CHAPTER 16 - HONEST, I QUIT!

Standing in front of the rebuilt Sheriff’s office, I couldn’t find it in myself to take a step forward.

For the past two years, stepping into this office– well, not this exact office. The old one burned down, but I digress– was nothing special. Outside of patrolling the streets, it was where I spent most of my time on duty. It had my desk, where I kept my reports in order, and it even had two jail cells, where I’d keep temporary arrestees locked up.

Well, not just me.

Credit where credit’s due, Bob and James had their fair share of criminals placed there. No matter how annoying the fat deputy was, he put in work. The bare minimum, but still– he put in work. Not as much as James, though.

The Sheriff was almost as good as me… Well, I guess he was better than me now. Though, even when I had my right hand functioning at a hundred, it never knew when to back down when it probably should have. I guess that’s why I’m where I am now and why the sixty-six-year-old Sheriff was still an effective lawman. You don’t get to where he is with my recklessness.

I didn’t have a future in this line of work, and I needed to accept that.

I needed to quit.

And I knew I needed to quit.

So, why was it so hard for me to grasp the doorknob, pull, and take a damn step in?

It was the middle of the day, and I could hear Bob and James talking to one another inside, nothing specific, just the sound of murmurs and groans.

Bob was probably being reprimanded by James for something stupid he did. What an idiot. I couldn’t tell what they were saying, but I didn’t need to. The tones of the muffled words told me all I needed to know. Bob was lucky I wasn’t inside there to back up whatever James was saying to the overweight dummy.

“Why are you just standing there, chuckling to yourself like a creep?”

I turned to see Jane behind me. “It’s just hard to go in.”

“To go in?” She tilted her head. “Or to quit?”

It took me a few seconds to answer. “Both?”

“Need a push?”

“To go in?” I repeated. “Or to quit?”

“Just the first. The second one’s on you.” She opened the door and shoved me in. “Good luck.”

And she just left me.

“William?”

And now I wanted to dig a hole and bury myself in it. It took a lot of willpower, but I chose not to. Instead, I turned around to face my co-workers– no, my friends.

“What are you doing here, idiot? You’re supposed to be off-duty,” said Bob, kicking his feet up onto his desk.

“Yeah, about that–”

While pouring himself some water out of a bucket, James interrupted me, “If you’re about to tell me that you’re forcing yourself back on duty and ignore everything I said, then you–”

“No, that’s not it. I quit.” I didn’t know what came over me, but damn did I feel a weight off my shoulders already.

My declaration might’ve been relieving to me, but it left James stunned. He didn’t even stop pouring his water, letting the cup overfill and leak over his hand to the floor.

“Um, Boss?” Bob said.

The Deputy’s words broke the Sheriff's shocked daze. James placed the bucket of water back on the table and left his full cup on his desk, then placed both of his hands to his side.

Looking at me dead in my soul, he squinted, suspicion oozing from his eyes. “You quit?”

It took me some seconds before I could repeat my resignation. “Yeah, I quit.”

“Why?”

“Well, the doc said my right hand won’t be getting any better. Something about the nerves being burned and all.”

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“So, that’s it? No more whining about wanting to be on duty or being the best shot in town?”

Embarrassed at my past actions, I scratched my head. “It’s just that after the whole incident, I’ve realized how reckless that was. Bob was right. I’m not a good shot with my left hand, and I probably won’t ever be. And you were right too. It’s better to just make the safe play.”

James sighed. “And the safe play is to quit?”

“Way I see it? Yeah.”

“So what are you planning on doing?”

“Jane already told me I could work at her saloon.”

At my answer, James sat back down on his chair. “So you’re going to serve drinks the rest of your life?”

Bob chimed in. “Hey, apparently Jane pays well. I think she pays more than you do too!”

James just looked at Bob, hinting that he wanted the fat man to be quiet. Bob took the hint in stride. Sort of.

“Okay, I’ll just go patrol while you two have your little reunion,” said Bob, already on his way out.

When it was just us two, I was the first to break the silence. “What’s the deal with all these questions? Didn’t you want me to quit?”

“What gave you that idea?”

“The whole indefinite benching kind of made it seem that way.”

“It was temporary. It would’ve been lifted once you were good again.”

“That’s not happening,” I said, shoving my bandaged right hand in front of his face.

Gently pushing the hand away from him, James pointed to my left hand. “And that one?”

“You saw me out there. I can’t shoot for nothing with this.”

It was silent again.

For what felt like forever, nothing else was said.

I turned to leave but stopped at the sound of James’ voice. “Do you really want to work at a saloon?”

I sighed. “It pays well, Jane’s there, not as much potential for danger, Jane’s there, food is free for employees, and uh Jane’s there.”

For the first time, I actually heard a chuckle out of James' wrinkly face. “So you’re quitting because Jane’s there?”

“Well, not just cause Jane’s there. I seriously just don’t think I’ll be of real use here. That’s the bottom line. I’m not a good shot, I’m not very smart, and I’m reckless. This place would be better off without me.”

“Without you? Without you, I’d be dead in a fire.”

“Oh, come on. Bob told me you would’ve eventually got out.”

“Maybe so, but I would’ve been riddled with holes by the time I came outside if you hadn’t taken care of Vance’s gang.”

“They were already planning on leaving. Me firing on them, prolonged their stay. It was stupid on my part.”

“And?” he asked. “It might’ve prolonged their stay, but it certainly didn’t prolong them living longer to terrorize us or other towns another day. You took care of a gang of bandits by yourself! And you saved me from getting shot on top of that.”

“And look where that got me.” I looked down at my burned hand.

Before I knew it, James grasped my left hand. “And you still got this one.”

“I just said that I won’t ever–”

“But you managed to shoot a bottle, didn’t you?”

Snatching my left hand back, I snapped, “Really? That bottle was standing still and, even then, I had to line up my aim for an entire minute before I shot it.”

“But you managed, right? Was that the first day you practiced with your left?”

“No.”

“Did you hit anything before that bottle?”

“No…”

“Then that’s progress! Slow progress, yes, but still progress.” He smiled. “If you keep on trying, you can always get better. William, I’ve known you for a long time now. There’s one thing I always liked and, at times, was real annoyed about, but you don’t give up. You’re a stubborn, arrogant idiot… but you don’t give up.”

Even in the face of a cannibalistic twin, I didn’t give up. He’s right. Of course, James is always right. What the hell was I thinking? Quit? I don’t quit. I’m the best– well, the former best shot in town!

I killed a magic-mirror-hopping-people-eating maniac!

Albeit, Jane knocked him out beforehand.

But still!

“Goddamn it, James. Fine, I’ll stay.”

“Good.” James leaned back in his chair. “You’re still off-duty, though.”

What?

“What?” I repeated out loud. “After all that spiel about not giving up?”

“Well, you still have to get better at shooting before I let you back on.” He glanced back at me. “What? That too hard for you?”

“No, old man.” I turned and began to make my way out. “I’ll be back the best-left-handed gunslinger– no, actually, I’ll be back the best shot you’ve ever seen, you geriatric.”

“Don’t keep me waiting too long or Bob will be sheriff.”

Maybe, in another world, but not this one. Sorry, Bob.

Before I could take a step onto the main street, I felt an arm interlink my own.

It was Jane.

“So you’re not going to be my little bartender?” she asked, her face painted with an exaggerated pout.

“You heard all that?”

“Yeah, just couldn’t help it.”

“Got any bottles you don’t need?”

“Plenty.”

“Love you, Jane.”

“I know.” She held my arm tighter.