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The Mortal Ingredients
Chapter 11: Expletives and Machinations

Chapter 11: Expletives and Machinations

When we left subspace, I had expected the room to be overcome with guards, but it had appeared that Judgment’s security measures were as tough as it had claimed them to be.

The red warning lights occupying the elevator turned into a calm blue once more, signifying the release of emergency protocol.

“Head Researcher Teramoto, huh?” Judgment mused into my ear after I pressed the lift button. “I guess your skeptical nature ended up aiding you in this instance.”

“Is it just me, or have you become rather fond of discrediting me in the past day?” There was a brief silence as Judgment ‘contemplated’ the question.

“I am a sentient AI. Never having the ability to communicate with another sentient being, I hadn’t picked up the minutia of human conversation before. So thank you, Master, for allowing me to achieve the growth which I had thought impossible.”

The elevator doors opened as an 8-bit version of Lucina’s face smirked at him in AR. Or rather, an eight bit version of Judgment using Lucina’s face. Can’t you have a little more class and craft your own persona to use instead of using the face of someone I have intercourse with on a semi-regular basis?

“Until further tests are run, and more interactions between Master and other people are observed, I cannot deviate from what you have already proven that you are attracted to.”

How would you even go about calculating something like that?

“I am glad you asked, Master. You see, it all starts with recording the duration of time your gaze lingers on a certain part of a person’s body when you are talking with them. Then, from among those features, those which cause minute rises in your heart rate, and how the trait is physically represented among those people. After that-”

Thanks. On second thought, I don’t really need to know. You would just be wasting your words on a savage like me.

“... I sense sarcasm in your inflection, Master. My sensors indicate that there is a 68% chance that you believe my explanations are a waste of your time, and a further 32% indicates that you think my reasoning is creepy.”

I rubbed my eyes but said nothing as the elevator took me back up to the main floor of Redleaf Palace. Upon opening the door, I was greeted by a livid Queen Cindy and a less-than-happy King Roger, accompanied by a dozen armed security guards.

“My Queen.” I gave a slight bow and when I looked up, I could see the queen’s lip twitching in barely controlled rage.

“Joshua… what did you do to my son?” Somehow, her completely calm voice made me shiver more than an enraged one ever would have.

“My Queen, you are the one who told me to do with him as I would see fit. It is no fault of mine that you entrusted your son to a murderer, or did you forget what I did to Gazix?” Who the fuck did she think she was to get mad at me? She gave me permission, and even more, I actually produced results.

“I am not questioning the validity of your methods, Paladin. I am simply inquiring as to what act you performed to make his vitals bottom and spike so rapidly? Our cameras and audio equipment suddenly cut out as soon as the elevator door opened with you inside. You wouldn’t happen to have any idea why, would you?”

“Not a clue.” I replied immediately on the heels of her words. “However, I did manage to get myself quite the lead to look into, so I’ll be in the city checking the truthfulness of the information that I have obtained. I’ll contact either Lucina or Reya when I'm done, so be ready to call a debriefing for the royal family. See you later.”

I strode through the confused looking guards, a king with a tired expression on his face, and a queen trying to save face about the abysmal state that her son was currently in under her watch.

“Don’t just stand there, go down there and recover my son!”

“Yes, Ma’am!” Resounded the soldier’s voices. They flooded the elevator and soon the pod was filled to capacity, with only two guards still left outside of it.

“Chika and Jika, you stay with the king and I. The rest of you, bring my son to the royal surgeon! If he doesn’t make it, you’re all fired!”

The ten guards in the elevator saluted as the doors closed, at which point the queen turned back to face me. “We are going to have a discussion about this later. Mark my words.”

I waved a hand back at her and strode out the castle doors. It took a while before I finally felt that we had no chance of being watched by castle personnel anymore, and let out a long sigh.

Well that was far more eventful than I would have liked. We had made our way onto the streets of Rong, the Metron Kingdom’s capital. Like the other couple of times I had been let loose on the streets, vendors were everywhere, trying to sell their tech out of whatever vehicle they could afford.

“Don’t lie to me, Joshua. We both know you thrive on the chaos and lustful violence of any given situation.” I stiffened at Reya’s voice, and turned around, expecting to see the ambitious crown princess.

However, I soon came to the realization that I was only thinking before, and thought to myself, judgment?

“Yes, Master? How can I help you?”

Judgment, why are you using Reya Metron’s voice to speak to me right now?

“Because, Master, I didn’t realize you had not cut off all respect for that girl. Even going so far as to name her as one of the two people you would get in touch with should anything happen during the Teramoto investigation. I thought maybe a reminder of her would soothe your soul.”

No, you insufferable AI. I only told the Queen that because both Lucina and Reya are the only royalty present in my directory. How am I supposed to get in touch with the Queen of a country otherwise?

“You could have me directly link you to the queen, bypassing the requirement for a friend invitation.” I shook my head in unabashed awe.

And risk them finding out that you are even more omnipotent than we already let show? No thanks.

“Why do I need to hide my powers, Master? Should I not be utilized to the furthest extent that my powers enable you do so? It seems foolish to not single-handedly crush enemies that you have, if you indeed have the power to accomplish such a feat.”

You really haven’t grasped the concept of subtlety, have you, Judgment? Say that I actually take use of your powers and put an end to the wars, and the terrorism, and any other evil that pops up in the world. What do you suppose happens next?

“With the proper amount of time and planning, you could rise to become the next great emperor of the planet Ethia.”

No, no, no. If we get rid of all the sources of chaos in the world, then all eyes will be focused on me, for better or worse. Humans cannot live without discord. It is something intrinsic to our very beings.

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“So what will be your plan then? Let them roam free although you could be doing more to actively stop them and reign in a new era of peace?”

I paused in my tracks, causing several dissatisfied murmurs as people started moving around me, busy to get on with their day. Their matters were, of course, more important than my own, as all humans think they are more important to society than strangers.

That’s exactly what my plan will be, Judgment. Only, it’s not merely chaos. It will be controlled, one way or another. Even if I have to do it from the shadows.

“Why not just let the world experience peace?”

Because ‘everlasting peace’ is an idealist fabrication. Humans cannot change their inherent nature. At least, most humans. They are far too weak willed for that. Longing for change but not willing to put in the time or effort because it inconveniences them. It makes me disgusted.

“Master…”

So no. Even peace is a concept built on a foundation of violence and conquest, and it is that very foundation that sows the seeds for more violence and discord. Frankly, other humans, especially those who cannot view themselves or their actions objectively, are not worth my time.

“I see. In the case you are being serious, and not letting your frustrations with the Metron family speak for you now, I suppose we should keep the bit where my system doesn’t place any restrictions on you a secret, shouldn’t I?”

I rolled my eyes and continued walking down the long, neon-lit streets.

---

“You have a real penchant for this, Master. What is this, the second time you’ve run into a princess trying to meet Mr. Teramoto?”

“What did you say?” My left eye twitched as I spoke to the tall figure in front of me. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. If this was the queen’s idea of a joke…

“I said that you have been drafted into a special unit with me as your boss. It’s nice to meet you, cadet.” Lucina Metron, the Second Princess was waiting for me in front of the scientific district.

Despite her jovial tone when she repeated her message, her frown was growing more and more apparent on her face.

“Why are you in a bad mood? You just got a promotion from being a lowly princess into the superior of a Paladin. I’d have figured you to be at least somewhat happy about that.”

“Babysitter, more like.” Lucina pulled the militaristic cap off of her midnight black hair, and brushed her bangs to the side before replacing it.

The woman herself was in full military garb, which consisted of a gunmetal grey bomber jacket that was open halfway, allowing for a generous gaze at Lucina’s impressive bust. Under the jacket was a green tank top, and green overalls attached by orange suspenders. Combat boots had graced her feet, and Lucina’s naturally sharp eyes made her look the part of a domineering captain.

Ok, I could get upset at her being a complete and utter baby when it comes to handling responsibilities, but that sounds counterproductive as all hell. Time seemed to slow down around me and I realized that Judgment had started to dilute time for me.

“Correct, and you may forever close the gateway you have created to her heart.” Judgment echoed in my ear.

Where did you even learn that phrase? Also, what are you talking about? I’m pretty sure she never saw me as more than sexual relief in the first place.

“If you say so, Master. By my records, she was-

“I’m sorry.” Lucina spoke suddenly, causing judgment to hit pause on its information. “I’m not actually upset at you. I… I hated being in the military. I’d been there since I was sixteen, and retired at 26. A decade of service can really fuck you up, and I thought I was finally done with that.”

Wow. This has nothing to do with me whatsoever. Does she think I want to hear about her life? How self absorbed.

“Master,” Judgment started, “I could understand that reaction if it was the king or queen you were speaking to, or even Reya who tried to manipulate you. However, Lucina has done nothing wrong, even going so far as to give you her Kingdom Key-”

One which she gave to me for obviously politically charged reasons.

“Then what were those reasons, Master?”

She wanted me to be indebted to her, and even to have a debt owed to her family. I could have just refused the offer, but she knew I needed it and-

“How did she figure out your plan if you only consulted me about it?” That one made me pause. Because…

“Please, Master. Just admit that you are being hard-headed and foolish on this matter. You have someone who potentially cares for you, and you’re trying to find every excuse that you can to make sure that you don’t accept them.”

I didn’t need you to analyze me like that.

“No, but due to your brain scans, I can tell that you don't have any lingering brain damage. Which means there are only two other things that can be attributed to your compromised morals. The first, is that you have always been this way from the start, but due to the societal structure of your country, you could never be yourself.”

“The second would be that it is the fault of the old-world antidepressants that I inject you with every morning. As such, I am going to take a precautionary measure and remove you from the drugs entirely starting next week. This first week will be lowering the dosage to acceptable levels.

You can’t just- I started, but time had already returned to normal, and Lucina was staring me in the eyes, worry and a slight hesitancy on her face.

Shit… how do I…? “Ah, is that how everybody wears their uniform?” I pointed to her half-open shirt, and the princess’s eyes opened wide.

Finally, she blew out air and started laughing. “I knew I liked you.” She said in between gasps of breath. “No, if you must know, it isn’t regulation. However, neither are we. We are under the direct control of the Crown, and therefore, do not have any superior officers. Therefore, I will damn well do as I please with my uniform.”

“Point taken, ma’am.” Lucina shivered and turned around, not wanting me to see her flushed cheeks.

“Alright, Joshua. Who are you trying to arrest here?”

“One Mr. Teramoto. First name unknown, to me at least.”

“His first name is Han. Han Teramoto.” Judgment chimed in, and I relayed the information to my now commanding officer.

“Great. Let’s infiltrate the compound. I’ll hold the perimeter, while you head down and see if you can get him yourself.”

“Yes Ma’am.” I said, and gave her a stiff salute before walking towards the front door of the lab.

“What changed with you? I thought you hated being on the receiving end of an order?” Judgment asked, suspicion, or at least, what I thought was suspicion in its voice.

Well, you see, it’s not really taking orders. I was going to do these things anyway. Besides, she understands that her role is basically paper thin, and she doesn’t hold any real sway over what I do. But to top it all off…

I turned back to her, and saw a crooked grin accompanied by a blush on her face. She’s probably thinking about how much stimulation she’ll get out of our role reversal at this moment.

---

“Well… I think you could have done better.” I spoke to Head Researcher Teramoto as he was slightly limp in my arms.

We had arrived to find a slightly empty base, and only Teramoto and a few of his closest confidants were in the large room where I had first received my suit.

Of course, that hadn’t been all. He also had rows upon rows of things that he called Doomechs, small, bipedal machines with no arms and a robust body that housed a few cameras each. They had been quite menacing, what with their flamethrowers and buzzsaws, but all Judgment had needed was a few seconds to shut them down through the very system that ran through their mainframes.

Needless to say, that hadn’t been his only plan. A pit had opened up below me long enough for me to utter a string of choice words at the scientist, but it turned out that had just been an illusion created by another bot behind me. The, ‘Hyp-no-matic,’ as he called it. Yet, even that ended up as useful as a bag of dicks after Judgment was through with it.

His final plot had been to spring his war droids that were posing as fellow researchers onto me, but even that had ended before it had truly started. “Our synchronization has gone through the roof, Master. I surmise we shall be unlocking more of our potential soon.”

We have level up restrictions? Almost forgetting myself in Judgment’s lackadaisical pace, I looked back up, and reached out for Teramoto with my hands.

After seeing his work crumple into a scrapheap, Teramoto had willingly given himself up. He was currently floundering in my arms while I brought him into the lobby of the research lab. I set him down and asked, “So, let’s cut the bullshit. I know you have an inn with some terrorists, and you know I can make you sing like a god damned canary. So tell me before I have to exercise tho-”

My sentence was cut short as a glob of spit hit my face, and slowly rolled down my neck before Judgment purged the matter from my skin. “Alright, fuck it.” I sighed, and held Teramoto’s forehead with one hand. “The Prince Brice experience it is, then.”