The next thing I knew was being warm and wet, followed by discomfort. Something was squeezing me from all sides. Loud noises came from somewhere, yet I could not discern from where. Am I aware of my own fucking birth? Urgh, how fucked up is that?

Then suddenly coldness assaulted me. The warmth was gone and it was cold. I must be out of my mother. I tried to breathe, but it was hard. It almost pained me to suck the air in.

“It's a boy, lady Senju,” someone close to me said. It was a woman, she might be holding me.

I opened my eyes, but couldn't see, everything was extremely blurry. Only bright and dark, nothing else. I once read that newborns aren't able to see, only that they can notice silhouettes and light. The first months will suck.

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I got handed into someone's else hands. They were huge, for me, and felt rough, strong and nervously careful, definitely male. “Have you heard that Iria? We have a boy.” This voice was male. And it oozed with pride, it was also the person who was holding me.

“The next one is starting to come out,” urged the first speaker, maybe she was the midwife.

The blotch that might have been my father was moving away from the grunts of my mother. I got washed and dried. My father, the one who was doing the honour of bathing me, did so with utmost care. Almost as if he thinks that he might drop me or that I could break.

After my bath, I got carried out and laid down on something soft. I listened to the sound of someone else getting birthed. Not something pleasant. But thankfully my body was that of a baby and I got tired quickly.

I woke up when I got picked up again. “Give them to me,” spoke the tired new mother, my new mother now. I will need to get used to this. I was moved and placed into the arm of someone else. The person, most likely my mother, was sweaty and warm.

“My son, my daughter. You'll both grow up to do great things. My Kenshiro, my Tsunade, you'll grow up away from war. You'll have time to enjoy being a child.” So, I'm the slightly older brother of Tsunade? That means I'll have two world wars in front of me before it comes to the original canon. No way that that is going to keep intact.

She was cradling us while humming a soft lullaby. Staying awake was hard and I quickly fell victim to my tiredness.