Aster

I stared at the man across from me a bit stupidly. If I had to be honest, it was partly my fault that we were in this situation. When a therapist was mentioned yesterday, I hadn't exactly asked for clarification.

Mr.Rodgers, or Rodger, was an older man with a full set of white hair and blue eyes. He had wrinkles all over his face, and there was something about the way he smiled that seemed to put me at ease. He wore a set of military clothes but no armor. When he had first arrived in my room, he had taken everything in stride, only looking at my ears and then raising his eyebrows at Umbra for a moment. He had pulled a small table and chairs out of a spatial ring for us to sit at and even provided tea that was still steaming.

It had gone well for about fifteen minutes with us making light talk and Rodger telling me about himself. He openly stated that he was in grade three and wouldn't reach grade four unless they were extremely lucky, which I was interested in, but he didn't expand on. Rodger also spent a small time talking about the forty years he had served in the army and how he had decided to join the military's medical branch because of what he'd seen. I knew somewhat about what a therapist was, or at least what the books I'd read about them said they were.

In stories I really liked, where people became heroes and killed or defeated some evil beast, they always struggled with something inside themselves that a friend helped them out with. It ended up making them stronger in a vague way. A therapist who only showed up at the end of some of the books, from what I could piece together, was like that friend but had a class in the field. When it came to my turn to introduce myself, I was honest. He didn't seem to be surprised when I told him where I was from and who I'd grown up with, so I assumed he had already been told. The problems, or rather lack of understanding, started when I talked about my time in the forest.

“Aster, so from what you're saying, this is the sixth time you've almost died, but the first in the city?” Rodger asked.

I gave a nod. It was something that had nagged at me, so I'd gone through and tallied up all the close calls when trying to sleep. But looking back at what I'd thought had been a lot more than six wasn't that many times at all.

“That sounds about right unless you count falling two dozen out of a tree, but I only sprained my wrist in the end because Sandath, my friend, caught me,” I said, smiling at the memory. Kulni had really scolded me for trying to get that fruit.

Rodger let out a low humming noise and then asked, “You said you're fifteen, almost sixteen, correct? Are you aware that most, well, let's say, younger adults your age don't get as close to death as you do? Getting stuck in a snowstorm can happen and does in some of the villages that are further from cities, but some of the things you've listed are a bit unusual, but none of those events lessen what happened to you here.”

Tilting my head, I shifted the drink between my hands as I responded, “I guess not, but what happened felt like any other fight I've had recently, just one that we couldn't win.” Shrugging my shoulders, I took another sip of the tea. It tasted like raspberries mixed with honey.

“let's look at it a different way. You've talked a lot about fighting, and you do seem to enjoy it and hunting,” Rodger said, and I nodded my agreement. Fighting was exciting and helped me practice with my bow. “Okay, you also spoke about enchanting as well and seemed to find It enjoyable. Have you thought about making it a hobby instead of just working on a course? Or have you thought about picking up something else that is more on the mundane side? There are plenty of options out there, and with all of the excitement in your life, Aster, it can be beneficial to have a stable thing to do that you enjoy and can come back to. Something that you find relaxing.”

Tilting my head, I thought about his words before I responded. I found reading enjoyable, but it sounded like he was talking about something that I could actively do and work on. Enchanting was fun, and I planned to look more into it even after I left the academy, but that was more for utility and to create things for fighting and travel, not to relax. Writing crossed my mind, but it was just as quickly dismissed. I wouldn't have anything to write about that people would enjoy reading. Farming also crossed my mind, but it also was dismissed. It was too time-consuming and required a lot of land. It also seemed really boring. It was only after another dozen ideas had been crossed out that I thought of something that might work. Tailoring. The idea sounded a bit silly at first. Making clothes had to be challenging, but it also seemed fun and exciting. It wasn't just the act of sewing that seemed fun but the entire process of making armor and clothes.

I wanted to learn the entire process from hunting the animal, tanning its leather, and making them into shirts. Even metal working and crystal shaping sounded hard, but if I could learn to make a mask like the one I'd gotten for the flight suit, it would be amazing. Like enchanting, it would be for utility as well, but I could also do quite a few fun things with the skills that tailoring could give. I'd also brought up the idea of making clothes with Kulni once a long time ago. Still, there had been almost no books on the subject that were understandable for a ten-year-old, and I'd been a bit wilder then and had dropped the idea after messing with a bit of animal skin.

Looking at Rodger, I asked, “What about making clothes and armor?”

His brows raised in surprise, but he nodded. “That's a broad field and not precisely what I was hinting at, but yes, that sounds like a good hobby. A lot of families have businesses built around the creation of clothes, and as a hobby, it can be relaxing. From What I've heard, I suppose. '' Taking another sip from his tea, Rodger gave me a long look, then sighed and set his cup down.

“Aster, I'm going to be a bit blunt when I say this, but I can't see another way to explain this, and I can see that you don't quite grasp it.”

I wrinkled my nose at his words, but I held my tongue. It was only because I agreed with him, but it was still a bit rude the way he put it.

“From what you've told me about your past, you have a strong fighting spirit and seem to enjoy the art of combat, but what you don't see is that it'll eventually wear you out if it's all you do. I can see in your eyes that you've not killed another sentient being, and I hope you never have to, but that's an old fool's hope, not reality. Nothing has pushed you over the edge yet, but that doesn't mean nothing will in the future.

What I am saying and recommending is that you find things to do and hobbies that will ground you when you're feeling unstable or can't handle what's going on. I'm not talking about a way to progress skills or an escape from this world's problems but something you enjoy.” He finished by pulling out a small wooden dragon. It was crude but recognizable. “Everyone eventually will pick up a hobby. You just might need one a bit earlier.”

Taking in his words, I thought about them. Nothing came to mind, but I could think about it. I wouldn't admit to him that I didn't quite understand where he was coming from. I understood what he was saying but not the meaning behind the words. Still, I gave a nod and a smile. It was something I could look into, at least a hobby.

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The subjects after that changed from heavy to light as he asked questions and told a few stories. Eventually, after it seemed that we had run out of topics, he stood up. The sun had reached its highest point, and the room was getting a little hot.

“We're done?” I questioned, standing up as well. He stored the tea cups, chairs, and table with a tap on each item and then gave a smile that lined up with his wrinkles.

“Yes, Aster, while I expect a few bad dreams and some other effects from the fight to last for a time, you'll make a full mental recovery.”

Resisting the urge to roll my eyes and point out that I was fine and already healed, I shrugged mentally. It was at the request of Baldwin that he had shown up, and with nothing else to do until I returned to the Academy tomorrow, it was a good way to spend the day. He had also given me a bit to think about.

Making goodbyes, Rodgers left, and I was left alone with Umbra. With the heat coming in from the balcony, I went over to Umbra and her cool scales for a small nap. I wanted to go out today to pick up a few cakes or sweets that I hadn't been able to for Umbra when she awoke, but that could wait until after the worst of the heat was over. Being bonded to Umbra, who was a frost dragon, did really seem to give me a big aversion to the heat, something that had seemingly snuck up on me. It did cross my mind that it was only the start of summer and things would get a lot worse, but when Umbra awoke, I could at least rely on her to keep the area around her cold.

It was when the sun had dipped enough that the shadows were cast over most of the buildings that I left the tower after changing into more casual clothes, ones that Kulni had given me before I left. I hesitated as I arrived at the gate, pulling out the gold earring and looking down at it. I didn't want to be caught off guard again because I couldn't hear everything going on around me. I could already hear people talking on the other side of the wall, even with the noise muffling enchantment. It would get worse, but I had to get used to it at some point, right? Putting the earring away, I grimaced and rubbed my ears for the noise I knew was coming. The only peace I had was that it was late afternoon, which meant that there wouldn't be as many people out. Rubbing my ears, I tried to relax a bit and shake off any nerves I had.

Taking a last breath, I left the walls through the back entrance, passing the guards. Like the first time, it took a moment for the noise to hit, but when it did, it was like a wave of jumbled voices and the sounds of the city colliding. My hands were against my ears for a second, but for some reason, it was as bad as I remembered. The noises weren't muted or dulled, but somehow, they were slightly easier to ignore or place in the back of my mind. I stumbled for a step as I got used to noise as well as I could, and then, ever so slowly, I let my hands move away from my ears. I stood there for a moment as I tried to figure out what had changed. The only thing I could think of was my attributes. They had risen a not-so-little amount and even more since the boss fight and wraith. I didn't know off the top of my head which one might be helping my hearing, but it was one I would need to figure out soon and put quite a few free points into.

Turning around, I gave the guards a smile to let them know I was alright and then slowly made my way onto the street.

The closest bakery that made sweets was only three streets down, but the time felt like a walk to an outer wall and back as bells and wheels of passing carts had me wincing, but I was able to make my way to the bakery.

I glared up at the bell that rattled as I walked in and closed the door slowly to stop it from making the noise again.

The only other person in the store was an older woman in a stained baking apron with graying hair who sat behind the counter. She gave a smile as I walked up, but she paused as she took in my ears and tail, seeming to recover after a second as she spoke.

“Afternoon dear, how can I help you?”

“How many cakes do you have left? Any type works. Oh, also, if you have any seasoned bread loaves left, I'd like those.” My question seemed to baffle her, but like most traders I'd met, the idea of coin had her all business.

“Well, we currently have two unfrosted cakes left that I'd consider fresh from this morning, and there are a few loaves of seasoned bread that weren't bought as well.” She responded.

“I'll take whatever’s left,” I said, thinking about the few cakes I still had in my storage and missing the slightly confused look she gave me.

The cakes would mostly go to Umbra along with the others I still had, but on the way here, I'd realized that stocking up as much as possible on food would be a good idea for the upcoming adventure course exam that was taking place in the forest. There was still the dried meat from home; I still had plenty of, but the bread was always nice with any meal, and inside spatial storage, it would take months, if not years, to go bad. There was the fact that my spatial storage gem was only about half full at the moment, so I still would have plenty of room left if anything else were needed.

The thought of various foods gave me pause, and I mentally added a note to myself that learning to cook or getting a few skills in the profession might not be a bad idea for when I was going to go exploring with Umbra after all this.

The woman who had gone to the back of the bakery returned, laying out six wonderfully smelling wrapped packages. Getting to the worst part about buying stuff, I didn't try to haggle and just paid the twenty silver she started with and stored the food. The price sounded fair, anyway.

The sounds on the street had died down mostly when I left the shop, with only a few people on the street left. The sun was giving the final glow in the sky as it dipped beyond sight. I stood for a moment, enjoying the lack of any deafening noises and the sight of the sun going down without the heat pressing down on me. I smiled slightly. For all its faults, I enjoyed being in the city and around humans and elves. I was learning lots, way more than I thought possible, and well, if I had to be honest with myself, besides the politics that I didn't care to understand, I was having fun and making friends. The biggest problem was Umbra not being able to participate. The thought of it caused a tiny amount of anger. That was going to have to be sorted, or I'd be leaving.

The slight splintering of wood across the street had me jolting out of my thoughts and jumping as I looked at the roof. Nothing was there, but the fur on my tail stood up slightly as I looked at a piece of a tile as it fell off the roof. I stared at the roof for a long moment, wondering what had caused the piece to break off and fall, but nothing stood out. After a long moment, I took a steadying breath and looked around, feeling slightly embarrassed. Freaking out over old wood breaking wasn't something I would normally do. It really told me how wound up I had to be. I made my way back to the tower maybe a bit quicker than usual, and after checking on Umbra, I let myself fall into meditation for an hour before I went to bed.

Waking up and getting ready for the academy in the morning, I enjoyed the weather: a light drizzle and an overcast that made the day cooler than it would otherwise be. Baldwin was downstairs, but he only gave me a glance, which I returned with a nod before he continued to read a scroll.

Making my way to the academy was enjoyable, if a bit harder than usual, without anything to dampen everyone around me. Walking through the gates, I made a direct path to the dorms, and I knocked on the door to mine and Kat's room. While I had the provided key to the room, it was more of a respectful thing since I didn't stay in the room that often anymore. A long second passed, and I was worried for a moment that she hadn't thought I was coming today. We hadn't talked since she had sent the message, and I hadn't really thought of what to tell her, so maybe it was for the bes-. My thoughts were put on hold as the door clicked and opened. It only took a glance for her before she darted forward and hugged me. Kat's hug was warm but not like a hot day. Instead, it was enjoyable and somehow soothing.

“You're an idiot. We all are. I don't know how any of us lived through that. I tried to visit you but apparently were not allowed in the tower.”

I almost let out a relieved sigh. If she had been allowed in the tower, she would have probably figured out about Umbra. While I felt bad keeping her a secret, it wasn't just my secret to give that, and she was still advancing in grade. “Well, I'm happy I'm back, and I feel fine if a tiny bit tired,” I said, letting go of the hug if a bit reluctant.

“Come inside. I have notes on the courses, and I have a few questions, like why did a Dragon Bond call you Lady Aster?” Her eyes sparkled with amusement and curiosity, but I grimaced slightly at her words. Not every secret had been kept.

I followed her inside, rubbing one of my ears as I thought of what I would tell her