Krishnaa came to me after the war as I rested

beneath the Kadamb tree in the gardens of

Hastinapur. Yudhishtir had been crowned

King. The Kaurava's were dead except for

one of all the brothers of Duryodhana; only

Yuyutsu survived. Their mother, Gandhari,

cursed me, in anguish, in pain, heartbroken at

such a terrible loss. She wished my people a

death as painful as that of her sons. She

called me the architect of death. I did not

have the heart to remind her that I strived to

counsel Duryodhana, begged him to do the

right thing, give the Pandava brothers their

right, their land, but to no avail. I accepted

her words with equanimity. I too had a price

to pay.

Lying in the shade of the Kadamb, aware

that the mother who lost her sons had voiced

a prophecy that would come to pass only too

soon, I tried to go back to the Kadam tree of

my childhood. This tree was not the one

beneath which Radha swayed to my music,

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and I felt the familiar ache of lost love.

She came to Dwarka sometimes and stayed

in the more spartan rooms of my palace. I

knew that, but she never wanted to meet me,

and though I did not talk of it, it hurt. I

wanted to play the bansuri again. I wanted to

chat with Sudama on the stone steps of the

Gomti Kund. I wanted… to not think for the

millionth fraction of a second. Still, I opened

my eyes for Krishnaa, who approached my

apparent solitary self and sat down on the

grass next to me, forgetting that she was the

queen of Hastinapur now and it would be

deemed unbecoming.

Krishnaa sat in silence, her eyes grazed over

some distant shrubs, they wandered up

staring into the leaves that clung to the

branches, they fell on me, looking into me, at

me, and then coming to rest on the knot of

wood near the roots. I remembered how her

eyes used to blaze forth, alive, lit up, on fire,

in anger, with joy. The fire was gone now.

The Mahabharata did not end with the death

of kings and princes alone. The victors also

lost a part of their soul

Yudhishtir ruled for thirty-six years. He was

kind, just, and wise. His brothers were his

strength. Krishnaa and I remained the best of

friends.