CHAPTER 2 - THE NUMBER OF CRIMES TODAY IS…
“Ain’t shooting my arm punishment enough?”
“With how much you keep talking, I shoulda shot you in the mouth,” I said, resting my feet up on my desk.
“Listen–”
“No.”
“Just hear me out for a sec–”
Before Mick could continue, Deputy Bob stood up and threw a cup of joe at his cell, bouncing it off the bars and spilling dark coffee all over. “Explain again, William, why you couldn’t shoot this one in the face too?”
“Felt bad,” I replied. “Already blew the brains out of his partner onto poor Granny Fitz.”
In a much more serious tone than I’d heard him all day, the man behind bars chimed in, “His name was Vance.”
Bob rolled his eyes at the man, “Does it seem like we care, Mick?”
“You will.” He said it so quietly, I don’t think Bob even heard him. Or maybe he just didn’t care to reply.
The door swung open, and Sheriff James walked in, a scowl from the heat present on his wrinkled face. He made his way over to his desk and plopped on down heavy.
“William.”
“Yeah, Sheriff?”
“Why’s my coffee all over the floor?”
“Bob threw it.”
“Get me a new one.”
Sitting up straight and taking my feet off my desk, I looked at him with wide eyes. “Why me?”
Bob started laughing at my predicament, which made it all the more satisfying what James said next, “Cause Bob’s going to clean the floor.”
His laughing died on the spot. “I am?”
“Did you just assume you could make a mess and not get in trouble?”
“Kind of… yeah.”
“You’re an idiot.” Shaking his head in disbelief, James just opened up a newspaper and propped his legs up on his desk. He gave me a glance. “You gonna stand there all day? I want my coffee.”
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“Shouldn’t he be doing that too? I didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Did you try telling him not to throw my coffee?”
I sighed and started exiting the office. “I guess I didn’t. Whatever, one cup of coffee in progress, your highness”
Walking out to the saloon, there was nothing to do. Unlike yesterday, today had an abysmal number of crimes: zero.
So damn boring. But, I guess it couldn’t be helped. Easy Breeze didn’t birth many criminals, so the only ones we ever needed to look out for were visitors.
We had it easy here.
I wished we didn’t.
Entering the saloon, I leaned on the counter and was greeted by the only beautiful person in town, Jane.
“What can I get for you, William?” She didn’t bother looking at me, more focused on the glass she was cleaning.
“Just some coffee.”
She looked up, annoyed. “Really? You barely ever come here, and when you finally do, it’s for coffee?”
“Yeah.”
“You realize most people come to a saloon for alcohol, right?”
“Hey, I didn’t say it was for me.” I put my hands up in a placating manner. “It’s for James.”
“Well, why don’t you stay for a drink?” she asked. “To celebrate how you saved Granny Fitz yesterday.”
“James actually reprimanded me for that. Can you believe it?”
“Why?”
“He told me I should’ve been more careful. That the other guy I didn’t take out first coulda shot Fitz.”
“Well…”
I leaned over the counter and tilted my head in shock. “You too?”
Then, it became her turn to put up placating hands. “Listen. I still think you did a good job. But, technically speaking… the guy did manage to get a shot off before you downed him. He could have shot Fitz if he really wanted to.”
“Well, he didn’t.”
“I just think you sometimes want to prove yourself more than…”
“Than?” I repeated, waiting for her to continue.
“...making sure you’re doing the right thing.”
I leaned back down on my stool and sighed. “Just get me a coffee, Jane.”
We stayed silent while she poured out the coffee and I paid.
With a cup of coffee in hand, I got up to leave. But before I exited, I just didn’t like leaving the atmosphere so awkward, so I turned back to her. “Hey.”
“Yeah?”
I’m an idiot. I didn’t really have anything planned to say. Why did I just say “Hey” if I didn’t have anything to say after? Think!
“William?”
“I’m an idiot.”
She gave me a smile that I swear wasn’t legal. “It’s fine.”
Heading back to the Sheriff’s office, I was hoping James wasn’t going to annoy me about taking so long.
But it seemed I’d got my wish when the smell and sight of smoke hit me.
The number of crimes in Easy Breeze today: one.
The crime?
Maniacs just lit the office on fire.