Nothing special happens particularly the whole month. Though, my mind was bothered on something else. Or, rather, it was my heart.
On someone. Why I feel bothered by it nowadays?
I felt a longing for him. Its, weird that even though we sat next to each in class, went to eat together at the canteen, and hanged out or practice at one day or another and yet...
I wanted more.
And, because of this feelings I felt like I was walking on an eggshell everyday. That someday I will break again. That someday, he will push me away.
That someday, I can't even call him a friend anymore.
No. I wasn't afraid of rejection.
It's something worse. To be denied, to be invalidated. To be disrespected. To be called disgusting by the very person I cared about, the very person I had been with for a long time.
Something that had already happened before in my past life.
When I heard about a couple breaking up normally, I thought 'how lucky they are'. Sometimes I wonder, why back then we can't just 'break up' like normal people.
Since that time when he carried me on his back, my feelings seeped out.
Sigh.
But, perhaps it was just temporary. After all, no one has ever treated me as kind. The chances are, my feelings stems from my own loneliness and from the last relationship I had which was, abusive and traumatising.
Right. What was I thinking? Nothing good will come out of this.
It was still in the evening. Tomorrow is the weekends. As I laid on bed, I turned to my side trying to sleep and ignore the problem.
RING! RING!
My phone was vibrating. I take a look and see it was Jessy.
"Hello".
'Yeah, hi Jessy'.
"So umm, wanna hang out at the Shopping Mall? With my friends too, you know Sarah and Zoey? They really want to get to know you".
She reminds me of my bestie.
I regret not appreciating him more. When I was still heartbroken, he is the one who tried to help me. Listened to my rants. Seeing me crying.
But in the end, I cut contact with him and everyone. And before I could even resolve my trauma I was already in this world.
I should at least have said sorry to him before I left.
"Bell?".
I immediately went out of my daydreaming.
'Ah Jessy. Sure, I will join you'.
"Oh don't bring Lucas or Ars. It wont be fun. In 30 minutes at the shuttle bus okay?".
'Alright Jessy'.
I should hang out with Jessy more. And maybe new friends will be nice.
I took a bath and prepared myself for the outing.
As it was almost time, I placed my wallet and small bag into the dimensional storage.
"You are going somewhere?", Ars asked me.
'I am hanging out with Jessy and her friends'.
"Ah. Alright".
I walked out of my room. Staring at Lucas's door, I turned my sight away and went out walking towards the waiting point where the shuttle bus will come there.
***
"Bell, you are here!".
'Heyyyy'.
"Hello. I am Zoey".
"I am Sarah".
'Hi. I am Bell, nice to meet you guys'.
We introduced each other and talked about our attributes, where we were from, about the classes and stuffs.
The shuttle bus finally came. We get inside and it brought us in front of the large shopping mall at the Leisure Complex.
"Alright. First thing first, lets get ICE CREAMS".
We followed Jessy's lead to 'Freezy Eats', a popular ice cream store that sells shaved ice with syrups, fruits and ice cream toppings.
We made our orders, ordering 4 different shaved ice which was apple, mango, chocolate and strawberry flavours respectively.
"Hey Bell. I heard you were the one who made the Program for Water Bullet spell", said Zoey.
"Yeah, they say you said something about using small space or something".
'Oh that'.
I explained to them about the concept of water jet. They understood my descriptions.
Zoey had a fire attribute, while Sarah has lighting attribute like Jessy.
"They said water attribute was the weakest! But since you made the new Program it seems that no one think so anymore", said Jessy.
The waiter then came with both her arms holding into 4 trays at once and placed them neatly on our table. The waiter is really skilled to be able to carry that much in a single run.
Each of the shaved ice had freshly cut fruits, syrups of different flavour made from jams of the fruit. The strawberry one had grated cheese on it. While the apple one had caramel flavoured syrup on them. They look really delicious and majestic.
The girls took pictures of them with their phones.
"Its time for group photos!", said Jessy.
"Bell, come here closer".
Jessy pulled me in into the frame even closer. I smiled as she took the picture of us together.
Taking the spoon embedded into one of the shaved ice, I take a spoonful of the chocolate shaved ice.
The cold ice melts in my mouth. As it does so, coldness and taste of sweet milk chocolate permeate throughout my mouth. It was really, really good.
I take another spoonful of it along with some chocolate ice cream and some chocolate bits topping on it. The different textures of ice, creams, hard bits and different variant of chocolate makes it tastes heavenly.
'This is soo good!'.
I said surprised at the really sweet ice cream.
"Right!? We already went here 3 days ago cuz they had sales and it was WOW" added Zoey.
If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.
We shared all the 4 shaved ice of different flavours, taking each one with the spoon in our hands. They were all amazing.
"Rightttt. By the way...".
"How do you end up living with Lucas?", Jessy ask with a really curious and somewhat excited expression.
"They were roommates?", asked Sarah.
"Oh no no. BEFORE they came here they were living together". As Jessy said that both Sarah and Zoey leaned in closer to me to hear the explanation.
'Haha. Well, its a bit complicated. But, umm... both our parents had passed away so we end up living together somehow'.
"Oh", the word escaped from all of them.
After a brief silence due to the tragic short story, Jessy broke the silence.
"Well, you guys had each other right?".
'Yeah, we do...', I replied and memories of Lucas and me back in the village came into my mind.
'He taught me many things. How to hunt, how to cook, how to fish, how to-', I realised I ranted too much.
'Ah, maybe I speak too much'.
"UUUUUUU tell us moreeeee! How you guys live in the village?", asked Jessy.
Zoey and Sarah both leaned even closer as if agreeing with Jessy to want to know more.
'Well...'.
For some reason, I start to tell them about how me and Lucas lived in the village. The almost routine hunt, help to tend the farm, fishing sometimes.
I also told them about High Simon, and even told them about that time he said I was blessed by God saying he saw blue spirits surrounding our home there.
They laughed as I retold more stories told by High Simon.
They were surprised that I could use magic since I was 7. I showed them a miniature butterfly made from my threads of mana and made it flutter about our shaved ices.
"That's so pretty!", commented Sarah who look amazed at the small butterfly.
'Jessy, you were from the city right?'.
"Yeah. But its boring anyways. It's so dull. I wished I could lived in a village like yours that seems so much livelier".
We keep on chattering, telling stories about ourselves.
"Bell, by the way, are you close to Ars?", asked Zoey.
'Well, I guess? We were roommates'.
All three of them looked at me with shock.
"Y-you were roommates? I thought it was Lucas".
She seems like she wanted to scream.
"Sarah here actually like Ars. He keeps saying how handsome and hot he is", said Zoey while grinning.
"I-It's not like that! I mean, I admit I do had a crush on him but I know my normal face is not worthy at all", said Sarah trying to explain herself.
'Hahahaha', I let out a laugh.
'Well, understandable. He IS, hot. You know, many girls tried to talk to him and everywhere he goes girls would be looking at him. Even I had a crush on him the first second I saw him', I said nonchalantly.
"Sksksksk. Me too, to be honest", said Zoey.
"What? You never told me!", Sarah replied.
"Must be nice to be his roommate... and his body too...", said Jessy. Were she drooling?
"Hehe... I still have the picture", Jessy said while holding her phone. It was the picture she took when we were at the swimming pool in our swim suits. The girls all leaned closer with eyes wide open to see our shirtless picture.
The girls start to chatter and judge excitedly on Lucas's, Ars's and my body.
"Isn't that...too big?".
"Wow your legs looks so sexy and pretty!".
Various comments were made.
"I have another one to show", said Jessy while she giggles uncontrollably. She tapped on the display of her phone.
The picture was...
ART ITSELF. The angle of the shot, the lighting, the expression of the subject clearly expressed in the photo.
Ars was holding Lucas like a groom, with their eyes staring at one another with sincere emotions.
"OH. MY. GOSHHHHHH!!!", screamed Sarah.
"WHAAAAAAA THATS SO HOT", added Zoey.
'HOW DID YOU HAVE THAT PICTURE DON'T YOU FAINTED!?', asked me with mixed emotions and confusion.
"HAHAHA you don't know me. With my instinct I took out my phone from dimensional storage and quickly snap their photo. I get too excited though- hehe". She was still giggling and grinning to her ears.
We chatters some more before we went to the arcade and the casino. We spent hours there until we went to the last location, the clothing store.
***
'I-Isn't this the woman's section?'.
"C'mon, you have such a cute face just try them", Jessy handed me few pieces of clothing.
"THESE TOOO", said Zoey and Sarah as they too, had different cloth in their hands, not for them, but for me.
As they keep forcing me and even pushed me into the changing room, I gave up and followed their order.
Right, this is my first time exploring my femininity freely like this. It wasn't bad per say. Males clothing were dull anyways.
As the curtain to the changing room opened, an enchanting figure came to view. It was a simple blouse with a skirt and a straw hat. A casual look.
"Omg God bless my eyes", said Sarah.
I had to do a solo fashion show for all of them.
The curtain closed once again. And this time, as the curtains open it was a long sleeved beige turtleneck knitted sweater with slim fitted blue jeans.
"You look so cool! Like a model!", commented Zoey.
'I think I will take these'. I was satisfied with the current outfit. It looks really nice.
"NOW. TRY THESEEEEE", Jessy handed me-
I-isn't this a bikini?!
'N-nooo!'.
I immediately tried to get out of the changing room. However, the girls were blocking me!
"PLEASEEEE! JUST THIS ONE TIME".
As Jessy and her gang pleaded me, I have no choice but to succumb to their unholy desires.
The curtain opens once again, revealing my white smooth skin with a yellow rectangular cloth covering my chest, with a triangular cloth of the same colour on my waist.
*SNAP*.
'WHAT THE-', I panicked as I tried to grab Jessy's phone but she was too fast.
"EHEHEHEHEHE", she snickered and giggled like a maniac as she pressed the screen of her phone really fast.
I eventually used my threads of mana to pull her phone from her hands!
Looking at the phone to delete it, I was horrified.
____________
Lucas (Online)
[Jessy]:
-------------------
[Insert text here] [send]
____________
N-NOOOO. WHERE IS THE DELETE UNSEND BUTTON.
WTF THERE'S NO UNSEND FUNCTION.
PANICKING, I quickly typed on the the phone to explain to Lucas.
__________
Lucas (Online)
[Jessy]:
[Jessy]: Lucas please delete them they forced me to wear those! It's not what you think!!!
-------------------
[Insert text here] [send]
____________
'YOU!!!', I chased after Jessy who already ran away far away from a distance.
***
"I am so sorry Bell. I take the joke too far. I am really sorry", Jessy were making a sad face at me while we were waiting for the shuttle bus to come pick us up.
'Hmph!', I don't even want to see her face. It's so embarrassing. What will Lucas say? What if he hates me?
What if he finds it disgusting?
A mix of anxiety and embarrassment stirred in me.
After a brief silence, she spoke again.
"You know. I noticed in class your relationship with him, feels cold", she added.
"Like, it was different when I see you guys the first time".
...
She, was right about that. I just, stopped giving as much attention to Lucas. I stopped initiating any conversation. Stopped looking at him.
And, stayed away from him as much as I could. It was for my own sake. I don't want to get hurt. But... the more I try to stay away from him, the more it hurts.
"Do you, like him?", asked Jessy.
...
Huh?
Tears already start to form in my eyes. I can't hide my frustration and fear.
"I-I see...".
'I don't want to...'.
I don't want to ruin our friendship. Had my feelings always been like this? Why can't I keep it in? I am scared. I am afraid he will leave me. Fuck.
'He will hate me...', I muttered.
"Hey...".
Jessy suddenly hugs me tight.
"It will be fine. Lucas is not a bad person. If he is, that just means he is a piece of shit and you deserve someone better".
"You are cute, talented, smart and most importantly you have a big enough heart to like him so much you re worrying like this".
...
"If he ever hurt you, I will beat him up for you no worry!".
...
"You don't need a guy to live".
...
"And nothing happened yet! All is just fine right now!"
...
Zoey and Sarah who eavesdrops the conversation also joined in, as we form a group hug.
"Yeah if he take it badly, that was his problem! This is the 28th century already!", said Zoey.
"True. There's always better guys anyway. Ars is hotter right?", added Sarah.
In a way, their words were right. I didn't know how Lucas will respond yet. And yet, I was already thinking the worst outcome there is.
And even if that happens, it wasn't my problem. My feelings, were genuine. And I did care for him. But I am still afraid.
The shuttle bus finally came.
'Thanks...', I said to them for giving me many assuring words.
We get on the bus as it eventually send us to the front of our dorms.
"Hey, if anything bad happens, tell us okay?", said Jessy.
As if she forgot she was the culprit to make me feel so anxious in the first place.
Hmph! I was still mad at Jessy.
I walked out of the bus and towards the dormitory.
A lot of scenario ran inside my head about how Lucas will react to my picture.
Anxiously, I opened the door to the apartment, to see no one was around in the living area. It was around 10pm now, they were all inside their room.
As I opened the door to my room, suddenly the door of the room next to me opened.
It was Lucas. He was looking at me, as if he was waiting for me to come back.
"Hey".
"Want to come in?". Lucas asked me.
I nodded and went to his room. His roommate, Ian, wasn't there. It was just the two of us. I sat next to him on his bed.
"Hey, the 4nemo released a new song. Have you heard?", Lucas asked me.
'I haven't', I replied.
"Here". Lucas gave me one of his earphone. I took it and placed them over my ears as a catchy song with nice melodies enters my right ear.
"It's really good right?".
'Yeah, it is'. After a brief silence, listening to the music I made up my mind to speak about it.
... I should say it to him directly.
'L-lucas, Jessy sent you a picture, right?'.
Lucas looked at me before averting his eyes.
"She did. Y-you do look cute in them". Lucas spoke in a low voice, while scratching the side of his neck.
'E-eh?'.
After another silence, he continues.
"I mean, it suits you".
'I-I see. Thanks'.
"No worry, I will delete them", said Lucas while still averting his eyes.
That was, very anticlimactic.
He, didn't react badly at all. I was worried for nothing. Right. Lucas, is a nice person. He wouldn't even bother to invite to hang out with him like this if he find it unacceptable.
Perhaps, I overthink too much.
I feel relieved. In a way, its as if he accepts just the way I am right now. With no judgement. My worry was lessened by a lot.
We sat together listening to different songs. He asked me about what was I doing with Jessy and her friends and I told him about what we did and the nice shaved ice store.
Lucas looked really hungry as I describe the shaved ice with multiple toppings.
As late night comes, I said my goodbye to Lucas and went to bed. Ars was already sleeping.
Most of the heavy burden I carried was lifted. I feel very much at peace. I took my phone and texted Jessy, telling her everything was just fine and tell her how he reacts.
As I pressed the send button, I closed my eyes and fell asleep.