“I figured you guys needed a minute. I…thought this might come up some day or another. I just didn’t think it would be now.” Drenar slowly works around the corner, looking unusually calm, if a little fatigued and sweaty. “I heard you guys talking,” he says quietly.
“I was…trying to figure some stuff out,” Julia answers abstractly. Her makeup is likely an utter disaster by this point, but she doesn’t care, not in front of him. “Are you…okay?"
He considers her words for a second, and wipes his hand through his messy, damp hair. He had been pushing himself hard downstairs, it looked like.
“I’m…a little bit better, from last night. Still holding onto some regrets, and moments of really bad ideas from the past.” He sounds uneasy, but eventually taps his wristwatch for emphasis. He lets out a soft breath. “Do we want to talk about it? Because, I can save you a lot of head-scratching. I think we’ve both been circling this one for too long.”
Julia looks at him and rises up from the bench. “King got to us. That was his plan. Even if he was using the truth like a cudgel–”
“No, the other thing.” His gaze darkens a little, as if he’s still trying to find the words when he has a few false starts of words. “You uh…mind if I sit?”
“Fates, Drenar, we don’t bite. Plus, given what we’ve been through, maybe it’s time we put some cards on the table.” Angela gets frustrated and has him sit down at the bench, next to Julia. “Alright, go ahead.”
He takes a minute to get his composure. This close, she could smell the dampness of his hair, and for some strange reason, the lavender dryer sheets Diane always overloaded into the clothing pile. He closes his eyes briefly, lips parched for words for a second.
“So…this is something that I still find it hard to talk about. That day I…I was thinking about it. I wanted to feel something. Anything, other than that emptiness I felt, all day, for a month.”
He glances down at the dagger he now perennially has strapped to his thigh, and he taps the hilt gently. Julia can hear that soft crystalline note in the room again, before it fades into the quiet morning lull. “I was sitting there, looking at one of the last things she gave me. Her dagger. Something she trusted me to hold close, and use only when needed. I just pulled it out, and stared at it for a while.”
Drenar has a quiet tone, when he needs to. He always knew how to get the important parts out, even if a discussion hurt him. “I was out of it. I kept thinking about what would happen if I tried to feel alive in that way. I never would have gone through with it, in retrospect. Right at the end, before I got startled, I realized…causing myself pain wasn’t going to bring her back. It wasn’t going to magically reunite me with her. And I...thought about what going through with that...would do to you guys."
He shakes his head and sighs softly before looking at her solemnly. “I put you through hell Julia, because I put myself in a position to be hurt. This wasn’t on you, this was me. I’m sorry I put you guys–”
“No. You don’t have to say that,” she says, barely over a whisper, past the clenching feeling in her throat and chest. She turns and gives him a tight hug, one that she doesn’t want to let go of for a long time, fingers pressed into the creases of his body--over toned muscles, and a soul scarred by terrible things. “We didn’t realize how bad you were hurting, Drenar.”
“I should have said something more. Maybe if I did, I wouldn’t have earned myself two years of people fawning over me and being overbearing. Therapy lessons were…helpful. Especially given the fact that I had no interest in testing my…pain thresholds again.” He does eventually let go, and looks down at his wrist, rubbing at the edges of the face of the watch she’d never seen him take off.
He pops open the clasp on his wristwatch, slowly, looking down with a solemn expression. “You know the part that pisses me off, now? They killed Dad as collateral. He didn’t have a chance, if Mom was up against someone who could take out a Valkyrie. Levine indicated it is exceedingly rare when a Valkyrie dies.”
“So…we don’t need to be overbearing?” Julia asks softly, before stroking her fingers on his shoulder. He glances her way briefly, before taking off his dad’s old wristwatch. It’s not a particularly fancy model, but it’s well-kept and scratch-free. It does have a single engraving of his mom’s initials–a gift from her to his father, on some long ago birthday.
“I just want you guys close, so that whatever the Talons are going to throw at us, they have to fight all of us at once. And we’re going to make them regret it.” There isn’t a trace of anger in his words when he rubs at the well-healed scar on his wrist–deeply cut by a weapon capable of slicing through steel as easily as flesh.
“I know two things. One, Valosterla is a megalomaniac who is using Crosomer like a pawn, a very dangerous pawn nonetheless, and is looking to make herself the new goddess of the world. Or, something else equally bad. If SAF is so laughably useless that they didn’t nail her before, then it might fall to us to either get the evidence we need, or do something about her ourselves.”
“What’s the second thing?” Julia already has a pretty good idea where his train of thought is going, when she squeezes his hand gently.
“The Talons almost certainly had a hand in my mother’s death, there’s very few organizations with people skilled enough and numerous enough to take out a Valkyrie. Especially because I’m sure that, whatever happened…she must have sent a lot of them to their grave first, before she fell,” he says with a quiet fury. “Who that was, is anyone's guess right now. But I am going to find King, and start breaking his bones one at a time, until he tells me who her killer is. I need to give her that kind of closure, guys. I need to be able to see this through, not just for me, but for everyone else they stand to hurt with their designs.”
“For revenge? Because I can tell you Drenar, that if we find her killer, you can be rest assured they will not leave the encounter alive. For what they've done to you alone." She feels that tension in her whole body, a coiled spring ready unleash on whoever would have dared to strike at his family.
“No. It would be for justice. Because if the Talons get their shot at breaking down the fundamentals of the mage world…they’ll set their eye on our world of consequence, too. There won’t be anywhere to hide, for anyone. And I'm not about to let them have their way without a fight.” The way his voice firms up, brings a bright ray of relief back to her face.
"You know what one of the last things my mom said?" he asks quietly. He runs his fingers over that scar, and for the first time, Julia doesn't see him shudder at it like he normally does. "She told me, 'Be a light to guide the way. Carry a beacon to a better tomorrow.' Maybe she was trying to hint something to me, all the way back then, in some of her last words she spoke to me. But, that was only part of it, I think. Maybe she meant it...for all of us. To carry the torch, in a sense."
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“Radiant Delvers, versus the world?” It’s the first time in the whole day that Julia can even manage the faintest glimmer of a smile. He nods quietly.
“Us against the world. But we hit harder than we’ve got any right to. We just need to keep playing smart. And not collapse any more mineheads.” Angela tries not to laugh, but a chuckle still emerges.
“Okay, this has been, um…a heavy topic day. We should probably go get cleaned up. One thing I can say as a positive about having Alex in my head, he’s…been helping me go through some of it. I’m starting to see the novelty of having a second voice inside my head, you know? No matter what I’m facing, I always have a second opinion and someone close by. And, someone besides Julia to call me an idiot for some really bad ideas, isn’t the worst thing to happen to me."
“Aw, are you two bonding?” Julia teases. She still wants to know what they discuss inside his head, and she will move heaven and earth to find the magic to make that happen. All she needs is a psychic! She needs to find a magical fox girl, damn it! Drenar chuckles softly.
“He told me to get my head out of my arse, is what he told me, and go find bad guys and beat them up. Even if Mom was murdered, moping around isn’t going to bring her killer to justice. I mean, it’s sound advice. King’s getting beat down when I find him next time, and I’m gonna break his legs so he can’t run away. That doesn’t count as killing.”
“No, that just makes you savage,” Julia grins. “Alex, we love you for taking care of our boy, even though we can’t hear you! Man, that is so weird, so he hears everything you hear?”
“Yep, and everything I see and…sense,” he adds hesitantly. Julia glances at Angela, who’s blushing slightly, and she has a pretty good idea why.
“No free time for…personal needs?”
“Yeah, that’s a way to put it,” he says while rubbing the back of his neck and averting his gaze. “Angela, same deal with Samarina?”
“Yep. Personal needs have been…um…” she clears her throat, and shifts her stance uneasily. “Let’s just say there’s been some adjustments.”
“I can totally relate.”
“So, what’s our plan for today? Apart from trying to not get killed by the Talons murder army?” Angela asks.
“Start looking for secret underwater facilities. Go pack a snorkel set, I doubt it’ll be that easy, though. Where would you hide an arcane repository? Someplace subtle, someplace people would just take it for granted in broad daylight…” Drenar starts thinking, but Angela’s face brightens.
“Oh my Fates! I think I got it!” Angela’s exclamation gets both of their attention.
“Wait. How?”
“I think you guys might have actually found Asqualia already.”
“Huh?”
“The book. Ergath’s Draconomicon. Why was it stashed at the library?”
Suddenly, all plans of banter and calm planning are off the table. Angela might have hit the nail on the head this time, and Julia starts grinning and gives her a hug, even though she feels all sweaty and gross.
“You are my bestest friend ever. Drenar, let’s get the team!”
“Can it wait until I’m less…savory?” he sighs as glances at his sweat-soaked clothes. He wrinkles his nose when he predictably takes a sniff. “Personal question. Does body scent change a little when we Awaken, or is that just me?”
“It’s just…um…” She trails off when she takes a whiff of air, and can smell that vanilla scent that Angela always prefers. And…something slightly spicy? Clove? “Why do you smell different?”
“As opposed to…when, exactly?” Angela gently lets go and blushes lightly.
“Uh…this is going places.” Drenar looks even more awkward than before. “Do we…want to explore this, or just tally this mystery up for later?”
“Pretty sure this one can wait a while,” Julia sighs. It smells like something from a hookah parlor, something slightly alluring. Hey brain, where are you going with this? Weird feelings seem to be in vogue today, what does this even mean?
“Julia, you’re grinning creepily,” Angela says with an assuring pat on her shoulder. She turns her head to peer at Drenar with the same grin on her face. “Hey Drenar, your twinsoul is broken! Or, there’s something on her mind that I probably don’t need to know?”
“Oh I just had an entertaining thought,” she says while letting the idea go for the moment. Maybe I should try a little of column A and column B? If Drenar’s not committed, that opens a door, if I want to walk through it! Wait, no, too soon. Let's give this one room to breathe, first. But, do I even know who I want in life? You know what, I should focus on obliterating the giant dragon empress first, surviving the wrath of my mom, then personal feelings on life.
“Okay, let’s clean up and get moving. Thanks to our pyromaniac Jonaleth, we have a laughably easy day, due to the school being closed. Not exactly a silver lining I was aiming for, but we can bounce to the library.” Drenar gets to the point quickly, and she’s glad he’s somewhat out of his funk. She really needs to find a way to personally thank Alex for that one…somehow.
“Drenar…you’re not going to try to fight this alone,” Julia states firmly, and Angela peers at him calmly. He waits a second before shaking his head lightly.
“No. Not a chance. I’ve got something to live for. I’ve always had it, I just never realized it. You guys. So let’s go do what we do best, because I’m not leaving Joey and Kyle out to dry. Not while I have a say in the matter.”
“There he is, the Drenar we know and love!” Angela poses. He smiles faintly.
“Well, I still have some stuff to sort out internally, but…we’ve got this real thing to sort out first. C’mon, let’s get moving. I think we’ve got a lot of ground to cover.”
When Julia rises with the rest of them, she smiles faintly. This has already been a hard day but…knowing that Drenar is one step further away from where he was, is still enough to brighten her mood. Every day is going to be like that for him. One step forward, millimeter by millimeter, he’s fighting to get back to something more…whole. Maybe he wouldn’t get back to who he was, before that tragic day…
…But maybe, he’ll keep taking steps to becoming the person he wants to be. And she’ll be leading him forward, no matter how long it takes.