They were here. It was about three weeks after Wukong came home.

All the allied forces were in place. Only about 2,000 total. A token force in a battle of this magnitude. But they would play a pivotal role.

I introduced the concept of name tags, and had them created for each of the soldiers, mostly for our allies. None of them knew the full plan. The least we could do was try and get their bodies back home.

Including our allies, our army numbered around twenty-two thousand troops. Most of ours were stationed in the palace, ready to activate traps and hurl weapons down at the enemies.

However, some brave soldiers volunteered to be our feet on the ground. These teams focused on mobility and harassment. Once the war officially started, they’d target enemy food supplies and steal whatever armor and weapons they could get their hands on, and set the camp on fire for good measure. They had the highest risk of getting captured or killed, but they each had invisibility tokens they can activate to escape, and extensive knowledge of the island. They could get away and hide for as long as necessary.

And finally, our food supplies. If we rationed it out carefully, we had enough to last us about a year. Hopefully we could get food production up and running in the palace before then. The agriculture and research divisions were currently working together on it.

We were ready as we were ever going to be. The enemy has set up camp to the south of the mountain, which offered the most direct route to the entrance. It was also our most heavily fortified area, carefully crafted to look completely mundane.

The enemy had raised a flag to parley. Probably to deliver an official declaration of war. Wukong and I were forming a party to meet them.

Wukong and I were both going, along with General Ma. The other three generals would stay behind and organize the defense in case something happened to us.

I straightened out my dress one last time. It was looser than what I usually wore, to free up my movement if if came to a fight. I was also loaded up with protection spells.

“You don’t have to come Yue. I can handle this.” Wukong looked at my final preparations worriedly.

I snorted. “No. I’ll handle the negotiations. Your job is to sit beside me and look tough. Got it?”

He sighed. “Okay Yue. But if they make a move towards you, I will slaughter them all.”

“Fair enough. I give you permission to start the battle if they try anything. General Ma and I will fly back with my sword. But don’t start until they make the first move. Depending on their conditions we might be able to come to a peaceful resolution”

Wukong summoned Nimbus and lifted me aboard. He hopped on after me, followed by Ma.

Ma raised our own parley flag, and we flew out of the cave and towards the tent set at the halfway point between the opening of the valley to Water Curtain Cave, and the enemy camp.

We landed about ten feet away. The guards at the tent eyed us warily.

We approached. I spoke up first. “We are here to speak with your leaders. Step aside.”

“No weapons allowed inside the tent.” The left one growled.

I held up my hands and showed they were empty. “We come unarmed.” Of course, we weren’t actually unarmed. Wukong had his staff tucked away in his ear, my sword could be summoned in a flash, and Ma was the largest of the generals, and his fists were deadly weapons themselves.

They begrudgingly stepped aside. We entered the tent.

It was empty. Did they seriously just set up this tent and then make us wait to see them?

Heavenly gods were arrogant. I activated my chi sight to keep an eye on the outside of the tent. Well, we weren’t being surrounded. A good sign. Maybe they had some honor after all.

I sat at the small negotiations table, and waited. Wukong sat beside me, but fidgeted. Ma stood behind us imposingly.

I could see a figure approaching with my chi sight. Just one.

I shut off my chi sight as they entered the tent. It was a large man, who had a blue tint to his skin.

“Sun Wukong!” He bellowed. “You are under arrest for defying the will of heaven! Not only did you abandon your post, you now claim to be the Great Sage Equal to Heaven! You shall pay for this insult!”

What? I peeked at Wukong and watched him flinch at the words. Lunus, what the fuck did he do now?

This wasn’t the time or place. We needed to show a united front. In the face of whatever the fuck this guy was doing.

“Fight me Wukong! And if you lose, I’ll drag you to the heavenly court for your execution!”

Welp, there goes any chance of a peaceful end to this.

The man drew a large battle ax from his back. And there went any negotiations at all.

“Wukong, don’t kill him. He needs to take a message back to the army.”

“As you wish Yue.” Wukong got a wicked grin on his face and drew his staff.

The man let out a battle roar and swung his axe towards Wukong. With one swing of his staff, Wukong split the axe in half, and batted the man halfway back to camp. He laid on the ground for a while before limping back to the camp.

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The soldiers that were guarding the tent also ran back towards the camp. Wukong moved to chase them.

“Let them go. It might be a trap to try and lure you away from us.” I hoped it was, because so far, this was just pathetic.

“So,” I gave Wukong a mirthless smile. “What’s this about being the Great Sage Equal to Heaven?”

He shuffled and wouldn’t look me in the eye. “Well, it happened that day I went to see the brotherhood to get troops. They offered me some drinks as I explained what happened in heaven and they were outraged I was treated like that. So we came up with the name “Great Sage Equal to Heaven” but I didn’t think they would spread it.”

He blinked and sat beside me. “I’m sorry Yue. This is bad isn’t it?”

I sighed and patted his head. “I wish you told me earlier. But maybe we can use this. Let’s wait here for someone else to come. Maybe I can get us out of this while keeping our pride and our land intact.”

We waited, and eventually another figure flew towards us from the camp. A very small human. I didn’t know they came that tiny.

Wukong looked at the approaching figure with confusion. “What the hell is a child doing here?”

A child? That was a human child? It looked like a miniature human.

The child stopped a good ten feet away from us. He wore wheels on his feet and his arms were wrapped in red silk.

“I am Nezha, son of Heavenly King Li Jing. I am here to place Sun Wukong under arrest. State who you are and why you are here.”

I stood up. “I am Sun Yue, wife of Sun Wukong and the Monkey Queen. We came here to speak with your leader before the battle, but I see he has not deigned to grace us with his presence. Deliver this message to him and the Jade Emperor! If Wukong is granted the title “Great Sage Equal to Heaven” there will be no need to battle!”

Nezha’s faced flushed red. “You are as arrogant as I heard. Duel me, and if you succeed in beating me I’ll deliver your message. If not, I’ll arrest Sun Wukong here and now!”

The kid transformed into a massive creature with three heads and six arms. Weapons appeared in each of his hands. He gave a massive roar.

I grabbed Wukong before he went in. “Don’t underestimate him. He has the most chi out of everyone in the army.”

He grinned. “That means I can really let loose then.”

I stepped back and he transformed into his own three-headed six-armed monster.

I will never understand this world. I turned to General Ma. “Let’s retreat. This might get messy.”

I summoned my sword and Ma carefully balanced on the hilt. Together, we retreated from the battlefield.

I landed a few li away to watch, and sent Ma back to the palace to deliver the news to the other generals. I watched their fight with bated breath.

They were evenly matched. While Wukong had more chi, Nezha was faster, and had his own tricks. He wielded each of his weapons with finesse and skill while Wukong kept him at bay with sheer force and his duplicated staffs.

This was going to turn into a draw if something wasn’t done. Wukong must have realized that too.

I saw him sneakily duplicate himself. This smaller Wukong snuck up behind Nezha and proceeding to attack from the back.

This surprised Nezha enough for Wukong to gain the upper hand. He pushed Nezha back and beat him into a retreat.

Nezha transformed back and flew off towards the camp. Wukong transformed and flew on Nimbus towards me. He wore a big grin on his face.

“Did you see that Yue? I got him! How did I look?”

I briefly smiled at his antics. “You did great! Very dashing.” He preened as I dropped my smile and looked back towards the camp.

The same trick wouldn’t work twice. Hopefully heaven would take the path of least resistance and there wouldn’t be any need for more bloodshed.

The army stayed for the next two weeks. But they didn’t make any more moves. We just had to stay alert and be ready for when something does happen.

That something turned out to be Evening Star approaching our home, alone and unarmed.

Wukong gave the order to let him in, and we were getting ready to greet him in the throne room.

“Okay, I’ll let you take point here, but remember it’s best to deescalate. If they give you the title, then the war will end. If they don’t, we’ll try and negotiate to end the war. And if he insists on arresting you, we’ll take him hostage and try to negotiate for a ceasefire for his release. You got it?”

Wukong smiled. “I’ve got it Yue, but you’re far too worried. You saw how I kicked their asses before. I’m sure we can handle them.”

I sighed as I straightened out his armor. “You’re strong Wukong, but I don’t want to push our luck. Let’s just see if they’re willing to negotiate for real now.”

He dipped down and gave me a kiss. “I promise I’ll follow your guidelines. Title means no war, negotiate if we can, and take him prisoner if we can’t. I got it.”

I sighed. Everyone was getting antsy in the palace. The sooner this ended the better.

“Okay, let’s go.”

We exited our room and headed to the throne room. General Liu announced us, and Evening Star rose to greet us.

He bowed. “I greet the Monkey King and Queen. I have another memorial from the Jade Emperor. May I read it for you?”

Wukong sat down in his throne and I followed suit. He gestured towards the scroll. “Please do Evening Star. I hope it’s good news.”

Evening Star unwound the scroll. He launched into the flowery language I struggled to parse through. Why did humans have to make this so complicated?

Finally he got to the important part. “And so, the illustrious Jade Emperor sees fit to grant Sun Wukong the title of Great Sage Equal to Heaven, and grants him a position equal to that of a high official, along with a mansion and many attendants. Effective immediately as soon as Wukong ceases all hostilities towards the heavenly army.”

More flowery language. But we did it. We won. We wouldn’t be going to war with heaven today. But some parts of the decree still made me concerned.

The Jade Emperor wanted Wukong in heaven. Where he could keep an eye on him. And the time dilation…

I gripped the edges of my seat. Was Wukong going to leave me behind again? I wouldn’t be able to handle being alone for that long again.

Wukong interrupted the decree. “What about my wife?”

Evening Star glanced up from the scroll. “Come again?”

“My wife. Who I had to leave behind last time. Is she invited?”

“Oh, of course. While she is not specifically mentioned in the decree, I am certain she is invited as well. You’re being granted a high position after all.”

Wukong frowned and looked over at me.

Shit. Do we take it? Wukong and I would both be in heaven, in enemy territory. But I really didn’t want this to end in bloodshed. I was certain if this turned into a protracted conflict, we would lose. We still haven’t seen the full extent of heaven’s forces.

I bit my lip. We had to take this deal. If we went to heaven, we’d be watched. But we could also watch them. Our intelligence on heaven’s influence and strength was minimal. If I went there myself, I could learn as much as I could in case it ever did come to war.

I slightly nodded and Wukong turned back to Evening Star. “Then we’ll gratefully accept. Please, stay awhile and let’s throw a banquet to celebrate our peaceful resolution and my new position.”

Evening Star was tying up the scroll. “No need, as we really must leave for heaven as quickly as possible.”

What? But we needed time to prepare. I needed to talk to the generals and discuss our plan to disengage our troops.

Fuck, heaven did the exact same thing last time. Insisting we leave immediately without giving us time to plan and discuss.

I leaned over and whispered to Wukong. “You make him stay for a banquet. I need to go talk with the generals before we leave. Keep him here until I get back.”

He nodded and gave Evening Star another smile. “I really must insist you stay for a banquet. It’s not every day we get to entertain someone such as yourself!”

As Wukong distracted him, I left the banquet hall as quietly as I could. I grabbed Liu. “Get the other generals and tell them to meet me in the offices. We need to plan for me and Wukong being away for several years.”

Liu ran off to find the others and I rushed towards my offices.

I had a lot of work to do.