Chapter 62 – Staring into the Abyss – Holly Hayfield

Ms. Logan and I found a private bench to sit down on at the end of one of the hallway corridors. She had finally calmed down enough that her words were making sense. Ms. Logan talked to me about the back and forth she and Ms. Sampson had gone through all week. The gist of it was that Ms. Sampson no longer felt Ms. Logan was worth the trouble. This termination of her employment was a last ditch effort to bury all information about the basement and the past.

“I don’t understand,” I said, “I thought your relationship with her goes back to high school. I thought you two had some sort of arrangement to help each other.”

Ms. Logan scoffed.

“Jackie has never lived up to her word. She never lives up to anything!” She shouted.

I had to wave my hand downwards to give her the signal not to yell. I wasn’t even sure she cared about being heard anymore. We were several hallways away from the gymnasium so we probably didn’t need to worry too much. It would still be bad if Ms. Sampson herself caught me speaking to her. Hopefully she was still busy with Angel and Charlotte.

“Jackie…” Ms. Logan said in a sharp voice filled with scorn, “I should’ve known from the beginning never to trust her. I’ve left my entire life in her hands, and now what? Now she just kicks me to the curb and leaves me to rot on the streets. I don’t have money to pay my bills, and I’m already behind!”

I put my hand on Ms. Logan’s shoulder.

“You could reach out to your family members.”

“The last time I reached out to them was to spit in their faces… No one wants me back home… No one wants me anywhere… I feel like everything was a mistake. Everything…”

Her voice was becoming quieter as she spoke. This was no longer rage spewing from out of her, this was pure regret. The distant look in her eyes, her forlorn body language, the feeling of calm after a storm that was emanating from her, she wasn’t even here. She was once again stuck in the past. Her eyes were wide open, but I was sure she wasn’t looking at anything in front of her. I wondered what she was seeing now. Was it Malorie?

Ms. Sampson must’ve realized just what a rash decision this was, on some level, at least. Ms. Sampson was a methodical woman, what was the motivation for firing Ms. Logan? After all, didn’t she keep Ms. Logan close for the sake of keeping the secret about Malorie safe? Was she willing to let Ms. Logan off the leash that easily? Or maybe she was expecting Ms. Logan would slump over and accept it without a fight?

Ms. Logan had nothing to lose. From what I understood she wasn’t good with money and was already struggling with bills. She was plagued by mental illness and would struggle to find new employment because of said illness. She had no family and no one she was close enough with that she could lean on in this type of situation. Being homeless in her circumstances would be the least of her concerns. Ms. Sampson had practically given her a death sentence.

From the look on her face Ms. Logan looked ready to accept that sentence. She had cried all her tears and finally come to terms. She sat staring blankly at the wall, resting quietly with my hand on hers. She was so quiet and defeated that she may as well have already been dead. For all my struggles about trying to put her on a better path, this seemed to be where it ended. There was no one that would fight for her… Just like Malorie.

“Ms. Logan…” I started to say, “Abby!”

Her attention snapped back to reality as I used her nickname.

“Don’t take this lying down.” I said, “Ms. Sampson has been treating you poorly all these years. It’s time that you give her a peace of your mind.”

This type of assertiveness was outside of her normal character. Naturally, she shrunk back at the suggestion.

“I… I can’t…” She mumbled, “I… I… What if…?”

“What if she fires you?” I asked her. “What if she yells at you? What can she do to you that she hasn’t done already? This woman has taken your life away and you’re about to let her get away with it unchallenged. Can you stand by that?”

Ms. Logan lowered her head and shrugged.

“There isn’t much to take away at this point…”

“So you’re going to surrender just like that?”

“I’m not a fighter.” She said with certainty. “I’ve always been blown around on the winds of life. I just want to rest now.”

It was clear I wasn’t going to ever be able to convince her to value herself. Her self-value depreciated every year she was separated from Malorie. Maybe I could convince her to follow another path, however. Now could be the time for her to blow all the information she had on Ms. Sampson. Now could be her chance to get revenge for Malorie.

“Ms. Sampson took something from you, didn’t she, Abby?” I asked.

Ms. Logan looked back up at me.

“She robbed you of something special.” I said. “Something that meant more to you than this job, didn’t she?”

Ms. Logan’s face filled with emotion once again.

“She robbed me of everything.”

“Then remind her.” I said. “You have nothing to lose at this point. At least this way you can clear your conscience and finally be free of her chains.”

With that I got up and walked away from Ms. Logan without looking back. In the end, I couldn’t force her to do anything. The choice to do something was in her hands. If she truly felt remorseful about everything that happened to Malorie then now was the time to act on it. Now would be the day that her true feelings for Malorie would be on display.

Now that my emergency counseling session with Ms. Logan was finished I could return to what I was doing. When I made it to the library all the lights were off, but the door to the library was unlocked. When I walked into the dark library I could see that the lights were on back in the student council room. As I approached the door I heard indistinct chattering and a printer working overtime. I opened the door and peeked in.

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“Holly…?” Val asked, “You’re back already…?”

Val and Lilith were in full mask and costume. Lilith was working on something using her laptop and Val was retrieving papers from the printer. This printer wasn’t in the student council room before. Val must’ve moved it here from a different classroom. When I walked in I got a look at what they were printing. They already had a set of these pamphlets stacked up on the table. I picked one up.

“The Night of the Killing Cat, by Malorie Noelle,” I read.

“Do you like it?” Val asked. “We decided we’d secretly hand out some of these while we have the costumes on.”

“It’s Malorie’s play,” Lilith said, “On the very first page there’s a URL that leads to a webpage with Megan’s video, with a timestamp of the graffiti. Everyone will see the Immortal Diary graffiti clearly this time.”

“Yeah, so will Ms. Sampson.” I said.

“Our bases our clear,” Val said, “We’re not going to give them to anyone directly. We’re going to slip them into lockers and other places where they can be ‘found’. Come Monday morning people will be picking them up all over the school.”

“We’ve got a problem. It’s about Ms. Logan…” I said.

“What about her?” Val asked.

“She was just fired.” I said.

“What?” They both asked at the same time.

“Ms. Sampson is out for blood. She’s trying to suppress information any way she can.”

“You came to convince us to stop…?” Lilith asked cautiously.

“No, actually…” I said. “I think… I think for the future of the school the rot has to be cut out. I was hesitant before, but now that I’ve got to know a lot of other students I feel like it has to be done. We can’t have a school run by murderers.”

Val smiled broadly and walked over to me to give me a hug. I couldn’t smile back at her as I felt painful about the whole thing. I did manage to hug her back however.

“Finally…! You understand!” Val said.

“I’ve always understood.” I said as I stood back from Val, “I just didn’t want to rock the boat. Now I feel like if I don’t then I’d be leaving our underclassmen to these demons in the future. I don’t want to leave here with that on my mind.”

“Now…” Val said as she rubbed my shoulders, “Now you’re ready to rock the boat?”

“We’re not going to rock the boat.” I said. “We’re going to sink it. The only way to forge a new school is from the ashes of the old. I believe that starts with Malorie’s disappearance coming to the light.”

“That’s my case exactly.” Lilith said.

“Malorie deserves justice.” Val said.

“We all do.” I said.

Lilith and Val were going to hold me true to my words. I helped them finish printing the rest of their pamphlets. Once we had enough, we had to make do with the remaining time we had before the fall festival officially began. That meant slipping these neat little pamphlets into unsuspecting lockers, rooms, and crevices so that they would be discovered on Monday. Doing this in the mostly unlit hallways felt like some sort of stealth operation.

Val and I ran out of pamphlets before we could hit all our agreed upon areas. Lilith, the little devil, wanted to go back and print more. When we heard the giant speakers in the gymnasium blare on we knew we were out of time. Lilith said she’d separate from us in order to finish placing the few remaining pamphlets she had. Val and I needed to get to the gymnasium before the commencement started. We were both slated to make an appearance on the stage.

We were heading back to the gymnasium in a bit of a rush. Val was wearing one of the robes the event committee made. We were matching, with the exceptions of our masks. I gave her a fox masks along with a few extras that she could help hand out to other people. She placed the extra masks into her own bag. Someone else walked out of the gymnasium door just as we reached it. It was a girl wearing the same robe, along with a pink rabbit mask.

“Holly…?” The person behind the mask asked in a soft voice.

“Yes…?” I asked.

The person took off her mask. Val tensed up before the mask was even completely off. It was Erica. Val took off her mask too so that Erica could see her death glare. This was an awkward stare down. We couldn’t get into the gym without going past her and it looked like she didn’t want that to happen. Despite all of my warning, Erica was really planning to go through with it.

“Val…” Erica said urgently, “I want to talk.”

“You’re talking right now.” Val said irritably.

Erica ignored Val’s tone and began to take baby steps forward.

“I want to talk about everything I did… about everything I’ve done… I owe you…”

Val was shaking her head and quietly laughing in disbelief.

“Don’t you say it,” Val warned her through her bared teeth.

“I owe you an apology.” Erica stated firmly. “An apology for everything I didn’t do back then. You were a good girl.”

Val’s eyes flared with anger.

“And you were a good liar!” Val shouted, “I see that hasn’t changed either! What is it this time, Erica? You want to try to convince me that the past doesn’t mean anything? You want to try to pry yourself back into my life again so that you can rip more of my heart out? What is it?”

I put my hand on Val’s so that she wouldn’t lose control of herself. My touch barely even registered on Val’s face. She tensed up in surprise the moment I took her hand. Still, she held my hand firmly like I was an anchor. She probably wanted me to hold her back from doing something violent. If she made a scene here, then the night would be ruined. Our plans and her hold over the student council presidency would go up in flames.

“I want to know the truth.” Erica said.

“What truth…?” Val asked. “There’s never been any truth, not with you. All you know is how to lie.”

“I do know one thing.” Erica said. “I know that Iris didn’t take all the good out of you.”

“Don’t say that name.” Val said. “Don’t you dare say her name around me.”

Erica fixed her posture and raised her chin boldly.

“That day that you discovered the truth about Iris and Kate…”

“I’m warning you…” Val said deeply.

“That day that you discovered the truth about them you sent them to a hospital bed. You took out all your rage, all your stress, all your frustrations. That was the end of your normal life and the start of the life that brought you here. All I want is one answer from you, and I promise to leave you be.”

Val let the proposal hang in the air for a moment. At this point I felt that she’d just march right through Erica in order to get to the gymnasium. Then she lowered her head, closed her eyes, and let out a long, drawn out sigh.

“What?” Val asked in a frustrated whisper. “What could it possibly be that you want to know?”

“I want to know why you spared me that day.”

“On a whim,” Val said immediately.

“Liar!” Erica shouted.

Val looked back up at her angrily.

“Liar…” Erica said softer, “That day you had their fresh blood all over you. When I stepped in I was sure that I was next. I was scared. It was the first time in my life that I truly felt powerless. Yet, you didn’t do anything. You let me go.”

Val was closing her eyes and thinking deeply as Erica spoke. It was like she was reliving what Erica was saying. I could see the visible discomfort on her twisted facial expression.

“Tell me truthfully, Valentina.” Erica said, “Why didn’t you send me to the emergency room with them?”

Val opened her eyes back up and gave Erica a solemn look.

“You were the first person…” Val said. “You were the very first person that I took to when I came to this country. The first. I thought that this place would be better than my shitty school life back home. I was sure that this was the true meaning of friendship.”

Erica now had a solemn look on her face just like Val.

“You proved me wrong.” Val said, “The three of you proved me wrong together. I know, now, a lesson that I’ve been trying to drill into Holly since school began. This world filled with demons and the only way to live in it is to become the same. Do you really want to know why I spared you?”

Erica slowly nodded.

“I spared you because I was weak.” Val said harshly. “I was too weak to do what I needed to be done. Perhaps if I did then you wouldn’t dare stand in front of me like this. The truth, that you want to know so badly, is that I really did plan to attack you, Erica. I really planned to leave you in the same state I left them.”

Erica was listening with intent surprise. Was this what she wanted to hear after all this time?

“It was just that the moment I saw the fear in your eyes I remembered.” Val said.

“You remembered what?” Erica asked.

“I remembered the girl that took me in when no one else would. I remembered that smile you gave me the first time we ever spoke. I knew it was a fake smile, but that stupid memory kept me from hurting you. My grip on the bat faltered, and I left you as you were.”

Erica stared at Val in silence. Erica took another baby step forward. Then she took another, and another. She kept making these small steps until she was standing just in front of Val. Slowly. she raised her hand to Val’s face. Val froze, like she was torn between responses. Erica put a hand on Val’s cheek.

“People change, Val. You’ve changed.” Erica said. “I’ve changed too. I want to make amends. I want to have a friendship. I want to have a real friendship.”