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After the event with that picture of mine, I have stopped avoiding him and treat him as usual. At least, I feel that even if he knew I had that kind of feelings for him or just my sexuality in general, he wouldn't react badly or anything.

But, I am not desperate or need him to reciprocate those feelings or anything. I think, I can't say I loved him that way, yet. After all, I would never let myself to do. I do like him though. Just a 'like'.

My heart is still wounded from my past. I can't open my heart enough to say I would love him.

I was just scared to lose him forever. That we wouldn't even talk or see each other anything. If you get what i meant. He is my bestest friend first and foremost. We had lived together for years even.

Staying as we do right now, I am happy enough really. I already gave up about having any of my feelings reciprocated anyways. I wouldn't even hope for it, at least for now. I don't need it.

***

It was just a normal evening. I don't know but, I think these days I have been hanging out with Lucas in his room a lot.

And with Ian too, naturally as he is Lucas's roommate.

Ian is a bit, too blunt I think. I mean, it's not bad. I kind of like it? He is praising me after all, and made me feel like I am attractive and boost my confidence even though his wordings and actions is a bit, umm, let just say I can see that it made Lucas uncomfortable. But he was just worried for me. But I am just fine with Ian really.

So, one day I was hanging out with Lucas in his room, listening to songs with him and studying with him.

Well... We both get sleepy later and, i slept next to him. I am not sure how long did I sleep but, a conversation woke me up.

"He looks really cute when he sleeps", Ian said as he gazes at the sleeping young figure, who had a smaller stature than most of men their age.

Lucas, who were sitting next to Ian on his bed, simply stay silent.

"Damn. It's already hard", muttered Ian.

Lucas turning his eyes towards that location on Ian's body, and felt uncomfortable with it.

"Man, don't think of him like that", said Lucas.

"But he's too cute. Damn I really want to bite him. Fuck. I need to do something with this".

I can hear Ian stand up from his bed and walk into the bathroom, before closing it.

The sound of the shower muffled whatever activity was going on in there.

The thought that, Ian was doing it there because of me made me feel, something stirring inside me.

I mean, I am a human being with desires too you know???

*Gulp*

I don't know how long should I pretend to sleep. Should I just wake up?

I start to pretend to slowly wake up and stretches. Lucas was looking at me.

'Lucas, what time is it now?'.

"Oh. Its already 11pm".

That's very late. I think I fell asleep at 8 something with Lucas.

'I will get back to my room. See you later'.

"Yeah".

I returned to my room and laid on my bed.

Where is Ars?

Just as I ask that in my head, Ars opened the door to the room.

He looks drained out. And his white shirt was drenched in his sweats. He just came from training.

Right. Ars trains really hard. Perhaps, too hard. He often went out immediately after class to train. Fighting the golem. Practicing using magic. And when he came back, he looks exhausted almost every day.

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He seems, desperate. I can't really understand why. But I don't think I should ask. Whatever the reason is, I feel like it has something to do with his burden.

Ars took off his cloth and covers himself with his towel.

His figure is no doubt, getting more attractive as he trains each day. Sometimes, my heart wavers. Especially tonight. I feel, the urge was coming from inside me.

I do think it's just normal to have a desire, especially in this teenage body. And, especially when someone you think really attractive is unclothing themselves in front of your eyes. And given that I have pent up my desires for a long time.

It's, natural to feel that kind of urge given the situation.

*Gulp*.

I swallowed my own saliva and turned my body sideways, facing the wall.

Ars opened the sliding door to the bathroom and soon the sound of shower came.

I think I will take a shower too.

Taking off the enchanted necklace, the white colour of my hair and the blue sapphire glimmer of my eyes returned. I went to the bathroom after Ars. I stayed slightly longer there this time. I have to. I am a human still.

As I finished my shower, I wore a set of soft loose pyjamas and laid on bed. I picked up my phone and browse the internet.

Internet here is quite limited. After all, the information is restricted and filtered by the Tower, the centre of information in Starshear. Still, I can see news of this artist or discovery of new magic or stuff.

While I was browsing, I noticed Ars was massaging his own shoulders, and later his own body. It seems that, his body is a bit in pain and exhaustion.

'Ars, you good?'.

"Yeah. It just ache a bit", Ars replied while still massaging his shoulders.

'Ars, let me give you a massage'. I feel the urge to help him ease his aching body. He is a good friend after all.

"Its okay. You don't have to. I don't want to bother you", Ars said refusing my offer.

'C'mon just let me help'.

I approached him and sat on bed with my legs crossing.

'Turn around'.

Ars turned around as I said it, facing his back to me.

I placed my hands over shoulders, pressing it firmly before letting it loose again.

'Is it alright?', I asked him.

"Yeah. It's nice".

After his shoulders, I went over his neck. And then towards his collarbones. The sides of his body. Afterward along his backbones.

'Ars. I think it will easier if you lay down'.

Ars agreed with it and laid down with his stomach facing downward.

He placed both his hands under the pillow, as he laid his head on them and closed his eyes feeling the comfort of the massages.

As I went over the same places again, suddenly Ars sat up.

He placed his hands on the end of his shirt, pulling them as he removes them completely. He simply crumpled it and placed it next to the pillow.

*Gulp*.

"I think it will be easier for you", he said as he laid down with the same position again.

His extraordinary back muscles was laid bare before my eyes. Short hairs were visible under his armpits.

I-is he seducing me?

T-this is too much.

But I can't just stopped massaging him, not after he actually even took of his cloth for me to continue.

I swallowed my saliva as I continue to press firmly onto his sides.

I proceed to press them firmly downward to his waist.

Down to his thighs. And down to his calves.

"My waist feels a bit...", said Ars. I massaged his waist a bit more, with more strength added to my prosthetic hands.

Ars suddenly turned his body facing upwards. Now letting the packs on his stomach laid bare to my eyes.

"Can you... continue?".

*Gulp*.

I swallowed another saliva. He looks like he had such a good time and liked the massage I gave him and wanted more.

I can't help but continue. My heart was beating fast like crazy.

Ars placed his hands under his pillow, laying his head on them closing his eyes comfortably again.

*Gulp*.

I started with his shoulders again. I was on top of him, with my knees as support. Seeing his face this close, with his eyes closed with a relaxed look on him-

T-This feels a bit-

Trying to suppress my unholy thoughts, I just focused on easing his aching body.

I pressed his shoulders firmly, and onto the areas of his collarbones.

I went to the sides of body.

*GULP*.

I pressed onto them and move closer towards his chest. His chest is really firm. As I pressed on the sides of them, it slightly twitches.

Ars is still closing his eyes with a really comfortable look on him.

I moved on to massage the sides of his body once more down towards his waist.

????

*Gulp*

H-his thing, was slightly firm and... pulsating.

"Sorry", Ars said suddenly.

'A-ah. It's fine. It happens'.

My unholy thoughts becomes even worse. But still ignoring them, now I pressed onto his upper thighs and calves.

I gave his toes a massage too, and his feet.

'I-Is it fine, Ars?'.

He opened his eyes to look at me while still laying there.

"Yeah. You re really good. Thanks".

'Welcome. It's no problem', I replied. As I thought I am going to finish up massaging his last toes, he spoke.

"Bell...".

I waited for him to continue.

"Do you want to, sleep here?".

...

Eh?

Eh?

My heart was pounding even faster. I...

I don't want to refuse.

My heart was stirred too much.

I nodded at his question.

As I did so, Ars moved his body slightly sideway, giving me space to lay down next to him.

I laid my head down on his pillow and then my body onto his bed. I turned my body sideways, looking away from Ars.

My heart, was beating insanely fast. I thought it will explode.

After sometimes, I turned to face stare at the ceilings.

I turned my head to see that Ars was, sleeping, I think.

He was not wearing a shirt, revealing his body bare. His hands were under his pillows with his body facing upward.

Its... really inviting. Its as if, he wanted me to embrace him.

A desire to touch him surfaced in me. I want him. I want to comfort him.

I hesitating placed my hand over his packs.

Although, I can't really feel the warmth from it as my hands can't feel it.

After sometimes, Ars turned his body around to face me. And with that, my hand is already hugging him. He moved even closer to me.

His hand placed over the side of my stomach.

I opened my eyes, to see that Ars was also looking at me with eyes full of desire. Or rather, he wanted comfort and warmth.

He wanted to relieve the burden he carries all this time. He need a place to temporarily reliefs all his burdens. And, as if I can understand him, I wanted to be that place for him.

His hand moved slightly under my shirt, touching my back.

His leg moved to cross with one of my leg, as he hugs me.

He moved his face closer to me. His lips, were pretty. The warmth from his breath caresses my face.

I received his lips with my own, sharing our warmth.

I think I saw a panel saying something. But perhaps, it was just my imagination. I simply ignored it.

That night, we both succumbed to our desires...