before averting them.

He seems shy. I mean, even I can't look at him properly. I guess, even he feel that kind of feeling. I don't know but, he looks cute like this.

I hugged him much closer, cuddling him. He replied the same way.

Its comfortable here. He too feels the same.

My stomach was grumbling for some reason. I feel... Hungry. For literal food I mean. Maybe, we had used too much energy.

'Ars, wanna take breakfast? I am hungry', I take a look at him before looking away.

"Yeah", he replied simply. He is just as awkward as I am.

'I want to shower first'.

We let go each other. I moved the blanket covering us, and take my towels to wrap my exposed body.

I take the pajamas lying on the floor and placed them on my bed as I went to the shower.

Remembering what happened last night, I feel flustered. It wasn't a dream.

I felt cleaner as water mixes with whatever left on body, washing them away. My waist felt a bit sore, even though I supposed to have a self healing skill. Maybe it was too intense.

I wonder how should I approach him after this. I should ask him. Maybe he wanted it to be a one time thing and just forget it. I don't know.

I finished my shower and went out of the bathroom.

Ars was sitting on his bed, with towel already covered his lower body.

We took glances at each other, before he went into to the shower.

As we were both clothed up we went out together towards the canteen. It was weekend and everyone can do whatever today and tomorrow.

Ah. Right. Maybe I should have invited Lucas. But pretty sure he's still sleeping though. It's only 10am right now.

...

Lucas... I wonder if, I can still say I liked him. I forgot about him.

No. I just, never hoped to receive any kind of that feelings from Lucas. It's not like I was betraying or anything.

Why would I put my loyalty to someone who I wasn't even in a relationship with?

Right... I never planned to confess to him even. I just, don't want to, never think of it and never hoped for anything more.

I was just happy to stay as a close friend to him.

And, that made my feelings stay as it was, not growing too much.

I was only scared to lose him forever, but, I no longer worry about that.

And that made my feelings for him dulled over time.

...

No... I was just, self rationalising my actions and feelings.

I felt like a bitch as I cheated on him. What is wrong with me?

No... Maybe its because, I know he deserves my feelings more than anyone else, and I do care for Lucas.

But, Ars need to be cared for more after what happened to him.

And yet, I-

We eventually reached the canteen, stopping my deep thoughts.

The breakfast was fine. It was simple toast with half cooked egg, sausages, scrambled egg, and orange juice.

This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.

We didn't say a word as we eat together.

Eventually we finished up and went back to our room, laying down on our own beds.

"Bell".

'Yes?'.

Ars came forward closer to me, climbing on my bed.

I moved aside to give him space as he lie down next to me.

He held my hand with his, gazing into my eyes. Then he moved his hand under my necklace to remove them.

He intently gazes at the changing colours of my eyes. Perhaps, he prefers me this way.

His face came closer to me, kissing me again.

'Ars...', his name escapes from my mouth as emotions swells up inside me.

We hugged each other, sharing our warmth.

"My family...", Ars spoke.

I waited for him to continue as I hug him gently.

"They were... Killed".

"My friend, Anna, she-".

I take a look at Ars. He was holding back his tears with his eyes looking away from me. Understanding the burden he had, I hug him even closer.

'I will be here for you, Ars', I told him.

Tears already flowed down his eyes, wetting the pillow beneath.

I feel bad for him. He really needs help. He was hurting all alone.

After awhile, he eventually calmed down.

"Demons...".

"They were back".

"They killed everyone I loved..."

"They killed my parents, my siblings...".

"They killed Anna... I can't do anything. I am weak. I am useless. Why am I left alive?".

'Ars...'. Listening to his story, I can't help but hold him tighter.

Demons. The last time there were seen were thousands of years ago. They were much like humanoids, like elves, dwarves, and sea dwellers and others.

But they were ruthless. They were power hungry. They crave blood and authority. Its just, how they are. Their nature.

Even though we called them demons, they came from another world. Much like portal to dungeons, they came from a portal appearing one day. It all starts with the advent of a demon king and then come his armies.

The war with the demons won with humanity's victory thousands of years ago. That was also why back in those ages great mages appears, due to the need for powerful people. And no demons was sighted since then and people nowadays already don't care about demons as it was peaceful times.

However, I believe in Ars.

Perhaps, the info was kept secret and hiddened from the public. It would cause worry after all. And no one knows why now. And why they only attack Ars's village specifically. But because of that, they manage to keep it a secret.

'You don't have to go through everything alone, Ars'.

'I will be here for you. And, Lucas can listen to you too if you want to tell him'.

'And, you don't have to take responsibility for what happened. It wasn't your fault'.

I caresses his hand, before crossing them with mine.

"Thank you", Ars thanked me for believing his stories and listened.

"I wanted revenge. I want to kill him. I want to kill the demon that had destroyed my life".

Ars spoke with a much colder tone.

I don't know how to respond to that. After all, I worry about his safety. The demons were powerful than human beings and they could easily kill me, or Ars at our current level.

I can't even say I would help him with it. I just want to live peacefully. I don't want to get involved.

But, at the end of the day, once the demons invade even I won't be excluded. I would be forced to fight in the end. Still, for the time being, I want to help him cope with everything that happened to him.

His expression is now much relaxed after relieving part of his burdens. I want to be there for him.

We just hugged each other to sleep once more, comforting each other.

***

RING! RING!

I was awaken by the the ringing sound. Ars too, seems to be awake because of it. I released the arm hugging him and took the phone under my pillow.

It was Lucas. I picked it up and replied with a still half asleep state and voice.

"Hey Bell. Let's go for lunch. I am with Ian. We re waiting outside. You still sleeping?".

I looked towards the door, and sees a shadow underneath.

H-he was right outside!

Thankfully the door is locked or we might have get caught.

'A-ah I just got up. Ars too. Give us a minute'.

Both me and Ars was kind of panicking. But, we proceed to wash our faces and just went out.

"You guys still look half asleep", said Ian with a snicker.

Ian, suddenly opened his eyes wide while looking at me.

"Uhh... Did you guys...?", Ian was having wild fantasies after seeing a mark on my neck.

A grin appears on his lips.

Was it, here? I don't realise there is one! No, I don't check the mirror properly!

I understood what he saw through my past life experiences. I almost panicked.

I pulled up my shirt to try to cover them but it's to no avail.

'I-I think a bug or something bite me', I said hoping they just accept that.

"I see~ hahaha. It's okay I don't judge", Ian replied.

Lucas seemingly don't understand what Ian was implying.

"What do you mean Ian?", Lucas frowned.

'I-Its nothing Lucas. A bug bite me last night. Just ignores him. He's talking nonsense', I hurriedly replied.

"Oho~ Yeah I was just kidding". Ian winked at me and Ars. I feel so embarrassed and afraid we would get caught. No, Ian seems sure whats up.

I looked at Ars and he too, felt the same and can't say anything.

Thankfully Lucas didn't see the true hidden conversation we had, and simply accepts Ian was making some kind of joke.

...

Why do I care if Lucas know?

At the end, it was my own selfishness. Deep down, I wanted to fully give my heart to Lucas. But, I can't. I am afraid I would lose him forever if I ever admit to having that kind of feelings for him.

I should... Move on from him. Its unhealthy to have this kind of feelings towards him when I was, with someone else.

He is and will always be my best friend. Nothing more, nothing less.

I made up my mind about Lucas.

That, that's all we would ever be. I shouldn't be selfish for something that can ruin everything.

Maybe Ars didn't like really like me and just needed to vent out his frustrations, but at least until we re clear about our relationship I would stay with him.

***

We had lunch and went back to our rooms. Ars held my hand, wanting to cuddle again.

"Bell...", Ars spoke as we hug each other on his bed.

"I am not a bug...", Ars spoke out of nowhere.

'Pffffttt'.

A laugh escaped my mouth. Since when Ars can make a joke?

'Hahaha. Sorry Ars. I don't mean it that way. I had to make an excuse for Lucas and Ian'.

Ars too, chuckled hearing my response.

"Can you stay here with me?", he spoke with a soft smile on his lips.

'I will, Ars. I want to stay with you too...'. I want to care for him.

Perhaps, I had already gave a piece of my heart to him.

Maybe I pitied him at first. And then it was because he gave me the warmth that I lacked. Or rather, we shared them together.