In the classroom, I periodically raise my eyes from between clutched arms, shaded eyelids and black eye sockets disinterest incarnate, only so the teachers will stop bothering me so much. When the class ends, I'm left stirring uncomfortably in my seat as the teacher leaves the class, waiting for the next one. At this point, the classroom usually erupts in idle chatter and laughter, like a crowd of wild parrots. I never partake in any of that nor do I like it, but it is always a great opportunity to exert loathing and my staring bitch face. People would look strange at me, and I am delighted to retribute it tenfold. As you can see, I earned my supervillain persona.

As I stirred in my seat, something caught my attention. Below the arms I used as a pillow lies my opened sketching book. Strange, I don't remember taking this one out today, let alone drawing the weird ass thing I'm currently looking at.

It appears I used charcoal to paint most of the page pitch black. I can barely see some swirling shapes within the page, but it's unclear what has been drawn on it.

What the fuck? Is someone trolling me? It can't be, it's even signed with my name in the corner. And my fingertips are stained with charcoal themselves. Did I just sleepwalk my way into drawing now? Jesus Christ.

This pissed me off greatly, and I looked around to see if anyone looked suspicious. I'd hate the idea of someone taking my stuff, particularly my sketchbook. There is… personal stuff in it. Things I won't show anyone. Things are way too intimate to be shared.

The day passes unusually fast as the last alarm rings and people rush to leave the place, but none as fast as me. Freedom at last, or something. Two days of reprieve from this meaningless activity until they end and I have to start it all over again, until I die and/or graduate. Hopefully, soon.

My nervously-looking teachers appear even more nervous than usual, as they group up in some corner and start to talk loudly while pointing to some place in a newspaper. I catch a glimpse of the words "troubling scientific discovery" as I pass by. Whatever discovery he could be talking about? Hopefully some solution for that retracting hairline of his.

What is wrong with people today?

As I walk long steps toward the exit, an unbelievably annoying voice comes from behind, instantly draining my life force and making me roll my eyes all the way inside my skull:

- Hey, bitch. - said Stacey, the most insufferable girl in this school.

I swear I never saw her without at least two other girls around, as if she was planet bitch orbited by her satellite hoes:

- Hey… you! - I say as I turn around, with a big fake smile on my face.

- Whoa, you really outdid yourself last night, didn't you? They said they had to go buy more alcohol because you emptied all the stock. Drinking won't make you any less unpopular, you know?

I gesticulate a lot and smile sarcastically as I speak, imitating her fake way of being. This really messes her up.

- Aw, that's so adorable and so incorrect. That ugly-ass boyfriend of yours had already drunk half of it by the time I got there. I don't judge him though, anyone would have to drink that much to be with you.

I wish you could have seen her face. Suffice it to say that her eyes twitched, and her beta whores' mouths made a perfect 'O'. Then, she proceeds to muster all her strength to suppress her contemptuous face as she says:

- Right… Oh, by the way, that stoner you hooked up with? He's looking for you. You'll be so cute together.

Fuck, I completely forgot that. I started talking to this cute guy back at the party and we ended up making out a little. He's an airhead though, I don't want no nothing to do with him, but I didn't expect him to come up looking for me after I gave him a fake number. I can't hide my sour face after that.

- Have fun, Sarah. - she says, as she parts away with her crowd. About time.

But not soon did she leave, guess who came in my direction? Fuck me.

- Yo, Sarah, what's up? - says the boy I made out with. He wore a black jacket and the classic stoner cap. Exactly what he was wearing the night before.

Shit, what was his name again? Jason? Mason? As if reading my mind, he does me the favor:

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- It's Samuel from yesterday, remember? - "Samuel"! Close enough. I make a face of relieved enlightenment as I smile - I had a pretty good time last night. Would you like to, you know, hang out some?

I hesitated for a while, unable to answer right away. I didn't mean to get this through, but he is kind of nice, sweet, and a good kisser.

What the heck, I'm in for it. If anything, it will piss off my parents, which is great.

- I had a pretty good time as well, Sam. - I say smiling. Even worse, I actually blush a little.

Son of a bitch, who do you think you are to go and make me act all cute? I'll not give him the satisfaction, and I'll try my best to hide the feeling.

- Do you have any particular place in mind…? - I say, trying to sound as aloft as possible as if I had so many other cooler options for the weekend. If only.

- A few come to mind. - he says with a silly smile.

Well, I had worse prospects. Beats going home, anyway. Something tells me this might not be too bad.

_______________

Well, well, well, Samuel, did you just read my mind or what? Consider me officially impressed.

- Dude, I've been trying to get into this place for months. - I say, with a smile and raised eyebrow to Samuel.

The nightfall disco has been notorious for featuring the best rock bands around here, so much so I've given up trying to find a vacancy. It is every bit of what I expected: dimly lit, interesting people as freaky as me, heavy smell of smokeables, and loud heavy metal drumming in my body membranes. In fact, so loud Samuel didn't hear shit I just said:

- WHAT? - he says, in my ear.

- I SAID I'VE BEEN TRYING TO GET IN HERE LIKE FOREVER! - I say back in his ear, and I can't help but giggle, Samuel has a kind of funny way.

- OH, YEAH, YOU SEE, I…- he stops talking and signals me to come to a less noisy corner. I signal with the head that this might be a good idea, and follow his lead.

We find a nice spot by a corner, where we can actually chat without being blasted by music. I usually prefer the music over petty conversation, but not today.

- I was saying, my cousin is, like, very friends with the owner, you know? He gave me the tickets to bring a friend today as well.

- Oh really? - I say teasingly - and you brought a random girl you picked up instead? - I make a sarcastic judgemental headshake.

- Well, you see, - he says with an embarrassed smile - I was kind of hoping that, like, we could be more than that or something.

I was taken aback by his comment, and my eyes went wide.

- Really…? You… like me? - I say timidly - Why?

He seems to stutter for a moment, as he shakes his head around with a silly smile on his face.

- I, uh, I don't know, like, you are kind of cool and stuff, you know?

- Really? - I smile, he is kind of sweet. People usually just think I'm a bitch - Thought you fancied goth girls with daddy issues.

He gives a cute shy smile.

- Well, yeah, you know, those are usually the best ones.

Oh dear, his comment was so spontaneous that I couldn't help but burst into laughter.

We proceed to spend the evening engaged in conversation, I wouldn't expect for us to have so much in common! We eventually ordered drinks and some snacks as we did so, until…

- Oh god… - I say in shock - that's… My music!

He turns around to face the band as they start playing my favorite music ever. I seldom get to see other people with such good taste.

- Really? That's like my favorite music too! - he says, as he gets up and starts to dance clumsily.

- No! Stop that! It's so embarrassing - I say as I try holding back my laughter, failing miserably.

- Come on girl, it would be embarrassing to not enjoy it, you know? - he says, as he extends me a hand in invitation.

I'm covering my face in embarrassment, and other people are looking at us. Will he really force me into doing such a thing?

- Come on, let's have fun. - he says, hand still stretched.

I consider for a few more seconds, until I finally give in, and people around us applaud me and I just want to die right now.

He takes me by the hand and drags me to the dance floor.

It was, like, so magical. I never get to spend time with someone else so intimately. The music was electrical, and the ambient was intoxicating. He grabbed me by the waist and pulled me closer as we danced together in synchrony.

For a moment, I forgot about my hatred towards the world, my meaningless existence in this plane, every little thing that made me miserable, washed away.

I was in a trance-like state of euphoria, the blasting sound of music and the warmth of Samuel's body on my own was everything I could think of at that moment. I barely noticed the moment when we kissed again.

Not simply a make-on, this time it was something else, something better. I felt safe, secure, and connected. Belonging.

And then comes that weirdest feeling again, jumping me out of my fantasies, dragging me back to my world of mysery and hopelessness. I should've known good things don't last. But why have I been feeling this lately?

Samuel notices my distress, and he doesn't say anything. I don't know how is he able to be so understanding. He just hugs me tight, as tears go down my eyes. Then everything went good once more.