Turning around I noticed multiple white shadowy glimmering forms of floating vapours rushing towards us and noticing the imminent danger, I jumped in front of Shiara and Sarra and spread out my arms wide.

“THEY’RE WITH ME!”

The clouds of vapour froze, before gradually falling backwards. Taking a clearer look, I noticed the curious way in which their bodies constantly shimmered and how light reflected off their body in some places, and passed through in others. I could hear Shiara nosily rubbing her eyes behind me; whether from shock at their sudden retreat or from their blurry figures, I wouldn’t know.

The formless mist surrounding them seemed to vibrate in excitement.

“Relax Shiara, they’re …Zielen, souls.” …Not that I was feeling relaxed at all. *1

“Wait Vixen, did you say souls?! I realised they don’t appear to be the normal ghouls, but what do you mean by Zielen? As in the soul of a dead person?- How do they even materialise?!”

“A…de….da..nt..A…de…da!” Ignoring Sarra’s precise questioning, I looked back towards the Zielen. I had only heard of this phenomenon once before and wasn’t even sure it existed until this moment. The supposedly sentient and intelligent apparition, that bore a strong grudge or a heavy burden and refused to move on. Of course, the white vapour could just be a magic trick, but considering we were in the Jungle of Illusions, the chances were slim, so I just let the thought slip to the back of my head.

“A…no…the…rrrrr….sss….vive…”

“Wwwwai-….”

“Ell…d….cu...mnnm….soooo-“

“Sorry, can you talk one at a time and slowly. I’m-“…finding it hard to understand anything as it is. Their attempt at speech could be more aptly described as a collection of odd and weird noises, barely triumphing over the sound of nightlife in this jungle, which I probably learnt more from. Their voices sounded blurred and slurred, with sudden drops and sharp increases in volume. Though the way they shook and vibrated as they spoke made them seem creepy and eerie, their voice was surprisingly plainer than I would expect.

“Ru….nnng…hiiiii…ddddd.

“Veng….ugug….ussss.”

“Ch…osse…nnn… blehh…sssed

I shook my head in frustration. Their voices were overlapping and seemed to be telling me different things, and it didn’t seem like they could understand me, not to mention hear me, straight up continuing with their sounds while I was talking. The newer ones who had come forward seemed more corporal and their speech was more distinct, but I still couldn’t make out what they were saying. I helplessly turned back to look at Shiara and Sarra.

“Hey what do you expect from us? Besides, you’re the one who has the best hearing here.” Meanwhile Sarra just silently shook her head whilst looking vexed.

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SHWOOOOOOOWWWLLLL!!!

Suddenly, the crowd of floating souls parted as if pushed by an invisible force, almost as if like making way for a king. And revealed through this gap…was an important looking soul, the last village elder. His outline was quite distinct, and his facial features still clearly recognisable. Especially his goatee…I still remember the other kids tugging on them.

“Apologieesssss forrrr theeee delayyy.”… and he sounded like a hissing snake, rasping with a lisp.

“Elder-“

“Weeehehee don’ttt havvve mucchh time. Weeeee arrrrre faccccing exttttinction, sooo you no longger havvve toooo folloooow ancient traditions.”…Could you not have shortened that message…”Heeere come theee resssts of your familyyy.”

The elder moved to the side and behind him stood another two who I would recognise by just smell alone. The two forms were more blurred than the elder, but I knew who they were at a glance; my parents that I only saw in my dream. Any hope that they were still alive hidden somewhere was shattered, and the soul crushing pain of their passing hit me again. I had thought myself prepared, ready for the anguish and sadness, but somewhere inside, I heard the same parts shatter. I had known that they were most certainly dead, but without seeing their corpse, I couldn’t stop myself secretly hoping that somewhere, somehow, one if not both of them were alive. Unknowingly I had reached out my hand, but the two souls kept out of my reach, the chilly sensation reminding me that touching a soul would freeze you. However just the sight of them was enough to do that.

“I…I-“

I couldn’t talk, my voice felt choked. Now that I was finally here, I didn’t know what to say. I was past the point of apologising, past the point of begging for their return, past the point of anger, madness and insanity, screaming about the world’s injustice. The world was unfair, people died every day, the strong would bully the weak, and some things somewhere would happen that were uncalled for, and someone would suffer. Equality in the truest sense was a lie, as we all lived different lives, and chance and fate would often play cruel jokes on us. *2

So what was left inside of me still? Nothing but a deep emptiness, hollowness and sadness. The raw pain of loss, more cruel than having lost a limb. If my death could in anyway bring back their lives, I would do it without a moment’s of thought. But deep down, I knew they would not be happy for it, and that death should never be addled with for revival in the truest sense was a myth and a lie. Life and death could never be reverted.

“Be stroong-“

“-Look after each other-“

Suddenly their gentle voices cut off as the Zielen seemed to shimmer violently, and as if something was pulling them, slowly fell into the ground. A few of them wildly flailed about, but my eyes were focused on the two in front of me. They had what seemed like self-mocking smiles on their face, but I could sense their inner peace. Not as any physical or magical signal, but from my years with them and the connection between us, as child and parent. They opened their mouths but nothing came out. Though I was in a slight daze, in what seemed like moments, the crowd of souls disappeared into the ground, leaving without a trace of distortion, as if they never existed and were simply an illusion.

And as if underwater, I heard the footsteps of Shiara and Sarra. I had without noticing, ended up kneeling on the ground. I stared dazedly back at the two, mouth open.

“!!! Vixen, are you ok?! You’re crying,- “…huh, was I crying? I felt my face and suddenly, as if I had just regained my sense of touch, I noticed my whole face was wet. Not just eyes and cheeks, but my nose, mouth and neck. I hadn’t felt it before and I hadn’t let out any sniffle, so I hadn’t realised. Crying… huh. And suddenly it seemed as if I had just been winded again.

WAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!

I let it all out. My tears and bottled up emotions. My mind was in a blank state. Someone had rushed over and hugged me, trying to soothe me with words, but I heard none of it. I instinctively grabbed the person in front of me, putting them into a strong vice like hug, as if trying to pass on my emotions. I no longer knew left from right and the world was a cold blur to me, so I hugged the warm living thing in front of me, as if to reassure myself that I was still alive. I could only see my tears, but I could faintly hear my sniffles, something I had not heard since I lost my childhood.

And I cried…. and cried…and cried…

                               …Letting all my worries out…

                                                     …. And hoping for a better tomorrow…

Feeling tired, I rested my head on the person in front of me, and gently lulled into the sweet embrace of sleep. A thought flitted through my dulling mind, the words I had wanted to say, but never said to my parents. “Sorry”, but more importantly, “Thank you.” And with that, the world finally died out. I fell asleep. *3

For the first time in 7 years did I have deep and sound sleep, and only then did I finally, truly move on. The past no longer held me though it had scarred me, and looking back this was a historic moment personally. I had cast off my childish cicada skin, and finally moved a step closer to adulthood. Both emotionally, and only later would I find out, physically as well; I had unconsciously awakened my inherent bloodline.

Goodbye mother and father; and goodbye to the Inner Dæmon you left inside of me. Like everyone else, I will die one day, but until then, Mum, Dad, please wait peacefully in the after life for me.