Bubbles is rolling along happily, eating basically whatever he rolls onto, and I'm following him, although with quite a bit more caution.
[Where's he going?]
[I don't know enough about monsters in this universe to be totally sure. Do you want me to go check the Cosmopedia?]
[You mentioned that earlier. What exactly is it?]
[It's essentially an encyclopedia containing all the information on every creature that the Cosmic family has ever encountered. Needless to say, it's a little large, and it can take some time to find what you're looking for.]
[Hmmm... Go ahead. I think I can take care of Bubbles for a while.]
[If you say so.]
I can feel Joule leave my head. It's as strange a feeling as the first time it happened, like a stream of liquid flowing out the back of my brain.
As I shiver, Bubbles looks over curiously and burbles with concern. I nudge him with a mandible, sure to let him know that I'm fine.
It takes me a moment to realize where we are. Which is to say, I don't know where we are. We're next to a huge cliff with a massive hole carved into the bottom, with the forest to our backs. The cave is emanating a strange aura, as if it wants us to stay away.
Naturally, Bubbles rolls straight in.
[Bubbles! Get back here!]
Oh right, he can't hear me.
Running into the cave, I can see the slime rolling and jiggling along the rocky ground, heading into the deeper and darker parts. As I follow him, I notice gouges carved into the surface of the walls, floor, and ceiling. It looks like this place had been hollowed out.
I can't catch up to Bubbles. He's rolling downhill now, and he's loving the increased speed. As I run down the slight incline, I can start to see some light at the bottom.
That's... unusual. There shouldn't be any light this far underground. And come to think of it, how was I able to see anything in the darkness? I attribute it to an upgrade and shove it to the back of my mind.
Leaping forward, I skid on the underside of my carapace and grab Bubbles in my mandibles.
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[Got you!]
Suddenly, I hear the intake of a huge breath, as though some monstrously large creature was about to attack.
"TREMBLE BEFORE MY AWESOMENESS, PUNY ANT - oh wait, you're actually an ant."
I look up and see... it takes me a moment to process.
There's a hill of coins made of a variety of materials, gold being foremost among them. Scattered on and around the hill is a lot of different gemstones, many of which are glowing. I don't really notice them though, because I'm too occupied staring at the creature lying on top of it all.
It's massive, first off. From its horned skull to its spiked tail, it's probably about three hundred feet long. It's covered in orange ridged scales the size of me, and its hooked wings flare briefly as the creature shifts on the pile of wealth. Its yellow eyes are filled with boredom, and maybe a little annoyance, and its enormous claws are picking up gold and sifting it repeatedly.
This thing could kill me without blinking.
"I'm sorry, is there something that your species finds insulting? 'Puny ant' doesn't really feel right when you're actually a puny ant."
..What?
[Can you hear this?]
"OF COURSE I CAN HEAR YOU, YOU SPINELESS - oh darn, that doesn't work either."
What in the world is this thing talking about?
[What are you asking?]
"Well, normally when a thief shows up, I insult them with sheer intimidation before I eat them."
[You're plenty intimidating without the insults.]
The creature preens, raising a paw to its neck and posing.
"I'm well aware of that, but the insults really rub it in. So! Once again, is there anything ants find insulting?"
I have to think about it for a moment.
[Nothing comes to mind.]
"Nothing? Are you sure? At this point, I'd even take a bad nickname."
[...Leroy, I guess.]
"It's not much, but I can work with it. All right, let's start this over."
It sucks in a breath, the coins rattling from the pressure, and its eyes glow as it flares its wings impressively.
"FOOLISH LEROY, YOU - oh, who am I kidding, that doesn't work at all."
The creature slumps in disappointment and flicks a metal statue across the room. It crashes into the wall and snaps in half. I try to ignore it as best as I can. Clearly, the only way to get out of this is to talk my way out.
[Have you been doing this for very long?]
"Centuries! Every time some puny human or goblin tried to steal my hoard, I insulted them to death!"
[You didn't just crush them?]
The creature thinks for a moment. "Well, I suppose stepping on them after an insult doesn't quite count as a deadly comment. Anyways, do you have a preference for how you die?"
[Not especially, no. I'd rather not die at all.]
It frowned indignantly. "Not die? But you would have the honor of being crushed by me, the mighty Kerem! Are you quite sure you don't want to be crushed?"
[Certain, yes.]
It exhales in annoyance, and the breath feels boiling hot. "Well, we have to work something out. You want my gold, after all."
I tilt my head. What's it talking about?
[Why would I want your gold?]
Kerem's a little thrown.
"Why would you - why wouldn't you want my gold? Its luster, its shine, its inherent value! Brigands and bandits used to come from all over the world to steal my hoard!"
[I have absolutely no use for any of it. And I haven't seen a human the entire time I've been alive.]
Its mouth opens.
"None? Not a single one? But my - has my hoard been forgotten?"
It looks like it's about to cry. Where's Joule when you need her?