Back home I found Tsunade and Mom sitting in the kitchen, but contrary to my belief they weren't speaking happily about Tsunade's Genin exam.
Tsunade was crying and in Mom's arms, who had tears streaming down her face as well. I stopped, Tsunade can't have failed her exam and even if, Mom wouldn't cry then. Something has happened. Someone must have died or something similar. I just left grandma Mito, but what about Tobirama or Dad.
“Who died?” I asked or more stated, my tone empty.
“Ken-kun,” Mom looked at me, more tears streamed down her face, she beckoned me over and pulled me into a tight hug. I was in between herself and Tsunade. “You father didn't make it. Kumo Shinobi found their team and he sacrificed himself so that the rest could escape and finish the mission.” I felt enormous sadness and then a fit of burning anger. It rushed through me, and only demanded one single thing. The death of Kumo Ninja!
And then, as if a cold breeze swept through my head, it was gone. The anger, the sadness, gone. Calm Mind had forced the emotions down and prevented me from losing my cool, from grieving.
This was the first obvious negative reaction I had from this skill. Not being susceptible to strong emotions like fear or worry also makes it impossible to feel hate, sadness, and strong love. It's a curse and a blessing at the same time.
I buried my face into mom's bosom. Not because I was crying, but to hide that I couldn't cry.
The rest of the day was spent in a gloomy depressive atmosphere. Grandma Mito, a few other Senju and Tobirama came over once they heard the news or had time. Dad was not part of the immediate family, Mom is the daughter of Hashirama and Mito, but he was still family and they were sad as well.
Tobirama hid it well, but he was angry and I am sure dad's death will not be left unpaid.
They will take care of the funeral, Mom will be too busy grieving. Tsunade and I stayed with her for the whole day, even sleeping in the same bed. Mom and Tsunade cried themselves to sleep.
I sat there awake, holding both and not able to feel a deep sadness that should be overwhelming me. I only felt some of it, but not enough for something that normally comes with the death of a loved parent. It made me sad for a different reason, but that sadness was suppressed once it rose above a certain limit.
I wasn't able to sleep, wouldn't fall asleep on my own and was trapped in a repeated circle of growing and vanishing sadness. I began to think. About ways to destroy Kumo, but I quickly realized that it was not possible. Not with my current strength. Hashirama may have been able to, but not without dying. There are still too many from the warring era alive.
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I will have to wait. Ten years will be enough for me to be at my peak and for them to have declined into unimportance.
So instead I started to think about possible ways to get stronger. Chakra training, possible Jutsu, training exercises, large area attack Jutsu, the Eight Gates.
I played with the idea of stealing a Bijuu, of learning enough medicine to concoct viruses or superpowers, off getting my hands on Senjutsu or the Impure World Jutsu, if it was already invented.
With my new seals, I can train myself while the Shadow Clones help with the theoretical training, I can train faster than normal. I almost had used my points to max out my Chakra Control but stopped myself in the last second. As long as I can increase it rather easily I won't waste my points.
But one thing is clear, I'm by far not strong enough to matter. And that is something that has to change.
I decided to use my ability to its fullest. Up to now, I have trained like any other child Ninja child, playing with Tsunade or reading books. Only as a baby did I use what I have to its fullest and that was because I couldn't do anything else.
I created the three clones I could do and set them to work. They would train Chakra Manipulation. All four of us started to train, resting when we run out of Chakra and starting anew when it had recharged.
Tireless, determined, non-stop training for the next seven hours. Every hour I would dispel and redo my clones, gaining their own unique experience for my skill. In the morning I had increased my Chakra Manipulation by 5 %, bringing it to 60%.
A single night gave the same results as a month of normal training. Shadow Clones may not be as good as previously thought but are still broken beyond anything and me as a Gamer will take every opportunity I have.
I made breakfast for us and woke Tsunade and Mom up, they were looking horrible. Puffy eyes and dark lines under them. I know that Mom will be faster back on track than Tsunade. Mom is a Ninja, she has seen death, knows the risks and lived them. It will still be painful, but ultimately, she will be quicker to overcome the loss than Tsunade.
My sister has never lost anything she truly loved. She was too young to really understand the death of Hashirama and he has had distanced himself from us before he died. She was sad, but it couldn't be compared with the death of Dad.
On a side note, I suddenly realized that there won't be a Nawaki. Our parents never tried for a third child, two was enough for them. They probably wanted to wait until we were Genin, before starting on a third child.
My presence has changed the world and now, I can see the results.
We ate in silence. I tried to find a moment to speak, but there was no chance. The mood was grave. In the end, I decided to bite into the sour apple and just ask. “Tsu-chan, will you go to your Genin team or should I go and tell them you won't be able to come?”
Tsunade looked up from her empty glass and stared at me. After a long moment, she said something back. “Will you go?” I nodded. “Why?” she questioned.
“I want to become stronger. Only with strength can I do something. If I'm as strong as Hashirama-jiji I can do anything I want. And then no one will attack those I love. And if they do I will be able to take revenge,” I answered. Mom looked at me sadly, as if she was giving herself the fault for my world view. She must understand that this only leads to more pain. But there won't be more pain if I kill everyone related. No one can take revenge if there is no one left to try.
I know, brutal, inhuman, but effective. And that is the only thing my Gamer's Mind does not dim. It's only logical to take everything out that could harm you. If there are no other Villages to oppose Konoha there won't be any danger against my family.
Tsunade looked back down into her glass. “No... you don't need to tell them, I will go. Can... can we train together afterwards?”
I reached out and grabbed her hand. “Of course, we will always be together Tsu-chan.” She smiled weakly but said nothing.
From the anime, I know that every one of the Senju clan dies at one point or another. The question is when and, more importantly, am I able to prevent it? Right now I'm not more than a slightly strong Academy graduate.