The next morning, Tartarus Squadron's combat walkers came back along with a few maintenance trotters that the scientists and support staff had taken to tag along. Lance and his boys were giddy, but playing coy, "You missed your chance, should have been there in person."

I tried talking to the others but they were all on their guards, either due to shame or sobriety. I will also fully admit I didn't have any friends there. I'm an asshole and when I'm working I usually want to be left alone; usually I'm the workhorse off to the side while the rest of the team is doing their thing together. So when I tried to ask them what had happened, they were like "This is the one time you actually want to talk? Fuck off, we have a day of work to make up."

I didn't want to attract attention pressing them for details, because I knew that if people were being this evasive they would be watching each other as much as they would be looking over their own shoulders. Eventually after work I had the idea to try and check the centralized backups of the blackboxes in the walkers and trotters that had gone out that day. Sure enough, all of the Tartarus walkers were encrypted but the maintenance ones still had the default password. I was able to copy them onto a personal databank so I could scrub through them back in my quarters where I wouldn't be observed.

But once I got back to my room I lost my nerve. I'm very ashamed of this, but I didn't watch the footage. I was scared. I knew that no matter what happened, I probably had months of quarantine with these people ahead of me. If I watched it now, I thought that all it would accomplish is make the rest of quarantine incredibly uncomfortable at best. So instead, I went to bed. I rationalized that after this was all over and I was safe there would be plenty of time to unpack everything. Plus, it was kind of nice to have something to look forward to in the future.

So the next morning I'm in the canteen eating breakfast and reading news updates on my tablet. Lance walks up to me and just drops a data stick right there onto the table in front of me. "If you wanted the footage you could have just asked, the camera in mine is way better!"

I'm trying not to lose my shit. Copying classified surveillance data without permission is generally frowned upon in the military community, especially during times of war. But obviously Lance knew what was up.

"What are you doing?" I asked, figuring he had me dead to rights so there was no reason to play dumb.

Lance leaned in and did the kind of big smile that made his front teeth poke out. "I like you, Buster. Know why? Because you're a pussy. I spend all day keeping these violent dipshits from killing each other, so for once it feels nice to have someone I can just walk all over whenever I want."

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"You're right, I'm a huge pussy. I didn't even open the files because I was so scared. And I don't want to watch whatever is on there, either. I'm not a threat to you, I'm not involved with any of this, I just forgot my place for a moment. It won't happen again." I said in a low voice, trying to avoid attention or being overhead.

"That's the problem, I want you to see this. Your biologics have killed more people than all four of us combined. But you still think that you're outside of all of this. That what you do is no different than any other day job. That because you talk and act a certain way that you are somehow better than or superior to people like us. If you were a human I would kill you for that arrogance, but since you are a citizen of the Nakunan Empire I have to let you live. So I settle for making you uncomfortable, because the worst thing you can do to a person with a comfortable life is make them feel uncomfortable. And you live a very comfortable life for a mass-murderer." Lance said with a confident smugness.

I didn't have anything I wanted to say that wouldn't be grounds for him to shoot me in self-defense, so I just kept my mouth shut and lowered my gaze.

Lance continued, "That's the other reason I wanted to give you this. I know that you're so whipped you won't do anything with this, and I want you to know that I know that. Because one day all this bullshit is going to be over and you're going to go right back to a world where people like you are allowed to think that everyone can't see them for exactly what they are. When that happens, I want you to remember this moment and your cowardice and I want it to humble you."

I should have stayed quiet. Let him savor his victory and get off on being a big man who got the last word in. But I'm me, so instead I stood up from my chair and looked down at Lance. His gigantic ears meant he was technically taller than me and he had the dense weathered musculature of an endurance athlete, but none of that changed that simple fact that I was a lot bigger than him in every way that mattered.

"What would you have said if I went with you when you offered? Would you still be doing this bitter ex thing and making a big show about how little you care? Because I'm going to be real: I think you wanted a friend and the fact that I want nothing to do with you really hurt. You're someone who is used to getting what they want and killing anyone who gets in their way, you have no idea how to handle someone like me when that's not an option."

Lance didn't miss a beat. "I didn't think of what I would say, because I knew you would say no and I was right. I will say, though, that I believe that accusations are confessions. Seeing the guy who eats every meal alone accuse me of wanting a friend definitely lines up with that."

I really wish I was better about keeping my mouth shut.

"Anyways, me and the boys have a lot of cleanup ahead of us so I guess it's time for me to hit the old dusty trail. Let me know what you think when you watch it, I was really surprised at what some of these people had in them. I'm sure you'll be surprised too." Lance said as he walked around me and left the room without looking back.

So, yeah, at that point I had to watch it. Just to know what I was dealing with.