Alice and Baby are looking over a thin sheet of paper, looking rather pleased with themselves.

[What is it?]

Baby looks at me and smiles for the first time since I ate the bandits' leader. "So, we're going to have a slight detour before we get to Xylphys." Dylan looks up at that. "What? Why?"

Alice holds out the paper, which is covered in green and blue splotches. It's not very interesting, but it seems to be carefully drawn, so I'll avoid insulting it. Dylan seems suitably impressed, however, and squints at it. "If we're here, and that's there, then... wait, is Barabar getting closer?"

[I thought Barabar was a town.]

The two more powerful humans grin at each other. "It is. Oh, and you might want to plug your ears. We just hailed them with a level four alert, so it might land a little loudly." They cover their ears, and I tilt my head. [Why exactly would we need to-]

A pillar of wood capped with stone slams into the ground a hundred feet in front of us with an earth-shattering crash. The pillar's at least four hundred feet around and extends far into the sky, its origin concealed by clouds. Baby and Alice sprint straight for it, yelling as they did. "Move! It'll only be here for a few minutes!"

Dylan starts running for it, and I grab the lead rope tied around the bandits and run towards the pillar. I have no idea what's going on, but weirder things have happened to me, so I've learned to go with it.

[These readings don't make any sense!]

Joule's voice is a strange mix of confused and impressed. I'm not sure when she dissipated her form, but I don't really pay attention to whether she has a form or not.

This book's true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience.

[What is it?]

[That column. It should have destroyed the entire area we're in if I'm quantifying the mass it's attached to correctly. Moreover, it shouldn't be able to support that amount of weight either way.]

[What do you mean?]

[...You're going to have to see it for yourself.]

Baby makes it to the pillar and throws open a door, waving us in as he does. "Go go go, we've got thirty seconds left!" Jumping forward, I drag the bandits through the air with me as I tumble into the doorway and roll to a stop before standing.

[What's going on?]

It's then that I notice where we are.

Somehow, we're not inside the pillar anymore but are standing on a ledge looking over a wooden construction larger than my entire forest. Massive sweeping arches and supporting pillars were prevalent, holding up areas that I can see a variety of creatures and humans lounging around on. It's essentially a valley, with an enormous lake in the dip of the center. I can see several wooden objects floating on it, more people crawling all over them.

[What is this?]

Alice smiles wider than I've ever seen her, patting my carapace. "This is the Travelling Tavern. Welcome to Barabar, Null. You'll fit right in."

Turning around, I can see the door that we just entered through disappear, fusing into the wooden wall as if it had never been there. I'm not unduly worried. Crawling up the wall to check our surroundings, I'm sure I can just hop off if I need to.

Looking over the edge, I promptly realize that I most certainly can not jump off. I can see clouds far underneath us, more of the wooden pillars slowly moving through them and leaving a trail.

Joule whistles in my brain. [Wow. This is pretty impressive.]

Moving back over to our group, I can see the bandits look a little worried as the two biggest humans I've ever seen lead the raggedy men away, one of the monoliths handing Alice a bag that jingles. Looking inside for a moment, she grins and then tucks it somewhere in her vest, noticing me.

[Joule says this is impressive.]

The cat-human bows happily. "It sure is. And it's all thanks to a very special fellow who I can't wait to introduce you to." I tilt my head. [Who is it?]

Before she can answer, a portion of the floor distorts, lifting up into the air while staying firmly attached to the ground, the wood slowly morphing into the shape of a humanoid wearing a long cloak. A strangely menacing aura is coming off of it.. Alice seems startled. "Actually, this is him. Null, meet the Woodsman."